Parents Won't Feed Their Child Enough

[permanentvacation]

No, they haven't given him meats yet. I am required to give him meat with his lunch next month. They also are not giving him cereal which I am required to give him for breakfast next month. I am also required to give him either cereal or a double serving of meat for lunch next month.

I really don't think the parents are going to go along with the food program requirements. I think I am going to lose him over this.

His father just got a promotion and might have his work hours changed and the mother is trying to change her work hours so they don't have to use daycare soon anyway. I think me fussing over his feeding schedule will probably push them over the edge and they will make sure not to need daycare.

[Cradle2crayons]

He gets one bottle (although I don't know how many ounces) at home at 7 am. He arrives at daycare at 8:15. He gets a container of fruit at 8:30. Then his 8 oz. bottle at 9:30. Then the parents don't want him to eat until 12:30 (4 hours from the time he had his fruit). But he's hungry at 10. I usually hold him off until 10:30. And give him a bottle at 10:30 and then he eats his veges at 11:00 (if he's picked up at 11:30 that day). If he's not picked up til 3:30, I hold him off until 11:30 and feed him his veges at 11:30. He's then hungry at 1:30, but I hold him off until 2:00 and give him his snack bottle at 2.

I'm confused. He gets a bottle before daycare. Then gets another bottle at 9:30 and then another bottle at 10:30 and then another bottle at 2:00... With baby food at 8:30, baby food at 11:30... Good gracious that is an aweful LOTTTTT OF FOOD. His tummy never gets to get empty. I'm thinking now the child is crying because his stomach hurts... Yikes... How many ounces of baby food per feeding is he getting??
He's eating constantly throughout the day, but he's only eating/drinking one thing at a time which is not enough to fill him up. And I really think he needs cereal with his breakfast and maybe also his lunch as well as probably needs the next stage of food.

I have to take my daughter to the doctor's tomorrow. I will stop and buy him some food tomorrow. I will also tell his parents about me being required to provide the food and feed him according to the food program's requirements tomorrow and see how they react.

I answered in bold this doesn't sound like under feeding. At all

But regardless I don't allow parents to send pre made bottles or REFUSE to send formula when I request it.

Food program demanding a double serving of meat at lunch at 8 months?? :confused::confused:

[Baby Beluga]

It sounds like he has reflux. That much food combined with having reflux must be painful. What are his bm's like? Is he a gassy baby?

[LysesKids]

Amen. I refuse to care for a child if I don't even know what kind of formula they are drinking. I'm sorry but that terrifies me.

If I have a drop in baby, I ask the parents to bring me their can of formula and I return it at pick up.

I would be terrified To give a baby a pre made bottle. Call me paranoid but I could tell you some STORIES after working in pediatric nursing and the ER all these years.

Why do you need to wait until he end of the year to change a policy? I only do contracts once a year, but if I need to change a policy, that takes me five minutes to type it up. Why allow this to continue even another day??

What happens if the child has an emergency and the paramedics ask what formula the child drinks??

Gosh, so many red flags are going off in my head right now.

Why are you allowing a family to dictate what you KNOW is wrong?

THIS!!!! I allow only unopened cans because I use to have WIC moms water down their pre-made bottles; If a parent won't play by my rules then tough, go somewhere else... I understand being low on #'s, but Permanent needs to step up & boot them before she loses her license for adding to the neglect. I am very strict on certain things, I am not however, sorry at anytime if they don't like the rules because this is MY BUSINESS.

[craftymissbeth]

You may have already mentioned this but how long has the crying been going on? Are you positive this isn't just the notorious 7/8 month unhappy separation anxiety thing? 7/8 months is a super tough age, imo

[LysesKids]

No, they haven't given him meats yet. I am required to give him meat with his lunch next month. They also are not giving him cereal which I am required to give him for breakfast next month. I am also required to give him either cereal or a double serving of meat for lunch next month.

I really don't think the parents are going to go along with the food program requirements. I think I am going to lose him over this.

His father just got a promotion and might have his work hours changed and the mother is trying to change her work hours so they don't have to use daycare soon anyway. I think me fussing over his feeding schedule will probably push them over the edge and they will make sure not to need daycare.

Honey, just boot them now for crying out loud... I know you need the $$, but something like this is ridiculous to put up with for so long. If they don't like the food program policies tough... this is your business and the food program is Federal, so tell them to take it up with the government if they don't like the rules.

I have one mom, who when she first started, bitched that she wanted to provide her babies food because she was afraid he would like my homemade better and then wouldn't eat for her at home; I squashed that quickly and guess what, I still have her child in care. I also told them if they don't like the food program rules for times between feedings (and the times I set for snacks/meals) to take it up with the Agency that had the food program contract for my area.

[Leigh]

I have an almost 8 month old and he eats less than that. Every baby is different of course.

It is quite likely like the others said, that they aren't mixing the bottles correctly. So he is getting mostly water and hungry faster. Or they are going by a standard "how much your baby should be eating" schedule.

I think your best bet is to buy a box of rice cereal and give him that along with his fruits and veggies. That should fill him up a bit more. Have they given him meats yet? That would also help him stay full.

This is what I would do, too. Cereal is super cheap, and I would mix it with the fruits or veggies to fill him up. This would probably allow you to feed him on their stupid "schedule" and keep him happy.

[Blackcat31]

I'm sorry but this is ridiculous.

Tell the parents he needs xx amount of bottles per day. PERIOD.

If they do not bring the required amount of bottles, refuse care.

I know you said you can't afford to let this family go but seriously, can this child afford to be deprived of food because you don't want to risk losing the income??

PV, I am not trying to be rude to you and I am certainly not making light of your financial situation but your finances have NO bearing on a child's right to eat a HEALTHY and NECESSARY meal.

If the parents refuse, it is your obligation and moral duty to report them to CPS as this IS neglect.

I don't care how many ways you slice it or reshuffle the situation.
The child is hungry. His parents aren't providing him with enough food.

It should NOT be this complicated.

[Crazy8]

the amount of food they are providing for a day is more than my 11 month old eats so I would not say they are starving/neglecting him by any means with what they provide but I understand he is just hungrier when at your home. Honestly, I would just start giving the food/bottle together if you feel that would rectify the situation. If he is only with you from 8-11:30 and had a feeding at 7am you really should only have to feed him once - about 9:30-10am I would give him the food and the bottle. If they don't want you using that 2nd bottle on those days they will see he is hungry when they get home. But a child 7 month old should be able to go more than 2 hours without eating, if he can't I am not sure the crying is because of hunger.

And since you will be getting paid to provide meals for him starting next month I would just give the parents the food program info and then feed him what you are required to (although I really disagree with what your food program requires for an 8 month old!).

[NeedaVaca]

That really is a lot of food! I would start looking at other reasons for his crying.

[craftymissbeth]

I'm interested in the cereal OR double meat at lunch. I know each sponsor has their own rules, but I was under the impression that the meal patterns are not up for interpretation between different sponsors. As far as the meal pattern it should be the same across the country.

Here are the infant meal patterns directly from the USDA website:

http://www.fns.usda.gov/sites/default/files/Infant_Meals.pdf

ETA: are you sure you aren't confusing the meal pattern for lunch? You can serve cereal OR meat at lunch. But the cereal at breakfast is required.

[Heidi]

I would add a little cereal to his fruit and veggies. I'd also put him on the same eating schedule as the rest of your group. Every 3 hours. I can't even wait more than that for a meal before my stomach is growling.

Mine all get some sort of breakfast at home, then have breakfast here at 8:45, and lunch at 11:45, and snack after nap, usually 3:15-3:30 or so. Baby is on roughly the same schedule, but he only drinks bm/formula, and some days, he changes things up. This baby is only 12 weeks old, though, not 8 months.

Infants that age, I spoon feed their meals (fruit or veggie with cereal), give them sips from a cup in between bites, and then give them the rest of their formula in a bottle. For snack, I'd give him a cracker or two, and then his bottle. He's almost old enough to start transitioning to a cup.

I would NOT discuss gory details with parents. I would just say "hey, you guys don't have to bring food anymore, just formula, I've got it from here. If they ask why, say "well, it's just so inconvenient for you, and in a couple weeks, I have to do it anyway per my regs, so lets just save ourselves the trouble".

[permanentvacation]

They are sending what should be enough food for some babies his age. But it is all liquid - bottles of formula and stage 2 food which is basically liquid. It doesn't fill him up. So he eats constantly but never really feels full, so every couple of hours, hes hungry again. Every baby is different. This amount and type of food might fill up another baby, but it doesn't fill him up.

It's nothing other than being hungry. He's a very happy baby as long as his belly is full and his diaper is clean. When he starts crying like he's hungry, I change his diaper, try playing with him, moving him to different areas, everything. The only thing he wants is either food or a bottle - something to fill his belly. As soon as he eats/drinks, he's happy again for a while.

I talked to his mother this morning. I told her - basically every thing I have told her a few times already, but this time I did start out telling her that next month, because of the food program rules, I have to provide all the formula and food and he will have to eat according to the food program requirements. I told her how he eats his fruit and then a bottle here within an hour or so of being here even though he had a bottle before he left is house, so within 2 hours, he has 2 bottles and fruit. I told her I really believe he needs cereal in the morning. She did say a couple of times that she doesn't understand why his feeding schedule is different at home than here. I told her I think he's awake more here. I am lucky if he will sleep a full hour for nap here. She said that he slept for 3 hours straight when the dad took him home yesterday. I asked where he sleeps for nap at home. She said in his room with the door closed and when grand mom babysits him, she puts him in a room with the door closed so he sleeps for about 3 hours there as well. I told her that here he has to sleep on the main floor with the other child making noise playing, me talking, the phone ringing, and the dog barking and that he might maybe sleep about an hour here. So that's most likely why he needs to eat more here than at home. Simply because he's awake more here. She finally seemed to understand and agree that what I said makes sense. She said she will bring me a box of cereal for him tomorrow. And when I told her about the changes for next month, she simply said 'okay'. I really expected a debate. But she just said okay. So, hopefully she'll bring the cereal tomorrow and things will be better.

[permanentvacation]

In the food program calendar, there's a chart of what we have to feed them. It says for lunch/dinner; breast milk or formula, cereal and/or meat, fruit or vegetable or both, and meat. So if we don't give them cereal, then they have to have double meat.

[permanentvacation]

I didn't want to sneak and feed him cereal because the cereal will make his poop harder and I didn't want the parents to get worried about that.

He used to have reflux until they found this formula that he doesn't spit up. Now, he eats just fine and keeps everything down. It's just that the food they give him doesn't have any consistency, so he doesn't feel full. He's not gassy. He's hungry. As soon as I give him another bottle or feed him another container of food, he's happy. But just for a short while. So, they either need to give me more of this liquidy food or give me cereal and the next stage of food so he has something more substantial in his belly to make him feel full.

His mom said she'll bring cereal tomorrow. I'm closed tomorrow. So I will have to see what she does Friday. I think I'll buy some tonight just in case she forgets. Hopefully he will be better if I can get some cereal into him.

She said she has been feeding him stage 3 meats and stage 2 fruits/veges at home. She's just sending me the stage 2 foods to 'finish them up'. So, she should know that stage 2 isn't going to fill him up. She also said that she feeds him some people food like chicken, pancakes, etc. So I'm sitting here wondering if she knows he wants people food, why would she have him eating only liquid-type foods here?

Basically, she said she is feeding him more filling and substantial food at home, but sending me the liquid stuff that she knows is not filling enough for him!! But then fussing at me when I use all the food they send. So I'm like "uggh really!?!?" :confused: So when she said that, I realized that she's just trying not to waste the money she spent on the food that he really no longer needs. But, if that's the case, she should give him some of the more substantial food and use the stage 2 as a snack or part of the meal including the stage 3 foods.

I am definitely not allowing parents to provide the formula or food for the babies again!