How Long Should 4 Year Old Nap

[nannyde]

And to top it off... she (not mom2many - but the person she was quoting) has stated numerous times that she gets all her work done WHILE THE KIDS ARE UP. So this 3 hours is 100% down time. It's not like some of us who use naptime to do dishes and sweep. AND she has a teenager to clean and do paperwork.

Btw, Mom2Many, your daycare sounds a lot like mine.

You talking about me?

My staff assistant is 22 and my nap is 2.5 hours long.

I DO get all the work done with the KIDS ARE UP. We have between six and eight kids a day with TWO adults.

It's BAD to have two adults doing work so both adults can have a good long break in the midst of a long day?

Ummmm let me think?

You can operate ten hours a day and have a long break in the afternoon without any kids up OR you can operate ten hours a day and have part of a break with some of the kids up and daycare work?

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm

That's a toughie.

It's not free or special. I PAY a second person. I FIND the parents who can pay for such a low adult to child ratio. I WORKED hard to get to this point.

It's a GOOD thing to have rested children AND adults together. Makes for a very happy home and a super happy Nan

[nannyde]

I often have 2, 3 or 4 yo that will not fall asleep and I have never looked upon "nap time" as "my time off". I will have them lay down and watch a movie, read a book or play quietly, but it's a time for the house to be quiet, so that those napping can rest and sleep if they need it.

I open at 7am and close at 6pm and have for many years. I watch children 0-12 yo and with that comes flexibility and accommodating many different situations...some that nap and some that don't!

I can't imagine having 2, 3, and 4 year olds up at nap. I can't imagine working an eleven hour day without a LONG break in the afternoon. I don't know how you do it. I know for sure I couldn't manage it.

[mom2many]

I can't imagine having 2, 3, and 4 year olds up at nap. I can't imagine working an eleven hour day without a LONG break in the afternoon. I don't know how you do it. I know for sure I couldn't manage it.

I guess it's like everything else in life...if it's what you are used to and okay with, then it's no biggie! I do have to stay organized and utilize every spare moment I have to keep things running smooth, but I don't consider my days stressful or difficult w/o having this break. It's not like everyone is up running around...it's "quiet time" and even the S/A kids know that they need to be respectful to those that are napping. Sometimes the non-nappers watch a movie, color or simply play quietly. I can sweep the floor, wash up lunch dishes or do paperwork. "My" time starts at 6 pm! That's when I relax!!!

I have NEVER had an assistant either to help me clean, interact with the dcks or take care of other dc duties either. I have never felt the need to hire anyone and am completely fine with taking care of everything myself. I do relish the fact that my hubby was able to go on early retirement and helps me now with the transportation, so I don't have to load kids in and out of my Suburban. Now that is HUGE!

[Unregistered]

how long should 4 year old nap

I am a preschool teacher and am surprised at all the other providers who consider nap time a break for them. I suppose if you are in an in-home daycare and work by yourself, that time can be considered a break even if it is spent cleaning and prepping. However, I work in a wonderful center and I get my hour lunch break during nap time while my co-teacher stays in the room with the napping kids- when I return she goes on her hour lunch. State licensing law requires that children lay on their mats quietly for a half hour. If they are awake after this point I will give them books to look at while I set up quiet table activities for post nap. I also clean the lunch tables, write in the notebooks so that parents know what their child did during the day, disinfect and bleach and make sure we are up to licensing standards in terms of paperwork on the rare occasion that everyone is down and all else is done (Both teacher take turns with these duties- FYI). Naptime can be a source of contention between families and teachers, but at the end of the day we all want what is best for the children. I am not looking for nap time to be my down time- I have a lunch break for that. However, I do not want the children who do need naps to go without because one child is having a hard time falling asleep at home. Please note that nap time is never three hours! Maybe from the completion of lunch and transitioning onto mats, bathrooms, last minute bathrooms and until the last child is awake and doing an activity but I have never heard of having kids lay on mats for three or even two hours, especially if they are awake.
I currently teach a mixed age (3-5 year-olds) classroom and have two families who don't want their children to nap. One parent has a 4 1/2 year old who apparently has a hard time falling asleep at home and the bedtime routine, as it was explained to me, does not seem very relaxing. Also, I asked about any toys that are allowed in bed and mom said they can have legos or similar toys so that they are more likely to stay in bed. Legos, blocks, cars- pretty much anything other than stuffed animals or other cuddly toys- do not belong in bed. Also, this child falls asleep during the rest time and I hate having to quietly shake and coax the child awake after a half hour or hour of sleep. I do it, because the parent had asked this of us to help the bed time at hom but now we are being asked to "phase" naps out entirely. A child is the one who phases a nap out.
The other child is three and naps like a champ! The infant sibling at home apparently is on a new feeding schedule so the three year old wants to stay up like the baby but mom blames her desire to stay up with mom and the baby on her school naps. This child falls asleep on her own and is impossible to wake up. On the one or two occasions she didn't sleep (naptime disruptions from another child who did not want to sleep) she was a wreck the rest of the day. I am happy to allow a child books and paper and crayons on their mats after the half hour rest period but I will not keep a child up. That is preposterous to me!
Furthermore, when you pay someone to care for your child- whether it is in-home or a center, I find it repulsive and demeaning that you feel that person does not deserve a break. Apparently, the quality of care your child receives is less important than the fact that he not nap since you sent him to a place where the food was not great and the place was not as clean as you would have preferred- but hey, no naps! Did you ever think: "Perhaps my child's teacher is totally burned out from dealing with children all day without any opportunity for a moment of silence or peace and will probably deliver less than stellar care for the remainder of the day". I guess that the thought of moving your child's 8pm bedtime back a little (What an idea! Ever considered that instead of no naps- maybe he can stay up an extra half hour since he's FOUR?!) seemed less far-fetched than child care hopping. I wonder why your mom took another job instead of watching your son and nephew? And think about it this way: if your child came home cranky and miserable every day because the non-napping kids kept him up, how would that make you feel. I get a lot more parents asking that their kids nap than those who want them awake. On those "busy" weekends when you guys probably make cookies and walk to the park, little "Tommy" is getting a lot less tuckered out because he is not following a classroom schedule. A day in preschool dealing with 10 to 14 other children, non-stop activities, playtime and learning can quite frankly can be exhausting compared to hanging out with mom- no matter how much you do. Take home your child's classroom schedule and invite three or more of his friends (and children he doesn't like to really replicate the classroom experience) over and see how well he naps that day. I am completely in favor of supporting parents but I feel like sometimes parents feel like their child is the only one being cared for. That is called getting a nanny.
If it is so hard to find "good help" why not downgrade your car, move to a smaller home in a less desirable neighborhood, cut back on your frivolous spending so you can work less and spend more time at home with your child. That way, you can raise him any way you see fit. BUT as long as you pay someone else to do that job for you, you cease being the one and only rule-maker.

[Unregistered]

Thanks for all the comments. Just another bit of info here. She has been sleeping in her parents bed since birth and just about a month ago, they tried to get her in her own room. Needless to say, the child told me on Monday, that her mom just moved her bed into her parents room. I am just going to do as I always have and have her take a nap with the other kids. She very clearly runs her household, but I will not allow her to run my daycare. I do need that break every day, and actually look forward to catching up on the laundry and cleaning at nap time. It is the only way, I can get my own chores done.

You are not getting paid to do your chores, your paid to watch the kids!
that means all of you know it all baby sitters, whom get paid 2 - 3hrs for watching kids sleep.
It's funny how its always the parents don't know anything. HUH

[Del]

Glad I Can Afford a Nanny

I happened upon this site just looking for advice about the possibility of my 4 3/4 year old no longer needing a nap. She's having a hard time falling asleep at night.

Instead I found some really self-righteous providers who may want to re-evaluate their line of work. I thought I'd provide a few "indicators" so you know who you are:

1. If you are quick to say "ALL THE OTHER children do this" or "ALL MY EIGHT kids did it like this" - you are clueless about respecting the fact that each kid is different and has different needs. (i'm not advocating nap vs. no nap, break vs no break as I don't believe that that is the real issue with some of these posts).

2. The lady who said she "laid really still" and "pretended to be asleep" so she wouldn't "get in trouble at daycare" during the 2 hour nap period... am I the only person who found this disturbing? This sounds like the kind of "lessons" that come from being abused at home. Ijs...

3. If you are 100% confident that you KNOW FOR A FACT that little Suzie's God-awful parents let her stay up until 11:00 EVERY SINGLE NIGHT... seriously? now you're the omnicient, ever-present, santa claus provider? You are not at that child's house so you may think you know but have the humility to realize that you can't say for certain...

4. If you use phrases like "these parents will never get it" - you should definitely stick a fork in yourself. Once you start seeing this as "you against them" you're done.

5. Finally, if you are posting on this forum while the children in your care are napping.... well... I think you get my point.

It's okay to decide that a certain career is no longer bringing you joy. It doesn't mean you're a bad person or that you failed.

[Unregistered]

child has hard time going to sleep at night after daycare allows 3 hour naps

I've read alot of the posts on here and seems to me that the daycare people do not understand, in fact my child wouldnt attend any of your daycares because the people that run them do not respect the parents wishes. I went to pick my daughter up from daycare at 4:30 the other evening to find her still asleep on the mat. She then stays up til midnight laying in her bed staring at the ceiling at night before she falls asleep, and she is in bed at 8:30 every night. I understand that the state mandates that naps be given for 2 hours ONLY. However it doesnt specifiy that the nap has to start at 1 and go til the child wakes up hours later. I as a parent feel that the lazy caregivers should be waking the children. The state law also manadates that the child get to play outside for a specified period of time EVERYDAY not when you feel like it. I also read that one daycare provider refuses to let the child drink from a regular cup, my advice to the parents is if you get a letter from the dentist saying that your child can not drink from a sippy cup they HAVE TO ABIDE BY IT. My daughter had a lot of dental issues because as her dentist told me there is hardly a difference between a bottle and a sippy cup...I came on this sight looking for advice on how to help my child fall asleep and was extremely upset to find the daycare providers we pay to care for our children throwing such a fit. Theres more than one daycare out there and there are people who will care for your children the way you see fit!

[Unregistered]

I love nannyde!

Priceless

Really??? She is seriously nasty. She thinks she is the be-all end-all of dayhome operators and is so deserving of her 3 hour "break" that she "hates" older children. I do not want someone like that watching my children. I've been doing this for 18 years too and I know there are other more enjoyable ways to give an older child "quiet time" without forcing them to lie still with nothing to do. Many of them are also very good company during MY "breaks"! I also know that it's possible to get all of the prep work and clean up done AND eat my lunch in a half-hour period. The rest of it is silliness and YES laziness. These children are our first priorities and if you people are not able to see their individual needs then you need to find another profession.

Seriously. Everyone bowing down to a childcare worker who stated that she hates ANY child. Good on you Nannyde that you have such loving fans. Makes me sick.

[mac60]

And tune in tomorrow for the next episode of "HOW LONG SHOULD A 4 YEAR OLD NAP"..............

[SunshineMama]

I have two almost 4's. They both sleep 2-3 hours in the afternoon, but i think it is because we play so hard in the mornings and their little bodies really need the rest. My daughter is one of them, and she goes to bed at 7:30, is up at 6:30, and takes a 2-3 hour nap. The other little boy's parents keep him up late and at least 2 times a week I have to almost drag him out of bed at naptime to get him ready for his parents to arrive, or because it has been longer than 3 hours. I think it all depends on the child really.

Now, if either of them wake up after an hour's nap or so, I let them get up and read/computer game/movie, etc until naptime is over for everyone else. That rarely happens though, they're great sleepers!

[SunshineMama]

PS: For those of you making comments about lazy providers who let the kids sleep: I always text the mom and ask her if she wants me to get him up or let him sleep, and she always tells me to let him sleep because he needs it. His parents are divorced and dad never gives him naps and keeps him up late, not maliciously, but just because it's what they do. My daycare kids sleep because we already ran around outside, played hard, did a bazillion fun actrivities, and they are just tired from all of the excitement.

My other daycare parents told me to wake them up if they have been asleep for 3 hours, less than that, let them sleep.

Before you judge a provider for letting a child sleep, think about all of the exciting activities that they may have done during the day that may have exhausted them. I'm just saying...

[Unregistered]

I happened upon this site just looking for advice about the possibility of my 4 3/4 year old no longer needing a nap. She's having a hard time falling asleep at night.

Instead I found some really self-righteous providers who may want to re-evaluate their line of work. I thought I'd provide a few "indicators" so you know who you are:

1. If you are quick to say "ALL THE OTHER children do this" or "ALL MY EIGHT kids did it like this" - you are clueless about respecting the fact that each kid is different and has different needs. (i'm not advocating nap vs. no nap, break vs no break as I don't believe that that is the real issue with some of these posts).

2. The lady who said she "laid really still" and "pretended to be asleep" so she wouldn't "get in trouble at daycare" during the 2 hour nap period... am I the only person who found this disturbing? This sounds like the kind of "lessons" that come from being abused at home. Ijs...

3. If you are 100% confident that you KNOW FOR A FACT that little Suzie's God-awful parents let her stay up until 11:00 EVERY SINGLE NIGHT... seriously? now you're the omnicient, ever-present, santa claus provider? You are not at that child's house so you may think you know but have the humility to realize that you can't say for certain...

4. If you use phrases like "these parents will never get it" - you should definitely stick a fork in yourself. Once you start seeing this as "you against them" you're done.

5. Finally, if you are posting on this forum while the children in your care are napping.... well... I think you get my point.

It's okay to decide that a certain career is no longer bringing you joy. It doesn't mean you're a bad person or that you failed.

Are you a provider or an angry parent? Just wondering- it doesn't sound like you are a provider, because you have no clue that you cannot accommodate 6 different children's individual schedules in group care. Some states mandate 2 hours of naptime/ quiet rest-time- we are not going to break the law because YOU want us to. Sorry.

I know that some of my daycare kids go to sleep at 10 or 11 pm because THE PARENTS TELL ME.

Some parents "NEVER GET IT" about a lot of things. It isn't you versus us, it's that we tell you things over and over and you don't listen or care. Don't bring your sick child to daycare. Pay on time. Pick up on time. Bring more food when your child is out. We usually don't fault the parents IF we have not talked to them first: the parents who dont get it are the ones whom we have to consistently tell THE SAME THINGS TO over and over. PS: A lot of my daycare kids call me ma-ma. I keep telling them my name over and over, but they prefer to call me ma-ma. I feel sad for their real mothers and am embarassed when they call me that in front of them, but the fact is that I spend more time with your child than you do.

Maybe it isn't so bad if your child stays up an hour later at night so you can give them some attention?

Uhhhh, and what about posting on this forum when the kids are napping? Should we post on it when they are outside or free play or somethng else? Maybe we should post on it while they are running with scissors... seriously? What we do during naptime isnt your business.

I am not a self-righteous provider. I love the kids. I love my families. We have open communication, and are all on the same page about a lot of things. I hate it when people post to this, and sorry, a lot of the time it is jaded parents, and criticize what we do. Most of us work at least 50 hours a week minumim- if 10 of those hours are mandated naptimes for your child- so be it.

Would you wake up your child from a nap on the weekends so they go to sleep earlier if you knew they had a big day and were exhausted and needed the sleep?

And for the person who posted about NannyDe- I am relatively new to this forum and I don't know you or NannyDe, but this is a daycare provider's forum, and she is a provider with a lot of good advice. You do not have to judge or like everything she does, but who the heck are you to criticize someone like that?

So sick of all of these jerks who are coming on this site lately.

Oh- I'm a registered user too

[Cat Herder]

And tune in tomorrow for the next episode of "HOW LONG SHOULD A 4 YEAR OLD NAP"..............

I was thinking Tune in Tomorrow for "Another Cowardly "unregistered" Nannyde Attack".....

Mods, can you see that IP address?

Nan is the ONLY one here with CLIENTS who adore her on this board.....

[Unregistered]

I was thinking Tune in Tomorrow for "Another Cowardly "unregistered" Nannyde Attack".....

Mods, can you see that IP address?

Nan is the ONLY one here with CLIENTS who adore her on this board.....

You call it an "attack" when it is aimed at one of your own, yet there are any number of providers on here saying worse things about the loving parents of the children in their care. Shame on you.

My ip number is of no consequence. I am a visitor to this board who was so disgusted by what I saw that I could not help but comment. CHILDREN ARE INDIVIDUALS WITH INDIVIDUAL NEEDS AND NO ALL CHILDREN NEED TO NAP. It is NOT a sin to let non mallets stay up with you, and it can be very pleasant to have older children stay up to help ou or visi with you.

You are all entitled to your opinions. So am I.

I do not like the mind-set on this board and I will not be back. I do, however, want to make it plain to the parents out there that we are not ALL of this selfish, narrow mind-set.

[My3cents]

I have a 4 year old who has to lay on a mat for 1 and a half hours at her preschool/day care center. She can't get her little body to rest/sleep. The teachers reward the resting sleeping children with stickers. So every day my daughter comes home crying thinking she did something wrong because she gets no reward. Every child is different. To force a 4 year old to lay on a mat for that long doing nothing is bizarre to me. Could someone please post the Maryland state regulation that says child care workers must force a child to lay on a mat for 2 hours.

I think I read that regulation at one point and it states that a child care center must offer a nap area and a rest period but it is up to the child if he/she wants to nap or rest. I understand the need for quiet time but please this is crazy the way you think you can force children to sleep or sit still on a mat when their bodies are not able to do so.
Stop and really think about the power struggle you are creating. The feeling of shame you are creating in these children when you are telling them to do this and if they don't something is wrong with them.
You are interrupting the regulation all wrong. This regulation was to support and understand the needs of the child not to give the care giver a break.

Read and reread the regulation with each individual child in mind. Then please, please listen to the parents who knows more about their own child then the person in government that wrote a regulation that is being misused.

Explain to your child why those children are getting stickers. Bring this up to your daycare. They might not realize your child is feeling this way.

I don't feel you are creating shame- your teaching your child to be able to follow directions. You should thank your provider for this instead of looking at this as a negative.

If you feel your child should get a sticker too, your only setting your child up to needing something for everything she does. I feel reward systems are good in some ways but over used. Kids feel they should "get" something for everything they do. They are not learning self satisfaction. It's just a give me, give me more, more more.

It's ok for kids to learn NO and not run the adults. Having reasonable rules and boundaries is not a bad thing and is helping to set your child up early to being able to listen and follow directions and learn.

For those of you that are coming into the forum and bashing us providers.....take it up with your own providers. Work it out with them. Tell them your concerns and listen to what they have to say about the issue. We love and care for kids and have the best interest of the kids at large. This forum should be closed to parents and only for providers. A seperate forum should be opened for parents to ask providers questions. Parents come in here and don't realize we are venting to our co-workers a portion of our day. For me anyways, my positives out weigh the negatives but if I post one negative it sets me up to look like a horrible provider.

I hear you as a parent- and that is why I feel you should go to your provider and explain what you see going on with your child. Find a happy medium. No provider is ever going to be you. Hear me as a provider- almost all of us providers care for the best interest of our children. We spend long hours with them and love and care for them. When I ask your child to rest, its because I know your child needs it. I know the other kids need it. I am not trying to punish your child, its just our routine and one of the many things we do at care. Again, I hear you as a parent- your child does not need a sleep nap, but asking her to be quiet and read books, or quiet activity is no unreasonable. For me- I have the older kids try to rest for a while, if they can't I put on a quiet down time movie (Otis and Milo) is a favorite and they can opt to watch that, read, or quiet activity. Just having down time for the non nappers makes a difference in the rest of the day for them and for me.