New DCM Just Shows Up Early at My Door

[Unregistered]

I don't know.

I went back to the thread in question ("Tasha!!!") and reread the conversation.

It wasn't until "unregistered" on that thread just wouldn't let go of the "Tasha is obviously lying and hiding because she can't back up her outlandish story" rhetoric for several posts that people finally started saying "Okay, enough, you're being mean". At first, all the regular posters were not making "unregistered" out to be a bad guy, but questioning where she came to that conclusion based on the evidence in this thread. Yes, they were questioning her logic, but not attacking her.

She came to a thread that was made to check up on and support Tasha, and brought the unkind speculation from this thread over to that one. Perhaps we could have all been more pragmatic about our approach and simply said, "You speculating like that isn't really helpful. We just want to check up on Tasha, not throw anymore speculation out there." And instead people got into a debate about it.

I think the only member who could have approached it more constructively is me (I simply said "Go away troll"). But, I had already read the whole conversation up to that point and I was frustrated that the debate was even a part of that thread. Yes, she's entitled to her opinion, and she has free speech and all of that. But, I feel like she chose the wrong place and thread to continue the unkind speculation. Those of us who debated and/or defended had a right to let "unregistered" know that, too.

I will, however, be more constructive in my feedback to posters I don't particularly agree with in the future.

Please read it. I was called a liar and the mom in question when I said I thought the mom should be given more than a few hours notice. How would anyone like to have to give up a day of work to find daycare? I was also cursed at by Nannyde. I wasn't treated nice. I'm a long time reader. I post once and awhile, but I've seen this mob mentality before. As I said, I am a licensed teacher and have walked in all types of environments with parents. I don't want to see it as them vs us. I think sometimes this forum does that. I want to see it as two parties caring about a minor's well being. I'm aware some of you solely look at this as a job, but I don't. I feel that view isn't respected at all.

[Thriftylady]

I don't know.

I went back to the thread in question ("Tasha!!!") and reread the conversation.

It wasn't until "unregistered" on that thread just wouldn't let go of the "Tasha is obviously lying and hiding because she can't back up her outlandish story" rhetoric for several posts that people finally started saying "Okay, enough, you're being mean". At first, all the regular posters were not making "unregistered" out to be a bad guy, but questioning where she came to that conclusion based on the evidence in this thread. Yes, they were questioning her logic, but not attacking her.

She came to a thread that was made to check up on and support Tasha, and brought the unkind speculation from this thread over to that one. Perhaps we could have all been more pragmatic about our approach and simply said, "You speculating like that isn't really helpful. We just want to check up on Tasha, not throw anymore speculation out there." And instead people got into a debate about it.

I think the only member who could have approached it more constructively is me (I simply said "Go away troll"). But, I had already read the whole conversation up to that point and I was frustrated that the debate was even a part of that thread. Yes, she's entitled to her opinion, and she has free speech and all of that. But, I feel like she chose the wrong place and thread to continue the unkind speculation. Those of us who debated and/or defended had a right to let "unregistered" know that, too.

I will, however, be more constructive in my feedback to posters I don't particularly agree with in the future.

No maybe I could have also. But really the person who keeps posting is just stirring the pot. And if I were Tasha, after everything that was said, I would be very upset at someone following me around questioning me. But, just us "unregistered" feels they can have have their opinion, even if it is mean spirited. I feel the regular posters also have a right to stand up for what we believe in and support a fellow provider. If not us then who?

[SnowGirl]

Please read it. I was called a liar and the mom in question when I said I thought the mom should be given more than a few hours notice. How would anyone like to have to give up a day of work to find daycare? I was also cursed at by Nannyde. I wasn't treated nice. I'm a long time reader. I post once and awhile, but I've seen this mob mentality before. As I said, I am a licensed teacher and have walked in all types of environments with parents. I don't want to see it as them vs us. I think sometimes this forum does that. I want to see it as two parties caring about a minor's well being. I'm aware some of you solely look at this as a job, but I don't. I feel that view isn't respected at all.

In regards to THIS thread, I remember the part of the conversation you're referring to. I was talking about another thread entirely, by the way.

Anyway, you would have given this DCM a week to work out other care, and that's a choice you have every right to make.

Tasha and this DCM were still within the two week trial period, but that was just about to end. If Tasha wanted to end the relationship before the contract became official, she needed to do so that day. The straw that broke the camel's back was the email she received on Saturday, and she acted immediately (sent out a messenger Sunday morning).

There are many ways a provider can handle a situation like this, and Tasha's way was valid. Your way would have been valid. I've been in Tasha's shoes before and I handled it in a less strict way (trying to work with the family), and they never started to respect me or my policies. If there is ever another family to treat me that way, I will be doing it the way Tasha was advised to do it in this thread.

I, like you, desire a partnership with my families, not a "me vs. them". I'm lucky in that I have had that with most of my families save the one.

[NightOwl]

Agree with thrifty. Some may call it mob mentality, I call it sticking up for one another when one who is very familiar is being attacked and called a liar by an unknown person.

Unregistered, you have to see that Tasha has been on this forum for quite some time, but as "Unregistered", you are one of many. Even if you are a regular poster, we have no way of knowing that because you do not have an identifiable name and no track record.

So from our perspective, a regular member was being trash talked by an Unregistered troll. It's just a matter of perception and that's what most of us perceived.

IMHO, and plenty of other do not share this opinion, if you want more credence, more respect, more attention paid to your posts, way less assumptions that you're a troll, then put your name on it.

[Rockgirl]

We can hash out this topic for days....wait, already have! But why? If Tasha chooses to come back and update, she will, but isn't this getting old? Maybe we should put it on the back burner....just a suggestion.

[SnowGirl]

We can hash out this topic for days....wait, already have! But why? If Tasha chooses to come back and update, she will, but isn't this getting old? Maybe we should put it on the back burner....just a suggestion.

Now we're debating whether or not we were unfair to "unregistered"...the debate has evolved. Sigh.

Anyway, you're right. Time to put this topic to rest.

[Ariana]

I personally think that Tasha picked up the phone, chatted with the mom and they worked something out. Maybe she feels she can't tell us that.

I have also been on forums where a lot of crazy stuff was going on behind the scenes that I was completely oblivious too!

Either way, hopefully it's all good

[Thriftylady]

I personally think that Tasha picked up the phone, chatted with the mom and they worked something out. Maybe she feels she can't tell us that.

I have also been on forums where a lot of crazy stuff was going on behind the scenes that I was completely oblivious too!

Either way, hopefully it's all good

I wish that happened and she would tell us how it worked out. So we could learn a new way to handle things if we need to later on!

[Unregistered]

I was the unreg that posted that dcm only cares abt herself, the "sickofyoazz" term letter and the one who had the family that threatened me. I hope Tasha comes back and updates. I also hope if mom did find the thread, she sees the selfishness of her actions and gets a grip.

[none]

I was the unreg that posted that dcm only cares abt herself, the "sickofyoazz" term letter and the one who had the family that threatened me. I hope Tasha comes back and updates. I also hope if mom did find the thread, she sees the selfishness of her actions and gets a grip.

Oops meant to say I am same as "none" i posted also abt nursery and lying mom. Guessed that may have helped explain i wasn't one of the other unreg. I believe i also did a long post yelling at someone who said it was cruel to leave mom 'hangin' or something.

I am a former provider and now dcm. I post here from time to time but not often bc I am not online often.

[christine19720]

Well. Water over the bridge now, charge her your biggest contractually allowed fee.
Text it to her::

Hey mom. Your fee for early drop off is ($$) and needs to be paid in cash at pick up or an additional fee will be charged. Care will not be resumed until it's paid.

Plus at pickup there would be a severe lecture about curtesy, respect, and procedure.
I might say something like,

"This mornings events will NOT be repeated. You had no confirmation of me even receiving your message, let alone knowledge of me being able to accommodate an early drop off. This is the only warning I will give. If this happens again I will answer the door with your child's belongings and care will be terminated immediately. Your extra fee for this morning is($$) and needs to be paid in full immediately. "

This👍