How Long Should 4 Year Old Nap

[SilverSabre25]

Well, first, let me say, there are providers out there who WILL work with you on your child's schedule. However, YOU need to find the provider who, from the beginning, agrees to not nap your child. Don't wait until he has been there for awhile and then complain about it. I am one of those providers who would be willing to work with a parent on this, but only if I am asked and treated in a respectful manner.

Now, to an extent, I agree that you should be able to make some of the decisions for your child....especially something like sleep schedule, within reason. However, this comment "well I hate to tell you YOU WORK FOR ME FOLLOW THE RULES I HAVE SET FORTH FOR MY CHILD OR I WILL FIRE YOU" Is WAY off base. You are not your providers employer, and you do not have the right to dictate every "rule" that you set forth....that would be completely unreasonable. What if we did this for EVERY parent who walked through our doors? We would go absolutley crazy trying to meet the demands of numerous parents who do not understand the dynamics of group care. We would then end up out of business, because it would drive us to the point of hating our work.

If you want a caregiver for your child that strictly adheres to "the rules that you set forth" then I suggest you find a Nanny who will work in your home. Whom you will also pay taxes for, unemployment insurance for, workers comp for. THEN you are an employer.

What Crystal said.

Furthermore, most states do have rules stating that all children MUST have a rest period during the day. Even for school agers. Most (all?) states even mandate how long that rest period is to be. In my state, we HAVE to provide that quiet time, but children are NOT required to sleep. Kids that don't sleep (in my care) have other options--books, puzzles, coloring quietly, watching a show (the only TV time we have usually), and possibly other quiet options depending on the age of the child in question. If you don't like the options your center is using, find another one. Centers, on the whole, tend to be a lot more inflexible in their options than, say, a family child care.

We (as a family child care provider) do NOT get a "two hour break" in the middle of the day. During that time, we are eating our own lunch (maybe), cleaning, preparing the afternoon's activities, doing paperwork, lesson and activity planning, cleaning, documenting the morning's activities, cleaning, and maybe, if everyone naps the whole time (which is rare) we have time to catch five minutes to ourselves to kick back and relax.

If you truly want everything in your control, get a nanny. Or stay home with your child yourself.

[schooladmin]

4 year old nap time

Most experts say that a child can definitely do without a nap by age 4. I am an school administrator, who has worked in schools, daycares, and after-school programs and I can safely say that I agree with the experts on this one. Daycare providers and schools are in existence to assist the parent in either care and/or education of the child. I understand that daycare providers need breaks because they usually work at home alone. But mandating that a child must go to sleep is not assisting the parent when they need to get the child to sleep at 8:00pm for at least an 11 hr. sleep period. If you leave a child down for more than an hour of course he will fall asleep eventually but that could be because of pure boredom. I believe that any child after age 4 who is taking more than a 30 nap is being set up for being lazy later in life. So if your child sleeps 11 hrs. at night and then take a 2 hour nap during the day, then you should question that parenting also. Because after all we are training the children to function in the world that we live in. not some make believe world where they can sleep half their lives.

I now send my 4 year old to 5 hr preschool program in town and he complain of having to sleep right after meals he says that it makes him feel bad. Of course these teachers also give rewards for the ones that go to sleep. I cannot see the sense in this program. The school opens at 8:30 and the children start routines at 9:00am. Somewhere between10-12 they have a 45 Min play on the playground and eat lunch and are down for a nap until I pick him up at 2:00pm. And the saddest thing about this program is that there are two teachers per class. Everyday he struggles to go to sleep and he really ends up not going to sleep until 11:00 and he moans and groans the whole time because he wants to do something. And it is even worst if it not his karate or soccer day. My poor baby much rather go to the gym with me in their daycare then to the preschool program. I am thankful I have the flexibility with my work to change my schedule around and work out a better plan for him and so I try to pick him up before nap. This ensures that he is fed, showered and in the bed by 8:00pm without any hassle.

I believe if a child get plenty of exercise and activity during the day, that it does not matter how bad the parenting is at home that child will be down for the count by 7:45 unless his home environment have people hanging from the chandeliers. And I have know cases where this was true.

So Daycare providers please stop forcing sleep time for children 3.5 and 4. Let's start acclimating them to the real world. Change do not happen over night. We as parents and school administrator and their future teachers need your help.

[Unregistered]

Is it common to ot even provide books during the two hour nap?

I find this whole thread fascinating and very relevant to what I'm going through right now. Though I understand the need to require rest in the preschools, my five year old hasn't napped in two years and really needs to have provisions made for him at naptime.

I was horrified to learn that during this two hour required rest time at his preschool, he wasn't even allowed to read books because it apparently caused many of the other kids to want books and therefore disrupted the class. (though, only about 40% of the kids in the class nap). This is a large daycare facility with smaller rooms and 16 kids crammed on the floor and forced to rest for two hours. When I enrolled, I was told there would be accommodations made for those children who do not nap. (Like taking them to quiet room). But they have since stopped that because they don't have the staff to take care of the separate group of kids and still cover lunch and break time.

The school is now agreeing to allowing the non-nappers to have a book after 60 minutes. I still think that is WAY too long. My poor son is beginning to hate school because of this. He's too young to start not wanting to go to school!

I guess I will have no choice but to pull him from this school, which is so sad because I really love their program and convenience in location. Such a frustrating situation.

[squareone]

I find this whole thread fascinating and very relevant to what I'm going through right now. Though I understand the need to require rest in the preschools, my five year old hasn't napped in two years and really needs to have provisions made for him at naptime.

I was horrified to learn that during this two hour required rest time at his preschool, he wasn't even allowed to read books because it apparently caused many of the other kids to want books and therefore disrupted the class. (though, only about 40% of the kids in the class nap). This is a large daycare facility with smaller rooms and 16 kids crammed on the floor and forced to rest for two hours. When I enrolled, I was told there would be accommodations made for those children who do not nap. (Like taking them to quiet room). But they have since stopped that because they don't have the staff to take care of the separate group of kids and still cover lunch and break time.

The school is now agreeing to allowing the non-nappers to have a book after 60 minutes. I still think that is WAY too long. My poor son is beginning to hate school because of this. He's too young to start not wanting to go to school!

I guess I will have no choice but to pull him from this school, which is so sad because I really love their program and convenience in location. Such a frustrating situation.

This is a super old thread but I am going to respond.
First, a 5-year old would not be required to nap at my house. They would be given quiet activities to do at nap time completely away from the younger ones. This would be the case as long as they can play quietly and independently. If this is not the case, then they have to put toys away and read books only. Anyone under 5 though requires a rest period here. I don't have it as a written rule but I do my best to weed out the non-nappers during the interview process. If I find later that a child doesn't nap, they still have to lay and rest. And yes, in my house they might have to lay up to an hour on occasion. Through trial and error I've learned not to let any child up until the last child has fallen asleep. This can take anywhere from 40-min to an hour some days. I do this for the exact reason that you stated - if the others see one kid doing something other than resting - they will ALL want to do it and no one will nap. Toddlers and peschoolers who have not had a nap are not a fun bunch.

Many people/facilities will SAY they make accommodations but won't actually do it. They may want to but can't due to staffing or other concerns. Since your son is 5, I am going to guess that he just missed the cutoff age to start school this year. If you and your son like all the other aspects of this preschool then I would consider staying and dealing with it until he starts kindergarten. It's only a couple more months. If there are other things that you don't like about the preschool then pull him.

[Unregistered]

This is a super old thread but I am going to respond.
First, a 5-year old would not be required to nap at my house. They would be given quiet activities to do at nap time completely away from the younger ones. This would be the case as long as they can play quietly and independently. If this is not the case, then they have to put toys away and read books only. Anyone under 5 though requires a rest period here. I don't have it as a written rule but I do my best to weed out the non-nappers during the interview process. If I find later that a child doesn't nap, they still have to lay and rest. And yes, in my house they might have to lay up to an hour on occasion. Through trial and error I've learned not to let any child up until the last child has fallen asleep. This can take anywhere from 40-min to an hour some days. I do this for the exact reason that you stated - if the others see one kid doing something other than resting - they will ALL want to do it and no one will nap. Toddlers and peschoolers who have not had a nap are not a fun bunch.

Many people/facilities will SAY they make accommodations but won't actually do it. They may want to but can't due to staffing or other concerns. Since your son is 5, I am going to guess that he just missed the cutoff age to start school this year. If you and your son like all the other aspects of this preschool then I would consider staying and dealing with it until he starts kindergarten. It's only a couple more months. If there are other things that you don't like about the preschool then pull him.

Thanks for the response. I'm struggling with the decision to bother changing schools for just a few months and your feedback helps. Yes, he *just* turned five so he starts Kindergarten in the fall. There are little things here and there that trouble me about the pre-school (ie lack of good communication to the parents) but nothing major. And that I feel they told me all the great things they do at the school just to sell me on it, but in reality, it doesn't work well for their business. Therefore the children suffer at naptime to accommodate for the teacher's break time.

And what I struggle with is that here in the Bay Area, CA, there is such a large number of offerings that I know I could easily find something more nurturing for him. But I'm afraid the change for him might not be worth it. But my heart breaks just picturing him starring at the ceiling all that time.

[Unregistered]

nap time is not break time, it is torture to make a none sleeping child lie

Honestly -

I have horrible memories of this as a child myself. It is against state regulations in as many states as I felt like checking - quiet time, yes, making a child who is awake lie down more than 30 minutes - illegal and abusive.

Further-

Break time is when you have an assistant come in and cover - one who is background checked and tested. If you are self employed and don't cover yourself for breaks, that is simply unwise- and you should not punish innocent children or cheat their parents for it.

Cleaning and maintenance and cooking dinner are not what you are being paid for. You are being paid to care for children - those who need a 2 hour nap and those who don't.

[squareone]

Honestly -

I have horrible memories of this as a child myself. It is against state regulations in as many states as I felt like checking - quiet time, yes, making a child who is awake lie down more than 30 minutes - illegal and abusive.

Further-

Break time is when you have an assistant come in and cover - one who is background checked and tested. If you are self employed and don't cover yourself for breaks, that is simply unwise- and you should not punish innocent children or cheat their parents for it.

Cleaning and maintenance and cooking dinner are not what you are being paid for. You are being paid to care for children - those who need a 2 hour nap and those who don't.

Punish children? Cheat their parents? Call it what you want to call it...this is how we do it here. My parents know how I run things here and have no problem with it. At present, all of my dckids are nappers so I am not faced with this issue.

And yes, cleaning and maintenance and cooking dinner IS what I am being paid for. In order for the children that I care for to remain healthy and safe I must clean and sanitize my home. I must do maintanance to keep it in good order and repair so that no one gets hurt. I must cook healthy, balanced dinners that are often served as lunch to the daycare kids the next day.

You should consider registering. I believe that I have seen quite a few of your unregistered posts tonight and it seems you are just stirring the pot.

[skandij]

The issue for me is about depriving books during nap

Well, I registered and I was the one who posted #123 & #125. I fully understand the need for Daycare workers to have their breaks and to take time to catch up. Gosh, as a Mom, I sometimes stick the kids in front of the TV for 30 minutes just to try and do housework too.

My only concern is that my child is left for a full hour (a lot of times it was TWO hours) deprived of any books or activities as to not cause a disruption to any other kids who were either sleeping, or to discourage the non-nappers to chat and play. I just find that a full hour of doing NOTHING is too excessive and not developmentally appropriate. I would ask if there are any adults out there who could stand laying on a floor mat and starring at a ceiling for a full hour. Now imagine what that is like for a four/five year old when time passes so much slower for them.

I know now this school is not the right fit for our family. What's unfortunate is we were told non-nappers would be given quiet activities to do when we enrolled.

[DCMomOf3]

I know now this school is not the right fit for our family. What's unfortunate is we were told non-nappers would be given quiet activities to do when we enrolled.

I am pleased to see you register.

I think if a parent knows the provider's method and agrees to it/with it, there should be no debate. If the caregiver is not doing what you contracted for/agreed too, you have every right to be dissatisfied.

[nannyde]

Well, I registered and I was the one who posted #123 & #125. I fully understand the need for Daycare workers to have their breaks and to take time to catch up. Gosh, as a Mom, I sometimes stick the kids in front of the TV for 30 minutes just to try and do housework too.

My only concern is that my child is left for a full hour (a lot of times it was TWO hours) deprived of any books or activities as to not cause a disruption to any other kids who were either sleeping, or to discourage the non-nappers to chat and play. I just find that a full hour of doing NOTHING is too excessive and not developmentally appropriate. I would ask if there are any adults out there who could stand laying on a floor mat and starring at a ceiling for a full hour. Now imagine what that is like for a four/five year old when time passes so much slower for them.

I know now this school is not the right fit for our family. What's unfortunate is we were told non-nappers would be given quiet activities to do when we enrolled.

Glad to see your register.

Did you consider offering to pay for a staff assistant for him during nap? If you went to the Director and said that you would fully pay for a staff assistant I think you would be met with a hug and a "when do you want to start".

[Unregistered]

Thank you! Finally!

Frustrated Mommy, I feel really horrible that you say this provider "hates" toddlers and is always complaining about your child Maybe your child isn't sleeping because the atmosphere isn't comfortable at all for her? Unless you are exaagerating daycare lady's feelings, I would not want my child anywhere that she is hated, simply because of her age!

I completely agree and kept reading to see who would finally say it. In my opinion it is irresponsible of the parent to put the child in an environment that does not like the child. Period. The provider was direct with the parent about their preference for younger children. Now the parent is complaining that she prefers her 18 month old?! The daycare lady told the parent this fact UP FRONT! The parent is lucky this is the only issue the 3 year old is having. How could you put your child in an environment that does not like her?! This is your kid! Why are parents so desensitized?!

I am a parent and a provider. I have 2 boys, 4 and 2. My 4 year old goes to half day pre-k everyday, comes home at 12, eats lunch and then naps from 1-3. The bedtime routine starts at 7:30 with lights out at 8:15 pm. On the odd day he does not need a nap he reads in bed. No sleep issues. None.

The 3 year olds problem is not napping. The problem is she is forced to endure in an environment where she is not wanted or welcome. Obviously, refusing to nap is her attempt to get the parent's attention. Dear parent, please show your child some love and respect and find a more loving caring situation for her.

[Unregistered]

Funny . . .

well I hate to tell you YOU WORK FOR ME FOLLOW THE RULES I HAVE SET FORTH FOR MY CHILD OR I WILL FIRE YOU[/QUOTE]

Perhaps you are referring to a Nanny? We are not them. In order to make a statement like that you also have to cough up 500 - 800 dollars per week. Not the 140-200 you are paying.

[Unregistered]

It's really quite simple, my house, my policies, my rules.......if they do not work for you this is not the place to enroll your child. I have a home daycare with 5-6 children ages 2-5 who nap from 1-3 daily. They are all asleep within 10 min of laying down and parents have no bedtime issues. Kids need sleep. Bottom line, if the policies set forth by the provider do not work for you, don't enroll. You are no my "boss" and cannot fire me , you can certainly disenroll your child from care but I will not change my policies for any parent. If you cannot find a child care setting that works for you then you need a nanny.

[Unregistered]

my daughter won't nap at daycare

For the last six weeks, my 4 year old daughter has been not taking her nap at daycare. I keep asking the teacher what has changed and I get no answers. She won't even stay on her mat for quiet time. I have tried everything- I send her with books, colors, paper, headphones for music- and she just refuses. Something changed in the classroom and I do not know how to help her. She takes naps on weekends- no arguments or anything. She knows it is quiet time and she lays on her bed and falls asleep withing 20-30 minutes- she has been like that for about 2 years. I do not know what to do about napping at school- the teachers only complain and do not try to get to the root of the problem. She likes going to school, so I do not want to take her out, but something is going on. I have already taken away her activities at night as punishment and if she does nap she gets rewarded. I have tried keeping her up late and waking her up early, but that does not help. I am out of ideas. Last week was spring break and instead of 28 kids in the class, there were 15; so she napped everyday. But now this week, everyone is back and she has not napped or behaved at naptime. Help- I do not know what to do.

[MrDon]

To Nap or Not to Nap

Been a long and drawn out thread. My wife has an in home day care and I telecommute. So yes I am home as well.

The policy here is NAP time ranges from 12:30 ~ 3:00 depending on the daily activities. I have in 11 years only seen 1 child not take a nap. All have gone down without a fuss and gotten up by 3:00.

Problem began when one family moved into a new home, the infant twins had to sleep with the mother & father while the nursery was being put together. The nursery has taken about 3 months to finish. During this time the 3 year old began to wake up in the middle of the at night and join the family in the master bedroom at 3 am.

This habit has been going on for nearly 3 months. The parents are now requesting that the 3 year old NOT NAP so as to sleep through the night.

The child is so tired that he can't stay awake, but the parents are demanding my wife's assistance in keeping the child from his NAP.

Clearly the parent knows best.