How Long Should 4 Year Old Nap

[Meyou]

You call it an "attack" when it is aimed at one of your own, yet there are any number of providers on here saying worse things about the loving parents of the children in their care. Shame on you.

My ip number is of no consequence. I am a visitor to this board who was so disgusted by what I saw that I could not help but comment. CHILDREN ARE INDIVIDUALS WITH INDIVIDUAL NEEDS AND NO ALL CHILDREN NEED TO NAP. It is NOT a sin to let non mallets stay up with you, and it can be very pleasant to have older children stay up to help ou or visi with you.

You are all entitled to your opinions. So am I.

I do not like the mind-set on this board and I will not be back. I do, however, want to make it plain to the parents out there that we are not ALL of this selfish, narrow mind-set.

You do realize that Nannyde runs a very specific program and her parents are fully aware of her policies? And that they still chose to use her services? And that she has glowing recommendations? YOU don't have to agree with it because the families that she cares for do.

There is something to be said by the fact you chose to hide in anonymity while Nannyde lets this forum have full access to her website and real life person.

I don't take kids that watch tv or eat processed foods. I don't want them here and I weed them out during the interview process. You could say I discriminate against treehouse and Mcd's junkies. How does that measure up to your standards?

[Blackcat31]

Are you a provider or an angry parent? Just wondering- it doesn't sound like you are a provider, because you have no clue that you cannot accommodate 6 different children's individual schedules in group care. Some states mandate 2 hours of naptime/ quiet rest-time- we are not going to break the law because YOU want us to. Sorry.

I know that some of my daycare kids go to sleep at 10 or 11 pm because THE PARENTS TELL ME.

Some parents "NEVER GET IT" about a lot of things. It isn't you versus us, it's that we tell you things over and over and you don't listen or care. Don't bring your sick child to daycare. Pay on time. Pick up on time. Bring more food when your child is out. We usually don't fault the parents IF we have not talked to them first: the parents who dont get it are the ones whom we have to consistently tell THE SAME THINGS TO over and over. PS: A lot of my daycare kids call me ma-ma. I keep telling them my name over and over, but they prefer to call me ma-ma. I feel sad for their real mothers and am embarassed when they call me that in front of them, but the fact is that I spend more time with your child than you do.

Maybe it isn't so bad if your child stays up an hour later at night so you can give them some attention?

Uhhhh, and what about posting on this forum when the kids are napping? Should we post on it when they are outside or free play or somethng else? Maybe we should post on it while they are running with scissors... seriously? What we do during naptime isnt your business.

I am not a self-righteous provider. I love the kids. I love my families. We have open communication, and are all on the same page about a lot of things. I hate it when people post to this, and sorry, a lot of the time it is jaded parents, and criticize what we do. Most of us work at least 50 hours a week minumim- if 10 of those hours are mandated naptimes for your child- so be it.

Would you wake up your child from a nap on the weekends so they go to sleep earlier if you knew they had a big day and were exhausted and needed the sleep?

And for the person who posted about NannyDe- I am relatively new to this forum and I don't know you or NannyDe, but this is a daycare provider's forum, and she is a provider with a lot of good advice. You do not have to judge or like everything she does, but who the heck are you to criticize someone like that?

So sick of all of these jerks who are coming on this site lately.
Oh- I'm a registered user too

I wouldn't go so far as to call anyone a jerk, but I too, am really tired of all the posters (members and non members alike ) who come on this forum and try to stir things up.....

Some people need to find something better to do with their time

[Breezy]

I let my dcg nap for 4 hours this morning


Why? Because he dad asked me to because she had an awful night.

[SilverSabre25]

I was thinking Tune in Tomorrow for "Another Cowardly "unregistered" Nannyde Attack".....

Mods, can you see that IP address?

Nan is the ONLY one here with CLIENTS who adore her on this board.....

Yes we can and it's not one that's been causing any issues. It's a new one to me.

We're watching the one causing issues. Pretty carefully actually.

[nannyde]

These children are our first priorities and if you people are not able to see their individual needs then you need to find another profession.

Or you could stay in the profession and just care for the kids who have the "individual need" of a full afternoon nap.

[C'est la vie.]

For the parents who's children don't "need" a nap. My 4.5 year old doesn't need a nap at home either. THATS AT HOME. At daycare she's miserable and antisocial and learns NOTHING without a rest period.
Yes she does go to bed later, but it's better than having everyone in her class dislike her becuase she's absolutely miserable from 12:00 - 5:30 every day.

In my opinion children that will nap and aren't allowed to are in a way being set up by their parents to FAIL in the afternoons. Their daycare afternoons are often fraught with constant fights, alienation by other kids, and break downs and grumpiness. NOT what I want my child to go through for 5 hours a day.

My child can be grumpy at home with me in the afternoons when she doesn't nap at home. That's not accepeptable at daycare I don't want her be friendless at daycare because she's miserable and picking fights and half brain dead from exhaustion just so she can fall asleep with zero assistance at 8 every night. Lets make it even better by not letting all the other kids not sleep too, 16 miserable children. Recipe. For. Disaster. It's not about an early bedtime, it's about her time at daycare being productive. Her daycare time is for her. It's my job to make her care providers day easier, not them make my job as a parent easy.

Rest sets children up for success. In my book that's more important than a hassle free bedtime.

[REWALKER04]

when my child went to a center naptime or rest was a mandatory thing so its not just inhome daycares that want your child to take a nap. I would be very suprised if you found a center either that said any child did not have to at least have a rest time!Yes even centers take breaks or did you think the providers just wear diapers and eat there lunch while your kids watched them? So I dont think nap times are much different at a center verses inhome!

[Cat Herder]

Yes we can and it's not one that's been causing any issues. It's a new one to me.

We're watching the one causing issues. Pretty carefully actually.

Ok..... Thank you lovethis

My apologies, new unregistered... You are entitled to your opinions. I simply disagree with you. I know Nans heart is devoted to the kids in her care.....and her clients adore her. I am proud to call her a friend. Taking her words out of context will never change that.

I honestly thought you were the same unregistered who has been stirring the pot and creating a bit of chaos in several threads.

I am sorry for being ugly to you.

[MyAngels]

For the parents who's children don't "need" a nap. My 4.5 year old doesn't need a nap at home either. THATS AT HOME. At daycare she's miserable and antisocial and learns NOTHING without a rest period.
Yes she does go to bed later, but it's better than having everyone in her class dislike her becuase she's absolutely miserable from 12:00 - 5:30 every day.

In my opinion children that will nap and aren't allowed to are in a way being set up by their parents to FAIL in the afternoons. Their daycare afternoons are often fraught with constant fights, alienation by other kids, and break downs and grumpiness. NOT what I want my child to go through for 5 hours a day.

My child can be grumpy at home with me in the afternoons when she doesn't nap at home. That's not accepeptable at daycare I don't want her be friendless at daycare because she's miserable and picking fights and half brain dead from exhaustion just so she can fall asleep with zero assistance at 8 every night. Lets make it even better by not letting all the other kids not sleep too, 16 miserable children. Recipe. For. Disaster. It's not about an early bedtime, it's about her time at daycare being productive. Her daycare time is for her. It's my job to make her care providers day easier, not them make my job as a parent easy.

Rest sets children up for success. In my book that's more important than a hassle free bedtime.

- excellent point!

[FrustratedMommy]

Update - Story of a non napping child

I posted my story here a while ago and just wanted to to update on the situation. My child stopped napping at 3.5. Her provider (subsidized in Quebec) kicked her out when she was 4, but kept her younger sister. She would lay on the mat quietly for 2 hours as long as the provider was in the room, but then after two hours of laying quietly, the provider would leave the room. Then my little girl would wake the other kids. The provider complained my little girl would stare at her the entire time she was in the room. She took this for defiance. I tried talking to my daughter, about the importance of her nap, punishing her if she doesn't nap, and a whole slew of other things to back up the daycare provider. For the first few months she would take a long nap at home with no issue, so I didn't know why she didn't sleep at daycare. She always went to bed at 8 with no issues, so I was not opposed to her napping. I agreed with the daycare provider that she should nap. After she stopped napping at home also I started to realize that she really just didn't need a nap. I tried to provide strategies for her to be up. The daycare lady was opposed to her being downstairs watching TV as this is her space. We tried books and things, but the daycare lady was not really receptive and said she couldn't have a book on her mat because she would "rustle" and wake the other kids.

At the time we were forcing her to nap, her behavior deteriorated. Punishments meant nothing to her because she was being punished so much for not napping, which was something she couldn't control. She began acting out. Finally the dreaded day came and she was kicked out of this daycare.

We searched for another and were upfront about the fact that she doesn't nap. We found another subsidized place that said they could handle it because she had an assistant. She said she would take her upstairs and let her watch TV. This worked for months, then the other kids started complaining because they wanted to watch TV too. Then my daughter had to color quietly for 2 hours at the kitchen table without moving. There was no interaction from the daycare lady as this was her break. My daughter would "wiggle in her chair to make it squeak" or "tap the table leg" in an effort to discreetly wake the other kids because she was terribly bored. Eventually she got kicked out. She was also openly defiant a few times due to the fact that we had punished her for napping while she was at the previous daycare. The lady told me she was so bad she needed to go to a special school for disturbed kids.

I was terrified. I took her to a child psychologist to have her evaluated. The child psychologist said she is perfectly fine. We just punished her for not napping which she can't control, and now punishment has no meaning and she sees us as mean and unfair. She told us to let her be up.

We found a private daycare, again being upfront about how our child doesn't nap. The new lady had a daughter the same age who didn't nap plus a child almost ready for school who didn't nap. She had two babies who did nap. The older kid watched TV or played quiet activities during nap time. My daughter was not alone. Finally after months of rebuilding trust with our daughter and having this wonderful provider who she looked forward to visiting her behavior improved dramatically. She started Montessori preschool in September and has had glowing reviews. The teacher says she is super smart, integrates very well, has tons of friends and she mentors the slower children. There is a small rest period, but they have to be quiet for 1/2 hour and then the awake children can go outside to play. She is not the only one. Now she knows that she is not a bad child, she just doesn't sleep at nap time like a lot of other kids.

Moral of this long story. Don't make your child nap if she doesn't need to. Not all kids require a nap. If your daycare is forcing your child to nap, change daycares. It is worth it, even if you have to pay more. They may be great daycares, and your child may love it there, but it is not good for her. My youngest is still with the first lady who kicked out my second. She is very happy there. It is very difficult for me to pick up my kids at two different places. It wastes an hour of my day that could be spent playing with my kids, but keeping her there was more damaging to her and it was not worth it. It is not fair, but that is life and you have to accept it. The daycares that do not want kids who don't sleep, will resent your child and this will affect your child. Even if they make half hearted attempts to accommodate you, even if they are loving and kind and warm hearted, for whatever reason, be it they think kids need nap time, or they think they need a break, if your child doesn't sleep, they will resent her and it will affect her. That is my experience. I hope it helps somebody.

[Greenplasticwateringcans]

I honestly do not understand the fury.

If you do not like a policy at a daycare don't sign up there.

If you find out a daycare policy is not what you want for your child then switch providers.


It really is that simple.

[FrustratedMommy]

I honestly do not understand the fury.

If you do not like a policy at a daycare don't sign up there.

If you find out a daycare policy is not what you want for your child then switch providers.


It really is that simple.

I wonder Greenplasticwateringcans, if you have ever had to try and find a daycare that accepts kids who are awake.

When I was on maternity leave, I read all about choosing a daycare, what questions to ask, what to look for. When I conceived my first child, I put my name on all the center's in my area. I got called back for one of them when my child was six months old and was offered a spot. I accepted the spot gave them a void check, signed the contract, jumped through all the hoops, then was called back to say a sibling who has priority over outside children took the spot but I was first on the waitlist. I got called back 4 years later after I had already paid for the preschool for my daughter. None of the other centers called. They all had 2-5 year waitlists.

When I started looking for an in home daycare. The first few I asked the questions, then was told she had 20 kids lined up for the spot and she would get back to me after she was finished all her interviews. We did not get the spot. I asked too many questions I think. Eventually I changed my approach to look like an accommodating mother and found a spot. Then tried to hold on to it, but alas you have my story.

In the second daycare, I was upfront about my needs, she agreed to meet them, then kicked my child out because she got tired of meeting them.

Do you really think it is a good idea to switch providers every time there is a policy that you don't like? How do you think your child feels to be bounced from daycare to daycare? My child developed a fear of rejection due to getting kicked out of two daycares. That is partially my fault, as I tried to back up the daycare lady rather than just switching her when she started to complain, but every daycare I have ever had my child in has complained about something. One daycare complained if my child's poop was less than solid, not taking into consideration if you left her sitting in a poopy diaper, the poop then gets smooshed and it looks less than solid. She prefered my child to cry during bowel movements due to constipation. I did move her from that place. I think every time you change your child's daycare, it is hard on the child. The child makes friends, the child gets comfortable. Changing every few months is not good for the child. So you try to make things work and hope that the solution will remedy itself. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.

The fury is because this is our children at stake, and every mother is emotional about her baby. Every working mother wants a safe place for her child where she will be loved and cared for and treated as an individual. When that is not available, what do you do? Quit your job, uproot your family, sell your house, move to a scummy neighborhood and hope your child doesn't get into trouble like the neighborhood kids, but just for another couple of years until they are in school. Of course then you can't afford a house in your old neighborhood, you can't find a new job in this economy and your child is now stuck going to school with bad influences. That doesn't really sound like a good solution to me. Every working mother has guilt about going to work and not being with their child more, but we want to provide the best possible life. Plus, I want my kid to have friends when she starts school and know how to socialize so she won't get teased like I did. I had a stay at home Mom and had no idea what to do with other kids.

[Greenplasticwateringcans]

I wonder Greenplasticwateringcans, if you have ever had to try and find a daycare that accepts kids who are awake.

When I was on maternity leave, I read all about choosing a daycare, what questions to ask, what to look for. When I conceived my first child, I put my name on all the center's in my area. I got called back for one of them when my child was six months old and was offered a spot. I accepted the spot gave them a void check, signed the contract, jumped through all the hoops, then was called back to say a sibling who has priority over outside children took the spot but I was first on the waitlist. I got called back 4 years later after I had already paid for the preschool for my daughter. None of the other centers called. They all had 2-5 year waitlists.

When I started looking for an in home daycare. The first few I asked the questions, then was told she had 20 kids lined up for the spot and she would get back to me after she was finished all her interviews. We did not get the spot. I asked too many questions I think. Eventually I changed my approach to look like an accommodating mother and found a spot. Then tried to hold on to it, but alas you have my story.

In the second daycare, I was upfront about my needs, she agreed to meet them, then kicked my child out because she got tired of meeting them.

Do you really think it is a good idea to switch providers every time there is a policy that you don't like? How do you think your child feels to be bounced from daycare to daycare? My child developed a fear of rejection due to getting kicked out of two daycares. That is partially my fault, as I tried to back up the daycare lady rather than just switching her when she started to complain, but every daycare I have ever had my child in has complained about something. One daycare complained if my child's poop was less than solid, not taking into consideration if you left her sitting in a poopy diaper, the poop then gets smooshed and it looks less than solid. She prefered my child to cry during bowel movements due to constipation. I did move her from that place. I think every time you change your child's daycare, it is hard on the child. The child makes friends, the child gets comfortable. Changing every few months is not good for the child. So you try to make things work and hope that the solution will remedy itself. Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.

The fury is because this is our children at stake, and every mother is emotional about her baby. Every working mother wants a safe place for her child where she will be loved and cared for and treated as an individual. When that is not available, what do you do? Quit your job, uproot your family, sell your house, move to a scummy neighborhood and hope your child doesn't get into trouble like the neighborhood kids, but just for another couple of years until they are in school. Of course then you can't afford a house in your old neighborhood, you can't find a new job in this economy and your child is now stuck going to school with bad influences. That doesn't really sound like a good solution to me. Every working mother has guilt about going to work and not being with their child more, but we want to provide the best possible life. Plus, I want my kid to have friends when she starts school and know how to socialize so she won't get teased like I did. I had a stay at home Mom and had no idea what to do with other kids.

I hear your frustration and truley feel for you.

A few years ago when I wanted to take a break from child care I did put my children in a no napping daycare.

I ended up pulling them out because they were being hurt (talk about mommy guilt!) and doing daycare at home again.

My program is no required naps because it's what works for me. I only have one that naps right now. However, my policies and the policies of other daycare providers are not usually negotiable. I provide a service and if someone isn't happy with what I provide then they can seek daycare services else were. I won't budge because I have the right, as the owner of my buisness, to create a work environment that works for me.

Yes, I really think it is better to pull a child out from care that is harmful to your child even if it is quite frequently and costly.

[christinaskids]

My kids ALL lay down, even the schoolagers in the summer are they usually sleep the hardest! The kids that are 4 take a nap most days except one little girl and she is quiet during that time. I have a lot of very young children that absolutely need a nap so it is imperative to not wake them up. The children all know what is expected of them so they do not even question it. My dc families all know how hectic my job is and just appreciate me taking good care of their kids so they dont bother complaining about nap and in fact act disappointed if their child arrived too late for nap or didnt fall asleep. At four, if you do not like how a home daycare operates, it would be best to switch to a fulltime preschool or montessori program.

[FrustratedMommy]

My kids ALL lay down, even the schoolagers in the summer are they usually sleep the hardest! The kids that are 4 take a nap most days except one little girl and she is quiet during that time. I have a lot of very young children that absolutely need a nap so it is imperative to not wake them up. The children all know what is expected of them so they do not even question it. My dc families all know how hectic my job is and just appreciate me taking good care of their kids so they dont bother complaining about nap and in fact act disappointed if their child arrived too late for nap or didnt fall asleep. At four, if you do not like how a home daycare operates, it would be best to switch to a fulltime preschool or montessori program.

Yes, I did switch to a Montessori preschool, but since my daughter was born in January and schools require that your child is 4 on September 30, she was 4 for 9 months before she was allowed to go to preschool. We went through 3 daycares in that time.

The first daycare did not mention a napping policy, but since my daughter napped when she started there, I had no idea it would be an issue. The second daycare said she could handle it, but then decided she didn't want to anymore. We were upfront about our needs. The third was amazing, and we were sad to leave but my daughter is quite bright and I thought she would get a lot out of the stimulation provided at preschool.

They do offer a public preschool here, but the school itself, and the psychologist said it is for children with special needs, meaning poor pronunciation, or vulgar or aggressive children. They both indicated that my daughter would just pick up bad behavior if she went there. That is why we paid for Montessori, even though it is killing us financially. She will finally get into public kindergarten this September.