Tricked? Into Taking Special Needs Kiddo

[LysesKids]

I would absolutely terminate for being late. It is in your contract, hopefully you have some sort of proof and boom she is gone!

I would not trust anyone who did not bring their child for an interview. She came during her lunch break so she could avoid you seeing her child. What kind of mother does that or puts their child where they are not wanted or able to be taken care of effectively. If she has issues finding care she needs to go to the government for assistance. My nephew was diagnosed with cerebral palsy and my brother gets money to pay for a live out nanny. His needs are too great for a home daycare with one person.

I had a woman show up to an interview without her children and I never contacted her after that. Huge red flag and she mentioned in passing her child was a preemie with a breathing issue...it all made sense why she came without her kids.

I totally get that; unless they are still pregnant, I refuse to interview sans child... even then, I want to meet a newborn before care starts and my policy states that if you know at birth there are issues, I must have DR letter explaining how issue is being dealt with. Parent refuses to give DR info, I refuse care... I will not take a child on that I don't know how to care for - they can complain all they want, but unless it's in writing, I may never have agreed to take said child

[Unregistered]

My child has/had special needs (I say 'had' only because they aren't a child any longer) and I couldn't imagine my child being cared for in an environment not aware of, not trained or not wanting to deal with my child's unique need.

Exactly! My brother was autistic (mild form that he grew out of in adulthood) and my mom sent him to a "special" preschool because she knew he would get the care he needed and the curriculum and staff were designed for children with special needs. He wouldnt have thrived in a "regular" daycare. If my child was special needs, they would be going to a facility that met and specialized in his needs.

[TomCopeland]

Discrimination?

Okay so what if this mom is also consistently late picking up? Several times a week she will be 5-15, 20 min after my closing time and give no explanation or even say she’s sorry and a few times has gotten stuck at work and “forgotten” to let me know. Those nights were 30-40 min after I closed. What if I terminated on those grounds, never even mentioning anything to do with disability?

If you are consistently enforcing your late pick up, by terminating other families who are constantly late, then by terminating a family whose child has a disability for being consistently late is not illegal discrimination because it has nothing to do with the disability. If you don't terminate other families who are consistently late, then to do so only for a family with a disability would be illegal discrimination.

[Pestle]

If you are consistently enforcing your late pick up, by terminating other families who are constantly late, then by terminating a family whose child has a disability for being consistently late is not illegal discrimination because it has nothing to do with the disability. If you don't terminate other families who are consistently late, then to do so only for a family with a disability would be illegal discrimination.

lovethis

And this is a great reason to enforce our all of our policies from the get-go. So often, the triggering reason we want to terminate a family is just part of a whole host of other issues that we should already have terminated for. If this were a parent who had her act together, she wouldn't have brought her child, who needs more specialized care, to you in the first place.

[MarinaVanessa]

lovethis
If this were a parent who had her act together, she wouldn't have brought her child, who needs more specialized care, to you in the first place.

Sometimes, but not always true. I had no choice but to keep my DD in "regular" childcare because I could not afford specialized childcare. I couldn't even get her in for a proper evaluation because I made too much to qualify for government medical services but I also didn't make enough money to afford everything she needed. Having a child with special needs is difficult on everyone all around.

[LysesKids]

Sometimes, but not always true. I had no choice but to keep my DD in "regular" childcare because I could not afford specialized childcare. I couldn't even get her in for a proper evaluation because I made too much to qualify for government medical services but I also didn't make enough money to afford everything she needed. Having a child with special needs is difficult on everyone all around.

I raised 4 children with special needs... mostly as a single mom; there are options in certain states when you don't qualify for medical help. I also didn't treat my kids differently & they all grew up to be fine adults despite their limitations - in fact, all make more $$ than me each month, so I did something right (all were homeschooled for at least a few years... the youngest most of her life)

[hwichlaz]

Sometimes, but not always true. I had no choice but to keep my DD in "regular" childcare because I could not afford specialized childcare. I couldn't even get her in for a proper evaluation because I made too much to qualify for government medical services but I also didn't make enough money to afford everything she needed. Having a child with special needs is difficult on everyone all around.

If they are under 3 they qualify for an evaluation with early intervention regardless of financial status. Some therapy organizations base their services on income, others do not. Easter Seals and the Elks give free early intervention and occupational therapy to any child that needs it. The problem....the resources aren’t generally known.

[MarinaVanessa]

If they are under 3 they qualify for an evaluation with early intervention regardless of financial status. Some therapy organizations base their services on income, others do not. Easter Seals and the Elks give free early intervention and occupational therapy to any child that needs it. The problem....the resources aren’t generally known.

They wouldn't do an evaluation on her that young because she had ADHD and they said it could just be behavioral and to wait it out. When she was 4 I got her into Head Start where they referred her to the school phsycologist (it was on public school grounds so I was able to take advantage of the school district's resources) and was told the same thing ... that it was behavior. With the help of the teacher, we were able to at least get a behavioral therapist assigned to her during class. When she turned 5 I got another assessment done (independent) and that's when she got her diagnosis (ADHD, anxiety, depression, OCD, ODD).
ADHD isn't taken as seriously as someone who has a physical or other disability so it has been an uphill battle for us. There are lots of options and services available to kids with disabilities/special needs, if you have the right diagnosis.

In any case we've struggled but grew and she's 13 now, still in therapies but at least not on medication anymore. And she hasn't tried to kill me in 3 years so that's a plus ::

[hwichlaz]

They wouldn't do an evaluation on her that young because she had ADHD and they said it could just be behavioral and to wait it out. When she was 4 I got her into Head Start where they referred her to the school phsycologist (it was on public school grounds so I was able to take advantage of the school district's resources) and was told the same thing ... that it was behavior. With the help of the teacher, we were able to at least get a behavioral therapist assigned to her during class. When she turned 5 I got another assessment done (independent) and that's when she got her diagnosis (ADHD, anxiety, depression, OCD, ODD).
ADHD isn't taken as seriously as someone who has a physical or other disability so it has been an uphill battle for us. There are lots of options and services available to kids with disabilities/special needs, if you have the right diagnosis.

In any case we've struggled but grew and she's 13 now, still in therapies but at least not on medication anymore. And she hasn't tried to kill me in 3 years so that's a plus ::

Unfortunately, once they are 3 and the school district has to take over, you have to practically have a law degree to wade through the BS. I lucked out. I had a daycare dad who was a school psychologist at another district. He taught me the rules, and wrote the first letter for me. I still had an uphill fight.

[MarinaVanessa]

Unfortunately, once they are 3 and the school district has to take over, you have to practically have a law degree to wade through the BS. I lucked out. I had a daycare dad who was a school psychologist at another district. He taught me the rules, and wrote the first letter for me. I still had an uphill fight.

Yep we're still going through the battle, but at least we know what to do now. We haven't been able to get anything better than a 504 plan for her, even recently, and even though the most recent evaluation shows she has a learning disability in science and math. Always uphill

[Unregistered]

I would absolutely terminate for being late. It is in your contract, hopefully you have some sort of proof and boom she is gone!

I would not trust anyone who did not bring their child for an interview. She came during her lunch break so she could avoid you seeing her child. What kind of mother does that or puts their child where they are not wanted or able to be taken care of effectively. If she has issues finding care she needs to go to the government for assistance. My nephew was diagnosed with cerebral palsy and my brother gets money to pay for a live out nanny. His needs are too great for a home daycare with one person.

I had a woman show up to an interview without her children and I never contacted her after that. Huge red flag and she mentioned in passing her child was a preemie with a breathing issue...it all made sense why she came without her kids.

This!!! Exactly how I feel. I just don’t get how she could do that; I would want to be absolutely sure that the person I chose to leave my kids with were 100% on board! How can you be sure if you’re not being honest?

[Unregistered]

If they are under 3 they qualify for an evaluation with early intervention regardless of financial status. Some therapy organizations base their services on income, others do not. Easter Seals and the Elks give free early intervention and occupational therapy to any child that needs it. The problem....the resources aren’t generally known.

I did get her in contact with our state’s early intervention program and once evaluated they want kiddo to meet with 4 different specialists. Mom told me that she thinks that’s just too much so she’s going to tell them she only wants one....

[littlefriends]

If you are consistently enforcing your late pick up, by terminating other families who are constantly late, then by terminating a family whose child has a disability for being consistently late is not illegal discrimination because it has nothing to do with the disability. If you don't terminate other families who are consistently late, then to do so only for a family with a disability would be illegal discrimination.

I haven’t been doing this long enough to have had to terminate anyone yet. I’ve had wonderful families so far, luckily. I have been giving her late pick up fee notices and I’ve been writing down times on my calendar. She tries to be sneaky and write what she wants on my sign in/out sheets.

[LysesKids]

I haven’t been doing this long enough to have had to terminate anyone yet. I’ve had wonderful families so far, luckily. I have been giving her late pick up fee notices and I’ve been writing down times on my calendar. She tries to be sneaky and write what she wants on my sign in/out sheets.

Darlin' it's time to have a digital clock by the sign out sheet; My clock says you are late, regardless what you want to put & My sheet is right at the front door in my living room; no parent goes in or out without me knowing the time. I even found a way to get a sign in/out online... a parent can't change times on that software

[Pestle]

Tom, would the OP be in the clear if they tried to get this client to drop out by charging every family by the minute for late pick ups? And refusing to accept drop offs if there are outstanding late fees?

If they have had no other families with consistently late pick ups, would they be in the clear to terminate care on the spot with the next late pick up? Or just send a notice of termination right now?

When I make policy changes based on lessons learned from one challenging family, I apply them to all the families . . . none of whom really mind, since they were more or less in line all along.