Tricked? Into Taking Special Needs Kiddo

[littlefriends]

Help! I haven’t been doing this for very long and so I’m not I made a mistake that I’m sure you’ll all shake your heads at but now I don’t know what to do. I had a single parent interview with me and say she was desperate to find care immediately because her family could no longer help out. At the interview she didn’t bring her kiddo with her (2years old) because she was meeting with me on her lunch break. Everything seemed fine during the interview but toward the end she mentioned that the kiddo has a “little trouble with walking “ and she’s hoping that being around others her age will help her get better at it. On her first day here parent arrives and it’s immediately clear to me that this child has severe physical and cognitive delays!!! I have given it my best chance but I’m just not equipped to care for this kiddo and to make matters worse parent is in major denial and says that child’s pediatrician isn’t concerned and so she doesn’t feel she needs to be either. I’d like to just be done with it all but I’m not sure what to say to parent or even how to bring up the subject of letting the kiddo go. The last time I tried I had done a lot of research and gathered names and numbers of all kinds of supportive people and places in our community for her to utilize and she just cried and said she’d look into it but then I never heard a word about it again from her! She did nothing. Also I worry because if I make this woman angry and she leaves on bad terms she’s good friends with another one of the families in my care. What if they leave too??

[Mike]

That's one reason why most here have trial periods. A trial period is an open time frame where the provider or the parent can decide it's not the best fit and just move on. A special needs child needs either a nanny, or a provider trained or with experience working with them.

If you don't have a trial period in your agreement, you just have to let the parent know that the child doesn't fit your program well. If you've been watching this child for a little while, could you handle another 2 weeks to give the parent time to find someone else?

[Unregistered]

This is why I don't don't don't don't do interviews without the child. I don't care if you're pregnant, come back when the baby is born. Honestly, if I were you, I'd fill two spots and them term both families. Trust your gut if you think she's going to make trouble with her friends.

[littlefriends]

I agree, kiddo definitely needs something more one on one than I can give. I never even thought of doing something like a trial run with families. I’ve never had a family interview without their kids with them so that should have been a red flag for me. Learning as I go, I guess. ��

[Blackcat31]

I would terminate care now BEFORE the mom accepts that her child may have special needs. If she accepts that the child is special needs, it will be much harder to terminate care due to discrimination laws etc.

I would just tell her that you are no longer able to provide care for her child after X date. If you want to give a reason you could just say you are not able to provide the care and attention she needs and leave it at that. You aren't required to expand on your reason. You aren't even required to give a reason at all.

[Mad_Pistachio]

I would terminate care now BEFORE the mom accepts that her child may have special needs. If she accepts that the child is special needs, it will be much harder to terminate care due to discrimination laws etc.

This.

[daycarediva]

I would terminate care now BEFORE the mom accepts that her child may have special needs. If she accepts that the child is special needs, it will be much harder to terminate care due to discrimination laws etc.

I would just tell her that you are no longer able to provide care for her child after X date. If you want to give a reason you could just say you are not able to provide the care and attention she needs and leave it at that. You aren't required to expand on your reason. You aren't even required to give a reason at all.

NOW!

I also wouldn't worry about the other family. I have MANY friends/families enrolled and termed several people who referred others. The other party never left care.

Keep it professional "Child is no longer in attendance."

don't get into details. Most likely the other parents are already aware.

[TomCopeland]

Special needs child

I would terminate care now BEFORE the mom accepts that her child may have special needs. If she accepts that the child is special needs, it will be much harder to terminate care due to discrimination laws etc.

I would just tell her that you are no longer able to provide care for her child after X date. If you want to give a reason you could just say you are not able to provide the care and attention she needs and leave it at that. You aren't required to expand on your reason. You aren't even required to give a reason at all.

Not exactly. The Americans with Disabilities Act says that you must treat a child as having a disability if you have reason to believe that the child has a disability. In other words, the parents can be in denial, but you must still follow the ADA guidelines. That means a provider can't terminate the child in this situation without taking steps to find out what you can do to reasonably accommodate the child. If the parent refuses to let a provider talk to the child's doctor and refuses the provider's request to have the child evaluated out to see what the provider needs to do, then you can tell the parent you can't provide care.

[AmyKidsCo]

Ahhh, and now I see where Tom's blog post came from.

[littlefriends]

Not exactly. The Americans with Disabilities Act says that you must treat a child as having a disability if you have reason to believe that the child has a disability. In other words, the parents can be in denial, but you must still follow the ADA guidelines. That means a provider can't terminate the child in this situation without taking steps to find out what you can do to reasonably accommodate the child. If the parent refuses to let a provider talk to the child's doctor and refuses the provider's request to have the child evaluated out to see what the provider needs to do, then you can tell the parent you can't provide care.

I guess what I’m more upset about at this point is that I don’t accept infants in my daycare and that when I took her kiddo at the interview I accepted because I knew she was 2:walking, talking, able to sit at a table to eat with a tray and all the other kids. But cognitive-wise she is an infant still. I don’t take infants because I don’t have an assistant and so I don’t have any extra time for that kind of care.

[Rockgirl]

I guess what I’m more upset about at this point is that I don’t accept infants in my daycare and that when I took her kiddo at the interview I accepted because I knew she was 2:walking, talking, able to sit at a table to eat with a tray and all the other kids. But cognitive-wise she is an infant still. I don’t take infants because I don’t have an assistant and so I don’t have any extra time for that kind of care.

We were told in a training that it is acceptable to word it something like: “I do not have the staff to meet the child’s needs.”

[TomCopeland]

Ada

We were told in a training that it is acceptable to word it something like: “I do not have the staff to meet the child’s needs.”

Not enough. You have to find the solution to providing appropriate care for a child with a disability. So, if the experts tell you can provide care with some training and help from the parents/outside resources, you have to provide the care. If the experts tell you that another adult needs to be present to provide the appropriate care, then you need to find out if there are any volunteers who can help. If so, you must provide the care. If not, then you need to find out how much it would cost to hire the extra adult. If the cost is "significant" you don't have to provide the care. What is "significant" is subject to interpretation, but I think that a few hundreds dollars a week would be significant. Then, you can tell the parent that the solution would cost you a significant amount of money and you can't provider the care. Only by going through this process would you be in compliance with the Americans with Disabilities Act. Just saying "I don't have the staff" is not enough.

[Rockgirl]

Not enough. You have to find the solution to providing appropriate care for a child with a disability. So, if the experts tell you can provide care with some training and help from the parents/outside resources, you have to provide the care. If the experts tell you that another adult needs to be present to provide the appropriate care, then you need to find out if there are any volunteers who can help. If so, you must provide the care. If not, then you need to find out how much it would cost to hire the extra adult. If the cost is "significant" you don't have to provide the care. What is "significant" is subject to interpretation, but I think that a few hundreds dollars a week would be significant. Then, you can tell the parent that the solution would cost you a significant amount of money and you can't provider the care. Only by going through this process would you be in compliance with the Americans with Disabilities Act. Just saying "I don't have the staff" is not enough.

Thanks for clarifying. I wasn’t sure if it would hold up, but this actually came up in a food program training a few years ago, and a provider said her licensing rep had given her the info. Sounds like the rep was misinformed and telling providers. Yikes!

[MarinaVanessa]

I was in a training for ADA and I was told that I could not ask during an interview (before they became a client) if their child had a disability ... and if I did that the parent was legally not required to answer. Also that once they became a client I still could not ask them about any disabilities or medical conditions ... that I could only ask if there were any special needs or modifications that their child required (sort of like only being able to ask if a service dog is required because of a disability and what work or task has the dog been trained to perform but not being able to ask specifically what disability the person has).

I was told that I could encourage a family to share medical information with me if they wanted to if I was doing so in order to provide better care for their child but that they could refuse to share the info and I could not specifically use the denial to refuse to sign them up or to terminate care.

LOTS of parents with special needs DON'T share their children's conditions BECAUSE lots of providers refuse to sign them up just because of their condition. In other words, they have no choice ... otherwise, they would be discriminated against.

It reminds me of the daycare providers that don't outright tell their landlords that they will be providing daycare services in the rental home because many landlords outright will deny renting to them only because they do not want to rent to someone doing daycare. They don't notify the landlords until after they have signed the leasing contract so that they won't be discriminated against. (I'm speaking of states like CA where family daycare is a protected class and has special protection like not being able to be denied to run a family childcare home from a rented home/apartment but landlords discriminate anyway. I know in some states there is no protection for FFC providers).

It might "sound shady" but when people are discriminated against they're basically left with no other choice.

[Blackcat31]

I was in a training for ADA and I was told that I could not ask during an interview (before they became a client) if their child had a disability ... and if I did that the parent was legally not required to answer. Also that once they became a client I still could not ask them about any disabilities or medical conditions ... that I could only ask if there were any special needs or modifications that their child required (sort of like only being able to ask if a service dog is required because of a disability and what work or task has the dog been trained to perform but not being able to ask specifically what disability the person has).

I was told that I could encourage a family to share medical information with me if they wanted to if I was doing so in order to provide better care for their child but that they could refuse to share the info and I could not specifically use the denial to refuse to sign them up or to terminate care.

LOTS of parents with special needs DON'T share their children's conditions BECAUSE lots of providers refuse to sign them up just because of their condition. In other words, they have no choice ... otherwise, they would be discriminated against.

It reminds me of the daycare providers that don't outright tell their landlords that they will be providing daycare services in the rental home because many landlords outright will deny renting to them only because they do not want to rent to someone doing daycare. They don't notify the landlords until after they have signed the leasing contract so that they won't be discriminated against. (I'm speaking of states like CA where family daycare is a protected class and has special protection like not being able to be denied to run a family childcare home from a rented home/apartment but landlords discriminate anyway. I know in some states there is no protection for FFC providers).

It might "sound shady" but when people are discriminated against they're basically left with no other choice.

It DOES sound "shady" because it IS "shady.

I understand what you are saying and the logic in thinking but as a parent (not a provider) I just couldn't imagine lying (even by omission) simply to get my child enrolled somewhere. :confused:

It might work in a million other situations but I just wouldn't feel as if my child was receiving truly authentic and genuine care if my provider felt betrayed, lied to or mis-led.

It might not be such a big deal in regards to other legal constraints (ie: not wanting to have a public restroom or something less personal) but I just don't see ANY provider I've ever known (virtually or IRL) that wouldn't act differently towards a parent that "tricked" them in some way....kwim?

I also understand that parents of special needs kids want their children cared for just like every other child but as much as they want that, it doesn't change the fact that their child isn't just like every other child.

My child has/had special needs (I say 'had' only because they aren't a child any longer) and I couldn't imagine my child being cared for in an environment not aware of, not trained or not wanting to deal with my child's unique need.