Praying.........

[daycare]

Former teacher's story reminded me of this..

I live in a mostly Muslim neighborhood. On Saturday, some Jehova's witnesses were out speaking to the neighbors. Two of them were very young.. like maybe 17. When they got to our house, my husband was already in the yard trimming trees. One of the young guys said "Oh, please tell me you aren't Muslim???" My husband said "It depends on what you are selling" The older men with them looked at the poor kid with withering glares. LOL

lmao that is too funny....

I dont ever care to discuss religion with anyone NOt ever.... Where I am from, you can't openly discuss different religions so I just avoid all conflict by not talking about it.... Well other than my own family.... and even then sometimes we get into heated debates...

[Unregistered]

This is why prayer was taken out of the public schools and a lot of people want to take the word "under God" out of the pledge of allegiance. It's also why the ten commandments was taken out of the court house. I don't know why these things should be so offensive. If a person doesn't believe in God, then why would it bother them if someone said a prayer or the words "under God" in the pledge, etc? It's kinda like Santa Claus (would the mom be mad if another little girl told her's that Santa really was real?). I know that's a really bad comparison, since Santa isn't real, but in this mom's opinion neither one would be. I can understand if the child had taught her a bad word she didn't want her to know, but a prayer?! If it's not real, then why would it matter so much to her? I guess I'm not getting it. To this mom, why would a prayer be any different than a story, poem, rhyme, or finger play? How could someone tell a child not to talk to God while they're at daycare? To a little child who doesn't understand (which apparently I don't either ), it'd be like trying to tell them that they can't talk about their mom or dad at daycare. Her little girl is going to run across things like this all her life. She will in either public or private school, in her workplaces among co-workers or customers (no matter where she works), just in the general public, period. I mean, go out to eat, and they will likely see or hear someone praying before they eat.
So my advice is to just let the mom know it wasn't you who taught it to her. That should be enough. I would have been shocked too and had to take a minute to figure out what to say. She doesn't need any explanation or "plan of action".

[daycare]

update

So I called DCP that made the complaint and basically told her that I was not aware that the conversation ever took place and that I was not able to monitor every conversation that takes place here.

I then went on to tell her that I will ask the child (the prayer, ) to save her prayers for special time with mom and dad. That I don't want to discourage her from her prayers or beliefs, but I would just tell the prayer how nice it was and that we need to share those at home. Invite them to tell a different kind of story.

I then went on to tell her that she has to understand that we all come from different walks of life and that I feel it is the parents place to teach their child about religion, I could not promise that it would not happen again.

She said she understood that, but said that she feels that my DC is not the place for these kinds of discussion and that she was even uncomfortable about discussing it with me...I laughed and agreed with her.

I told her that i was sorry (yes I am a butt kisser ) and that I would do my best to keep religion at home, again with out discouraging it..........ugggh does that even make sense??

So it went over ok. She did said that after we got off the phone the first time that she realized she was over reacting just a little bit.... thank god...oh wait can I say that? jk

[PitterPatter]

So I called DCP that made the complaint and basically told her that I was not aware that the conversation ever took place and that I was not able to monitor every conversation that takes place here.

I then went on to tell her that I will ask the child (the prayer, ) to save her prayers for special time with mom and dad. That I don't want to discourage her from her prayers or beliefs, but I would just tell the prayer how nice it was and that we need to share those at home. Invite them to tell a different kind of story.

I then went on to tell her that she has to understand that we all come from different walks of life and that I feel it is the parents place to teach their child about religion, I could not promise that it would not happen again.

She said she understood that, but said that she feels that my DC is not the place for these kinds of discussion and that she was even uncomfortable about discussing it with me...I laughed and agreed with her.

I told her that i was sorry (yes I am a butt kisser ) and that I would do my best to keep religion at home, again with out discouraging it..........ugggh does that even make sense??

So it went over ok. She did said that after we got off the phone the first time that she realized she was over reacting just a little bit.... thank god...oh wait can I say that? jk

LOL I wonder what issues she will have with a jr/high school when the kid gets there.

I would never sit and teach prayers but when they are shared I don't mind. It's usually brief little kid type prayers anyway. "dear Lord we thank u for our food amen" I would never discourage a childs prayers. There's too much negativity, anger, hate etc in this world now. If a child is leaning towards the good I say let her have her freedom of speech, as long as she's not a preachin! :: Can I get an amen? ~running away~

[daycare]

lmao that was funny.... Yeah I don't really know what parents think is going to happen when thier child starts public school..... Do they think that the teacher won't do something becuse "of their" child? Or change a lesson for "their child".

It's called AMERICA people.... sorry

[Kaddidle Care]

So I just got off of the phone with a DCP. She was really upset that one of the other children in DC taught her child a prayer.

So ladies what woud you do in this situation?

I think it's very sad that this parent felt this was a reason to complain. To the child, if he/she's young enough, a prayer is no different than a nursery rhyme.

she was even uncomfortable about discussing it with me...

Perhaps, deep down she realizes she is being a nit picker.

Please do not discourage the child that offered up prayer. Lord knows we all can use as many prayers as we can these days.

Just wait until her little darling comes home off the school bus saying the "f" word.

If something so small as a prayer sets her off then she's in for a wild ride in life.

[ammama]

I teach all my kids a few prayers - but not religious ones. We say them at meal time, to give thanks to the earth for all that we have, but they really are in no way religious at all. Maybe you come up with a little one to teach the kids that they can say together. It would fill their need for something higher, without offending any of the parents? Maybe? Of course, you can't please everyone, and there is no point in trying

Dear Earth, who gives to us this food
Dear Sun, who makes it ripe and good
Dear Earth, Dear Sun, by you we live
Our loving thanks to you we give

[daycare]

I love that little poem.... I think that I could get away with that making sure that I was clear that it was just a poem and not a prayer...

[Country Kids]

This saddens me so much that the little girl is being discouraged from doing something so sweet and very innocent at her age. To tell her to keep her prayers for mommy and daddy just is very, very sad. What she thought was a good thing is being now turned around and in her mind make her think what she did was bad.

I for once would love for someone when they are addessed with an issue like this is to stick up for the one with a belief-prayers, Bible reading, talking about Jesus, etc. Right away it was as if the offended one had all the rights and it better end right there or else. That is just wrong in my opinion.

Also what are you going to do when the parents of the little girl who prayed ask you why she isn't allowed to pray? I know it is very hard to be stuck between the middle but I would have probably told the complaining parent that you don't run a religious childcare but you will have children with it in their life. Then let them know that you are there to provide care for many children and you can't single out one child because of their beliefs.

I had a friend who did run a childcare and had a religious curriculum, prayed, read Bible storie, the whole bit. Everyone in the childcare knew this and then one day a parent decided she didn't want that for her child and would my friend change it. Ah, no I don't think so. The parent finally left seeing she wouldn't win the fight.

So you might be prepared for the parents of the other little girl to have questions for you. You are going to really need to explain it the best you can or you might lose this little girl. You never know how parents may react to something like this or how the little girl may start acting since she may feel like she did something bad.

[daycare]

This saddens me so much that the little girl is being discouraged from doing something so sweet and very innocent at her age. To tell her to keep her prayers for mommy and daddy just is very, very sad. What she thought was a good thing is being now turned around and in her mind make her think what she did was bad.

I for once would love for someone when they are addessed with an issue like this is to stick up for the one with a belief-prayers, Bible reading, talking about Jesus, etc. Right away it was as if the offended one had all the rights and it better end right there or else. That is just wrong in my opinion.

Also what are you going to do when the parents of the little girl who prayed ask you why she isn't allowed to pray? I know it is very hard to be stuck between the middle but I would have probably told the complaining parent that you don't run a religious childcare but you will have children with it in their life. Then let them know that you are there to provide care for many children and you can't single out one child because of their beliefs.

I had a friend who did run a childcare and had a religious curriculum, prayed, read Bible storie, the whole bit. Everyone in the childcare knew this and then one day a parent decided she didn't want that for her child and would my friend change it. Ah, no I don't think so. The parent finally left seeing she wouldn't win the fight.

So you might be prepared for the parents of the other little girl to have questions for you. You are going to really need to explain it the best you can or you might lose this little girl. You never know how parents may react to something like this or how the little girl may start acting since she may feel like she did something bad.

trust me i completely undertand what you are saying. I have never dealt with this type of situation before and really didnt know how to resolve it.

I hear what you are saying and do feel the same about not allowing the child to say prayers here. It is so hard to explain this to a child and I am still trying to find ways to better handle the situation.

However, I will NEVER discuss or teach religon. I don't know anything about the religon of the children in my care and the two things in life I dont discuss are religion and politics... Religion is for the parents to discuss with their children, not me...won't even open that can of worms.

I was thinking that I could ask the prayer to pray with her our class bear. We tell him everything. This way she won't feel that it is wrong, I dont ever want to discourage a child from their beliefs....
this is such a touchy subject and really don't like talking about it....

I will not address the family of the child that was praying, becuase praying is not wrong and after thought, don't feel that I need to address it with them. It would only cause conflict and it's not necessary.

honestly, I still think I need to take some time to figure this one out, as it just happened today.

do you have any suggestions on how to better resolve it? I am open to advice

[QualiTcare]

this is sad. my parents didn't go to church when i was a child and i never asked many questions, but i did attend church with my grandmother (who was catholic) and my aunt (who was baptist) on a regular basis.

when i was about 13 i told my aunt, "i don't feel anything when the preacher is preaching. i don't feel anything when everyone is praying. i really don't want to go to church anymore." she had the preacher talk to me and he said something like, "sometimes you can't feel the wind, but you can see the leaves moving" blah blah. his sermon didn't work. i stopped going to church and haven't been back. it's not for me. i consider myself to be agnostic. i can't say that "God" doesn't exist (there's no way to prove he doesn't) but i also don't believe that he does - which there's also no way to prove.

however, i live in the bible belt. when kids at school asked what church i went to and i told them i didn't go, i thought they might die. for that reason, and because of the fact i want my children to make up their OWN minds - i let them attend church with my aunt. they talk about "God" often and they have no clue what i believe or don't believe.

what's so funny is that christians are supposed to be so "tolerant" but i imagine they'd have a cow if their child who was born into a christian family didn't believe in god. however, i don't believe in god, and i send my kids to church. isn't that something?

[daycare]

this is sad. my parents didn't go to church when i was a child and i never asked many questions, but i did attend church with my grandmother (who was catholic) and my aunt (who was baptist) on a regular basis.

when i was about 13 i told my aunt, "i don't feel anything when the preacher is preaching. i don't feel anything when everyone is praying. i really don't want to go to church anymore." she had the preacher talk to me and he said something like, "sometimes you can't feel the wind, but you can see the leaves moving" blah blah. his sermon didn't work. i stopped going to church and haven't been back. it's not for me. i consider myself to be agnostic. i can't say that "God" doesn't exist (there's no way to prove he doesn't) but i also don't believe that he does - which there's also no way to prove.

however, i live in the bible belt. when kids at school asked what church i went to and i told them i didn't go, i thought they might die. for that reason, and because of the fact i want my children to make up their OWN minds - i let them attend church with my aunt. they talk about "God" often and they have no clue what i believe or don't believe.

what's so funny is that christians are supposed to be so "tolerant" but i imagine they'd have a cow if their child who was born into a christian family didn't believe in god. however, i don't believe in god, and i send my kids to church. isn't that something?

My husband is exactly like you. I think that it is fair of you to allow for your children to decide for themselves. In my country were I was born there was no choice for me.

I feel that it was awful of that parent to ask me to tell a child not to pray! Wtheck really? I guess the way I see it is that this America land of the free.

Some of the people that I admire the
Most here in the US are the ones that knock on all the doors in my neighborhood to share their beliefs. Where I came from you would not make it off the door step alive if you did this.

I hope that the parent that complained realizes how silly she is being and will realize that children will say whatever whenever and they don't see praying as a deed to be done in private. I am still shocked about the request.

[daycare]

Sorry I can't edit my post

I meant to say that I admire the people who knock on the doors to share their religious beliefs..

[QualiTcare]

there are very few people who know i don't believe in god. i have people i've known for years that don't know - not because i'm ashamed, but because i don't feel that it's important to share. my first boyfriend was a muslim. i was best friends with someone (who wasn't my bf only because i already had one) who was a mormon. i've always opened my door to mormons (bc they come knocking at the door) and i'm respectful, but i let them know they're wasting their time.

i just think it's totally unfair that children who are born into a religion aren't given a choice. how many children born into a catholic church aren't dragged to church every sunday? likewise, how many children born to atheist/agnostic parents are ALLOWED to go to church? i think if christians are so devout and so sure of their religion then they should have no issues with their children being exposed to other religions. the fact that they don't want them exposed speaks volumes IMO.

[Meyou]

I'm glad she admitted she overreacted.

I've been that parent which I will admit at the risk of sounding unpopular in this thread. I'm not a crazy unreligious fanatic but I am agnostic and I am careful to determine if the info my kids recieve is accurate according to the beliefs of my household. I also am equally careful to explain and help them understand the differences between religions and beliefs.

When my oldest started school I called her teacher once near Christmas when my dd came home and told me I was a big, fat liar because Ms. C said that God created the earth etc, etc. Now I didn't freak like your parent did...I just asked for the context of the lesson. It turns out they were reading creation myths because the holiday concert was multinational and of numerous religious demoninations. All good and kinda cool. I sat my dd down and we had a talk about how different people believe different things and all was well in our little world again.

My oldest dd now attends two different churches occasionally with two of her friends and is exporing her own path. I considered myself her guide to an open mind until she was ready to take over. Whatever she choses is all good with me as long as she can respect that we may have different beliefs.

When I was younger and less sure of myself as a parent and in my spiritual path (or lack thereof) I was VERY defensive about my beliefs and how they affected my children. Now...not so much. I've had the "You lied to me!" happen more than once since the first time and I've realized that they're going to be exposed to alot of things I don't agree with and I can live with that. I'm secure enough that I can explain myself to them or I can live with the fact that what Keona (a 7 year old) told my 7 yr old HAS to be the TRUTH because HER MAMA told her. Lol Even I can see the inconsistancy there of expecting my kids to believe only me when her mama must be right too.

I hope I shed some light on the other side.