Who Loses Parents for Provider Taking Off?

[m.kids1301]

Been there!

I know how you feel! So few appreciate all we do.

In 1996 I and my older handicapped daughter both got pneumonia. I had to hospitalize my daughter because I couldn't care for her; I was too weak. I had to close my day care starting on a Wednesday, through the whole following week. I started calling people at the end of that week on Sunday and I was told by the dad of one family I'd had for over 5 years that they would give me a week's notice (I want a 2 week's notice) and that they had found another daycare! I just said that was really going to hurt now, and the dad said, "we were left in a really bad situation here, Marilynn!" Like I chose to get sick! :confused: Another dad tried to talk me out of the 2 week's notice just because they'd been nice to me, but they'd switched daycare's too!

I don't take much time off. I do understand it's hard when you have kids and have to work, but providers are just as human and it's so hard when so many are SO ungrateful! But, God always provides...He always helps us have what we need. happyface

[permanentvacation]

I do. I lose a parent almost every day I take off. And I haven't had a week's vacation in about 13 years! I only take off 1 day at a time, maybe 3 days or so a year! And I'm pretty much guaranteed to lose a kid each time! This is May and my daughter's graduation day will be the first day that I close for this year! I offer care on all holidays. I don't close for the holidays. I do close for special days such as my birthday and things like my daughters graduation day and my daughter's award ceremony at her college.

I actually offer care on Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Eve, and Christmas Day as well as the other holidays. Now, typically no one needs care on the major holidays, but every once in a while they do. So, I don't announce that I'm closed, but usually I am not needed for care on major holidays.

One year, I had a daycare kid on Thanksgiving day and years ago, when I did 24/7 care, I had 2 sisters sleep over on Christmas Eve! This past year, I almost had a child on Christmas Day because his mother works at Walmart and they every employee was required to work over Christmas. The mother was, at first scheduled to work Christmas day, but she switched with someone and worked Christmas Eve instead. So I had her child with the rest of my kids on Christmas Eve and was off on Christmas Day. I always have kids the day after Christmas and the day after Thanksgiving.

[e.j.]

Should I take this personal or consider it uanappreciated?

I don't think you should take it personally or necessarily consider the dcm unappreciative. I think that your business hours/time off aren't working for her at this point and she's decided to move on to another provider whose schedule meshes more with her own wants and needs.

I learned a long time ago that anything "special" that I do for my dc families needs to be something I do for no other reason than because it pleases me to do it. That way, I'm not upset or disappointed when a parent fails to appreciate what I've done or fails to remain loyal to me when I say I need to take some time off.

It's true that as business owners, we have the right to set our own hours and decide how much time off to take. We don't owe anyone any explanation for what we'll be doing during that time off. You know that, I know that and even some dc parents understand that but not all parents look at these things from a provider's perspective.

"Perception is everything." If a parent perceives you to be unreliable, there's a good chance they will find someone else they view to be more reliable. Unfortunately, there is a double standard in terms of how parent time off and provider time off is perceived but the reality is any time you decide to take time off, there will always be the risk that a parent will see it as you being unreliable and decide to move on. As a business owner, you have to weigh whether that risk is worth taking or not.

[e.j.]

I know how you feel! So few appreciate all we do.

In 1996 I and my older handicapped daughter both got pneumonia. I had to hospitalize my daughter because I couldn't care for her; I was too weak. I had to close my day care starting on a Wednesday, through the whole following week. I started calling people at the end of that week on Sunday and I was told by the dad of one family I'd had for over 5 years that they would give me a week's notice (I want a 2 week's notice) and that they had found another daycare! I just said that was really going to hurt now, and the dad said, "we were left in a really bad situation here, Marilynn!" Like I chose to get sick! :confused: Another dad tried to talk me out of the 2 week's notice just because they'd been nice to me, but they'd switched daycare's too!

I don't take much time off. I do understand it's hard when you have kids and have to work, but providers are just as human and it's so hard when so many are SO ungrateful! But, God always provides...He always helps us have what we need. happyface

About 2 years ago, I had to close for a week because of an illness. I felt terrible having to close because I don't like to inconvenience my dc families but they know this and supported me throughout.

At the end of that week, though, I got a phone call from a parent looking to switch to new child care. His provider had been out sick all week. While he understood she was sick, he said he couldn't keep taking time off every time she got sick. I just started laughing and told him I was in the same boat she was and had been closed for the past week due to my own illness. I asked him if he liked his provider in general and he said he did; he just couldn't continue to miss so much time off from his own job. I offered to meet with him and discuss back up care. I would possibly take him on as a drop in client for times when he needed back up care but that I felt uncomfortable taking a client away from another provider - especially given the circumstances. He scheduled a time to meet with me and then never showed up, never called to cancel. Oh, well! I guess my point in sharing this is to say that it made me truly appreciate the families I have who have remained so supportive of me and appreciate the care I give to their kids.

[Blackcat31]

About 2 years ago, I had to close for a week because of an illness. I felt terrible having to close because I don't like to inconvenience my dc families but they know this and supported me throughout.

At the end of that week, though, I got a phone call from a parent looking to switch to new child care. His provider had been out sick all week. While he understood she was sick, he said he couldn't keep taking time off every time she got sick. I just started laughing and told him I was in the same boat she was and had been closed for the past week due to my own illness. I asked him if he liked his provider in general and he said he did; he just couldn't continue to miss so much time off from his own job. I offered to meet with him and discuss back up care. I would possibly take him on as a drop in client for times when he needed back up care but that I felt uncomfortable taking a client away from another provider - especially given the circumstances. He scheduled a time to meet with me and then never showed up, never called to cancel. Oh, well! I guess my point in sharing this is to say that it made me truly appreciate the families I have who have remained so supportive of me and appreciate the care I give to their kids.

I suppose parents want reliability but thought doesn't even occur to them that we do too.

I make sure to stress that it is VERY important for families to have back up care plans if they are choosing an in-home family provider.

[Play Care]

I've actually said to parents in my interview "if you're looking for a day care that's OPEN 360 (closed only for the "big" holidays) then you NEED a center.

Often parents want center service at in home prices...

[Ariana]

I suppose parents want reliability but thought doesn't even occur to them that we do too.

I make sure to stress that it is VERY important for families to have back up care plans if they are choosing an in-home family provider.

This exactly! Whenever I interview for a spot it is extremely important for me that the family has retired grandparents in the picture, or a SAHM friend/relative that can take their child if I need days off. I discuss this thoroughly with families. I also like having teachers because my vacation usually never interferes with theirs and they have a good generous sickness/personal day policy with their employers.

Alternative,y my husband and mother are both available should I need backup care. I only had one family balk at this idea which meant they were not a good fit for me. If you can't trust my husband and mother (who both have criminal reference checks) than we can't do business

[tntsmom]

This exactly! Whenever I interview for a spot it is extremely important for me that the family has retired grandparents in the picture, or a SAHM friend/relative that can take their child if I need days off. I discuss this thoroughly with families. I also like having teachers because my vacation usually never interferes with theirs and they have a good generous sickness/personal day policy with their employers.

Alternative,y my husband and mother are both available should I need backup care. I only had one family balk at this idea which meant they were not a good fit for me. If you can't trust my husband and mother (who both have criminal reference checks) than we can't do business

Believe it or not, I even have them fill out a back-up care plan I keep in their file and still they cannot seem to follow through.

[tntsmom]

So, I have had a family since 2014 and I send home a monthly newsletter explaining if days off are needed, whats going on, donations, etc. Long story short, this family I have always been especially close to and their children are loved like my own. I have taken them home or picked them up when dad hurt his back and stayed home, let mom who gets off at 12:30 on Fridays take her afternoon to herself and even work an hour extra at no charge so dad can go to school. I took off this thursday and friday to have a garage sale, much needed and she phoned me this morning and said the kids are not coming back because she needs someone more reliable. I was closing on Fridays for the summer at 1:30 because all my parents are off, guess what, she did not like it, she lost her free time. Should I take this personal or consider it uanappreciated? I am so sad, I was so, so close to the boys.:confused:

UPDATE: THE MOM ACTUALLY STOPPED PAYMENT ON HER CHECK FOR CARE AND HAS YET TO PROVIDE THE TWO WEEKS OF CARE UP FRONT PAYMENT FOR CONTRACT! HELP, WHAT SHOULD i DO? She texted me letting me know she stopped payment in a "fit of anger" and she fully intends on paying me, however, I am still waiting. I gave her a termination notice and date to pay by, still nothing, sent her a message stating what she owes and due date, still nothing. Next will be a demand for payment letter I think, then if nothing....Small claims.

[Blackcat31]

UPDATE: THE MOM ACTUALLY STOPPED PAYMENT ON HER CHECK FOR CARE AND HAS YET TO PROVIDE THE TWO WEEKS OF CARE UP FRONT PAYMENT FOR CONTRACT! HELP, WHAT SHOULD i DO? She texted me letting me know she stopped payment in a "fit of anger" and she fully intends on paying me, however, I am still waiting. I gave her a termination notice and date to pay by, still nothing, sent her a message stating what she owes and due date, still nothing. Next will be a demand for payment letter I think, then if nothing....Small claims.

Yikes!

What's the time line between all of this happening?

[Leigh]

UPDATE: THE MOM ACTUALLY STOPPED PAYMENT ON HER CHECK FOR CARE AND HAS YET TO PROVIDE THE TWO WEEKS OF CARE UP FRONT PAYMENT FOR CONTRACT! HELP, WHAT SHOULD i DO? She texted me letting me know she stopped payment in a "fit of anger" and she fully intends on paying me, however, I am still waiting. I gave her a termination notice and date to pay by, still nothing, sent her a message stating what she owes and due date, still nothing. Next will be a demand for payment letter I think, then if nothing....Small claims.

You'll certainly win in court after that. I'd tell her that she has until the end of business today to bring payment in cash. If she does not, I'd just go ahead and file in small claims, and let her know of your intention to do so.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

Did I miss a post? Why is she so angry? I thought she was just quitting because she needed more "reliable" care so she can keep her day off on Friday. Did she prepay for this week and is now cancelling that payment and not coming back or giving notice per contract? Sorry, I get confused easily, but I didn't realize she was so upset...just thought she wanted to move on.

[NillaWafers]

Wasn't it mentioned somewhere that it's a criminal offense to do that? IIRC, you can call the cops on her for stopping payment on a check (check fraud maybe?) I can't remember. I would mention that to her (after some more research ofc)