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New DCM Just Shows Up Early at My Door

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  • I took everybody's advice and wrote a short note to her explaining that we were not a good fit, and that termination was effective immediately. I went ahead and used a messenger service to send the note along with her dd's things because I didn't want to wait until tomorrow to mail her stuff. I requested a signature so there will be no question that she saw the termination letter.
    I cannot thank all of you enough for all of your wonderful advice and support. I literally don't know what I would do
    without you. Truly.

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    • Originally posted by Tasha View Post
      I took everybody's advice and wrote a short note to her explaining that we were not a good fit, and that termination was effective immediately. I went ahead and used a messenger service to send the note along with her dd's things because I didn't want to wait until tomorrow to mail her stuff. I requested a signature so there will be no question that she saw the termination letter.
      I cannot thank all of you enough for all of your wonderful advice and support. I literally don't know what I would do
      without you. Truly.
      I am proud of you. You did the right thing. And although it may not have been the easiest, at least you stuck to your guns. Keeping her would leave you resentful everyday. You motivate me to be able to do this. I wish you the best and that you are able to replace soon! :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

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      • I'm just waiting for her to blow up your phone or drive to your home tonight.

        You did the right thing, and :hug:. Stay strong if she responds.

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        • Originally posted by midaycare View Post
          I'm just waiting for her to blow up your phone or drive to your home tonight.

          You did the right thing, and :hug:. Stay strong if she responds.
          I agree with this. Something tells me she isn't going to handle no well. I do wonder though what happens if the messenger service comes and she isn't home? I have never lived in an area that it was common to use, so I don't know much about that.

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          • Originally posted by Thriftylady View Post
            I agree with this. Something tells me she isn't going to handle no well. I do wonder though what happens if the messenger service comes and she isn't home? I have never lived in an area that it was common to use, so I don't know much about that.
            Well, the phone calls started at 12:30, and have continued every hour. She hasn't left a voicemail, which surprised me because I thought she'd yell. I am not going to answer the phone, but I don't know how much longer I can take the phone ringing and ringing. I need strength. (To answer your question, the messenger service emailed me a copy of her signature and the time of delivery, which was 12:10 pm. The service is a little pricey, so I don't use it a lot, but in cases like this I think it's worth it.)

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            • Originally posted by Tasha View Post
              Well, the phone calls started at 12:30, and have continued every hour. She hasn't left a voicemail, which surprised me because I thought she'd yell. I am not going to answer the phone, but I don't know how much longer I can take the phone ringing and ringing. I need strength. (To answer your question, the messenger service emailed me a copy of her signature and the time of delivery, which was 12:10 pm. The service is a little pricey, so I don't use it a lot, but in cases like this I think it's worth it.)
              Can you unplug or turn off your phone for peace of mind?

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              • Originally posted by Tasha View Post
                Well, the phone calls started at 12:30, and have continued every hour. She hasn't left a voicemail, which surprised me because I thought she'd yell. I am not going to answer the phone, but I don't know how much longer I can take the phone ringing and ringing. I need strength. (To answer your question, the messenger service emailed me a copy of her signature and the time of delivery, which was 12:10 pm. The service is a little pricey, so I don't use it a lot, but in cases like this I think it's worth it.)
                This doesn't surprise me at all. She misbehaved, you called her on it, and now she is angry. According to what I read in that email, she really thought she was going to get her way!

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                • Tasha, you did good!happyface

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                  • Originally posted by lovemydaycare0912 View Post
                    I am proud of you. You did the right thing. And although it may not have been the easiest, at least you stuck to your guns. Keeping her would leave you resentful everyday. You motivate me to be able to do this. I wish you the best and that you are able to replace soon! :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:
                    I really want to thank you for this. It does give me great motivation to stick to my guns.
                    I can't turn my ringer off because I expect my daughter to call when it is time to pick her up from her trip. I don't understand why this DCM won't just leave a message instead of making one phone call after another!

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                    • Originally posted by Josiegirl View Post
                      Tasha, you did good!happyface
                      You are so sweet, Josie. I feel myself slipping, though.
                      This is very nerve-wracking.

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                      • Originally posted by Tasha View Post
                        I really want to thank you for this. It does give me great motivation to stick to my guns.
                        I can't turn my ringer off because I expect my daughter to call when it is time to pick her up from her trip. I don't understand why this DCM won't just leave a message instead of making one phone call after another!
                        She wants the chance to change your mind. Or give you a piece of hers.

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                        • Of course she is going to call. You sort of put her in a bad position, because you were passive aggressive. I'm not taking the mom's side, but who terms on a Sunday? She can't even get replacement care until tomorrow. Her or husband will have to take an unneeded day off. I can't term parents without notice. It makes me feel unprofessional, because it is. When I used to work at the HS, I was fired without noticed. It was run by the boe and I was going to get tenure. The Monday after Christmas I got letter version of a pink slip. I usually keep my mouth shut, it really disturbs me how funny people find this and advised the OP to do it. I'm not wishing any thing on anyone, but if anyone ever gets the rug pulled out on them I hope instead of feeling bad for yourself you remember all the terms without notice and advising the OP you did.

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                          • Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                            Of course she is going to call. You sort of put her in a bad position, because you were passive aggressive. I'm not taking the mom's side, but who terms on a Sunday? She can't even get replacement care until tomorrow. Her or husband will have to take an unneeded day off. I can't term parents without notice. It makes me feel unprofessional, because it is. When I used to work at the HS, I was fired without noticed. It was run by the boe and I was going to get tenure. The Monday after Christmas I got letter version of a pink slip. I usually keep my mouth shut, it really disturbs me how funny people find this and advised the OP to do it. I'm not wishing any thing on anyone, but if anyone ever gets the rug pulled out on them I hope instead of feeling bad for yourself you remember all the terms without notice and advising the OP you did.
                            We'll the parent put OP in a bad spot too expecting her to work extra and basically bossing her around. Dcp did not abude by the contract. When you don't play by the rules, that kind of stuff happens. If she would have played nice OP would not have had to put her in that spot. It's easy to be judgy when it's not you it's happening to.

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                            • Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
                              Of course she is going to call. You sort of put her in a bad position, because you were passive aggressive. I'm not taking the mom's side, but who terms on a Sunday? She can't even get replacement care until tomorrow. Her or husband will have to take an unneeded day off. I can't term parents without notice. It makes me feel unprofessional, because it is. When I used to work at the HS, I was fired without noticed. It was run by the boe and I was going to get tenure. The Monday after Christmas I got letter version of a pink slip. I usually keep my mouth shut, it really disturbs me how funny people find this and advised the OP to do it. I'm not wishing any thing on anyone, but if anyone ever gets the rug pulled out on them I hope instead of feeling bad for yourself you remember all the terms without notice and advising the OP you did.
                              The parent did this. The parent signed a contract with the hours of care written on it. The parent then breached the contract by not abiding by it. Sometimes, in order to be professional we need to step back from the situation and get the emotion out of it. Terming on any day would have upset the parent and made them feel like the rug was pulled out. But it is the parent who brought this upon herself.

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                              • Also, it was during the 2 week trial period, I believe, during which time either party can walk away without a notice. I might be wrong but that's how my contract is written.
                                It's not funny but that woman seriously needed to go with the rules of the dc she signed on with, which she agreed to at the interview. She was condescending, rude, and treated OP with complete lack of respect and regard. IMO running a dc is very different than working for someone else. You can't really compare the two. Plus there are lots of places that hand a person their paycheck and say oh yeh, we don't need you anymore. It does happen.

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