Praying.........

[daycare]

So I just got off of the phone with a DCP. She was really upset that one of the other children in DC taught her child a prayer.

I do not offer a religous program and have never had this issue before. In my DC we come from all walks of life, very different back grounds...

I was so caught off guard by this complaint, that I had to cut off the DCP and come up with a white lie to get her off the phone. I really needed to think this over and talk to someone else about how to go about how to deal with it......

So ladies what woud you do in this situation?

[Zoe]

That's tough. She may have been checking that it wasn't you who was "pushing religion" on her child. I would just reassure her that you keep it neutral in your daycare out of respect for all beliefs. However children don't understand that people have different beliefs at this age, so it's very innocent when they talk about God.

Honestly, that's all you can do IMHO. It's not like you should be discouraging a child who is sharing prayers. Once a kid learns something new regarding religion, it's the parents' job to handle it. Not yours. That's my 2 cents.

[daycare]

that sounds like a plan.. I think that I was just shocked about it in the frist place.. I was like well if I didnt teach them then what are you so upset about... It's not liek she came home saying the "F" word. I would never discourage a child from feeling that prayer is wrong, but I guess I can tell them that is something we only share with our mommy and daddy?
Does that sound ok?

[Cat Herder]

Zip...... Hang up a bright colored "Dream Catcher" and let them "pray", "make a wish" or "vent" to it.

Same principle, sorta, and get's you off the hook for the religion discussions with the kiddos.

If you need to avoid the "Native American" aspect (adults are so temperamental these days ) them I remember Barney had a Dream Catcher movie (or the like)...it was an egg that hatched into a "dream catching" stuffed animal of sorts that comforted kids from the clouds with a magic wink.....:confused:

Still, it may help with the issue. All kids like to wish and believe someone out there is listening and understands them, YKWIM? Whether they are taught they are "wishing" to "God", a "Dream Catcher" or a "shooting star", the fantasy aspect of it is still there....

All religion aside.

[Blackcat31]

This is when educating your own child comes into play. It is no different than a child who teaches his playmate on the playground a swear word. YOU teach YOUR child that it is not okay to use the language he has heard/learned from others.

Look at the situation as if you don't know what the parent is referring to only that another kid taught her child something she doesn't like such as a bad word, how to have a sword fight or maybe even how to pick their nose.... How would you or her handle it?

There are all sorts of things out in the big bad world that are not appropriate for certain people and all we can do as a parent is to teach our own children what we, as a family, view as right/wrong or acceptable or not.

In your situation, I would explain it to the mother the same way. Tell her, "I am sorry so and so taught your child ____, but what a great opportuity for you to teach your child what you believe."

You cannot change other people only yourself.

[Symphony]

I have four kids (3 twos and 1 three yr old) that say prayers when they sit at the table for meals, one is mine. I have never initiated or participated in it, but I would never not allow it. Most of my families attend the same church, but two do not.

Saying a prayer before meals is what is normal for these children. It is part of their culture. I would never tell them they aren't allowed to do so.

[daycare]

I have four kids (3 twos and 1 three yr old) that say prayers when they sit at the table for meals, one is mine. I have never initiated or participated in it, but I would never not allow it. Most of my families attend the same church, but two do not.

Saying a prayer before meals is what is normal for these children. It is part of their culture. I would never tell them they aren't allowed to do so.

I totally get where you are coming from and I personally would not mind it... However, now that I know that there are parents that are offended or upset by it, I think it would be best to ask the children to save prayers for family time.....

In this case, I will have to discuss it with both parents and hopefully not create a world war.....

[DBug]

I think I'd rather use this as an opportunity to teach tolerance to the kids AND the parents. You could talk about different cultures and the associated religions, even with relatively young kids.

Idk, I just always prefer to open up dialogue rather than shut it down, kwim? I think it teaches kids to be more accepting of people in general, and not to judge them based on what they believe or how they look or where they come from. Just my 2 cents

[youretooloud]

This always bugs me. I can see if YOU were teaching it, she could be upset.

I had a very, deeply religious boy at one time. The other kids played rescue hero, he played "Paster John". He even pretended to have a pulpit and a microphone. It was adorable!

But, I had one mom get furious because one day she overheard him say "I'll pray for you" when her son was having a meltdown. He genuinely meant that! He wanted to say a prayer for Colten, but Mom was horribly offended.

I stepped in before she could make some mean comment to John... but, she called me before she was out of the neighborhood telling me to "Make that kid stop saying those things Colten". She even mentioned that she wanted to say something to John's mom.

I never did come up with a good way to do that... I just intervened a lot.

[daycare]

I think I'd rather use this as an opportunity to teach tolerance to the kids AND the parents. You could talk about different cultures and the associated religions, even with relatively young kids.

Idk, I just always prefer to open up dialogue rather than shut it down, kwim? I think it teaches kids to be more accepting of people in general, and not to judge them based on what they believe or how they look or where they come from. Just my 2 cents

I have no knowledge of any of the religions here of the children in my care. I honestly feel that this is the parents place to teach them . They would not teach this in a public preschool or grade school. I think it would be too risky. What if i teach a child something and a parent does not agree with it and so on? I think that religion and politics are best kept for the parents to teach and discuss.
Just a can of worms that I don't want to open..not now not ever.....

[ninosqueridos]

yikes, I wouldn't know what to say either

[Former Teacher]

So I just got off of the phone with a DCP. She was really upset that one of the other children in DC taught her child a prayer.

I do not offer a religious program and have never had this issue before. In my DC we come from all walks of life, very different back grounds...

I was so caught off guard by this complaint, that I had to cut off the DCP and come up with a white lie to get her off the phone. I really needed to think this over and talk to someone else about how to go about how to deal with it......

So ladies what woud you do in this situation?

I once had a Jehovah Witness family. The mother didn't want her son to say the Pledge of Allegiance. So every day I would have to take this 4 year old boy out of my classroom. Then it got to point where it was just a hassle. So I suggested he sit by the cubbies while the other children stand. It bothered me that I made him feel like an outsider.

One day his mother confronted me. The boy saw a flag and put his hand over his heart and said the Pledge. His mother was furious! She DEMANDED to know if I made him say the Pledge. Ummm no but he hears and sees it everyday. While I fully respect all religions, I can not and will not change my curriculum just for one child.

This mother didn't want the boy to attend school parties (she kept him home). Oh and on his birthday she didn't want anyone to know but yet she reminded me by whispering to me it was his birthday Anyway that day our cook who knew EVERYONES birthday...gave him a big hug and said happy birthday! before I could say anything. Sad thing was...DCB looked at the cook and said...you can't say that to me.

Oh I can go on and on about this hypercritical mother. She didn't want to celebrate anything but yet she had a different boyfriend each weekend and was out drinking.

[daycare]

I once had a Jehovah Witness family. The mother didn't want her son to say the Pledge of Allegiance. So every day I would have to take this 4 year old boy out of my classroom. Then it got to point where it was just a hassle. So I suggested he sit by the cubbies while the other children stand. It bothered me that I made him feel like an outsider.

One day his mother confronted me. The boy saw a flag and put his hand over his heart and said the Pledge. His mother was furious! She DEMANDED to know if I made him say the Pledge. Ummm no but he hears and sees it everyday. While I fully respect all religions, I can not and will not change my curriculum just for one child.

This mother didn't want the boy to attend school parties (she kept him home). Oh and on his birthday she didn't want anyone to know but yet she reminded me by whispering to me it was his birthday Anyway that day our cook who knew EVERYONES birthday...gave him a big hug and said happy birthday! before I could say anything. Sad thing was...DCB looked at the cook and said...you can't say that to me.

Oh I can go on and on about this hypercritical mother. She didn't want to celebrate anything but yet she had a different boyfriend each weekend and was out drinking.

Oh I can go on and on about this hypercritical mother. She didn't want to celebrate anything but yet she had a different boyfriend each weekend and was out drinking. Ug are you serious....that sounds like my DCP that is a dentist, but has a 3.5 year old on the pacy and a 2 year old still on the bottle....hahahahh gotta love it..

[youretooloud]

Former teacher's story reminded me of this..

I live in a mostly Muslim neighborhood. On Saturday, some Jehova's witnesses were out speaking to the neighbors. Two of them were very young.. like maybe 17. When they got to our house, my husband was already in the yard trimming trees. One of the young guys said "Oh, please tell me you aren't Muslim???" My husband said "It depends on what you are selling" The older men with them looked at the poor kid with withering glares. LOL

[grandmom]

IMHO you should tell the mom that you didn't teach the child the prayer. And then remind her that although you did not encourage it, you can not and will not monitor and sensor every conversation children have. The praying child has a right to his/her belief too. And you shouldn't have to tell that child they can't pray at your home.

Just wait till the kid gets to school and can check out books the parent would never choose.... ohmygosh. Don't even get me started.