Parent Visiting Day Care Every Day for an Extended Time

[Unregistered]

This is this situation at one of the daycare that my friend sends her daughter to.

There is this non custodial parent, who has a restraining order against himself from going near the other parent(and previously the child too). This non custodial parent is visiting the day care for extended periods of time(like 2-3 hours each day), every day of the week, to spend time with his child. He gets very limited supervised time outside day care with the child, because of the restraining order.The day care provider is sympathetic to him and is encouraging this(without any notice to the parents of other children at the day care). This is happening while other children are actively playing or going about their activities at day care.

There is a law that says a parent can inspect the day care facility at all times, but is there anything that says how much time they can spend at the day care? Is this legal, Is this parent/day care owner breaking any privacy laws of the other children? Is the daycare owner breaking any licensing requirements, by having a non-background checked person on site everyday(without letting the parents of the other children at day care).

My friend does not like this, is there any way she can ask the daycare owner not to allow this on a regular basis.

[JackandJill]

I think a lot depends on which state you're in. Maybe give a call to licensing and ask.

I know personally I would not care for this situation either. I don't allow parents to stay longer than 15 minutes at my daycare.

[Josiegirl]

Maybe dcprovider feels sympathetic but she's begging for trouble doing this! The dcm knows she's allowing this?
I know if I had a child going to that dc, I'd be highly suspicious to see someone hanging around that wasn't there due to their job or in some kind of volunteer effort. I'm sure each state varies in their regs. so yeh, calling licensing and explaining the situation is your best bet.

[childcaremom]

I think a lot depends on which state you're in. Maybe give a call to licensing and ask.

I wouldn't like it, either. Does he have clear background checks? Is he fingerprinted? Etc etc.

Fwiw, I don't allow my daycare parents to stay. Period.

[nannyde]

She is essentially supervising his visits for free. If he can't have unsupervised visits with his kid then why can he be around others kids?

If he can have unsupervised visits with his kid then he can pick the kid up and return the child at specific times.

If the provider is expected to supervise she needs to charge a $20 an hr supervised visit fee. Paid up front and not to be included in the tuition fees.

[Thriftylady]

I see several reasons I would have issues with this. First being that I wouldn't allow a stranger to hand around the daycare kids, my parents would be livid! The next issue is with supervised court ordered visits, they usually set a time, place and duration for them. Often times they have a professional there monitoring looking for certain things or lack of them as the case could be. Last but not least for sure is that I don't want anyone hanging out at daycare during the day. My job is to take care of the children, spend the day with them in some fashioned. I can't do that if I have an extra person hanging around to entertain.

Honestly if I was your friend, I would look for a new provider. This would bother me that much.

[finsup]

I don't know legally what the rules are but if it were me, I'd pull my kids after knowing that. Daycare is NOT the place for supervised visits.

[Play Care]

Honestly I would be very surprised if licensing had an issue with this provided the parent was signing in (if required by regulations) and never alone with the other children. Most regulations are very much on the side of parental rights and allowing parents access to their kids. As for notifying parents, again, this is a parent visiting. It's probably protected the same way your friends provider couldn't tell other parents about her or her child.

Not saying it's something I agree with, but from a licensing standpoint it's probably not the issue it is for your friend.

That said, if your friend isn't comfortable with it she should approach the provider and be ready to find other care.

[spedmommy4]

The laws governing family childcare and centers vary widely from state to state. Without knowing what state you in, it would be difficult to say. Some states do require regular visitors to pass background checks and others have no such requirements.

That said, your friends best option here is direct communication with the provider. If this situation is making her feel unsafe/uncomfortable with the environment, she needs to communicate that. If she feels that the environment may no longer be suitable for her child, if these visits don't stop, then she may need to give notice.

The providers heart may be in the right place here but she may not realize how it's making her other clients feel. I'd tell your friend to share her concerns in a nice but direct way. If it's a deal breaker for her child continuing to stay, the provider needs to know.

[Blackcat31]

Why isn't your friend sharing her feelings/thoughts with the provider?

[sleepinghart]

This is this situation at one of the daycare that my friend sends her daughter to.

There is this non custodial parent, who has a restraining order against himself from going near the other parent(and previously the child too). This non custodial parent is visiting the day care for extended periods of time(like 2-3 hours each day), every day of the week, to spend time with his child. He gets very limited supervised time outside day care with the child, because of the restraining order.The day care provider is sympathetic to him and is encouraging this(without any notice to the parents of other children at the day care). This is happening while other children are actively playing or going about their activities at day care.

There is a law that says a parent can inspect the day care facility at all times, but is there anything that says how much time they can spend at the day care? Is this legal, Is this parent/day care owner breaking any privacy laws of the other children? Is the daycare owner breaking any licensing requirements, by having a non-background checked person on site everyday(without letting the parents of the other children at day care).

My friend does not like this, is there any way she can ask the daycare owner not to allow this on a regular basis.

~I wonder if dcm, the custodial parent who the restraining order is protecting, knows about this...that dad is visiting their child at the daycare everyday for a few hours, and if so, I wonder what she thinks about it:confused:?

[MunchkinWrangler]

I wouldn't allow this. Personally, the daycare provider is playing with fire. Not only is she putting herself in the middle of a situation that is truly none of her business. She is being wildly irresponsible by allowing a stranger around the other children.

This situation is not a good one all the way around. No matter the feelings of the provider, she shouldn't get involved in parents seeing their child. There is a reason there was a restraining order. There is a reason his visitation is limited. I would personally pull my child and report the provider.

[Silly Songs]

I would not be comfortable as a parent in this situation. Agreed the provider is walking a thin line. I wonder if the provider heard this parent's sob story, only one side of the story, and felt badly. There is a reason for a restraining order and supervised visits. Not a good situation at all. Also, if the provider made this questionable choice, what other questionable choices have they made ?

[Unregistered]

Thank you for your replies, I am also thinking a call to licensing is the best way go forward here.

This is in California.

[daycarediva]

She is essentially supervising his visits for free. If he can't have unsupervised visits with his kid then why can he be around others kids?

If he can have unsupervised visits with his kid then he can pick the kid up and return the child at specific times.

If the provider is expected to supervise she needs to charge a $20 an hr supervised visit fee. Paid up front and not to be included in the tuition fees.

My first thought!

I wouldn't allow this. Personally, the daycare provider is playing with fire. Not only is she putting herself in the middle of a situation that is truly none of her business. She is being wildly irresponsible by allowing a stranger around the other children.

This situation is not a good one all the way around. No matter the feelings of the provider, she shouldn't get involved in parents seeing their child. There is a reason there was a restraining order. There is a reason his visitation is limited. I would personally pull my child and report the provider.

The restraining order and supervised visitation makes this muddy water, imho. Was there some claim of abuse towards the child? What are the specific policies for the provider for visitors? I have to have a visitor policy, and a visitor log in sheet. I do NOT encourage parents to stay because I would be allowing strangers around other peoples children. I would not be comfortable AT ALL if my child was enrolled.