How Long Should 4 Year Old Nap

[AmandasFCC]

AMEN!!!!!! I am a home Daycare Provider, and I do NOT force naps on those who do not benefit from them. The little ones nap in bedrooms and the bigger ones play quiet games or visit my play yard. Why is that so hard? Why must Providers be so regimented and FORCE naps upon kids? Every kid is different. They have different needs. Providers, of all people, should recognize and respect this. Let the kids be individuals. Yes, there are exceptions. There are kids who will try to refuse, but they really do need one or else they are hellions. I'm speaking of the ones who genuinely do not benefit from a nap, and in fact stay up late because of it. It's not healthy. I so wish Providers would recognize this. As far as your break, I'm sure you have times where kids are playing independently when you can sit down with a cup of tea for 10 minutes. Or when most of them are napping and just your non-nappers are up, I'm sure you can find some time to clean your kitchen. The non-nappers are old enough to play for a time while you get your chores done. I just don't get it, and I never will.

I would love to send non-nappers out into the yard to play but that's against licensing regs here. I have to be on the same floor as sleeping children AT ALL TIMES. That means no going to clean my kitchen for me so I get to do that while the kids eat. And obviously kids can't go outside if I can't directly supervise them.

I'd love to let them play quietly in the playroom while the nappers napped. I've tried. It doesn't work.

I don't think any of us who require a quiet time during the day are "forcing" kids who don't benefit from a nap to nap. We are enforcing a quiet time, where kids need to lay down and rest, NOT necessarily sleep. It is in my licensing regs that I must allow a quiet environment away from any activity for children under 5 to nap for 2 hours.

Please don't jump down everyone's throat because they require a naptime. If you don't, great, that works for you. It's NOT what would work for a lot of us.

If the parents aren't happy with it, they can move along to the next provider who don't have little ones who NEED their sleep.

[Vesta]

This is the song that never ends.......

[fctjc1979]

This is the song that never ends.......

Yes, it goes on and on, my friend.......

[Janet]

Nap

OK, Joyce, it's fine for you to choose to let your kids skip naptime if you'd like, but it's my choice to NOT let them skip their naptime. They don't have to sleep. No one is forced to sleep, they just have to lay quietly. As far as letting kids go outside to play during nap, that is not something that I let even older kids do on their own. I always have my daycare kids in my line of sight and I never let them play outside without supervision. I don't have a single parent complaint regarding naptime policies. I don't have any kids that don't nap at naptime either. By the time naptime rolls around, they are all so tired that they are trying to go down for nap before it's even naptime yet. Also, some states have a required rest time for children under a certain age. My kids that are under 6 years old are required to have a rest time on a daily basis. No exceptions, no special cases.

[Lucy]

Why are you assuming a provider would force a child to nap? I don't provide care to children who don't need a full afternoon nap. I'm not FORCING anyone. As soon as they have outgrown nap time they leave.
The "individuals" and "exceptions" don't attend my day care.

I "recognize" that there are children of ALL ages.. from birth to age five that don't need sleep. I hear that all the time from the parents. I BELIEVE them and I BELIEVE you when you say it. I agree. I just don't provide day care to those kids. See?

I won't accept a ten minute break here and there. I want a full two and a half hour break every day in my twelve hour day. I "need" that. I'm an "individual" and an "exception" that I have to have a break. Why is it that you can understand that a child may need "individual" and "exception" but you don't believe the adult may need the same consideration?

I say "let the providers be individuals".

This wasn't directed at you. Sorry if you thought so. Obviously if the nap issue is covered in your interview and you only accept those who NEED the nap, you are not forcing anything. I feel that some do force it, however. That is based on various comments I have read here over the months. Nobody specific. As to the issue of our breaks, I'm sorry you don't agree, but I just think this is our job and little breaks here and there should be sufficient. Yes, every adult is an individual and therefore has different needs than others, but we are adults and should be able to handle a 10-hr day with several small breaks and downtime. It's just my opinion. Thanks for listening!

[QualiTcare]

This wasn't directed at you. Sorry if you thought so. Obviously if the nap issue is covered in your interview and you only accept those who NEED the nap, you are not forcing anything. I feel that some do force it, however. That is based on various comments I have read here over the months. Nobody specific. As to the issue of our breaks, I'm sorry you don't agree, but I just think this is our job and little breaks here and there should be sufficient. Yes, every adult is an individual and therefore has different needs than others, but we are adults and should be able to handle a 10-hr day with several small breaks and downtime. It's just my opinion. Thanks for listening!

i agree - there are plenty of times for breaks throughout the day. if you were working outside of the home would you be able to do your laundry or clean the kitchen, OR have a 2-2.5 or 3 hour break even if you work 12 hours? NOOO!

i woke up a little boy the other day because he had slept 2.5 hours and skipped breakfast. his mom said i could've let him sleep and i told her i didn't want him staying up all night. parents know when you let them sleep. my son hardly goes to his grandma's anymore cus it's OBVIOUS after he's been to her house - he wants to stay up all night. youre right about there being providers that force naps - and there are ones that get downright mean about it because they think that's their break time. i've always heard that the kids don't have to sleep if they lay quietly, look at a book, etc., but i've never seen it. what i have seen is kids being told to go to sleep and threatened if they don't.

[Unregistered]

response

I have a 4 year old who has to lay on a mat for 1 and a half hours at her preschool/day care center. She can't get her little body to rest/sleep. The teachers reward the resting sleeping children with stickers. So every day my daughter comes home crying thinking she did something wrong because she gets no reward. Every child is different. To force a 4 year old to lay on a mat for that long doing nothing is bizarre to me. Could someone please post the Maryland state regulation that says child care workers must force a child to lay on a mat for 2 hours.

I think I read that regulation at one point and it states that a child care center must offer a nap area and a rest period but it is up to the child if he/she wants to nap or rest. I understand the need for quiet time but please this is crazy the way you think you can force children to sleep or sit still on a mat when their bodies are not able to do so.
Stop and really think about the power struggle you are creating. The feeling of shame you are creating in these children when you are telling them to do this and if they don't something is wrong with them.
You are interrupting the regulation all wrong. This regulation was to support and understand the needs of the child not to give the care giver a break.

Read and reread the regulation with each individual child in mind. Then please, please listen to the parents who knows more about their own child then the person in government that wrote a regulation that is being misused.

"Quite time" is needed for both provider and children being cared for however your child should also be rewarded for being quite during this time also. I agree making every child sleep is a power trip and only creates more exhaughtion for the child and provider. Not allowing other good and rewarded options is sad to see for children whom have outgrown a routine nap.

[Unregistered]

Kuddos!

I am a parent of a 4 year old and to be honest, I am appalled at the comments made by some daycare providers on this message board. Wow. Ms. Sue: "It's not the child with the issue- it's the parents - as usual". How presumptuous and wrong you are. I am a teacher, and we are taught that the parents are the first and most important "teachers" of their children.

My son, even though he does not need a nap would always nap given the opportunity-- placed in a quiet dark room...of course he would. So would I. And this was the case at his in-home daycare. I spoke with the provider, whom he loved, and she was as stubborn as you all, and said all kids must rest for those two hours. Since he was the oldest child at daycare, she was UNWILLING to make an exception for him. And since he regularly fell asleep, she did not listen to me, and ASSUMED that I was WRONG and she was RIGHT.

When he was at home, he never napped and was fine. He would go to bed at a reasonable hour (8:00) and wake up around 7:00. When he would go to daycare and had a nap, he consistently said "I'm not tired! I'm not tired!" at night and would be up until 10:30. This was not due to my LACK of parenting skills or ability. He was TRULY not tired.

Turns out, I pulled him from his daycare which he loved for this VERY reason. He is now at Montessori preschool and flourishing. They do not require a nap and he is doing lovely, on a regular schedule and learning/playing for two extra hours instead of being forced to nap. I am so happy I made this decision.

Parents know best. And if you are unwilling to meet a reasonable request in the best interest of the child then you shouldn't be practicing daycare.

Sounds just like my son, except the preschool/childcare was trying to get my son to nap 3 hours. He is now in Montessori too and loves it. I am finding that good preschool teachers/caregivers are difficult to find.

[FrustratedMommy]

Kicked out of daycare because 3.5 year old wont sleep

Well, it has finally happened. My 3.5 year old (4 in Jan) has been kicked out of her daycare because after 2 hours of laying on her mat, she just can't fall asleep. Are there any subsidized daycares in Aylmer that do not require their children to sleep? I also have an almost 2 year old. I would like to keep them in the same place, but I guess that might be impossible. I am so discouraged right now. I've called one place on magarderie, but there was only 1 available at the moment. She hasn't given us a time limit, but she is getting a 5 month old baby soon, and I am sure she is anxious to be rid of the older child. She really wants to keep the baby of course, since she loves babies. Please let me know if anybody has any space. We are near Champlain Park.

[Unregistered]

Nap

I understand most of you daycare providers need "a break" from the kids, but children should not be taught, raised, like a cookie cutout, I too have a 4 1/2 year old who does fall asleep at her preschool who is allowed to sleep 2 hours and then when we put her in bed at 8:30 every night (with no tv by the way as we don't allow any toys, tv. No stimulants in their room only in their playroom) she will sit in her bed for an hour quietly and just can not fall asleep. When I have her she will sleep for an hour and then she goes to be at 8:30 the minute she hits her head on the pillow. She also wakes up no matter what time she goes to sleep by the way at 7:00 am like clock work.

At this age every pediatrician I have talked to agrees each child is different and should not be treated the same, so just because a daycare provided needs "a break" is not in my book reason to make a child sleep for 2 hours, it is not healthy, there bodies no what they need. To assume it is the parents fault or just because other 4 year olds do it your way, doesn't mean it is right!

[QualiTcare]

i didn't make the kids nap at a certain time - or at all if they didn't want/need to. i only had 4 kids though so i didn't have to run like a "center." i was able to be flexible with meal times and pretty much cater to each child's/parent's individual needs. it was something i wanted to do because i got frustrated when my own children were in daycare and were forced to nap or came home starving. i also didn't go outside if it was too cold because i didn't have to abide by the daycare standards. of course, i charged more than the avg. rate in my area because in order to do this, i couldn't keep as many children, but the parents i had valued the way i operated so it wasn't a problem. if cost is a concern though -you are probably going to be looking into centers where they have a lot of children at one time. when that's the case, they aren't going to fool with one kid who doesn't want to nap. it's usually someone getting paid minimum wage and it's a miracle they even show up.

[Unregistered]

Tell them to get a new provider if they dont like what you do

i run a family daycare and in the state of maryland it is a requirement that the children get a 2 hour nap/rest period. I give all the kids a nap from 12:30-2:30 -ish. I have one parent who told her 4 year old, not to nap at my house anymore. I do not insist that she sleep, but lay down quietly. She is allowed to read books, etc., as long as she is quiet for the other kids. She is the 1st one asleep everyday. She falls asleep within 5 minutes of laying down. Her parents have always allowed her to stay awake at night till 10:30-11:30 from the time she was an infant. Now they think she is staying awake that late because of the nap. I need to add, she is only here part-time, but goes to bed everynight that late. Every child i have ever watched including my own, have taken naps and still go to bed by 8-8:30. I feel that the parents are blaming me and my nap policy for their child not going to bed at night, when i feel it is their lack of dicipline on getting their child on a decent schedule. Any opinions would be appreciated, however, with all the new centers opening around us, i cannot afford to tick people off. In my area, alot of home providers are struggling and i know they can go just about anywhere.

you is doing what you have to run your place i use to work in a daycare and the parents blam you for ever thing they do. Look you have to tell the parent that the rules is that ever child most take a nape ever day or just dont move read a book. Look if they dont like your rules then they need to find a new provider because you dont need know body to be tick off ever time they pick up they kids just dont for get you have feeling just like them. My 3 kids take naps ever day and still going to bed ever night on time that parent just wanted to say some thing because kids can take a nap and still go to bed on time

[amyro]

you is doing what you have to run your place i use to work in a daycare and the parents blam you for ever thing they do. Look you have to tell the parent that the rules is that ever child most take a nape ever day or just dont move read a book. Look if they dont like your rules then they need to find a new provider because you dont need know body to be tick off ever time they pick up they kids just dont for get you have feeling just like them. My 3 kids take naps ever day and still going to bed ever night on time that parent just wanted to say some thing because kids can take a nap and still go to bed on time

Ditto I agree with you on this one

[Unregistered]

Wow as a parent my fears about how childcare providers assume they know more about your child than you do have been confirmed. I have gone rounds and rounds with three daycares insisting that my 4 1/2 year old no longer needs to nap but I am only his mother what do I know. Now before you all say I just don't know how to put my child to bed you should all know on the weekends when he hasn't taken a nap I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM PUTTING MY CHILD TO BED, he is in bed by 8 no problem. His current center has a nap time from 1-3 or when the wake up. 2 hours is way too long and 3 is way too late to be waking up. I honestly would have no problem with a 30 min nap at say noon but anything more than that is excessive. Just because a child will go to sleep doesn't mean they need the sleep. If you put me on a cot and turned off the lights in the middle of the day at my work I would nod off too, and you know what I would be kept up when it was time for me to go to sleep. For those of you that won't wake up a child, shame on you I too have arrived at 4pm to find my child just woken up because he fell asleep at the end of naptime, gosh he must have finally nodded off out of the bordom of expecting a 4 yr old to sit quietly in the dark for 2 hours and "read". I guess those of you that require by contract that you get a 2 hour break in the middle of the day better stick to running your own daycare because no other jobs out there get to take 2 hours off in the middle of theday. Also if you would like to know as a parent what annoys us about daycare workers is that somehow you act like we work for you and we are to do as you say, well I hate to tell you YOU WORK FOR ME FOLLOW THE RULES I HAVE SET FORTH FOR MY CHILD OR I WILL FIRE YOU

[Crystal]

Wow as a parent my fears about how childcare providers assume they know more about your child than you do have been confirmed. I have gone rounds and rounds with three daycares insisting that my 4 1/2 year old no longer needs to nap but I am only his mother what do I know. Now before you all say I just don't know how to put my child to bed you should all know on the weekends when he hasn't taken a nap I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM PUTTING MY CHILD TO BED, he is in bed by 8 no problem. His current center has a nap time from 1-3 or when the wake up. 2 hours is way too long and 3 is way too late to be waking up. I honestly would have no problem with a 30 min nap at say noon but anything more than that is excessive. Just because a child will go to sleep doesn't mean they need the sleep. If you put me on a cot and turned off the lights in the middle of the day at my work I would nod off too, and you know what I would be kept up when it was time for me to go to sleep. For those of you that won't wake up a child, shame on you I too have arrived at 4pm to find my child just woken up because he fell asleep at the end of naptime, gosh he must have finally nodded off out of the bordom of expecting a 4 yr old to sit quietly in the dark for 2 hours and "read". I guess those of you that require by contract that you get a 2 hour break in the middle of the day better stick to running your own daycare because no other jobs out there get to take 2 hours off in the middle of theday. Also if you would like to know as a parent what annoys us about daycare workers is that somehow you act like we work for you and we are to do as you say, well I hate to tell you YOU WORK FOR ME FOLLOW THE RULES I HAVE SET FORTH FOR MY CHILD OR I WILL FIRE YOU

Well, first, let me say, there are providers out there who WILL work with you on your child's schedule. However, YOU need to find the provider who, from the beginning, agrees to not nap your child. Don't wait until he has been there for awhile and then complain about it. I am one of those providers who would be willing to work with a parent on this, but only if I am asked and treated in a respectful manner.

Now, to an extent, I agree that you should be able to make some of the decisions for your child....especially something like sleep schedule, within reason. However, this comment "well I hate to tell you YOU WORK FOR ME FOLLOW THE RULES I HAVE SET FORTH FOR MY CHILD OR I WILL FIRE YOU" Is WAY off base. You are not your providers employer, and you do not have the right to dictate every "rule" that you set forth....that would be completely unreasonable. What if we did this for EVERY parent who walked through our doors? We would go absolutley crazy trying to meet the demands of numerous parents who do not understand the dynamics of group care. We would then end up out of business, because it would drive us to the point of hating our work.

If you want a caregiver for your child that strictly adheres to "the rules that you set forth" then I suggest you find a Nanny who will work in your home. Whom you will also pay taxes for, unemployment insurance for, workers comp for. THEN you are an employer.