New DCM Just Shows Up Early at My Door

[Tasha]

Update

She came 10 mins early, which was good because it gave me time to talk to her while no other parents were around. She brought the money she owed me, but she wasn't happy at all because she thought I was really sticking it to her (her words). The experience yesterday cost her $55. She thought since it was her first time being late I'd give her a break! But I warned her yesterday morning, and she still was late, so...
I told her that it was irresponsible and disrespectful just to show up at my door when I didn't approve it ahead of time, and that I should never have - and will never happen again - accept her child under that circumstance. We left at loggerheads because she thinks that daycare providers need to ''work with'' working parents because they need flexibility. I suggested that perhaps what she needed was a nanny. It's very disheartening because I went over all of this during the interview process, and now she acts like she has no idea what I'm talking about. It wasn't a good conversation, and I just feel very yucky right now. I just gotta figure out now if I want to ditch her before she ditches me.

[Tasha]

She didn't see what the big deal was even though you came to the door with wet hair and in a robe? I would not even discuss this with her further, I would terminate immediately, and I never term. That kind of disrespect would not fly with me at all.

Nope. She has a big corporate job and obviously thinks her time is a whole lot more important than mine.

[lovemykidstoo]

She came 10 mins early, which was good because it gave me time to talk to her while no other parents were around. She brought the money she owed me, but she wasn't happy at all because she thought I was really sticking it to her (her words). The experience yesterday cost her $55. She thought since it was her first time being late I'd give her a break! But I warned her yesterday morning, and she still was late, so...
I told her that it was irresponsible and disrespectful just to show up at my door when I didn't approve it ahead of time, and that I should never have - and will never happen again - accept her child under that circumstance. We left at loggerheads because she thinks that daycare providers need to ''work with'' working parents because they need flexibility. I suggested that perhaps what she needed was a nanny. It's very disheartening because I went over all of this during the interview process, and now she acts like she has no idea what I'm talking about. It wasn't a good conversation, and I just feel very yucky right now. I just gotta figure out now if I want to ditch her before she ditches me.

So by "work with" she means do it her way? Maybe if she would have told you ahead of time that she needed to be early, you would have "worked with her". Some people. grrr

[Blackcat31]

She came 10 mins early, which was good because it gave me time to talk to her while no other parents were around. She brought the money she owed me, but she wasn't happy at all because she thought I was really sticking it to her (her words). The experience yesterday cost her $55. She thought since it was her first time being late I'd give her a break! But I warned her yesterday morning, and she still was late, so...
I told her that it was irresponsible and disrespectful just to show up at my door when I didn't approve it ahead of time, and that I should never have - and will never happen again - accept her child under that circumstance. We left at loggerheads because she thinks that daycare providers need to ''work with'' working parents because they need flexibility. I suggested that perhaps what she needed was a nanny. It's very disheartening because I went over all of this during the interview process, and now she acts like she has no idea what I'm talking about. It wasn't a good conversation, and I just feel very yucky right now. I just gotta figure out now if I want to ditch her before she ditches me.

I agree with her....but I won't work for free.

I would tell her she has two options. Schedule AND pay for the time she needs ahead of time so she isn't late or early or continue to pay the fee for non-scheduled over time.

I would explain it to her that way too....she would not provide her employer with free services or clock in with out expecting her paycheck to reflect the work she has done so why is she expecting that from you?

[Blackcat31]

Nope. She has a big corporate job and obviously thinks her time is a whole lot more important than mine.

haha on her.... because YOU can still work with out her but she can't work without you so who's job is more important?!?! ::

[Josiegirl]

haha on her.... because YOU can still work with out her but she can't work without you so who's job is more important?!?! ::

Well, she'll probably find someone else who works for peanuts or else go back to center based care. I'm curious why she left in the first place unless she had no clue how family providers work.
I hate it when 'important' people think others are beneath them. And it's not even big wigs, it could be anyone. One of my pet peeves in life.
I love it when she pretty much placed the blame on you for not working with her. IF she had remembered her so-called appt. and notified you ahead of time, plus paid you a higher rate for the day, the whole thing could have had a much better outcome. But assuming you'd be there, waiting with open arms for her and loving it....well uhuh, ain't gonna happen. Those who treat me with respect will receive the same treatment in kind and those who don't.......

[Tasha]

haha on her.... because YOU can still work with out her but she can't work without you so who's job is more important?!?! ::

That is a GREAT way of looking at it. Thank you, BC!
There is a ton of entitlement with this DCM. In my experience, when a client beseeches you to ''work with'' them, they really mean that I should just shut up and do what they say. I am sure she believed I gouged her for the OT yesterday. The thing is, she would have known how much that 90 mins. would cost if she had asked beforehand. I really treasure my morning time, and I'd rather have the solitude than the money. She's lucky my DH wasn't home, because he'd really, really not like that door-banging.

[Tasha]

Well, she'll probably find someone else who works for peanuts or else go back to center based care. I'm curious why she left in the first place unless she had no clue how family providers work.
I hate it when 'important' people think others are beneath them. And it's not even big wigs, it could be anyone. One of my pet peeves in life.
I love it when she pretty much placed the blame on you for not working with her. IF she had remembered her so-called appt. and notified you ahead of time, plus paid you a higher rate for the day, the whole thing could have had a much better outcome. But assuming you'd be there, waiting with open arms for her and loving it....well uhuh, ain't gonna happen. Those who treat me with respect will receive the same treatment in kind and those who don't.......

You're right. I would have been much more receptive if she had shown me the tiniest bit of humility and/or respect. And I know her DD is going to head that way, too. I love how sweet she was when interviewing, and how her true colors show once she doesn't get her way. How do I get people to show their true colors when interviewing??

[Mom2Two]

Hugs, and I am so sorry. I hate dealing with this crap.

Great comments, everyone! And I love the idea of the forms posted for requesting a schedule change! Brilliant!

I try to have fees in my contract that offset the pain of bad behavior from parents if they get crazy. But there's some behavior that no amount of money can compensate for. And her treating you with that disrespect--I don't know if I could handle that.

[lovemykidstoo]

So she dropped off at 6:30 instead of her normal 8:00. What time does your first child normally come? I don't have kids until 7:30, so i would be blown away if someone showed up at 6:30

[MunchkinWrangler]

I would have shot right back at her that you feel the same way with parents 'working with' you as well. A normal person would assume that if you didn't get a response from someone either they didn't get the message or haven't been able to respond. In this case, she never gave you time to.
I had a mom once take the day off, yay, I could sleep in another hour!! I get a phone call with a vm saying that she needed me to take her kid in 10 min so she could go to a dr appt. Needless to say, I shut my phone off and she never got a response until later when I told her that I could not be available on a whim. She termed a week later, which hurt me financially but I wanted her to know that I was not at her beck and call. And I've written a strict policy on it to avoid this situation in the future.

[Tasha]

So she dropped off at 6:30 instead of her normal 8:00. What time does your first child normally come? I don't have kids until 7:30, so i would be blown away if someone showed up at 6:30

I have a DCB come at 7 am twice a week (and I do this strictly as a favor for my good friend), and this is the argument that DCM chose - that I already had a kid coming early anyway, and what was the big deal about having another one. She really is just geared toward center-based thinking. But, you know, there's still a big difference between 6:30 am and 7 am. And yesterday was not his day to come anyway...But of course she didn't know that, because it's not her business how early anybody else comes.

[lovemykidstoo]

I have a DCB come at 7 am twice a week (and I do this strictly as a favor for my good friend), and this is the argument that DCM chose - that I already had a kid coming early anyway, and what was the big deal about having another one. She really is just geared toward center-based thinking. But, you know, there's still a big difference between 6:30 am and 7 am. And yesterday was not his day to come anyway...But of course she didn't know that, because it's not her business how early anybody else comes.

No I would not have appreciated that at all. So on a day that you're not expecting anyone at all, she shows up at 6:30 instead of 8:00. Outrageous. Even at a center I'm pretty sure they stick to schedules due to staffing. She needs to be put in her place.

[NeedaVaca]

Since you are still within the 2 week trial I would let her go and find someone else that you mesh with better. I think that based on what you have said her attitude will keep rearing it's ugly head and you will continue to have problems with her IMO.

[Tasha]

Since you are still within the 2 week trial I would let her go and find someone else that you mesh with better. I think that based on what you have said her attitude will keep rearing it's ugly head and you will continue to have problems with her IMO.

Omg, if I do this, it will be my second termination in two months. That's terrible.