New DCM Just Shows Up Early at My Door

[Tasha]

Haha. I don't think she's ''evil'' either; I just think she is totally self-involved that she thinks the world revolves around her and her schedule. When she announced that she was going to change her schedule permanently from 5 to 6 pm, I thought it was very telling that she didn't mention at all (or I'm sure take into consideration) that her DD would be here an extra hour (a 10-hour day) without any other kids, and the effect that would have on her.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to term. My only hesitancy is replacing her. I dread acclimating a new family. I really have had lousy luck this last year with new parents.

[Tasha]

I once heard someone ask a psychiatrist to help them understand why they are always late. The psychiatrist said he could explain it but she wouldn't like the answer. She wanted to hear it anyway.

He said you're always late because you're selfish. Primping is more important, stopping by the store is more important, working a few minutes late is more important to you than anyone else's time. You think that what you need to do is more important than what anyone else needs to do. You think your time is more valuable. IT'S NOT. She had no reply.

This woman does not value you or your time. Cut her loose.

I think you are 100 percent on-target. I had a friend who was habitually late for dinner dates, movies or whatever we planned to do. So finally I told her that the subtext of her constant tardiness was her belief that her time was more important than mine. That my time didn't matter. Once I put it to her that way, she got a lot better showing up on time. Not perfect, but much better.

[NightOwl]

I think you are 100 percent on-target. I had a friend who was habitually late for dinner dates, movies or whatever we planned to do. So finally I told her that the subtext of her constant tardiness was her belief that her time was more important than mine. That my time didn't matter. Once I put it to her that way, she got a lot better showing up on time. Not perfect, but much better.

And sometimes, that's what they need to hear because they honestly don't realize it.

[Josiegirl]

BC, while I agree with you that Tasha's program and this woman probably are not a good fit, I also believe we can sometimes be quick to suggest terming when we're on this side of the screen. I was just offering another option if terming was an issue. Quite possibly a simple conversation with this woman might be all that's needed for her eyes to be opened. And quite possibly not.

[Thriftylady]

BC, while I agree with you that Tasha's program and this woman probably are not a good fit, I also believe we can sometimes be quick to suggest terming when we're on this side of the screen. I was just offering another option if terming was an issue. Quite possibly a simple conversation with this woman might be all that's needed for her eyes to be opened. And quite possibly not.

I would agree with that in some cases. For me, in this case I wouldn't. Tasha already feels walked on and disrespected. For ME, I wouldn't be able to move on from that, I just don't do that well. If Tasha can, then it may work.

[lovemykidstoo]

Haha. I don't think she's ''evil'' either; I just think she is totally self-involved that she thinks the world revolves around her and her schedule. When she announced that she was going to change her schedule permanently from 5 to 6 pm, I thought it was very telling that she didn't mention at all (or I'm sure take into consideration) that her DD would be here an extra hour (a 10-hour day) without any other kids, and the effect that would have on her.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to term. My only hesitancy is replacing her. I dread acclimating a new family. I really have had lousy luck this last year with new parents.

I'm trying to catch up again. So to clear it up in my head, the mom originally contracted with you a 8-5 schedule? if that's the case, then what time does she get out of work and how far away does she work? What time do you have kids until? For instance I have kids from 7:30-5:15. So if she was contracted with me until 4:30, but she couldn't get here in time for whatever reason, I could change her contact to 5:15 and add $ to her contract if I chose. Iwould not however, change it to 5:30 because I don't have kids that late. Now if she needs until 6:00, but you don't take kids after 5:00 then she just obviously needs to go somewhere else.

[MunchkinWrangler]

I don't think DCM is 'evil' but she obviously didn't consider that having certain hours set and then going over them wasn't a big deal and in turn being really inconsiderate and rude. I don't know, but if I had a meeting with someone saying these are your hours, and went over how to communicate with me and how things are done according to the service I'm signing up for, you think she wouldn't be pulling all this stuff right at the beginning. She is showing blatant disregard for rules. People like this make me wonder how they even get through the day, how does she even handle her big corporate job if she can't even follow simple direction. That has me scratching my head.

[Tasha]

I'm trying to catch up again. So to clear it up in my head, the mom originally contracted with you a 8-5 schedule? if that's the case, then what time does she get out of work and how far away does she work? What time do you have kids until? For instance I have kids from 7:30-5:15. So if she was contracted with me until 4:30, but she couldn't get here in time for whatever reason, I could change her contact to 5:15 and add $ to her contract if I chose. Iwould not however, change it to 5:30 because I don't have kids that late. Now if she needs until 6:00, but you don't take kids after 5:00 then she just obviously needs to go somewhere else.

She just finished her second week. Her contracted hours are from 8 to 5. Her work hours are from 8:30 to 4:30. I went over and over with her the hours she requested and if she thinks those would work. Now I am discovering that if her boss comes to her and needs something, then she'll have to stay late (according to her).
On Friday, she tried to tell me that she wants me to stay open until 6. I am not going to do it. I would be willing to stay open until 5:15 at the latest, but I don't think that would even help her. I honestly believe that if I scheduled her from 8 to 6, she'd start picking up closer to 7 and pay the late fee and not think a thing about it.

[Unregistered]

dcm (former provider)

She is only caring abt herself. Term. U can tell her it's bc your schedule and hers do not accomodate each other. The lack of respect would make me term immediately.

[Blackcat31]

BC, while I agree with you that Tasha's program and this woman probably are not a good fit, I also believe we can sometimes be quick to suggest terming when we're on this side of the screen. I was just offering another option if terming was an issue. Quite possibly a simple conversation with this woman might be all that's needed for her eyes to be opened. And quite possibly not.

I didn't mean to imply you specifically were labeling this mom or calling her evil.... I'm sorry if it came across that way.

I was just speaking in general about the tone of the thread.

Your posts are always great because you always try to give the poster a positive real life solution!

[Tasha]

She will be termed tomorrow.

I just got this email from her, which I have cut and pasted here. It's all here, word-for-word, and if I weren't so livid I would laugh:

Miss Tasha,
I hope you are enjoying this lovely day. My husband and I have
been discussing the daycare situation, and we'd like to sit down with you
Monday afternoon to discuss the schedule possibilities. We think
we can make it work, e.g. Monday and Wednesday, I can pick up 6,
and/or my husband can get DD at 5:30 on Tuesday, etc. If you are
open-minded, we are convinced that we can reach an amenable
agreement.
We also discussed something that distressed me on Friday. When I
came in, DD was sitting on the couch, watching the Disney Channel.
This upset my husband greatly as we do not believe in a lot of screen-
time for DD. It is simply not appropriate. DD said that you allowed
her to watch TV one morning, also. During our interview, you said that
very rarely did you have the TV on, and agreed that it wasn't beneficial
for small children. If you would like, I can forward on a couple of
studies showing TV's detrimental effects on children. I know I was
late on Friday and I'd hate to think that you were ''punishing'' me
by allowing DD to watch TV. But this is something that we can also
discuss on Monday.
Regards,
Mrs. Snotty Parent.

[Josiegirl]

OOH just the part about her problem with her dd watching television as 'you had discussed at the interview'...were her hours not discussed at the interview as well???
And then to offer sending articles about the detriments of watching too much tv.....egads.
Wish you could forward her all the replies you've gotten here.

Sounds like it is still all about her.

[midaycare]

So, definitely not a good fit after that email. You told her 6pm wouldn't work, she emails you about 6pm times. She wants you to be open minded, but refuses to be the same. She criticizes your program and thinks she is your boss.

I don't think there is a moving forward point from here. This woman is not evil, but sheis utterly clueless.

[Unregistered]

Wow, she is too much! I would delete the cut and paste though if I were you. I feel it would be a nightmare if she discovered this here on the forum. Ps- get rid of her now! Yikes

[Annalee]

I just got this email from her, which I have cut and pasted here. It's all here, word-for-word, and if I weren't so livid I would laugh:

Miss Tasha,
I hope you are enjoying this lovely day. My husband and I have
been discussing the daycare situation, and we'd like to sit down with you
Monday afternoon to discuss the schedule possibilities. We think
we can make it work, e.g. Monday and Wednesday, I can pick up 6,
and/or my husband can get DD at 5:30 on Tuesday, etc. If you are
open-minded, we are convinced that we can reach an amenable
agreement.
We also discussed something that distressed me on Friday. When I
came in, DD was sitting on the couch, watching the Disney Channel.
This upset my husband greatly as we do not believe in a lot of screen-
time for DD. It is simply not appropriate. DD said that you allowed
her to watch TV one morning, also. During our interview, you said that
very rarely did you have the TV on, and agreed that it wasn't beneficial
for small children. If you would like, I can forward on a couple of
studies showing TV's detrimental effects on children. I know I was
late on Friday and I'd hate to think that you were ''punishing'' me
by allowing DD to watch TV. But this is something that we can also
discuss on Monday.
Regards,
Mrs. Snotty Parent.

I would email back and term effective immediately then not respond to any thing else she sends you. Good luck!