Justin Ross Harris Trial

[Play Care]

I forget milk, bread, stamps, etc. I've never forgotten my kids.

But, I do think in rare cases, it's a truly horrific accident. The one that comes to mind is the teacher who returned to work after the summer and forgot to go to dc, because she had never done it before.

But I do think their are parents who are do it purposely and claim accident. Even more so now since we have the knowledge.

I do call parents but I would hate to be required to.

[nanglgrl]

I don't know anything about this specific trial but have read plenty of research on why it happens and believe that unfortunately it's a product of the super busy, incredibly stressed, multi-tasking society we live in where parents depend on both incomes. I'm sure there are cases of it being intentional but I've read so many stories of cases where it was most likely unintentional and those grieving parents are in a living hell.

I did forget my child in the car once. I completely forgot about it until just now. I was driving and my 2 yo daughter was in the back seat with a daycare boy who was like part of our family. They were singing, the hubby and I were laughing about how adorable they were from the front seat. Suddenly my daughter started having a seizure. I'd never seen a seizure before. I didn't know what was happening. I drove like a maniac to the closest hospital while screaming at my husband to crawl back and help her and other drivers to let me over. We pull up, hubby grabs her and runs in, I grab daycare boy and run in. He turns to me and says "where's the baby?" I left my newborn in the car! I ran out and got him but if hubby hadn't been with me it could have been tragic. It was winter and he'd even left the van door wide open! I was used to lugging my daughter and daycare boy everywhere, I wasn't used to grabbing the baby and this might have been one of the first times we were all out and about since he was born. I think part of me thought he grabbed the baby since he got my daughter out of that side of the car. I was also panicked and in a situation I've never been in before. This situation is different but the brain functioning is the same.

I've also thought I forgot a child before. Since my children usually go everywhere with me I can't tell you the amount of times I've pulled out of a store, seen the empty car seat in the rear view mirror and had a panic attack before I remembered they weren't with me or pulled up at home, went to get them out of the car seat only to realize they didn't come with me.

There have been times my hubby takes my daughter to soccer or my son to wrestling and I get ready to leave and run errands and realize he left the other child home (he usually takes them both with him). I've never actually forgotten one of them at home but I've had some close calls when he decided not to take one because they fell asleep and didn't think to tell me that he was changing how he normally does things.

I would have been utterly devastated if something happened to one of my children. If it was something that I did or didn't do that caused the tradegedy I'd probably be suicidal.
Since I can see how it can just be a horrible accident that happens after a "perfect storm" of irregular events that a parent isn't used to I don't think parents should be jailed for this unless it can be proven that it was intentional. I do think some required device in cars or on car seats would be helpful but they'd have to find a way to work around liability issues for the manufacturer of the device. They'd also have to make it mandatory for people with young children since NO ONE thinks it can happen to them because they would never ever forget their child....which is exactly why a majority of these accidents happen.

[itsallaboutthekids]

It's the same memory/brain system causing us to forget things

People need to understand that if you have the ability to forget things like milk, bread, stamps, cellphone, keys, etc.; you DO have the capability of forgetting (or losing awareness) that your child is in the car with you. Our brain doesn't necessarily assign "worth" to what we forget or not.

As far as the number of cases where children are left alone in vehicles....90% unknowingly and 10% knowingly. Very different than most people believe; or should I say the exact opposite of what most posters have expressed in this thread.

I forget milk, bread, stamps, etc. I've never forgotten my kids.

But, I do think in rare cases, it's a truly horrific accident. The one that comes to mind is the teacher who returned to work after the summer and forgot to go to dc, because she had never done it before.

But I do think their are parents who are do it purposely and claim accident. Even more so now since we have the knowledge.

I do call parents but I would hate to be required to.

[itsallaboutthekids]

Judge and Jury

This case isn't about forgetting his son. He had to of known his son was in the car. He was a sicko and didn't want his son anymore. His daycare couldn't of known this. I guess had they of called would of blown his cover story. He was sexting a 16 year old while his son was dying. There will be no justice for this little boy ever.

Not sure how YOU would know if he knew the baby was in the back seat or not.

The police stretched the truth on almost all aspects of this unthinkable tragedy.

Let's wait to hear all of the evidence before we make such predictions.

[itsallaboutthekids]

Well said!

So true!

Your assessment of the situation hit the nail on the head!

If the auto makers didn't have so many reminders in their cars already; there might be some sort of argument against installing a driver reminder system.

Reminder to put on your seat belt
Reminder so you don't leave your keys in the ignition
Reminder if your 'door is ajar'
Tire pressure reminder
Etc., etc., etc.,

The best analogy to this situation is that you cannot purchase a vehicle today that doesn't either turn your headlights off automatically for you or at the very least reminds you to turn off your headlights when leaving your vehicle.

What's more important? I dead car battery or a dead baby?

[itsallaboutthekids]

Amen

i am a bit baffled by these responses. Maybe they should be charged with manslaughter, maybe it was deliberate but a child is still dead! It takes everyone doing their best to keep kids safe. If a sensor alerts a bystander that a child is locked in a hot car isnt that a good thing :confused: An alarm goes off if someone tries to steal my car, or if they drive away in my car a sensor shuts down the engine. Isn't a child locked in a hot car more important?

No amount of pointing fingers, getting on our high horse or saying it is the parents responsibility is going to bring back a dead child or prevent another child from dying.

I do agree that it is not my responsibility as a caregiver to track the whereabouts of a child not in my care.

amen!

[itsallaboutthekids]

Liability

Maybe the car industry doesn't want to take on this liability either. If the seat/alarm what ever they design should fail they would be held liable for the death of the child.

That would be the automakers excuse.....but think about absolutely everything else they put in our vehicles.

If the brakes fail....who's responsible?
If the car suddenly stops on a freeway...who's responsible?
If your car burst into flames...who's responsible?
If your car suddenly accelerates...who's responsible?

Millions of vehicles have been recalled over the past 2-3 years...who's responsible?

[Blackcat31]

Not sure how YOU would know if he knew the baby was in the back seat or not.

The police stretched the truth on almost all aspects of this unthinkable tragedy.

Let's wait to hear all of the evidence before we make such predictions.

It's fine if you have an opinion as it's your right but it's not your right to tell others how to feel or what their opinion should or shouldn't be. :confused:

[Cat Herder]

Exhibit A: The police stretched the truth on almost all aspects of this unthinkable tragedy.

Let's wait to hear all of the evidence before we make such predictions.

:::: Please tell me you can see the hypocrisy. ::::

[itsallaboutthekids]

Daycare drop off

This case has intrigued me from the beginning, the trial finally started and I've been following it. In the trial groups I'm in I have already seen it mentioned that daycares should have to call when a child doesn't arrive on time. I knew that aspect would come up...anyone else following the trial?

Edited to add-This is the hot car death case

What we need to institute is a system similar to the public school 'absence line.'

If a child does not show up at school AND the parents haven't call to let the school know that; they call to find out the whereabouts of that child.

It is the PARENTS RESPONSIBILITY to call if the child is going to be absent. BUT, if their child is not present and they have not received a call from the parent; the school does call.

It seems reasonable for a similar system to be instituted at daycare facilities. One would hope it would be a rare occurrence that a child is not in attendance when they are scheduled to be there.

Additionally; if you are being paid for an entire day of taking care of them and their safety; a phone call seems to be a small 'ask' in exchange for receiving full-pay even when the child is not there.

Yet, hundreds of children would still be alive today if a daycare provider had called to find the whereabouts of a child left alone in a vehicle.

Think about your current policies surrounding what happens if children are NOT picked up at the agreed upon time. All sorts of protocols are in place for that occurrence.
You could even "charge" parents who don't call to let you know about the whereabouts of their child if a family becomes a repeat offender.

Thoughts?

[Blackcat31]

What we need to institute is a system similar to the public school 'absence line.'

If a child does not show up at school AND the parents haven't call to let the school know that; they call to find out the whereabouts of that child.

It is the PARENTS RESPONSIBILITY to call if the child is going to be absent. BUT, if their child is not present and they have not received a call from the parent; the school does call.

It seems reasonable for a similar system to be instituted at daycare facilities. One would hope it would be a rare occurrence that a child is not in attendance when they are scheduled to be there.

Additionally; if you are being paid for an entire day of taking care of them and their safety; a phone call seems to be a small 'ask' in exchange for receiving full-pay even when the child is not there.

Yet, hundreds of children would still be alive today if a daycare provider had called to find the whereabouts of a child left alone in a vehicle.

Think about your current policies surrounding what happens if children are NOT picked up at the agreed upon time. All sorts of protocols are in place for that occurrence.
You could even "charge" parents who don't call to let you know about the whereabouts of their child if a family becomes a repeat offender.

Thoughts?

So you are essentially blaming daycares for the death of these children???????

[itsallaboutthekids]

It's fine if you have an opinion as it's your right but it's not your right to tell others how to feel or what their opinion should or shouldn't be. :confused:

Don't have an opinion, didn't tell you how to feel or what your opinion should be...just noted the 'facts' as we know them so far.

[Blackcat31]

Don't have an opinion, didn't tell you how to feel or what your opinion should be...just noted the 'facts' as we know them so far.

You admonished a poster for stating their opinion but yet you did the same thing.

Your opinion is factual but others are not?

[itsallaboutthekids]

Re-read the message

So you are essentially blaming daycares for the death of these children???????

No, not at all.

I'm just saying it would be good to institute an 'absence line.'

Everyone who is part of the team caring for an innocent child should be communicating with each other.

[itsallaboutthekids]

:::: Please tell me you can see the hypocrisy. ::::

There is quite a big difference between the facts and opinion.