Parent Visiting Day Care Every Day for an Extended Time

[Unregistered]

This is not always the case. I know several providers who are the "assigned" person. It depends on the details of each situation.



Who says mom isn't aware? OP only stated the provider didn't notify OTHER parents. Maybe the mom prefers the non-custodial dad does his visiting at the daycare so that she doesn't have to deal with him for visits etc.






There is an awfully lot of assumptions going on in this thread about what rights the father has and doesn't have and the only input comes from a third party.

NOT someone I'd trust has the full story.
Unless like we suspected earlier in the thread....that the OP isn't who they are saying they are.

Still an awful lot of assumptions about what's going on and who has what rights. Each state and each custody situation is unique so there is no one black and white rule that applies here.

OK, so why does the OP say in her post that the "provider is sympathetic to him and is encouraging this..."

OP also says in her post that the father has "very limited supervised time outside day care with the child, "

You can roll your eyes all you want, to me this says something is going on that possibly shouldn't be. It also says to me that the Mom of the child likely isn't aware.

OR the situation would be that the dad does his visiting at daycare under the Provider's supervision, but the Provider hasn't informed other parents. Then it wouldn't matter that he only gets limited supervised time outside of daycare, because he's getting 2 - 3 hours/day AT daycare. That's about as much time as some parents with full custody have outside of daycare hours, depending on their schedule.

As someone who has been a parent with a "supervised access only" ex, this whole thing raises huge red flags.

[Blackcat31]

OK, so why does the OP say in her post that the "provider is sympathetic to him and is encouraging this..."

OP also says in her post that the father has "very limited supervised time outside day care with the child, "

You can roll your eyes all you want, to me this says something is going on that possibly shouldn't be. It also says to me that the Mom of the child likely isn't aware.

OR the situation would be that the dad does his visiting at daycare under the Provider's supervision, but the Provider hasn't informed other parents. Then it wouldn't matter that he only gets limited supervised time outside of daycare, because he's getting 2 - 3 hours/day AT daycare. That's about as much time as some parents with full custody have outside of daycare hours, depending on their schedule.

As someone who has been a parent with a "supervised access only" ex, this whole thing raises huge red flags.

:confused:

I have ZERO clue as to why the OP said ANY of what she said or HOW or WHY she knows the info she/he posted.

THAT is my point. The OP is a third party to this.

I HIGHLY doubt she/he (OP) knows anything first hand.
She hasn't even come back to answer any questions posted or to add any further details to the thread.

Im sorry you went through something similar but that doesn't change the situation HERE within this thread.

There could be a whole lot of bad stuff going on or this could be a made up story posted by anyone....who knows...

but for what it's worth, I'm not rolling my eyes at you/anyone.

I'm rolling my eyes at the assumptions and statements that have been made in this thread that have no merit, no proof and no additional follow up......

The OP was advised to have her "friend" talk directly to the provider and to report this to licensing.
Great advice and advice I hope she/he takes.

[BabyMonkeys]

I wouldn't allow this. Personally, the daycare provider is playing with fire. Not only is she putting herself in the middle of a situation that is truly none of her business. She is being wildly irresponsible by allowing a stranger around the other children.

This situation is not a good one all the way around. No matter the feelings of the provider, she shouldn't get involved in parents seeing their child. There is a reason there was a restraining order. There is a reason his visitation is limited. I would personally pull my child and report the provider.

I agree 100%.

[BabyMonkeys]

I thought that once. I had a dad who came regularly to see his daughter. He seemed like a nice guy who just wanted to spend time with his child.

Turns out he was a pedophile. Had a record in another state...rape of a child.

He had been coming to my daycare to get his jollies being around all the little ones. He was abusing his own daughter. He ended up in prison...but I had let this monster in my home regularly.



NEVER again. I do not allow parents to come and hang out.

That's horrible!

[Unregistered]

:confused:

I have ZERO clue as to why the OP said ANY of what she said or HOW or WHY she knows the info she/he posted.

THAT is my point. The OP is a third party to this.

I HIGHLY doubt she/he (OP) knows anything first hand.
She hasn't even come back to answer any questions posted or to add any further details to the thread.

Im sorry you went through something similar but that doesn't change the situation HERE within this thread.

There could be a whole lot of bad stuff going on or this could be a made up story posted by anyone....who knows...

but for what it's worth, I'm not rolling my eyes at you/anyone.

I'm rolling my eyes at the assumptions and statements that have been made in this thread that have no merit, no proof and no additional follow up......

The OP was advised to have her "friend" talk directly to the provider and to report this to licensing.
Great advice and advice I hope she/he takes.

I'm the PP you've been responding to. I just have this suspicion that OP is actually the provider. I'm hoping IF she's reading responses that she clues in that this could be a very bad idea. In the event that there is a court order involved in this dad's time with his child.. that needs to take precedence over anything the provider thinks she can or can't allow. (I hope what I'm trying to say makes sense.)

Otherwise, yes absolutely the "friend" needs to discuss this with the provider. Maybe read through the contract too and see if this sort of thing is addressed as far as parents visiting the daycare in this manner.

Also, as a mom who has had the ex with supervision ordered? Everyone involved with my child was aware of the potential issue. Daycare, school -- anyone who was responsible for caring for my child. First he had NO access. None, zilch.. stay away. They had a photo of him. Anyone allowing him access without my permission was actually breaking a court order, and there were no licensing laws etc. that over rode that. Once he had supervised visits the same thing applied, or would have if he had followed through. There would have been a supervision schedule set up, with one or two possible supervisors. Anything beyond that would not have been allowed without my permission.

Thinking back on all of that, OP.. you're missing a lot of the finer details.

Just... an FYI.

(Black cat I had to post again. I dreamed last night of all of the issues... )

[Blackcat31]

http://tomcopelandblog.com/long-can-parents-visit-program

[craftymissbeth]

OP's friend should just talk to the provider and let her know how she feels about the situation. If my child were enrolled, no, I would not feel comfortable with another child's parent in the dc for hours each day, but that's my opinion.

If OP does happen to be the provider, then I HIGHLY suggest you obtain a copy of the current court order and go by that and that only. Divorce orders (if it was a divorce; I don't remember if it was said) are public record where I'm from.. if neither parent will provide it. Child custody cases may be public record, but I'm not sure.

Child custody orders clearly outline what days and times each parents are legally entitled to parenting time. Go by that. For example, my ds's father has parenting time from Friday at 5 pm until Sunday at 5 pm. If he were to go up to the school at any time and try to spend time with ds or attempt to take him from the school he would be in contempt.

No matter what, though, I would not allow a parent ever for any reason to spend extended amounts of time just chillin' in my home with other children present. Nope.

[Thriftylady]

OP's friend should just talk to the provider and let her know how she feels about the situation. If my child were enrolled, no, I would not feel comfortable with another child's parent in the dc for hours each day, but that's my opinion.

If OP does happen to be the provider, then I HIGHLY suggest you obtain a copy of the current court order and go by that and that only. Divorce orders (if it was a divorce; I don't remember if it was said) are public record where I'm from.. if neither parent will provide it. Child custody cases may be public record, but I'm not sure.

Child custody orders clearly outline what days and times each parents are legally entitled to parenting time. Go by that. For example, my ds's father has parenting time from Friday at 5 pm until Sunday at 5 pm. If he were to go up to the school at any time and try to spend time with ds or attempt to take him from the school he would be in contempt.

No matter what, though, I would not allow a parent ever for any reason to spend extended amounts of time just chillin' in my home with other children present. Nope.

I wish all custody orders were that cut and dried. When I got divorced, it said I would give my ex "reasonable visitation" and it was up to us to decide what that was. But where there have at some point been restraining orders and at some point supervised visitation the one in question is likely more clear.

And there is no way I would ever agree to being the person supervising visitation. Apparently some providers do, but I don't want any part of that.