New DCM Just Shows Up Early at My Door

[lovemykidstoo]

Yes, she's still calling.

I'm sure you knew but I was laughing at the post that you could be held liable for violating confidentiality. That cracked me up.

I think I would probably pick up the phone and say WHAT DO YOU WANT???????????????? UGH She sounds crackers.

[Tasha]

Her disrespect knows no bounds! Can you block her number?

I guess I will block her number. I keep hoping she'll leave a message so that I can at least get the tenor of her thinking.
I seriously hope she doesn't show up here tomorrow. That would not be good while I have a houseful of children. I'm really hoping she'll calm down by tomorrow and move forward rather than attempt to make this situation work.

[Unregistered]

Think of what to say:
To her, through the locked door. Say it ONCE only.
To 911, if she does not leave.

It's easier to do it if you are prepared. Write it down to refer to and to practice.

[SnowGirl]

Lurker here

I just want to wish you good luck tomorrow. I really hope she doesn't show up and try to put you on the spot - again.

My very first DCF did this to me...they showed up two times an hour and a half late. Both times, they came together, and they immediately bombarded me with a lecture as soon as they came in the door about some minor complaint they had. I wasn't experienced enough nor did I have the backbone to cut them off, but I wish I had. Both times I never had an opportunity to talk to them about the inappropriateness of picking up so late and disrespecting my time, let alone choosing to discuss their complaints with me outside of business hours and without an appointment. I think that in both cases they were trying to deflect what they knew was their mistake and turn it around on me. I spent both of those evenings crying in my bed, it made me feel so used and weak.

I just mean to say that, while I understand the sentiment that you don't want to just put a DCF in a hard place by terming immediately, there are certain lines people can cross that makes ANY further business dealings incomprehensible. I think OP's (former) DCM crossed that line on Friday, and then really pushed it into deep field with her email on Saturday.

You did the right thing. You did what I wish I would have done.

[Unregistered]

In football they say "the best defense is a good offense" and that is what people like this are doing. They come in attacking YOU to put you on the defense, and to give you NO chance to present your own case. It is a game play, a strategy. Don't let them succeed at this because your business is not a football.

Lurker here

I just want to wish you good luck tomorrow. I really hope she doesn't show up and try to put you on the spot - again.

My very first DCF did this to me...they showed up two times an hour and a half late. Both times, they came together, and they immediately bombarded me with a lecture as soon as they came in the door about some minor complaint they had. I wasn't experienced enough nor did I have the backbone to cut them off, but I wish I had. Both times I never had an opportunity to talk to them about the inappropriateness of picking up so late and disrespecting my time, let alone choosing to discuss their complaints with me outside of business hours and without an appointment. I think that in both cases they were trying to deflect what they knew was their mistake and turn it around on me. I spent both of those evenings crying in my bed, it made me feel so used and weak.

I just mean to say that, while I understand the sentiment that you don't want to just put a DCF in a hard place by terming immediately, there are certain lines people can cross that makes ANY further business dealings incomprehensible. I think OP's (former) DCM crossed that line on Friday, and then really pushed it into deep field with her email on Saturday.

You did the right thing. You did what I wish I would have done.

[Thriftylady]

Lurker here

I just want to wish you good luck tomorrow. I really hope she doesn't show up and try to put you on the spot - again.

My very first DCF did this to me...they showed up two times an hour and a half late. Both times, they came together, and they immediately bombarded me with a lecture as soon as they came in the door about some minor complaint they had. I wasn't experienced enough nor did I have the backbone to cut them off, but I wish I had. Both times I never had an opportunity to talk to them about the inappropriateness of picking up so late and disrespecting my time, let alone choosing to discuss their complaints with me outside of business hours and without an appointment. I think that in both cases they were trying to deflect what they knew was their mistake and turn it around on me. I spent both of those evenings crying in my bed, it made me feel so used and weak.

I just mean to say that, while I understand the sentiment that you don't want to just put a DCF in a hard place by terming immediately, there are certain lines people can cross that makes ANY further business dealings incomprehensible. I think OP's (former) DCM crossed that line on Friday, and then really pushed it into deep field with her email on Saturday.

You did the right thing. You did what I wish I would have done.

I agree with this. Sometimes people just won't allow you to work with them. The very last time my Ex husband beat me, when I escaped the next morning with my children, I swore to myself nobody will ever disrespect me in my own home again. It is in my handbook as a reason for immediate termination.

[midaycare]

I think the OP also needed time to think about what had happened on friday in order to make a decision. Had she termed friday she may have done so due to emotions being high. I think she had every right to sit on it for a day to make sure it was the best decision.
Side note, an unregistered poster calling someone else passive aggressive makes me giggle.

It is important to take time to think things over.

[NightOwl]

I think the OP also needed time to think about what had happened on friday in order to make a decision. Had she termed friday she may have done so due to emotions being high. I think she had every right to sit on it for a day to make sure it was the best decision.
Side note, an unregistered poster calling someone else passive aggressive makes me giggle.

I agree, agree, agree, and did I mention that I AGREE?

[Laurel]

Text her that your business relationship is ended and that you expect no further contact now, or you will need to take further action. Then blick her number.

Give your licensing agency a brief run-down of the situation tomorrow.

Keep yiur doors locked except for clients and call 911 if she shows up at your door.

If she comes to your door, I would say (through the locked door). "Leave my property now or I will call 911." At most, repeat it one more time then just call. To get them there fast, I'd say "I do home childcare and there is someone at my door who won't leave. I am concerned for me and the children." They will be there in a flash once you mention there are children there in your care.

[CityGarden]

Tasha is like a pair of size 6 shoes and the mom needs a size 8. NOTHING wrong with a size 6 or a size 8 they just arent interchangeable.

The mom comes across as disrespectful (and she is) but from everything Tasha has posted it seems its not a personal action... Just how this mom is I guess.

I wouldn't give 3 seconds of my time trying to change her (shrinks get paid the big bucks and take years to successfully change people :.... I would just let her go.

Tasha's program isn't the right fit.

I was thinking the same thing as above, she is just not a right fit for your program. I am sure in the right set up she would be a fine client but she is not the client for you.

[lovemydaycare0912]

Enough. This is a provider's place of peace. Where we come to vent, talk, seek advice, etc. We should not be judged for our thoughts, actions, etc. You did nothing wrong Tasha. AT ALL! Do not let anyone on here try to make you think otherwise. I agree with the others. If she comes, don't open. Just call 911. I will pray tonight for your peace and safety, and update us and let us know you made it through the day okay. :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

[NightOwl]

A plan for morning is essential. Can you keep your door closed/locked in between drop offs?

I'm not sure what was in your note to her, but it might not hurt to send an email reiterating that your business relationship has ended, therefore her phone calls will not be answered and her child is no longer enrolled. That may put the nail in the coffin on the possibility of her trying to show up tomorrow.

[NightOwl]

And update us early! You know we'll all be waiting.

[Unregistered]

I've been lurking this whole thread and I must admit a few comments were funny. Wow. Are you guys serious? What do you think this woman is going to do? Comparing her to a abusive husband and threatening legal actions? This is ridiculous. I hope the mom doesn't show up and the OP is glued to the blinds all day and every little noise makes them jump. This is really just bizarre.

[SnowGirl]

I've been lurking this whole thread and I must admit a few comments were funny. Wow. Are you guys serious? What do you think this woman is going to do? Comparing her to a abusive husband and threatening legal actions? This is ridiculous. I hope the mom doesn't show up and the OP is glued to the blinds all day and every little noise makes them jump. This is really just bizarre.

Sadly, I think there are good reasons so many daycare providers worry about this type of behavior from some people. It comes from experience, not paranoia.

The same reason companies have to have contingency plans for disgruntled employees. Childcare relationships gone sour can get dangerous. Sad, but true. And we have several small children to protect when we worry about disgruntled parents. To mock that worry is in really poor taste.