11.5 Hours A Day In Daycare?

[Unregistered]

oh a half hour commute would be bliss! Unfortunately I live in the DC area, where even if your commute should be a half hour, it is usually an hour or more.

[Meyou]

I don't think it’s unfair to state that, I know "life happens" and the tough gets going when the going gets tough. I just don't offer services to those families anymore, as I don't think it is fair to the child.
I do feel that adults should be the one to have to make sacrifices. Why is it necessary for every family to have to keep up with the Jones’s?

I was once a single parent with two kids for a long length of time and I had to do what I had to do to make ends meet. But I did not let that stop me from coaching their soccer teams, spending quality time with them outside of work and so forth. I went without a lot of stuff and lived my life for my children. I could have worked the 45 hour work week plus commute time, as I lived in Orange County and that is commute He!!....

But it was not my children's fault and therefore I gave up everything I could that would help better their lives. I sold my fancy car and bought a used one, I kept healthy so I could wear the same clothes for 10years.. I did everything in my power to make sure that dad and I were the one's raising them. When they were at dad's I worked more hours, worked weekends or odd jobs to make ends meet.

Parents don't stop to think about who is really affected and just except that working 12+ hour days as their way of life.......
I think that it is selfish and sad............ I know that if I could do this with two young kids as a single mom and finishing school at the same time that ANYONE could do it too.

If only parents realized that their kids really only want time with their mom/dad to be held, read to, played with, sang to or just be near them, parents would not be killing themself to work many hours to buy all of the uncessary things...........

Been there, done that and proud to say I survived. It changes your perspective to what someone CAN do rather than what they can't.

[nannyde]

I have parents who need 11 hours of care. They work and commute. I'm open, so I offer them what they need.

See this is what I don't get.

You stand firm that develomentally approriate programs are what all programs should be. You have shared that you are an evaluator of programs as a part of your living.

How can you suggest that it is EVER developmentally appropriate for a developmentally appropriate program to ALLOW eleven hour days? Doesn't that completely defy developmentally appropriate?

Where is it on your evaluation tools that asks "how many hours per day does each child in this program attend?". Shouldn't that be the FIRST question? Shouldn't that be more important than whether or not their is a sand and water table? Shouldn't that matter more than having comfy seating or a "quiet area" for privacy?

When are we going to recognize that it is impossible to be developmentally appropriate when a child is away from their parent that many waking hours a day? When are we going to take a stand and tell parents we just can't do it? It's too much.

There are only twenty four hours in a day. That can't be cheated. If a kid is in your home eleven hours and has transport time home with parents there is no possible way for them to have any substantial DAILY awake face time with their kid.

I do nine hours max. You allow eleven. Just think about the last two hours every day in your program and imagine every single kid being home and awake with their parents.

Now you tell me that you wouldn't prefer that? You tell me it wouldn't make a HUGE difference in the quality of parenting and the quality of YOU and your work?

This isn't something that needs researching... it's plain simple common sense. Children need TIME .... awake TIME.. every day with their parents.

I won't be a part of any care that means that at the end of the week the kid is in my care more hours awake than they are in the parents care a week awake.

I'm not talking about sleeping times... I'm talking about awake hours. Not counting nap... not counting sleeping at night... AWAKE hours.

We need to be the ones to take a stand and say we won't do it. We won't be a part of any system that promotes that much time in care. Sure people have busy lives .... they have to work... but the message needs to be sent before the kid is even conceived that the "BEST" child care won't allow eleven hour days because the best know it's not in the BEST interest of the kids.

[daycare]

See this is what I don't get.

You stand firm that develomentally approriate programs are what all programs should be. You have shared that you are an evaluator of programs as a part of your living.

How can you suggest that it is EVER developmentally appropriate for a developmentally appropriate program to ALLOW eleven hour days? Doesn't that completely defy developmentally appropriate?

Where is it on your evaluation tools that asks "how many hours per day does each child in this program attend?". Shouldn't that be the FIRST question? Shouldn't that be more important than whether or not their is a sand and water table? Shouldn't that matter more than having comfy seating or a "quiet area" for privacy?

When are we going to recognize that it is impossible to be developmentally appropriate when a child is away from their parent that many waking hours a day? When are we going to take a stand and tell parents we just can't do it? It's too much.

There are only twenty four hours in a day. That can't be cheated. If a kid is in your home eleven hours and has transport time home with parents there is no possible way for them to have any substantial DAILY awake face time with their kid.

I do nine hours max. You allow eleven. Just think about the last two hours every day in your program and imagine every single kid being home and awake with their parents.

Now you tell me that you wouldn't prefer that? You tell me it wouldn't make a HUGE difference in the quality of parenting and the quality of YOU and your work?

This isn't something that needs researching... it's plain simple common sense. Children need TIME .... awake TIME.. every day with their parents.

I won't be a part of any care that means that at the end of the week the kid is in my care more hours awake than they are in the parents care a week awake.

I'm not talking about sleeping times... I'm talking about awake hours. Not counting nap... not counting sleeping at night... AWAKE hours.

We need to be the ones to take a stand and say we won't do it. We won't be a part of any system that promotes that much time in care. Sure people have busy lives .... they have to work... but the message needs to be sent before the kid is even conceived that the "BEST" child care won't allow eleven hour days because the best know it's not in the BEST interest of the kids.

didnt someone just post an article about children that are in daycare too many hours a day being overly agressive?

[countrymom]

call me stupid, but if one parent works 12 hour shifts, then does the other parent also work 12 hours or do they work in the same place. Do you see what I mean. I find it hard to believe that both parents work 12 hour shift that begin and end at the same time.
Also, I agree with the comment about having kids. If your working 12 hour shifts now, more than likely they were working these shifts before they had children, so many parents know darn well what they are getting into.
Yes its sad that children spend so much time in the care of other people, what makes me more mad are the ones that then have the nerve to complain how bad their children are when they are acually with them.
also, another stupid question, many people who work 12 hour shifts have days off, usually they would work 3 12 hour shift and then have like 4 days off, kwim. What jobs offer long hours, nurses, cops, seasonal workers but what else.

[daycare]

call me stupid, but if one parent works 12 hour shifts, then does the other parent also work 12 hours or do they work in the same place. Do you see what I mean. I find it hard to believe that both parents work 12 hour shift that begin and end at the same time.
Also, I agree with the comment about having kids. If your working 12 hour shifts now, more than likely they were working these shifts before they had children, so many parents know darn well what they are getting into.
Yes its sad that children spend so much time in the care of other people, what makes me more mad are the ones that then have the nerve to complain how bad their children are when they are acually with them.
also, another stupid question, many people who work 12 hour shifts have days off, usually they would work 3 12 hour shift and then have like 4 days off, kwim. What jobs offer long hours, nurses, cops, seasonal workers but what else.

uuuuggghhh just sad so sad is all I can say.. I feel that as everything else, it is a choice to DO or NOT to DO something. Sad that parents chose work over their children becuase that is what they are used to............

[Angelwings36]

See this is what I don't get.

You stand firm that develomentally approriate programs are what all programs should be. You have shared that you are an evaluator of programs as a part of your living.

How can you suggest that it is EVER developmentally appropriate for a developmentally appropriate program to ALLOW eleven hour days? Doesn't that completely defy developmentally appropriate?

Where is it on your evaluation tools that asks "how many hours per day does each child in this program attend?". Shouldn't that be the FIRST question? Shouldn't that be more important than whether or not their is a sand and water table? Shouldn't that matter more than having comfy seating or a "quiet area" for privacy?

When are we going to recognize that it is impossible to be developmentally appropriate when a child is away from their parent that many waking hours a day? When are we going to take a stand and tell parents we just can't do it? It's too much.

There are only twenty four hours in a day. That can't be cheated. If a kid is in your home eleven hours and has transport time home with parents there is no possible way for them to have any substantial DAILY awake face time with their kid.

I do nine hours max. You allow eleven. Just think about the last two hours every day in your program and imagine every single kid being home and awake with their parents.

Now you tell me that you wouldn't prefer that? You tell me it wouldn't make a HUGE difference in the quality of parenting and the quality of YOU and your work?

This isn't something that needs researching... it's plain simple common sense. Children need TIME .... awake TIME.. every day with their parents.

I won't be a part of any care that means that at the end of the week the kid is in my care more hours awake than they are in the parents care a week awake.

I'm not talking about sleeping times... I'm talking about awake hours. Not counting nap... not counting sleeping at night... AWAKE hours.

We need to be the ones to take a stand and say we won't do it. We won't be a part of any system that promotes that much time in care. Sure people have busy lives .... they have to work... but the message needs to be sent before the kid is even conceived that the "BEST" child care won't allow eleven hour days because the best know it's not in the BEST interest of the kids.

I 100% agree with you and that is why the email that I recieved bothered me so much and I really just wanted to say something in response!

[momatheart]

12 hours is way too many hours for any child to be in child care of any age. With that being said, I do understand that parents need to work. But I really think that parents should have thought about that before having kids. Why have a child so someone else can raise your child? I get needing to work, location, and so on, but I think that it is sad that the child knows the provider more than their own parent.

I feel the same way.

Nannyde- I have noticed also that the parents that are on the ball with their kids and have better behaved children are the ones who DO NOT keep their children at our center for longer than a 9 hour day tops. The kids that stay 9.5 to 10+ hours are the worst behaved. Oh and one of them gets about 2hrs home with parents before they put him down for bed. When his behaviors act out and we let the parents know they have the AUDACITY to say well we don't see these behaviors at home. ???? I want to say OMG spend more than 2 hours with him a night. Keep him home on your day off for once. OH that is right he drives you crazy. I have all I can do to NOT say that back to her.

[QualiTcare]

See this is what I don't get.

You stand firm that develomentally approriate programs are what all programs should be. You have shared that you are an evaluator of programs as a part of your living.

How can you suggest that it is EVER developmentally appropriate for a developmentally appropriate program to ALLOW eleven hour days? Doesn't that completely defy developmentally appropriate?

Where is it on your evaluation tools that asks "how many hours per day does each child in this program attend?". Shouldn't that be the FIRST question? Shouldn't that be more important than whether or not their is a sand and water table? Shouldn't that matter more than having comfy seating or a "quiet area" for privacy?

When are we going to recognize that it is impossible to be developmentally appropriate when a child is away from their parent that many waking hours a day? When are we going to take a stand and tell parents we just can't do it? It's too much.

There are only twenty four hours in a day. That can't be cheated. If a kid is in your home eleven hours and has transport time home with parents there is no possible way for them to have any substantial DAILY awake face time with their kid.

I do nine hours max. You allow eleven. Just think about the last two hours every day in your program and imagine every single kid being home and awake with their parents.

Now you tell me that you wouldn't prefer that? You tell me it wouldn't make a HUGE difference in the quality of parenting and the quality of YOU and your work?

This isn't something that needs researching... it's plain simple common sense. Children need TIME .... awake TIME.. every day with their parents.

I won't be a part of any care that means that at the end of the week the kid is in my care more hours awake than they are in the parents care a week awake.

I'm not talking about sleeping times... I'm talking about awake hours. Not counting nap... not counting sleeping at night... AWAKE hours.

We need to be the ones to take a stand and say we won't do it. We won't be a part of any system that promotes that much time in care. Sure people have busy lives .... they have to work... but the message needs to be sent before the kid is even conceived that the "BEST" child care won't allow eleven hour days because the best know it's not in the BEST interest of the kids.

people who obsess over "awake time" are under the assumption that all or most kids go to bed at 8pm apparently. when i was working and going to school my kids were in daycare sometimes from 630-7am until 530-6pm. part of that time i worked at daycare, other times i didn't. they aren't aggresive children, we didn't fail to bond, and they are still young so i have plenty of time left to spend. i've said before the choice to use daycare when they were young was the lesser evil since the alternative was not being educated and working long hours for low pay their entire childhood.

anyway, when they went to daycare at 630-7 i had to wake them up at 5am. that means they were AWAKE with me for 1.5 - 2 hours in the morning as i got them ready, fed them (if they didn't eat at daycare), watched cartoons - whatever. after waking up so early they would take looong naps at daycare. i don't think my kids have ever gone to bed before 10pm. i don't see how it's even possible for a kid who's in daycare until 530 or 6 to be in bed by 8:00 after you factor in commute, dinner, bath, and then a little play time, tv time, winding down - whatever you want to call it.

with the schedule i have now i sometimes go 3 days straight without seeing my kids. THEN i'll be off and don't go to work at all for 7-8 days sometimes.

anyone who thinks if a parent REALLY wants to that they can stay home with their child and not work is delusional (but it's also ironic that they have an income from home) or they had/have a husband with a substantial income. our house is totally 100% paid for. our cars are 100% paid for and they are nothing fancy (1998 gmc truck and 2004 cavalier) and STILL we both have to work.

the "if i can do it so can they" attitude is so out there. everyone doesn't have the same circumstances and if everyone could stay home with their children then nobody would have a job as a daycare provider would they.

[Crystal]

See this is what I don't get.

You stand firm that develomentally approriate programs are what all programs should be. You have shared that you are an evaluator of programs as a part of your living.Of course.

How can you suggest that it is EVER developmentally appropriate for a developmentally appropriate program to ALLOW eleven hour days? Doesn't that completely defy developmentally appropriate?When I speak of developmentally appropriate, I am referring to caring for children based on what are considered developmentally appropriate practices. Providing QUALITY CHILD CARE, QUALITY EARLY EXPERIENCES, in MY program. Nowhere in DAP guidelines does it state that a program should not allow 11 hour days or that I must MAKE a parent comply to my demands.

Where is it on your evaluation tools that asks "how many hours per day does each child in this program attend?". Shouldn't that be the FIRST question? Shouldn't that be more important than whether or not their is a sand and water table? Shouldn't that matter more than having comfy seating or a "quiet area" for privacyNo, because the tools we use are based on the environment, not number of hours of care. BUT, I would certainly hope that children who do attend 11 hours a day are in a program that is developmentally appropriate. And, of course, spending quality time with the parent is the better alternative, when possible.
When are we going to recognize that it is impossible to be developmentally appropriate when a child is away from their parent that many waking hours a day? When are we going to take a stand and tell parents we just can't do it? It's too much.
I agree that it is not “ideal” for a child to be away from their parents that many hours per day. Ideally parents would stay home and parent their children 100% of the time, but that isn’t realistic. Who are “WE” to take a stand against parents to inflict our own personal philosophy of parenting?

There are only twenty four hours in a day. That can't be cheated. If a kid is in your home eleven hours and has transport time home with parents there is no possible way for them to have any substantial DAILY awake face time with their kid.
I know. But it is what has to be done for Mom to provide basic, adequate care for her children. Who am I to judge her because she is trying to provide for her children without welfare and she is hoping to provide a better future for them?

I do nine hours max. You allow eleven. Just think about the last two hours every day in your program and imagine every single kid being home and awake with their parents. That would be swell, but the reality is that there are parents who NEED 11 hours of care…..and I NEED to meet the needs of families, or I wouldn’t have a job.

Now you tell me that you wouldn't prefer that? You tell me it wouldn't make a HUGE difference in the quality of parenting and the quality of YOU and your work? For the kids, certainly, I would prefer that. I don’t think it would necessarily affect my work, unless all of the kids in care were here 11 hours a day.

This isn't something that needs researching... it's plain simple common sense. Children need TIME .... awake TIME.. every day with their parents. Absolutely. They do. Unfortunately, my little kiddos have to stay up a bit later than I’d like, but their Mom DOES spend awake time with them every day. And, she makes weekends with her very meaningful to them.

I won't be a part of any care that means that at the end of the week the kid is in my care more hours awake than they are in the parents care a week awake. And that’s YOUR prerogative and you can run your business however you see fit.

We need to be the ones to take a stand and say we won't do it. We won't be a part of any system that promotes that much time in care. Sure people have busy lives .... they have to work... but the message needs to be sent before the kid is even conceived that the "BEST" child care won't allow eleven hour days because the best know it's not in the BEST interest of the kids.Again, IDEALLY we could do this and it would work. But the fact of the matter is that parents WORK to SUPPORT and PROVIDE for their children. IDEALLY parents would make the “choice” to not have children that they cannot “afford” to have, but REALITY is that parents CANNOT afford to care for their children if they do not work……and for some that means a long work day or commute. And, yeah, here in the city commute time can take up to two hours.
We can sit around and judge parents all day long, but it isn’t going to change the fact that some need extended hours of care.
I’d like to see ONE provider on this site who would consider themselves the PERFECT parent, because that sure as hell is what many of you ACT like when you talk about other people’s parenting.

[Crystal]

people who obsess over "awake time" are under the assumption that all or most kids go to bed at 8pm apparently. when i was working and going to school my kids were in daycare sometimes from 630-7am until 530-6pm. part of that time i worked at daycare, other times i didn't. they aren't aggresive children, we didn't fail to bond, and they are still young so i have plenty of time left to spend. i've said before the choice to use daycare when they were young was the lesser evil since the alternative was not being educated and working long hours for low pay their entire childhood.

anyway, when they went to daycare at 630-7 i had to wake them up at 5am. that means they were AWAKE with me for 1.5 - 2 hours in the morning as i got them ready, fed them (if they didn't eat at daycare), watched cartoons - whatever. after waking up so early they would take looong naps at daycare. i don't think my kids have ever gone to bed before 10pm. i don't see how it's even possible for a kid who's in daycare until 530 or 6 to be in bed by 8:00 after you factor in commute, dinner, bath, and then a little play time, tv time, winding down - whatever you want to call it.

with the schedule i have now i sometimes go 3 days straight without seeing my kids. THEN i'll be off and don't go to work at all for 7-8 days sometimes.

anyone who thinks if a parent REALLY wants to that they can stay home with their child and not work is delusional (but it's also ironic that they have an income from home) or they had/have a husband with a substantial income. our house is totally 100% paid for. our cars are 100% paid for and they are nothing fancy (1998 gmc truck and 2004 cavalier) and STILL we both have to work.

the "if i can do it so can they" attitude is so out there. everyone doesn't have the same circumstances and if everyone could stay home with their children then nobody would have a job as a daycare provider would they.

As a parent who has been there, and a provider who understands you, Thanks

[daycare]

I say we all just need to agree to disagree and leave it at that..................can you feel the love tonight????????????? smile tomorrow is wednesday!!

[nannyde]

people who obsess over "awake time" are under the assumption that all or most kids go to bed at 8pm apparently. when i was working and going to school my kids were in daycare sometimes from 630-7am until 530-6pm. part of that time i worked at daycare, other times i didn't. they aren't aggresive children, we didn't fail to bond, and they are still young so i have plenty of time left to spend. i've said before the choice to use daycare when they were young was the lesser evil since the alternative was not being educated and working long hours for low pay their entire childhood.

anyway, when they went to daycare at 630-7 i had to wake them up at 5am. that means they were AWAKE with me for 1.5 - 2 hours in the morning as i got them ready, fed them (if they didn't eat at daycare), watched cartoons - whatever. after waking up so early they would take looong naps at daycare. i don't think my kids have ever gone to bed before 10pm. i don't see how it's even possible for a kid who's in daycare until 530 or 6 to be in bed by 8:00 after you factor in commute, dinner, bath, and then a little play time, tv time, winding down - whatever you want to call it.

with the schedule i have now i sometimes go 3 days straight without seeing my kids. THEN i'll be off and don't go to work at all for 7-8 days sometimes.

anyone who thinks if a parent REALLY wants to that they can stay home with their child and not work is delusional (but it's also ironic that they have an income from home) or they had/have a husband with a substantial income. our house is totally 100% paid for. our cars are 100% paid for and they are nothing fancy (1998 gmc truck and 2004 cavalier) and STILL we both have to work.

the "if i can do it so can they" attitude is so out there. everyone doesn't have the same circumstances and if everyone could stay home with their children then nobody would have a job as a daycare provider would they.

i don't see how it's even possible for a kid who's in daycare until 530 or 6 to be in bed by 8:00 after you factor in commute, dinner, bath, and then a little play time, tv time, winding down - whatever you want to call it.

I think it's VERY common. I think one indicator that this is happening is when parents start asking for a short nap or no nap for the child.

If you have a parent that keeps the kid up until ten or eleven every night and when they return to day care for their eleven hour day they go straight back to bed to finish their nights sleep and then have a long three/four hour nap... then YES it could be done.

I also do NOT see parent who put their kid to bed getting them up at five a.m. when they aren't leaveing for work two hours later. I honestly think you were very very very much the exception to the rule.

That's going to put that parent into a six/seven hour night sleep and no time at home when they don't have their kids up. I don't think this is common at all. I think kids who are on eleven hour days at day care go home, have supper, have baths, have some TV time, and go to bed around eight or nine. I think that would be best case normal scenario.

Worst case scenario is travel home, bath, quickie supper, TV and to bed at seven ... seven thirty. This IS possible ... especially for the kids who are not having nap during the day or a short... very early awake time in the afternoon nap.

I don't mind twelve hour days for kids who have parents that work twelve hour days three days a week. I've done that in my many years of caring for kids and I love that. The kid gets the full time hours in here... and they get four days off a week with their parent. That extra two working days off with the parent makes ALL the difference in awake face time with their kid.

[nannyde]

I say we all just need to agree to disagree and leave it at that..................can you feel the love tonight????????????? smile tomorrow is wednesday!!

We SHOULD be having this conversation. It's important.

[mac60]

I think that every families situation is different. Today with jobs, people work different shifts, crazy hours as in start and stop times, etc. What 1 person may call normal, may not be normal at all for another person and their job. Sometimes a person gets a job, and the hours are changed on them. They have no choice but to work the hours they are told. Life isn't always full of choices. Sometimes we as parents are pushed into a situation that we don't like, but we must work to support our family and that means doing and accomodating whatever the boss says.

If you have never worked a 12 hour shift, whether it be in as a nurse or in a factory, it is not easy. My husband lost his job, got a job working M-F 8 hour shifts, got laid off for a month, then when called back got put on 12 hour shifts, 6 PM to 6 AM. That lasted for about 2 weeks. It was horrible for him. It was NOT his choice. Even though he only worked 3 days one week and 4 days the next, when ever he had a day off, he was struggling with his sleep, trying to catch up on his sleep, trying to get his body back on a system, then it was work day again. It is not easy working 12 hour shifts, especially when you are working a physically exhausing job.

Because a parent has a job that is 12 hour shifts, does not mean they love their child any less. While I agree that 12 hours is a long day in daycare for a child, it surely doesn't mean a parent is unconcerned for their child. Not everyone is in a position to drop a job because of the work hours.