Co-Sleeping, Stroller Sleeping, or Car Seat Sleeping

[Angelsj]

Funny choice of words...I'm not American.
Your side bar says Wisconsin..so I assumed. Apologies

Honestly, though, I DO get what you're saying. I realize that in a lot of cultures it IS common practice. But, I believe in those cultures, in born of necessity, and even if no longer necessary for the baby's safety, it's part of their culture. In our culture, it's a fad. We actually have the luxury of making it a choice (and even arguing about it). THAT"S American Ethnocentrism...:: I believe in all sincerity that it is not (or if we must argue that point, that it should not be a fad.) As a first world society, I think we might be raising children that have some serious issues with their own self worth.

You can carry your babies and I can roll my eyes at you about it (maybe a little), and we can act like it really matters in the long run of their development. In reality, it's probably a minor blip on their developmental radar, KWIM? Your kids and my kids are well-adjusted because we loved them, nurtured them, encouraged them, and made sure their bellies were full and they got enough rest. This is probably true, in the same way that breastfeeding is unarguably the best way for babies to eat, but formula will satisfy their need to eat and survive.

There are people in THIS country who can't or won't do those things, much less debate baby wearing. THIS is absolutely true!!


I really wasn't attacking your decision to carry you babies, and we clearly got side-tracked on this thread (as we often do). I apologize if I offended you. Oh, and sorry, OP! As far as daycare goes, yeah, don't bring me your worn, co-slept baby and expect them to be very happy with me! I haven't actually had that happen yet, though. No offense. I am ok with agreeing to disagree. It is more the ones that claim I am doing some kind of irreparable damage to myself or the children that I find offensive. Doing things differently is how the world operates. We value different things. And that is ok.

Oh yes, I have to have words here too

[delferka]

WOW!!! You said it all girl!!! You spoke it for all of us!!!!

[Heidi]

Oh yes, I have to have words here too

:hug:

I don't think it's a bad thing or harmful to children in any way. The only thing I have trouble with is parents that set their littles up for being unhappy (like swing-training them and then sending them here, knowing I can't use a swing for sleep), or parents who co-sleep because they just can't say no, not because they want to do it, KWIM?

An example would be the family where mom and kids slept in the king-sized bed, and dad slept in the twin-sized "little princess" bed in the pink room next door. Yeah....no! Oh, and when he openly complained about it, his wife said something to the effect of "too bad, so sad". That's not healthy for anyone, the marriage or the kids. Obviously, part of a larger marriage issue, but I'll spare you the other details.

[renodeb]

I 'am a true believer in helping children develop self soothing skills. I usually rock the little babies but start sleep training them pretty young. For me it is a matter of survival during the day. The better they self sooth the easier it is for me. Children sleep best in a crib. It is better and safer for them. A lot of parents tend to learn this the hard way because at the time it may seem easier to just let them sleep in the swing or whatever. One of the hardest things about being a cc provider is (for me) is not forcing our beliefs on our clients. We can urgue and encourage but we cant force them to see things our way! Ex: My 13 m/o dc boy who drinks great out of a sippy yet mom still wants the snuggle time with him and his bottle and says that when he is 18 mos old she will wean. I disagree but I have pushed as much as I could. He does not get a bottle here!
Deb

[Unregistered]

Not that I'm disagreeing with your doc.... but I'm disagreeing with your doc Apnea episodes actually happen more often in car seats. This is why preemies have to pass a car seat test before they are released.

SOME.... MINE was the opposite. Not all kids have the same scenarios. That's why any good doctor would never ever just assume anything based on what 9/10 kids MIGHT do, rather they would consider the individual child and then make recommendations.

My preemies didn't have to do a "carseat test" Im not sure what that is. I did have to have a police officer professionally install the seat in the car, but that was the extent of it and in fact, all I had to do was bring the seats with me, stick the babies in and they watched us put the seats in the base and we took off and that was that.

Every baby (patient) is different.


Personally I would never baby wear, not because I think it's dangerous, but because I would prefer my baby be independent than clingy. I raised 4 and they're all pretty independent and do not need 100% of my attention, which is a good thing since I work outside he home now. They needed to be able to go to school and daycare without mommy, without a binky a lovey or a bottle. Without having to be dependent on SOMEONE to always be holding them. The DCP would not be able to do that since she has a bunch of other children in her care, and mine do not rule the earth.

I think sometimes, we are doing a disservice to our children by spoiling them too much. They then grow up to become entitled and have "expectations" of everyone and think the world revolves around them, when it doesn't. Then they're sorely disappointed and hurt when they don't get their way.

IDK maybe I'm jaded by the fact I see 5yo's with IPADS (I mean REALLY!!!) and Iphones and parents not parenting, people growing up dependent on others to get them by, or when bad things happen they cannot handle them (school and other shootings). It's gotten to be a society in which we live where no one can fend for themselves.


Has anyone ever watched Revolution or Walking Dead? While they're silly shows, the story is "what would happen to humans if...." and I honestly do not think we'd survive on our own. We'd have to basically kill or be killed, instead of working together. Why? Because kids aren't TAUGHT these values anymore (at home).

[christine19720]

Okay. This needs to be said. IF YOU are a Stay at home parent...and never plan on returning to work or going away for the weekend or having a babysitter then don't bother reading further...

HOWEVER, If you have a baby and are going back to the workforce or plan on having babysitters, or family watch over your child PLEASE read!!

The Co-sleeping parenting or stroller sleeping or letting baby sleep in carseat, or holding/rocking baby during naps etc., will not work if you plan on having a life away from baby.

No daycare will ever let your child sleep in a carseat (babies have been known for having "flat head" for constantly sleeping in carseats, not to mention babies who have been choked by the straps of the carseat) or a stroller (strangulation, suffocation, or falling out of stroller etc...)

It is dangerous and your are LUCKY nothing has happened to your baby! Read your instruction manual for carseats and strollers if you want to challenge this. Sure you will find a section to confirm what I have just mentioned above.

As for Co-sleeping or holding/rocking baby during entire nap...Do you anticipate having a date night or going away for a romantic weekend with partner/spouse? Do you want to get your hair done, go grocery shopping ect, and/or have a family member watch over baby?? How realistic do you see your family and friends being willing care for your baby if they have to co-sleep with your child? or hold your 40lb baby while they nap for 2 hours...baby might be small now...but as we all know babies get bigger and bigger and bigger...and eventually they will be adults one day.

What about the staff at daycare centers and home daycare? Should they "Sleep" with your baby at nap time?? Think about it. Daycare staff are there to supervise during naps not "Sleep"! They also have a number of other children to "care" for, not to mention that quiet time is usually when daycare staff are scheduled to eat their lunch and/or time to rejuvenate themselves before everyone else wakes up!

To all parents who are refusing to teach their child how to sleep independently in a CRIB. Imagine how stressed babies are when you all of sudden you say "Okay baby...Mommy/Daddy are going to work now! So see you later and by the way...no more "stroller sleeping, car seat sleeping, or co-sleeping, or rocking baby in arms sleep" Seriously! It has to stop!

If you don't know how to teach your baby how to self sooth or sleep get help! There are a number resources/companies in your community that specialize in this. It will take probably a few sessions but your baby is smart and a fast learner! Soon your baby will be the best sleeper!

You will have some personal time as a couple again and if you are a single parent then that means you can ACTUALLY have some YOU time! WOW! wouldn't that be nice!

The greatest gift you can give your child as a parent is to help them learn skills to SELF SOOTH!

Few tips if you want to try on your own:
The second you see baby RUBBING eyes that is the first cue your baby is giving you that they are tired. Watch your baby. Record on paper for a few days when they do this. Do notice a pattern? This is what babies do...Babies will look down and start rubbing one or both eyes and start getting quiet. If you wait too much longer after this cue guess what...baby will be OVER tired and then you will have a much harder time getting them to sleep.
Make room a nice temperature (not to cold or hot!)
close blinds or have blackout blind. It is hard to sleep if you have lights shining on your eyes!
Definitely DON'T make house completely silent. It is okay to putter around house and make "gentle" noises. Don't be rude by banging pots and pans ect, but use common sense.
Babies cry. It is how they express themselves. Your job is to reassure them they are okay and then walk away, reassure them and then walk away ect., Does it take strength, confidence, and energy...you bet! but isn't your baby worth it?? Eventually your baby will understand you always come back but right now it is nap time. So sleep!
Read The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems...it is one of my favorite books and trust me! It will walk you through all of the many cues babies give us. It will help you understand, support, love and nurture your babies needs without taking over!

Good Luck!

I could have wrote this

To me, it would seem like common sense to prepare you child for daycare but apparently, not preparing them for daycare, or LIFE is the new normal, it seems.

But what still baffles me is why anyone would WANT to have such a needy child like this.... My own babies were happy, slept in cribs and through the night most of the time and were generally fun to be around.

And now that most of my own children are grown, have college degrees, are independent, happy, have very good jobs, spouses and are decent, contributing, functioning members of society.

Isn't this what we all want for our children? Doesn't this "training" begin at birth?

Thankfully, for me I can pick and choose who I enroll into my childcare and choose not to deal with those types of families if I don't want to, but my point of this is that 20 years ago when I was a relatively new provider, I didn't have luxury to to pick and choose who I cared for. And, today, if I were a new provider just starting out in the business, honestly, if those kinds of families were all I had to choose from, I would have chosen a different career path. Spending my day with needy, unhappy kids, is not the way I choose to spend my day. Same goes for needy, unhappy adults.

My 2 cents.

[mpb12]

I love putting them to bed wide awake and seeing how long it takes for all of them to be out. Bout two to three minutes!

Agree on that with you!!happyface