Co-Sleeping, Stroller Sleeping, or Car Seat Sleeping

[Daycaregranny]

I never wore a baby. It was never part of my parenting or caregiving. One of my parents did however. I have a pretty piece of property and she would at times pick up her kids and walk around it. One day she went for one of these walks and wiped out wearing the baby!!! It freaked me out seeing her fall in my driveway with her baby like that. Luckily they both were ok but she has not worn her baby at my house since.

[redvispa]

There are mountains of evidence that wearing a baby is beneficial to them in many ways. I wore all my kids, and amazingly enough, they are well adjusted, loving human beings who are independent and successful, (Ages: 30,26,25,23,21,18,14,12) and not only in sleeping, but in life. If it isn't for you, fine, no problem, but there is no reason to react as though there is some harm being done to the child.

Amen!

[Play Care]

Such American ethnocentrism... You might want to explain this "fad" to the millions of women around the world who have been wearing their babies for centuries. Surely they have also been doing things wrong.

But she didn't say it was wrong - she is saying it's just different. And we are not talking about women in other countries but the US/Canada where baby wearing IS a relativity new concept.

[nannyde]

Such American ethnocentrism... You might want to explain this "fad" to the millions of women around the world who have been wearing their babies for centuries. Surely they have also been doing things wrong.

But carrying OTHER people's kids? Is that common and where? Are you saying grandmothers carry their grandchildren as a cultural norm? What about non relatives carrying other people's kids?

In my State we would not be allowed to let a baby sleep in a wrap. Iowa law is VERY specific. We can't even hold them when they are sleeping. They must be put on a flat surface sleeping device immediately when they fall asleep.

It's one of my fave regs because it eliminates the parent requests to rock or hold their baby during nap time. Here they HAVE to sleep on their backs with no exceptions (other than doc notes which I don't do).

I'm not against what you do in ANY way. I love personalizing care. I just can't imagine how my poor back would feel carrying around a 23 pound seven month old who is not tall. ouch I can't imagine carrying around the hefty floppers either. ouch

[Angelsj]

But she didn't say it was wrong - she is saying it's just different. And we are not talking about women in other countries but the US/Canada where baby wearing IS a relativity new concept.

But it isn't. I have been wearing babies for more than 30 years, and so have the majority of my friends. We also co-slept, fed them raw, healthy foods, and partially vaccinated. And we home schooled! It isn't new, just louder.

[Annalee]

But carrying OTHER people's kids? Is that common and where? Are you saying grandmothers carry their grandchildren as a cultural norm? What about non relatives carrying other people's kids?

In my State we would not be allowed to let a baby sleep in a wrap. Iowa law is VERY specific. We can't even hold them when they are sleeping. They must be put on a flat surface sleeping device immediately when they fall asleep.

It's one of my fave regs because it eliminates the parent requests to rock or hold their baby during nap time. Here they HAVE to sleep on their backs with no exceptions (other than doc notes which I don't do).

I'm not against what you do in ANY way. I love personalizing care. I just can't imagine how my poor back would feel carrying around a 23 pound seven month old who is not tall. ouch I can't imagine carrying around the hefty floppers either. ouch

I do NOT want to sound heartless. I am from a large family who would give the shirt off the back to to do for others. But, this entire thread has made me realize that sometimes it is NOT about the KID. If a parent wants to be a baby-wearer, so be it. BUT if I choose not to do that, I am not a horrible person/provider/friend. I think parents many times are the "needy" ones. It seems it is THEIR kid, THEIR kid and THEIR kid which is selfish to those around them including their child. When I come in this morning, this was evident. Two parents were here and both felt I had to PICK UP/take their child from them. They are 3 years old. The children are taught to be needy as well. I feel this is a negative trait being passed on to our children. Just my thoughts!

[Play Care]

But it isn't. I have been wearing babies for more than 30 years, and so have the majority of my friends. We also co-slept, fed them raw, healthy foods, and partially vaccinated. And we home schooled! It isn't new, just louder.

Thus my use of the word "relatively" Certainly certain circles have been doing those things for years, but it has NOT been the norm for *most* parents. It IS becoming more mainstream - it's louder because more people are claiming they do those things.

[Unregistered]

Huh... I spent 4 months wearing toddlers to sleep. At one point I had to wear one on my front, one on my back, sit on a bouncy ball and bounce them to sleep while holding one's hand....40 pounds of toddler on my 120 pound frame! Fortunately one is sleep trained now, but I have to lay in bed with the other for 30-60 minutes holding her hand till she falls asleep. I always have somebody in the Ergo on my back... I have some very high-needs toddlers, one (my own) with some extreme sensory issues. I do what I do to make it through the day!

I am unlicensed and I'm sure that's why one parent sought me out in particular - she was and still is reluctant to sleep-train her daughter so I can technically co-sleep with her in a bed.

[nannyde]

Huh... I spent 4 months wearing toddlers to sleep. At one point I had to wear one on my front, one on my back, sit on a bouncy ball and bounce them to sleep while holding one's hand....40 pounds of toddler on my 120 pound frame! Fortunately one is sleep trained now, but I have to lay in bed with the other for 30-60 minutes holding her hand till she falls asleep. I always have somebody in the Ergo on my back... I have some very high-needs toddlers, one (my own) with some extreme sensory issues. I do what I do to make it through the day!

I am unlicensed and I'm sure that's why one parent sought me out in particular - she was and still is reluctant to sleep-train her daughter so I can technically co-sleep with her in a bed.

In my state it doesn't matter if you are registered or not. What you do would be against the law.

[Leanna]

In my state it doesn't matter if you are registered or not. What you do would be against the law.

I am confused by this. Is there no legally unlicensed in your state? If there is, how would an unlicensed provider be regulated or under any laws?

[BrooklynM]

Let me start off by saying that I fully believe it's hard to be a parent and I'm not passing judgement in any way, shape or form. My father is a Coroner and one of the top SIDS, now referred to as SUIDS investigator in the state. When I was pregnant 15 years ago with my first child, my dad put together some examples of real stories, not to scare me but to show me what has actually happened. I never nor will ever condone co-sleeping with a newborn ever. If you are holding a baby on its back and you wide awake, enjoy your precious baby, but don't fall asleep yourself. I had a bassinet next to my bed so when the baby woke up, I just picked her up to nurse her. Rolling on top of babies happens all of the time not to mention being suffocated by pillows or blankets. There was also a case that involved a girl I had gone to school with- she was sleeping with her baby and the baby rolled off the bed and ended up dying because she hit her head so hard (remember babies have large heads for their little bodies). This was on top of carpet. Their brains are very fragile. The baby had just turned 1 month old. Tragic. It never had to happen. Why risk any of it? When you live with a Coroner as a father and the phone rings in the middle of the night you always know someone died. They don't call the coroner unless it's a suspicious death or the person hasn't been under medical care. I've seen a lot and most all of the cases were preventable. There are risks we take everyday- driving, etc that we can't avoid nor am I saying we should live in a bubble, but when it comes time for babies, I cannot even imagine risking my baby's life. I'm sorry if I am coming across judgmental or rude, that's not my intention, but if I can in anyway save one baby's life, I owe it to them to speak up.

As far as wearing babies go, I don't really understand that fully. I've used a front pack from time to time going places but not everyday. It's horrible for your back and shoulders number one and number two, isn't it our job as parents to raise independent adults eventually? I don't know, I just think kids need to learn independence. You can teach independence with security of being there in a way that is loving and healthy for you both.

[nannyde]

I am confused by this. Is there no legally unlicensed in your state? If there is, how would an unlicensed provider be regulated or under any laws?

Search iowa regs thru the iowa department of human services. They have registered and non registered regs. The minimum standards are very similiar. The sleep regs are laws so they apply to any child care provider. You can be non registered but you must abide by the same safety regs. If you look at the handbook for non registered you will see the regs. Not registered doesn't mean you don't have to follow the law.

[Annalee]

Search iowa regs thru the iowa department of human services. They have registered and non registered regs. The minimum standards are very similiar. The sleep regs are laws so they apply to any child care provider. You can be non registered but you must abide by the same safety regs. If you look at the handbook for non registered you will see the regs. Not registered doesn't mean you don't have to follow the law.

Daycares here can't even open now unless they have the SIDS training....It is a major violation if licensing comes in and the baby is asleep anywhere but on their back in a bed with the blanket only up to their chest. The first thing licensing does when entering my daycare is look into the beds.

[Unregistered]

This is my first time posting on this forum and I can definitely tell I'm a fish out of water with my attachment parenting techniques. Co-sleeping and baby-wearing are terrific techniques to raising a happy, healthy, independent child with close connections to their parents. In fact, every kid I watch calls me "Momma!" on a daily basis! I love each child I watch with all my heart and whatever I do is for their best interest (heck, I even used to donate breast milk to one of them when they were younger - in addition to dozens of other local babies!! - long before I knew I'd be nannying them one day!). I guess you can call me a "shared nanny" versus a daycare.

Someone commented how baby carriers are bad for your back - not if you purchase the right kind! I use Ergo carriers with distribute the weight across my shoulders, chest, and hips. I'm 5'4" and 120 lbs. and today I had one strapped on my back, one strapped on my front...I felt like I could go at least an hour like that if needed!

I have a college education (BA of Elementary Education) and know the risks of SIDS. The parents of the little girl I watch are both well-educated scientists and am sure they know the risks as well. Each kid I tend to is going on 2 years old, so we're not talking newborn co-sleeping here. Still, there are risks...just as there are risks with crib sleeping!

I respect the way that others choose to implement rules in their daycare business - some by choice, some not! I'm glad I live in a community that is very supportive of attachment parenting and support what I do with the kids I babysit

[Heidi]

Such American ethnocentrism... You might want to explain this "fad" to the millions of women around the world who have been wearing their babies for centuries. Surely they have also been doing things wrong.

Funny choice of words...I'm not American.


Honestly, though, I DO get what you're saying. I realize that in a lot of cultures it IS common practice. But, I believe in those cultures, in born of necessity, and even if no longer necessary for the baby's safety, it's part of their culture. In our culture, it's a fad. We actually have the luxury of making it a choice (and even arguing about it). THAT"S American Ethnocentrism...::

You can carry your babies and I can roll my eyes at you about it (maybe a little), and we can act like it really matters in the long run of their development. In reality, it's probably a minor blip on their developmental radar, KWIM? Your kids and my kids are well-adjusted because we loved them, nurtured them, encouraged them, and made sure their bellies were full and they got enough rest. There are people in THIS country who can't or won't do those things, much less debate baby wearing.


I really wasn't attacking your decision to carry you babies, and we clearly got side-tracked on this thread (as we often do). I apologize if I offended you. Oh, and sorry, OP! As far as daycare goes, yeah, don't bring me your worn, co-slept baby and expect them to be very happy with me! I haven't actually had that happen yet, though.

I have had a "swing sleeper", in fact, he's still here, and it's been a long 6 months. We're getting there, though. I say the hardest part (for both of us) is behind us. He's sitting up now...crawling soon, I hope, and then watch out, world!