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I run a family daycare and in the state of Maryland it is a requirement that the children get a 2 hour nap/rest period. I give all the kids a nap from 12:30-2:30 -ish. I have one parent who told her 4 year old, not to nap at my house anymore. I do not insist that she sleep, but lay down quietly. She is allowed to read books, etc., as long as she is quiet for the other kids. She is the 1st one asleep everyday. She falls asleep within 5 minutes of laying down. Her parents have always allowed her to stay awake at night till 10:30-11:30 from the time she was an infant. Now they think she is staying awake that late because of the nap. I need to add, she is only here part-time, but goes to bed everynight that late. Every child I have ever watched including my own, have taken naps and still go to bed by 8-8:30. I feel that the parents are blaming me and my nap policy for their child not going to bed at night, when I feel it is their lack of dicipline on getting their child on a decent schedule. Any opinions would be appreciated, however, with all the new centers opening around us, I cannot afford to tick people off. In my area, alot of home providers are struggling and I know they can go just about anywhere.
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ALL of the children i keep have naptime. ALL of them. Its in the contract and that is my "break" time(if you want to call it that). I too tell the parents that we have a 2 hour quiet time regardless of if your child sleeps or not. Period! Now if these parents were to take them to a larger center they would have to have quiet time also. I had a parent one time tell me that she doesn't use sippy cups at home (her kids were 1 and 4 at the time) and that the only time they are allowed to drink is when they are sitting at the table. I told her that they will be using sippy cups while at my house cause i don't want it on the carpet or furniture. Her rebuttlle......well if there sitting at the table they won't get it every where. Ok that just ticked me off........My response was i don't make the children sit at the table everytime they need a drink and that all the kids in my care WILL be using sippy cups including yours. That parent brings a regular cup every morning an that cup gets dumped out into a sippy cup! So i guess what my point is that if the child is sleeping at your house then let her sleep cause she is not getting the proper sleep at home. And i would just stand your ground on this. Just a word of advice.........Don't ever ever portray yourself as a push over cause they WILL push you over and over and over. Stand your ground, your house, your rules!! -
you don't need advice - you got it
haa!! You hit it perfect. It's not the child with the issue - it's the parents - as usual. Most 4 year olds still need to take a nap - especially if their parents are allowing them to stay up late....
Let the child sleep --- tell them the truth - "don't let her stay up all night - be the parent and put her to bed!!!!!!!!!"
Dont back down on what you believe - and put the responsibility BACK ON THE PARENTS!
I've been through is 100's of time too! But, I tell them like it is - you need to be the parent and put your child to bed (their bed) not the parents either!
And, I explain - if they can't control a 4 year old - then they might as well forget it when the child is about 15 years old!
(i'm originally from maryland too - live in PA now)Comment
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Stand your Ground
First of all What are you supposed to do torture the child to stay awake?
Secondly if it is a required nap by the state then case closed, if it is your policy stand fast, don't give, Give a little here give a little there and pretty soon the inmates are running the asylum so to speak.
Third if the child falls asleep that fast at nap time they obviously need the rest, Kids don't sleep unless they need it!
Lastly the Parents need to be parent's as was said and set the times the child goes to bed. What are they feeding them pure sugar
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Quiet time is good for them
At our centers we too have "quiet time". It is healthy for them to take a nap but some don't. I try to explain to the parents that it is part of regulations but it is also discipline in preparing for Kindergarten because they are required to follow instructions and be able to control talking when told too. Our policy is that they have to lay quietly on the cot for the first 30 minutes and after that they are allowed to get a book for on their cot. If they still don't fall asleep after another 30 minutes we give them papers to do quietly at the table. (coloring page, tracing name, counting) Mostly learning papers.
We had a parent that allowed the child to stay up as late as she wanted to. The child had a TV in her room. When she came in at 6 am she would sleep till snack time and then was the first to fall off to sleep at quiet time. We gradually started to wake her a bit earlier each time. A bit earlier than snack time, and then instead of 3 pm... we would wake her soon... and try to have her the last to lay down. Eventually she did start to fall off to sleep at home a bit earlier. But without cooperation from the parent at home it is going to be difficult.
To discuss it with the parent I just got into a general conversation and told her how tired the child always was and made it more a "POOR MOM" issue... they respond to giving them sympathy.. and said .. I am sure it must be hard to get her to sleep at night... I don't envy you with school coming... she will be hard to get up for you... what every we can do to help... and let her know that you are going to allow her to nap but attempt to shorten it more and more in hopes that she will fall off to sleep at home earlier for her so MOM GETS SOME DOWN TIME... got to make it sound as though you are working with her .... and you feel empathy for her working so hard and caring for kids... give her pats on the back while giving her sympahy. They eat it up.Comment
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Thanks for all the comments. Just another bit of info here. She has been sleeping in her parents bed since birth and just about a month ago, they tried to get her in her own room. Needless to say, the child told me on Monday, that her mom just moved her bed into her parents room. I am just going to do as I always have and have her take a nap with the other kids. She very clearly runs her household, but I will not allow her to run my daycare. I do need that break every day, and actually look forward to catching up on the laundry and cleaning at nap time. It is the only way, I can get my own chores done.Comment
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My daughter turned 4 in Oct. and she takes a nap almost everyday. After lunch she ususally says she's tired. sometimes she only naps for 30 mins and other times she's out for 2-3 hours and yes, she still goes to bed by 8:30.Comment
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
Hi,
I am a provider. I get that problem ocassionally with a parent complaining that their child won't go to sleep. If you try doing a vigorous activity at 10:30 or 10:45 (outdoor play, a game), then a quiet activity at 11:00 (coloring, books, free play, childrens show) (so you can prepare lunch), have lunch at 11:30 and naptime at 12:00, it does make a difference in when the children fall asleep for the parents.
Games they love that tire them out, but are safe
Have them start at one end of a hall or room and you tell them to be something you name (dog, cat, snake, baby, tree, etc...). You or an older child show them how to be it. They go from start to finish and back to start for each one.
Dancing with big balloons - they bounce and stick, they love it and relay races
Have a great dayComment
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Daycare Naptime
I am a parent who is concerned with the amount of time that my is in napping at daycare. I picked her up early the other day, 4:00 p.m., and she had just awoke about 15 minutes before my arrival and they went down for nap at 12:30. I think that is excessive. I put her to bed by eight everday and she struggles to fall to sleep. Most times she tosses and turns in bed for two hours before she actually falls to sleep. What can I do to address this issue?Comment
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I too have children that will sleep till 4. But they didn't fall asleep till 2:30 or so. So, my point is, maybe she didn't fall asleep till towards the end of nap time, and I WON"T wake a sleeping child unless it is getting close to pick up time. At age 4, taking a 2/3 hour nap is common at my house. These kids get up early in the morning and their days are very busy.
As far as your child not wanting to go to bed at night. It has nothing to do with the nap at childcare, I would say it has more to do with how it is simply done at home. Kids have a way to get what they want at home.
I too have went thru the "Please don't let them sleep for more than 1 hour" because they won't go to sleep at home. Hmm, take out the tv and dvd player from their bedroom. Put them to bed at a descent time, shut out the light, and discipline them when they disobey. This is what is frustrating, the provider gets the blame for a child not wanting to sleep, yet the parent lets the kid lay in bed and watch tv.....this was the situation with me.
I have a kindergartener in my care, goes in the morning, and he gets back at 12:30, eats, and takes a 1 1/2 to 2 hour nap everyday. His days are very busy. I also have a first grader in my care, no school days, she lays down also, her choice to look at books or do something queitly, and 99% of the time she rolls over and goes to sleep.Comment
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I recently implemented mandatory nap/rest time (like 2-3 weeks ago) in my home daycare. The 4 year old in my care USED to lie down nicely, I would rub his back just like every one else's and he would fall asleep for usually about half an hour to an hour. On Wednesday he suddenly decided he's going to SCREAM and cry for Mommy at quiet time. I don't know where it came from. I've told him every day, you don't have to sleep, you just have to lie down quietly and until Wednesday, it's been no problem, he's been good. I don't know what the change was - other than on Wednesday when his mom picked him up she told me she'd prefer him not to nap because apparently he had a really hard time going to bed - and I noticed too that all of a sudden when he was napping the next day he'd start talking about nightmares he'd been having. Weird, right? He screamed again at naptime yesterday. I was advised by a friend of mine who's worked in centres for over 6 years to try telling him if he needs to cry, to cry into a pillow (because he's clearly doing it just to be disruptive), and he would put his chin on the pillow and scream out of it even louder. I don't know where this came from! But yesterday after he screamed for 10 minutes and woke everyone up, I finally said "If you lie quietly until (the other child) goes to sleep, we can do a craft after" and instantly he smiled and shut up. It's strange - this kid is usually VERY agreeable. He usually cries when Mom first drops him off (actually that's even been minimal the last couple weeks) and he can clearly see from other kids that I'm not one to cater to whining and things like that - I had a 3 year old who was VERY "strong willed" about potty training, meal times, shoes, etc. and I would actually sit there with him for 45 minutes until he'd use his words to say "I'm finished eating" or put his shoes on or whatever, when I had someone else here to take the other kids out to play or whatever. I don't give into ploys for attention.
Sorry to put this in your thread - I don't have any advice, just needed to share this bizarre behaviour...Comment
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question for amanda
have you just simply told him, when you yell at nap you will get no craft time. Period. Hes 4, not a baby. He seems smart. Be straight with him. when he arrives say Little Billy, if you scream at my home you will have to lose an activity. If your quiet, you get the activity.
Make it story time or playdough time or whatever,... something that happens BEFORE nap remind him the first day during the activity that if he screams he will not do the activity the next day. If he does scream,.... the next day say,.. Billy, you dont get to play (the activity) today because of your behavior yesterday. Im sorry but you chose to throw a fit, you need to go sit while we do the activity. Then when you lay them down say ,.. Billy,.. if you scream today you will not do the activity tomorrow. It will be fresh in his mind that he missed out because of his behavior. I bet it will take one day,.. possibly two to fix this issue. If it doesnt work the first day pick something really fun to exclude him from. And if anyone wants to flame me go ahead. Thats how it works here,.. You behave and get fun things,.. You misbehave and you dont. Amazingly,.. the kids behave,.. listen and after a time or two missing a fun thing,.. they magically "get it". My opinion,.. you dont give a tantrum a reward. and any attention is attention even if its to say,.. hush, be quiet,.. stop yelling,.. Bad behavior is ignored,..Ignored behavior is not being re-enforced. the bad behavior that gets no attention is no longer getting them attention so its not worth the effort. They see that good behavior is rewarded with fun things,... the world keeps spinning and everyone is friends.Comment
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That was my plan for today, thanks We had a little chat right before we did the craft yesterday, where I said "When you scream and cry like that it's really hard for the other kids who need their naps to get to sleep. I don't mind doing crafts with you at quiet time, but you have to lie down quietly while they get to sleep first". He agreed, we shook on it (his idea ) then he was really quiet and perfectly nice the rest of the day. I don't expect to have this problem again, but I'm going to remind him at nap time today when we talked about.
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napping
I am a childcare provider and in my daycare i try to have quiet time from 12:30/1pm till 2:30/3pm. I do not let the children nap after 3pm simply because if the parents cant get them to sleep at home because i allowed them to sleep to late into the afternoon then guess who would have to deal with the child being cranky the next morning?Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
What does your provider have in her policy book about nap time? Does she state the hours? I would check that out first then simply let her know that although you understand the policy on the children having quiet time and have no issue with it you do have a problem with the amount of time she's sleeping and how long in the afternoon she's allowed to stay asleep, ask if the provider can make sure that she doesnt sleep past a certain time and explain to her that you do put your child to bed at a decent time (8pm) and the long late naps are making her bedtime difficult. Good LuckComment
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thats great Amanda! I think alot of times ,.. they are alot more mature than any of us realize. ((())) good thoughts for you today.Comment
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