How Long Should 4 Year Old Nap

[Unregistered]

I am very surprised to hear daycare providers speak this way in a public forum.

I am the parent of a 3 1/2 yr old who does not need a nap. On weekends, she is quite happy and content, goes to bed at 8-8:30pm tops, getting up at the same time as we would on weekdays when we go to daycare, 7:30am ish.

Yet on weeknights, I cannot get her to sleep. This is not a question of discipline, as I have no issue on the weekends when she does not take a nap. The only difference is the daycare nap of approx 2 hours. She usually falls asleep around 10:30 - 11pm. Almost exactly 2 hours later...see the link!

I find your comments on parents to be generalizations that are not helpful to parents and children. Some children may need a nap while others do not...you shoudl be able to adapt your practices to these facts.

[momofboys]

I have a 4 year old in my care pt & also a 3 year old. The 4 year old naps 1.5-2 hrs a day & the 3 year old naps maybe 1-2 x a week. I don't force her to take a nap but parents encourage it. We just do quiet time for an hour. I think if the child doesn't need to nap that is fine but the provider does need at least a 30 min "break" to go to the bathroom & sit & eat. I don't see a problem with rest time per se or doing quiet activities so long as the child doesn't disrupt sleeping children. I literally do not sit down for more than 5 min when I have kids in my care so I truly need some quiet time.

[Unregistered]

Thank You

I am a parent of a 4 year old and to be honest, I am appalled at the comments made by some daycare providers on this message board. Wow. Ms. Sue: "It's not the child with the issue- it's the parents - as usual". How presumptuous and wrong you are. I am a teacher, and we are taught that the parents are the first and most important "teachers" of their children.

My son, even though he does not need a nap would always nap given the opportunity-- placed in a quiet dark room...of course he would. So would I. And this was the case at his in-home daycare. I spoke with the provider, whom he loved, and she was as stubborn as you all, and said all kids must rest for those two hours. Since he was the oldest child at daycare, she was UNWILLING to make an exception for him. And since he regularly fell asleep, she did not listen to me, and ASSUMED that I was WRONG and she was RIGHT.

When he was at home, he never napped and was fine. He would go to bed at a reasonable hour (8:00) and wake up around 7:00. When he would go to daycare and had a nap, he consistently said "I'm not tired! I'm not tired!" at night and would be up until 10:30. This was not due to my LACK of parenting skills or ability. He was TRULY not tired.

Turns out, I pulled him from his daycare which he loved for this VERY reason. He is now at Montessori preschool and flourishing. They do not require a nap and he is doing lovely, on a regular schedule and learning/playing for two extra hours instead of being forced to nap. I am so happy I made this decision.

Parents know best. And if you are unwilling to meet a reasonable request in the best interest of the child then you shouldn't be practicing daycare.

Thank you for this post. I too have a 4 year old at daycare. We too are having the same issues. I am appalled as well. It is hard enough leaving your children and now after reading all the comments of daycare providers it makes it even harder...thanks.

[melissa ann]

I don't require the kids to sleep. But they all must lay down and rest. I close the blinds and put on a celine dion lullaby cd. I have kids from 11 months-5 yrs. My daughter being the oldest. She knows that after lunch everyone goes in the room to lay down. If she is still awake after I'm done eating, washing dishes and cleaning up, which can take from 30-45 mins than I let her get up and she usually does her leapster in the kitchen. The 4 yr old dcb normally naps as well. If he is still up when I'm done with my work, I let him get up and he colors or does a puzzle. BUT, by 3pm or so, he gets real nasty because then he is tired.

[Unregistered]

If your child no longer needs a nap, pull them from the home daycare and wrestle it out with a center that is probably going to tell you your child needs to lay down for a certain amount of time.
Not every environment is right for every child. We do a ton of arts and crafts in my home. A couple of projects every day. It's what I do. I would not make and exception for a child that was into sports or basketball or soccer or whatever to go outside and play their choice of sports while the rest of us did the art activities. If that child or their parents were so opposed to doing what I had scheduled, and they knew that was the type of program I ran, then they need to find care elsewhere.
Nap time is a scheduled daily activity and it is usually written about in every home providers policy so the parents should know about it in advance. If they do not want their child participating in any of the scheduled daily activities then the child should not be in that program. The provider should not be and is not obligated to "make exceptions" for anyone.
Kid age out of programs all the time. To the woman who left and put her kid in a Montessori program - you probably did your provider a favor and saved her the time and energy of finding an excuse to terminate you. Home providers don't really have the luxury of worrying about the best interests of a particular child, it's the best interest of all of the children. If your kid is the square peg and going to screw up the nap routine of all of the rest of the kids, YOUR kid needs to go somewhere else. Not really an issue.

[Daycare Mommy]

I have to agree with the kids need naps crew... and not just because I need a break, but because the kids do. If a child falls asleep, they're tired. Yes as adults you can put us in a dark room we'll fall asleep, because most of us don't get enough sleep for how hard we work, and quite possibly in a perfect world should get a nap. LOL But since that's not going to happen at least the little guys should get to rest when they need it. With mine I didn't realize for a long time that I was missing the window of time when they would be able to go to sleep. I was putting them down to sleep at 8:30-9 and they pushed their bedtimes to 10 or 11 acting completely wired the whole time. We made bedtime 7pm, made the routine set in stone, use white noise, and bedtime is now not a big hassle. It is bedtime period. A helpful book for us was The No-Cry Sleep Solution For Toddlers & Preschoolers by Elizabeth Pantley. Tons of good suggestions for setting up a good routine, environment, and diet that will set children up to be able to fall asleep at bedtime.

[Former Teacher]

At my former center yes there was a mandatory naptime. No child is forced to sleep but they must be on their mat and lay quietly. If they fall asleep great. If not, then depending on the child we would give them books or puzzles etc.

State requires that should a child not be asleep within 30 mins they must be allowed to get up and walk around. We never allowed that since they would wake up their friends and all heck is broken loose.

State law also states that naptime is no longer than 3 hours. Our nap was from 1230-230 so only 2 hours. Every child was required to get up regardless of what time they went down. The only exception we made was when we had a field trip and if we got back late then the kids would sleep until 3:00. However no longer than that.

Sometimes parents would say they didn't want their kids sleeping or they would ask us to wake them up earlier. Depending on the child we would do it or not. One little boy (3) was there at 6:30 a.m. but wouldn't get picked up until after 6 or later and the parents didnt want him to nap because he didnt sleep well at night. I refused. I said this child is here ALL day (mom was at school, dad at home, yeah I know!) and I wasnt going to make the day miserable for everyone just so he can go to bed at 7 for them. Well, I didn't say it like that but you know what I mean!

I think that if you just let the children all have a rest period and tell the kids that they dont have to sleep but they do need to rest, things will eventually work out IMO

[Unregistered]

Why would a home daycare provider need a "Break" during the day to get their "own" chores done? I am at work all day a do get to get my "own" chores done on my break.

[MN Mom]

Because our homes are our places of business. Every business has "housekeeping" that needs to be done. Some companies hire this out to be done at night after close, some make employees do the task during working hours.

With children in the house dishes get dirtied, the trash gets full, toys get strewn about, housekeeping stuff needs to happen throughout the day..period.

You can also not expect a person who works 12+ hours a day to not have a break. Do you get a break + lunch break during your job?

[misol]

Why would a home daycare provider need a "Break" during the day to get their "own" chores done? I am at work all day a do get to get my "own" chores done on my break.

For the exact same reason that everyone else needs a break when they are at work - duh!

Under normal working conditions, it is required by law that employers give hourly employees a break after working a certain amount of hours a day. Employees tyically spend this "break" eating lunch, running personal errands, or doing another personal activity of their choice. Why would you think that a home daycare provider would not be entitled to the same "break" that people who work outside the home are entitled to? And just to enlighten you, most of our "own" chores are actually a direct result of having YOUR children in our home. We do laundry which includes linens and clothing that YOUR children have soiled, we do dishes that YOUR children have dirtied, we sweep and mop floors that YOUR child have dumped their lunch all over, and sometimes we start preparing dinner in the afternoon which quite often will also be lunch for YOUR children the next day. So, if it makes you feel any better, we are actually still working through our "break".

[momma2girls]

Why would a home daycare provider need a "Break" during the day to get their "own" chores done? I am at work all day a do get to get my "own" chores done on my break.

WOW!!! I can't believe this! We are cleaning up after the daycare children- sweeping, doing dishes, cleaning off tables, highchairs, putting away toys, washing bibs, blankets, sometimes clothes, towels, washclothes, getting afternoon activity together, running copies, the list goes on and on with everything!!!!

[Unregistered]

Thank goodness

Reading these posts especially misol just re-affims that fact that I made a great decision not sending my child to a home based daycare. My child is in a school setting and thank goodness. If you are so concerned with OUR children making messes then you shouldn't be running a business out of YOUR home. Also...the parents are paying your salary...why do you have to be so harsh and blame them for every single issue? All I have to say is, "wow!".

[MarinaVanessa]

The answer is easy in this case. Home and center based childcare providers get to make their rules as they with as long as they follow state guidelines. It is up to the parent's to read the policies and make sure that they feel comfortable with these and if they aren't then they can simply look around and find one that fits their needs. Even some center-based childcare's have a two-hour nap/quiet time policy so it's not a matter of home-based or center-based daycare's. And then there's the fact that even when you find that perfect center the child may not fit perfectly with the staff or home-provider. Parent's should do what they feel is best for their children and if it isn't a good fit then pulling them out is the best thing to do.

[grandmom]

Perhaps a suggestion would be for parents to spend a day with their provider so that they see the work that is done. So many parents think we sit and watch children (or tv) and don't really understand how much pressure and stres there is. That is not to negate the work parents must do at their job.

In the past I've had 2 parents work with me for the whole day. I asked them to work the 12 hours I work, not the 8 they would work in their job. They were my best supporters after that.

Walk a mile in my shoes. Change 24 diapers, fix 48 meals/snacks in a day. And so many things the state requires us to do on a daily basis. I need the break. Quiet time is required here. If you don't want a quite time, there are providers that specialize in older children who don't need the nap.

[momma2girls]

have you just simply told him, when you yell at nap you will get no craft time. Period. Hes 4, not a baby. He seems smart. Be straight with him. when he arrives say Little Billy, if you scream at my home you will have to lose an activity. If your quiet, you get the activity.

Make it story time or playdough time or whatever,... something that happens BEFORE nap remind him the first day during the activity that if he screams he will not do the activity the next day. If he does scream,.... the next day say,.. Billy, you dont get to play (the activity) today because of your behavior yesterday. Im sorry but you chose to throw a fit, you need to go sit while we do the activity. Then when you lay them down say ,.. Billy,.. if you scream today you will not do the activity tomorrow. It will be fresh in his mind that he missed out because of his behavior. I bet it will take one day,.. possibly two to fix this issue. If it doesnt work the first day pick something really fun to exclude him from. And if anyone wants to flame me go ahead. Thats how it works here,.. You behave and get fun things,.. You misbehave and you dont. Amazingly,.. the kids behave,.. listen and after a time or two missing a fun thing,.. they magically "get it". My opinion,.. you dont give a tantrum a reward. and any attention is attention even if its to say,.. hush, be quiet,.. stop yelling,.. Bad behavior is ignored,..Ignored behavior is not being re-enforced. the bad behavior that gets no attention is no longer getting them attention so its not worth the effort. They see that good behavior is rewarded with fun things,... the world keeps spinning and everyone is friends.

What I do I turn the tv on to a nick jr, PBS, or a movie to unwind everyone who is older and can nap on their mats and blankets for 1/2 an hr. everyday. THis unwinds the children and I shut it off after that, then it is naptime! They all get used to this and unwind and fall asleep after they each go to the bathroom and I shut tv off. It works well.