Difficulty During Nap Time

[happymom]

It was around 9pm that he fell asleep on the weekend when he was napping.

I was thinking of some quiet activities that I could bring for him on his mat. I downloaded some audio stories that I think he would enjoy listening to, I just need to find an old ipod I can put them on. I will talk to his teacher first.

He's had a stretch of good-at-nap-time days....on Friday he even slept for an hour at nap time.

Thank you all for your help.

[happymom]

One more question. Do kids deliberately not sleep if they know they will be given an activity to do if they do not fall asleep?

[happymom]

Back again.

My boy was very disruptive at nap time again yesterday. Note sent home "He was loud at nap, was throwing his blanket over the book shelf and making noise. He was told more than once to stop. We had to move the book shelf away from him because he would not leave it alone. He was great other than nap time." --- Then when he knows he is getting a bad report, I think he gets anxious, and he ate the collar of his favorite shirt! I feel so bad, because he kind of hears about it from both me and my husband and we both express our disappointment in his behavior. I don't know if it's causing him to eat his shirts.

I set up an old ipod for him and loaded it with audiobooks/stories from storynory. I talked to his teacher earlier this week and she thought it sounded like a great idea and we both talked to the director about it. We are all a little concerned that he will purposefully not nap so he can listen to his stories instead. Which, to me, that's fine. I'd rather have him well-behaved and taking a nice rest period while listening to his stories than a kid who is not tired and bored and a distraction during nap time.

I handed the ipod to his teacher this morning and her that "he doesn't know I sent this, please use it at a tool however you feel necessary".

Feeling stressed and worried, trying to evaluate my parenting. I really hope this gets better.

[spedmommy4]

Back again.

My boy was very disruptive at nap time again yesterday. Note sent home "He was loud at nap, was throwing his blanket over the book shelf and making noise. He was told more than once to stop. We had to move the book shelf away from him because he would not leave it alone. He was great other than nap time." --- Then when he knows he is getting a bad report, I think he gets anxious, and he ate the collar of his favorite shirt! I feel so bad, because he kind of hears about it from both me and my husband and we both express our disappointment in his behavior. I don't know if it's causing him to eat his shirts.

I set up an old ipod for him and loaded it with audiobooks/stories from storynory. I talked to his teacher earlier this week and she thought it sounded like a great idea and we both talked to the director about it. We are all a little concerned that he will purposefully not nap so he can listen to his stories instead. Which, to me, that's fine. I'd rather have him well-behaved and taking a nice rest period while listening to his stories than a kid who is not tired and bored and a distraction during nap time.

I handed the ipod to his teacher this morning and her that "he doesn't know I sent this, please use it at a tool however you feel necessary".

Feeling stressed and worried, trying to evaluate my parenting. I really hope this gets better.

I don't know your little guy but, if he doesn't usually chew on his shirts, I would take that as a sign that this situation has pushed him too far. Having to lay down and be quiet when you aren't tired for two hours would be really stressful for a child. Heck, that would be stressful for me. On top of that, he knows he's going to be in trouble with his trusted adults at school and then again at home. That would be a rough day for anyone.

I am guessing you really like his child care but, if really sounds like the situation just doesn't work for him anymore. From what you've described, it sounds like he would benefit from a child care that is willing to accommodate a quiet rest period for a non napper.

[happymom]

I know. I feel so bad about the shirt chewing.

I am feeling good about the daycare being accommodating and open to alternatives to him. I'm really hoping that the ipod will help get him through nap time and keep him happy.

He ended up having a good night last night at home (after the bad report). Dad is a psychology major and much more in tune with my son's emotions than I am. He thinks we've made it a bigger deal than it needs to be and it is causing stress (the same thing happened during potty training). He's finally open to giving him his nap time reward (leap frog time) as long as he was well behaved during nap.

His teacher said she will give him the ipod once the majority of the kids have fallen asleep, but I really want to leave that up to her. If I tell him that's what she said he'll start being the little bossy know-it-all 4 year old that's inside of him.

[daycarediva]

I don't know your little guy but, if he doesn't usually chew on his shirts, I would take that as a sign that this situation has pushed him too far. Having to lay down and be quiet when you aren't tired for two hours would be really stressful for a child. Heck, that would be stressful for me. On top of that, he knows he's going to be in trouble with his trusted adults at school and then again at home. That would be a rough day for anyone.

I am guessing you really like his child care but, if really sounds like the situation just doesn't work for him anymore. From what you've described, it sounds like he would benefit from a child care that is willing to accommodate a quiet rest period for a non napper.

I agree with this. Clothes-chewing is a big indicator of stress. When stressed, I bite my fingernails, (they're currently nubs)

I LOVE the story on the ipod idea. I wouldn't care IF he slept AT ALL (even as a provider) as long as he let the other children rest. I have one 4 year old awake in between two other children right now. She's listening to the audio books I play, and doing a lacing activity (her chosing).

I have her rest for 30 minutes, and if she hasn't fallen asleep, she can do an activity (previously chosen).

[happymom]

That's a good idea to work on getting some previously chosen activities for him in addition. I have lots of ideas. He's got a very long attention span if you give him something to do. But sleeping has never been his specialty.

I considered loading his ipod with some games, but I worry about something popping up and trying to download stuff and him getting frustrated not knowing how to exit out of it and causing a frustrated scene in the middle of nap. That wouldn't be good either, so I decided to keep it simple.

[happymom]

Good news!

I had to pick up my infant (diarrhea) and my 4 year old was peacefully asleep on his mat when I got there!

[happymom]

Wanted to come back and thank everyone for their advice on my situation.

I have provided an ipod with audiobooks (10-20 minute short stories) geared towards his age group. My son actually thinks it belongs to his teacher and that she lets him use it during nap time.

He hasn't napped once this week, but he's been quiet and resting during nap time every day. His behavior at home and at bedtime has been great. He understands that when he doesn't take a nap, he has to go to bed "a little bit earlier" and bed time has been much easier too.

So far the schedule is working out pretty well and hes been happy and no more instances of him chewing on his clothes!

happyface

[happymom]

Back for more help.

My kid turns 5 in March. He's very very rarely sleeping at nap. He's a pill to get to bed at night. He has some anxiety surrounding sleep/dark that we are trying to address at home.

He had his audio books taken away (daycare's decision backed by me and dad), has been separated completely from his peers (in a corner with a shelf blocking his view of his best friend who distract each other), been offered books/coloring on his mat. He goofs off, and his teacher finally came to me that it has been an ongoing problem. He's been moved to the 3s classroom. He's had to sit in the office.

I'm just not sure what to do. Director is checking with licensing to see if he can go in with the kindergartners during nap. I'm in the waiting game. Licensing says naps until kindergarten (which is August here). Do they sometimes make exceptions?

Please let me know if you have any other ideas for me. I am desperate.

[Ariana]

After reading through this thread I honestly feel like this is bordering on abuse. He is chewing his shirt collar off? I just am so angry and sad for your son. No wonder he is having anxiety issues surrounding the dark and sleep. Sleep is not a pleasant experience for him anymore.

Why was the ipod taken away? It seemed to be working. Can he watch a movie or something?

I would be switching care providers or looking into getting him a nanny. Is this worth it?

[mommyneedsadayoff]

After reading through this thread I honestly feel like this is bordering on abuse. He is chewing his shirt collar off? I just am so angry and sad for your son. No wonder he is having anxiety issues surrounding the dark and sleep. Sleep is not a pleasant experience for him anymore.

Why was the ipod taken away? It seemed to be working. Can he watch a movie or something?

I would be switching care providers or looking into getting him a nanny. Is this worth it?

why do you think this is borderline abuse? i reread the thread and it sounds like the daycare is doing everything the parents are asking for (color books, ipod with audio, ect) so are you saying the parents are pushing things or the daycare:confused: He has outgrown his nap. period. The leap frog sounded like a privelege the parents are taking away so unless i am missing something, it doesnt seem that the dc is punishing him for not sleeping. it sounds more like they are trying everything to keep him quiet at nap and its not working and the parents are withholding priveleges if he comes home with a "bad" report. everyone is trying hard to fit a square peg in a round hole...its just not working. and now it is producing negative and stressfull behavior. It is not healthy for ANY of you to be so stressed over this. Do you have any other childcare options? Like an all day prek or a sitter that could help in the afternoons? im sorry i am not much help, but this does not seem like abuse to me, so i just hope you can figure something out that works for all of you.

[Play Care]

why do you think this is borderline abuse? i reread the thread and it sounds like the daycare is doing everything the parents are asking for (color books, ipod with audio, ect) so are you saying the parents are pushing things or the daycare:confused: He has outgrown his nap. period. The leap frog sounded like a privelege the parents are taking away so unless i am missing something, it doesnt seem that the dc is punishing him for not sleeping. it sounds more like they are trying everything to keep him quiet at nap and its not working and the parents are withholding priveleges if he comes home with a "bad" report. everyone is trying hard to fit a square peg in a round hole...its just not working. and now it is producing negative and stressfull behavior. It is not healthy for ANY of you to be so stressed over this. Do you have any other childcare options? Like an all day prek or a sitter that could help in the afternoons? im sorry i am not much help, but this does not seem like abuse to me, so i just hope you can figure something out that works for all of you.

In my state a child would have to be allowed up and moving if they are not sleeping after a half an hour. And the new regs say a child who we know doesn't nap can't be made to lie down at all and there must be an alternate activity. I don't take/keep kids who don't need a nap or have outgrown nap for these reasons. But truthfully if I had a child/situation like the OP's and the parents complained to my licensing, *I* would be in cited.
I do wonder if the OP has any access to a program where napping is not a scheduled activity - maybe a junior K program?

[childcaremom]

It sounds like he has outgrown nap and that the program is no longer a good fit for him. It sounds like you've all tried adapting/changing/etc and it isn't changing/getting better.

I know you have another one at the same centre but I agree with the suggestions to look for a preK program (or something similar) that doesn't require a nap/long rest period. I think I remember you saying that he starts school in the fall? It will be a good transition step for school, as well.

Good luck!

[daycarediva]

After reading through this thread I honestly feel like this is bordering on abuse. He is chewing his shirt collar off? I just am so angry and sad for your son. No wonder he is having anxiety issues surrounding the dark and sleep. Sleep is not a pleasant experience for him anymore.

Why was the ipod taken away? It seemed to be working. Can he watch a movie or something?

I would be switching care providers or looking into getting him a nanny. Is this worth it?

In my state a child would have to be allowed up and moving if they are not sleeping after a half an hour. And the new regs say a child who we know doesn't nap can't be made to lie down at all and there must be an alternate activity. I don't take/keep kids who don't need a nap or have outgrown nap for these reasons. But truthfully if I had a child/situation like the OP's and the parents complained to my licensing, *I* would be in cited.
I do wonder if the OP has any access to a program where napping is not a scheduled activity - maybe a junior K program?

It sounds like he has outgrown nap and that the program is no longer a good fit for him. It sounds like you've all tried adapting/changing/etc and it isn't changing/getting better.

I know you have another one at the same centre but I agree with the suggestions to look for a preK program (or something similar) that doesn't require a nap/long rest period. I think I remember you saying that he starts school in the fall? It will be a good transition step for school, as well.

Good luck!

^ this.

I would be cited by licensing. I do a rest period, if after 30 minutes my kids aren't asleep- they MUST be allowed to get UP.

My ONLY solution before pulling is if they would allow him either to go into the K room, OR if they could set him up with quiet activities in the corner after a brief rest period eg. NOT on a mat.