When You Don't Tell The DCP But The Child Does

[daycare]

SO I try to keep what happens here at DC to myself, unless it was something that harmed a child in anyway. LIke a child fell, or a child hurt another child. Or if it is something that I feels warrants the parents to know how their child is behaving while here.

If I had to report every little thing that went wrong with each and every child I would be sitting behind the computer typing up reports a mile long.

So DCM asked me why I didnt tell her that her child had to sit at a different table than the rest of the kids yesterday, her child told her.

I told her that I could not inform her of every happening here and that I only tried to inform the parents of issues that I feel need their attention.

She was not happy about the answer and asked her what would you like me to do....Of course no response..

How do you handle these types of situations when you chose not to tell the parents, but the kids are old enough to tell their parents???

BTW the reason the child had to sit at a different table was becuase he was kicking the other kids legs under the table during eating time and would not stop when asked.

[mac60]

I too don't tell every little detail, same as you. I have also told parents well, there are two sides to every story, and before you believe what little Johnny says, please ask.

So what did she say when you told her what he was doing.

[Zoe]

I don't feel the parents need to know every detail of the day. Even the most angelic of kids mess up sometimes. If we told the parents every little thing that happened (like today my sweet angel ran once, tattled 5 times, accidentally hit someone with a toy.....) the parent would think their child was this monster who was doing terribly at daycare, when that really isn't the case.

I guess my advice would be to just mention it if they ask, then explain that it was a minor thing and just part of the day at daycare. It doesn't reflect how they are at all times and doesn't warrant a daily note. Then reassure them that when something does happen that is important, of course, the parent would be notified.

[daycare]

I too don't tell every little detail, same as you. I have also told parents well, there are two sides to every story, and before you believe what little Johnny says, please ask.

So what did she say when you told her what he was doing.

I told her that he was having table issues and that he needed to be seperated not only becasue he was kicking the children, but he was also not listening to me when I asked him to stop doing it.

She looked at me and said well I should have been told...

So I asked her what would you like me to do when something happens here at daycare? She did not respond and I did not either....I just walked away and tended to the other kids here...

[Cat Herder]

First, I do have to say that If I had to separate a child from the group during meal time because he was kicking other children it would have been a big deal and the parent would have been notified.

Violence of ANY kind is not tolerated here. Play violence or intended, it equals the same discipline to me.

If he had been separated because he had a runny nose and kept wiping it across the table grossing everyone else out... I probably would have kept that one to myself.

It comes down to what is the biggest issue to both the parent and provider. YKWIM?

It is a bit of a Grey topic....:confused:

[daycare]

First, I do have to say that If I had to separate a child from the group during meal time because he was kicking other children it would have been a big deal and the parent would have been notified.

Violence of ANY kind is not tolerated here. Play violence or intended, it equals the same discipline to me.

If he had been separated because he had a runny nose and kept wiping it across the table grossing everyone else out... I probably would have kept that one to myself.

It comes down to what is the biggest issue to both the parent and provider. YKWIM?

It is a bit of a Grey topic....:confused:

He was not kicking them hurting them, he was just doing the swing your legs to kick the chairs they were sitting in and at times would make contact with the child's legs. No one was hurt. It was more disruptive than anything...

and yes it is a very grey area...

[Lianne]

If I've dealt with a situation during daycare hours, I rarely tells the parents because it's already been dealt with and is over and done. I'll only include the parents if there is an ongoing issue.

[Meyou]

This has happened a couple of times with me. I just tell the truth. A million things happen in a day and I only tell them about the dangerous ones most of the time because the rest is just part of my job. Then I explain the specific situation they're asking about so they have the grownup version not the 4 year old version.

The only thing I've mentioned to a parent so far this week that was negative was yesterday when DCB 1 taught DCB2 to pee in the lake. I get to them in my count and there are two little bums facing me, two streams of pee going into the lake and the one of the lifeguards storming across the beach!! Hahahaha. We had a talk about proper places to pee.

[daycare]

lmao that is super funny!! But yes warrants a talk about the right place to use the bathroom..

[Meeko]

I tell the parents that there must be a happy medium.

I will tell them if it is something that concerns me enough. I let the children know that their parents and I are in cahoots with each other and that Mom and Dad WILL be told if necessary.

On the other hand...a child needs to feel they can trust me and I am not going to snitch on every tiny move they made during the day. Many things are dealt with straight away and there is no need to bring it up again at the end of day.

[daycare]

I tell the parents that there must be a happy medium.

I will tell them if it is something that concerns me enough. I let the children know that their parents and I are in cahoots with each other and that Mom and Dad WILL be told if necessary.

On the other hand...a child needs to feel they can trust me and I am not going to snitch on every tiny move they made during the day. Many things are dealt with straight away and there is no need to bring it up again at the end of day.

I think that I need to tell the mom this... I need a happy medium... I will let them know when things happen that I feel are necessary and that the parents need to be informed, otherwise please understand that I am not able to report everything that happens here.

I will never hold back any information that I feel a parent should know

[jojosmommy]

I tell my parents only believe 50% of what your child says at daycare and I only believe 50% of what they tell me happens at home.

I also remind them that it is my job to deal with issues that come up and unless they warrant parent input then I deal with them appropriately on my own.

[JenNJ]

First, I do have to say that If I had to separate a child from the group during meal time because he was kicking other children it would have been a big deal and the parent would have been notified.

Yeah. Any violence is reported to the parents that afternoon. I want the parents to know so that they can work on the behaviors at home. I want and need that back up from the parents.

If I was the dc mom, I would be annoyed as well. I want to know if my kid has behavior issues so I can deal with it.

[nannyde]

First, I do have to say that If I had to separate a child from the group during meal time because he was kicking other children it would have been a big deal and the parent would have been notified.

Violence of ANY kind is not tolerated here. Play violence or intended, it equals the same discipline to me.

If he had been separated because he had a runny nose and kept wiping it across the table grossing everyone else out... I probably would have kept that one to myself.

It comes down to what is the biggest issue to both the parent and provider. YKWIM?

It is a bit of a Grey topic....:confused:

Trust me

She would have known about this before she came to pick him up. I believe in full ratting out.... live... as it happens.

If he didn't mind me or was mean to the kids I would tell on him.

Now if it was the FIRST time he was swinging his legs under the table then I would tell him to quit it. If he stopped it then no ratting out. If he was doing it a second time or a second day in a row then I would tell them.

If he didn't mind me ANY time he would be told on.

[Crazy8]

I tell my parents only believe 50% of what your child says at daycare and I only believe 50% of what they tell me happens at home.

I also remind them that it is my job to deal with issues that come up and unless they warrant parent input then I deal with them appropriately on my own.

I agree with this. Maybe it was the way you answered that she wasn't happy with?? I would have explained it wasn't really that big of an issue at the time and because it was handled hours earlier and wasn't a constant issue with the child you didn't feel the need to bring it up again. Reassure her that if there are serious issues with a child you will bring them to her attention but that kids will be kids and everyone will need a little discipline sometimes and that you'd be sitting there for hours with each parent if you had to describe each of them at the end of the day!

I do give parents a heads up any time a child is given a time out or separated like that though - because I don't have to do it that often.