Parents Won't Feed Their Child Enough

[daycarediva]

Change of contract for everyone for the new year.

Infants are fed on demand. A container of infant formula and 4 bottles will be required each Monday at drop off.

How many ounces is the baby eating? how often? can you look up the recommended ounces per age/weight and give Mom a printout that they are underfeeding? Or explain that daycare/during the day is more active and therefor, he/she is hungrier?

I can't imagine a parent saying 'don't feed my child'.

Depending on the age, I would be adding table foods the parents have already tried and/or advertising and replacing this family.

[Leigh]

Why are their wishes more important than the child’s well being? I don’t get it. You are willfully allowing yourself as a professional to be part of child neglect. If something goes wrong with this child it will equally fall on you.

I would speak to them and give them notice if they are unwilling to provide more food. I’d equally make a call to CPS. Enough is enough. Recently I had a parent who wasn’t giving me enough breast milk. I reminded her of our interview. I told her that if she is not producing enough, she has options.

1. Supplement the child with formula.
2. Quit her job and stay-at-home.

I told her I would not accept another drop off without enough milk. I told her to not feed this baby when he is hungry is equal to child neglect. I will not be an accomplish or take any part in not meeting a child’s needs. This was at the end of the 2nd day the child was crying excessively. She chose #1.

It is 100% their child. It is 100% career suicide to go along with parent’s inappropriate requests.

I do the same. My contract has a space for BF babies. The parents sign an agreement to allow supplementation with formula if there is not enough breast milk. I require a 2-day supply minimum for breast fed babies to be on hand here at all times.

[permanentvacation]

I have shown the parents what the Food Program recommends for the child's age. I have researched and told the parents how much of what foods he should eat at each meal. They just won't give me what I say he needs. They completely disagree with me and believe they are providing enough food. They keep acting like I don't know what I'm doing as far as knowing how to feed babies. They are losing their confidence in my ability to be the right daycare provider for their child. I've been a licensed daycare provider longer than either parent has been alive! I think I know my job and understand babies' cues by now. But the parents believe that they are right and I'm wrong.

I know they put him in his bedroom in his crib for naps and they say he takes longer naps then he does here. So I have told them a few times that since he's awake here more than at home, it makes sense that he's hungrier here more than at home. They don't care. They just want him to be fed according to the feeding schedule they have decided he should be on.

I 'require' that if the parent provides the formula, they give me a brand new can of formula that can stay here if I need to give the child an extra bottle. They used to do that until they changed formulas. Then they wanted their spare can of formula back and told me they changed his formula because he was spitting up so much. But they won't give me a new spare can of formula and won't tell me what type of formula he's on. So I can't sneak and buy him a can of formula for here.

I have argued with the parents about this so much that I really am afraid to tell them again that I believe he needs more food than they think he does out of fear of losing him. I only have 2 kids! I can't afford to lose half of my income.

[Cradle2crayons]

I require CANS of formula. I do not allow parents to being already made bottles or powder in a ziplock.

You have a few options.
(1) refuse care until they bring more
(2) change policy to no pre made bottles. Blame the state. Say you now are making the bottles due to risk of contamination during transport. Require a can of powder and four empty bottles
(3) keep allowing and contributing to the neglect of this baby


My policy is also on demand. I make he bottles. Too much risk of bad formula, unknown storage conditions, medications being put into he bottles etc.

Why should the parents do what you ask when you keep doing what they want?

[Unregistered]

I understand you need the money but is it really worth the hassle? and maybe setting yourself up for contributing to child neglect. There is no reason for a parent to do that to their child. I would call your licensor and let them know what is going on and then give the family notice.
I have been in daycare for over 20 years and I have never had or heard of a parent doing this to a child.

[permanentvacation]

After reading Cradle2Crayon's suggestion of 'blame it on the state', I remembered that next month, after the baby turns 8 months old, I will be required by the food program to provide his formula and food in order to claim him on the food program. So, I will tell his parents that. I only have 5 more days this month that I will be watching him due to my being closed and their scheduled days off.

So, I will 'blame it on the state', but it will be the truth. And we will see if he continues to come here next month. For breakfast, he's required to have cereal (which the parents don't give him now. They said his formula has cereal in it. But even so, I have to give him cereal separate from his bottle), fruit and/or veges, and his bottle - all at one sitting, not an hour apart from each other like they have him eating now. Lunch has to be his bottle, cereal, fruit and/or veges, and meat. Again, all at the same sitting. I don't know how his parents are going to react to this. I'm probably going to lose him over trying to feed him properly and whoever they get to watch him will feed him however they say to anyway. I'm probably just screwing myself here. But, according to the food program, that's what's required, so that's what I will tell the parents I have to do and we'll see what they do.

My handbook/contract is a yearly agreement. Which means that at the end of the calendar year, no matter when you hired me, it expires on December 31st each year. I am then able to make changes to the handbook/contract and change my rates, etc. So, I will make a change in it that I am required to provide all formula and baby food for the babies no matter what their age.


Daycarediva,

I have said to myself many times that I can't believe the parents are fussing at me for WANTING to feed their child! And that I can't believe I am afraid of losing a child because I want to feed him when he's hungry! I don't get it! I sit here and shake my head every day that the parents and I get into an argument about this.

[permanentvacation]

Guest,

I've been a licensed provider for 25 years and NEVER had a parent fuss at me for feeding or wanting to feed their child either! I just don't understand this. And they have plenty of money!

I really think at home, he eats on the schedule they tell me, but here, for some reason, probably because there's more noise here and he doesn't take as long of naps here as they say he does at home. He's awake here more throughout the day, so he needs to eat more here. That makes perfect sense to me. And I have explained that to them a few times. But they just firmly believe he should eat according to the schedule they know of him needing at home.

I don't think they are trying to do wrong to their child. I think they don't understand why he would be on a different schedule here. The parents are really nice people and really love their baby.

I will try to remember to tell them tomorrow that I will have to start providing the food for him and let you guys know how that goes.

[permanentvacation]

As far as a couple of you commenting on it being neglect, that's why I am posting about this here. Because it is wrong to make him cry for so long because he's hungry. When the parents realize that I have fed him every 3 hours instead of every 4, they fuss at me and I tell him that I can only let him cry for so long. I have to feed him when he's hungry. Then they are just mad at me. I seriously don't understand how parents can be mad at me when I tell them that the child was crying, I tried playing with him, changed his diaper, tried holding him, rocking him, tried to get him to go to sleep, but nothing made him stop crying, so I was sure it was out of being hungry, and when I gave him his bottle, he shook his hands and grabbed it like "Oh thank God my bottle!" and then sucked it all down in a matter of seconds! How does a parent get mad at me for feeding him after I explain that!?! I have tried to reason with the parents on my own and am now trying to get you guys' help on how to get the parents to provide more food or other ideas on how to fix this situation.

[craftymissbeth]

If your policy is to require a can of formula then why are you allowing them to break policy? Why are you accepting this child into care every day knowing that you don't have enough formula?

I would no longer accept premade bottles. This family sounds like the type to make bottles with not enough scoops of formula. You literally have no idea what is in this child's bottles and they refuse to tell you??? That sounds extremely fishy!!!

[permanentvacation]

He had problems with throwing up and they tried a couple of brands of formula. This time, they found a formula that he doesn't get sick from, but whenever I ask what the name of it is, they just keep talking without answering my question.

They used to provide a can of formula here, but since they got on this one, they won't bring me a can. At first, I thought it was just because they didn't want to spend the money on an extra can if this formula didn't work like the other ones didn't. Which makes enough sense to me. They also used to provide extra food. And they used to be really lenient about his feeding schedule and agreed with me about feeding him when he seemed hungry. But when they started this formula, they stopped providing extra food and started demanding that I follow this feeding schedule.

But you are right, I don't know if they are preparing the bottles correctly.

[Imagination's Creations]

Have you looked up the recommended ounces per feeding for the baby's age? How do you know he isnt just drinking more while in your care for comfort? If not then I would do what the others have suggested. You need to change something so they're either required to have back up formula or you dont watch him.

[craftymissbeth]

He had problems with throwing up and they tried a couple of brands of formula. This time, they found a formula that he doesn't get sick from, but whenever I ask what the name of it is, they just keep talking without answering my question.

They used to provide a can of formula here, but since they got on this one, they won't bring me a can. At first, I thought it was just because they didn't want to spend the money on an extra can if this formula didn't work like the other ones didn't. Which makes enough sense to me. They also used to provide extra food. And they used to be really lenient about his feeding schedule and agreed with me about feeding him when he seemed hungry. But when they started this formula, they stopped providing extra food and started demanding that I follow this feeding schedule.

But you are right, I don't know if they are preparing the bottles correctly.

You didn't answer my questions

Why aren't YOU holding them to your policy of being required to provide a can?

Why are YOU accepting their child when they show up without a can?

[Heidi]

I guess I wonder why they even need every gory detail about what he eats there and when.

If your on the food program, and you're being reimbursed for his meals, then feed him. Cereal, veggies, fruit, and whatever formula they send. They provide formula, you provide the rest, right? That's how it goes here, anyway. So, he'd get more spoon foods than formula, maybe, but he certainly wouldn't go hungry.

At almost 8 months, he'd be on the same meal schedule here as everyone else, roughly every 3 hours. He'd be eating his food, followed by his formula (a little in a cup, then a bottle), while the other's ate their meal. At 8 months, he should also be able to start some easy-to-nibble crackers.

[craftymissbeth]

Have you looked up the recommended ounces per feeding for the baby's age? How do you know he isnt just drinking more while in your care for comfort? If not then I would do what the others have suggested. You need to change something so they're either required to have back up formula or you dont watch him.

What if he's so hungry because they don't make his bottles properly? I have a suspicion that he's now on a much more expensive formula for the spitting up and now they're cutting corners to save money. I would cut premade bottles.

[craftymissbeth]

I guess I wonder why they even need every gory detail about what he eats there and when.

If your on the food program, and you're being reimbursed for his meals, then feed him. Cereal, veggies, fruit, and whatever formula they send. They provide formula, you provide the rest, right? That's how it goes here, anyway. So, he'd get more spoon foods than formula, maybe, but he certainly wouldn't go hungry.

At almost 8 months, he'd be on the same meal schedule here as everyone else, roughly every 3 hours. He'd be eating his food, followed by his formula (a little in a cup, then a bottle), while the other's ate their meal. At 8 months, he should also be able to start some easy-to-nibble crackers.

I also wondered about the solid food. My program does not allow parents to provide ANY food. If they do i can't claim it

ETA: my 8 month olds typically only get 3 bottles a day at that point. Between 6-8 oz each.