CIO 7-Mos.-Old

[Jack Sprat]

I think the key to sleep training is learning to distinguish the cries of your child. Is your child truly suffering or is it an angry "give me what I want right NOW" type of cry? You will have to learn to say no to the spoiled crying and know when to intervene and when to be hands off. It takes time but the biggest factor in success is consistency. Stick to your nap routine, stick to your nap time frame. Put your child to sleep the same place the same way the same time every single day. Dont get emotionally involved in the screaming meaning keep your cool. Dont go in until you can be calm and consistent. If you are not ready to do that, then just let your child do whatever they want because inconsistency is really confusing to a child and just makes it worse. I believe that is what makes a child feel abandoned....when they are dumped somewhere at random and are confused about what is happening. If it is a part of your routine and you are doing this because your child NEEDS to sleep and are considering her needs versus her wants.....that is not abandoning, that is parenting. Just because a child is crying, does not make it CIO, in my opinion. One place to start would be here http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/12...-eileen-henry/

and here http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/09...babies-crying/

and you also have to consider if wearing for naps and co sleeping is really working for you anymore. Just because she is passing out by night time does not mean that the whole picture of co sleeping is right for your family at this time.

I don't like CIO either. However! I do like nap time. I have a dcg who is 13 months and sleeps with her parents, naps on mommy on the couch. They are expecting a baby at the end of May. This baby will attend daycare with big sis starting in July. I use CIO with dcg now. I HATE it! But, let me say this. The first week she cried for 20 minutes before sleeping for 30, the second week she cried 15 minutes and then slept for 45 minutes, the third week she cried 15 minutes and slept two hours. She isn't here everyday and this makes it rough. Everything I do gets undone when she is gone. But, she is getting there. Today, she cried for 5 minutes and slept 20. She pooped so I went in said nothing changed her and laid her back down. She cried well, really screamed and is now talking to her baby doll. I hope this is all sorted out before the baby comes. I am also hoping the family brings her or its going to suck when the newborn and her both are here. !

[Unregistered]

Dealing with the same thing here

I am trying so hard to get the dcm of my 13 month old dcg to understand that there is no need for her to be breast feeding thoughout the night at this point. She sleeps with her parents and mom still nurses throughout the night. Dcg wakes up no less than 5 times a night and mom is always complaining about being tired. I managed to get her to nap on her own at my house but it was really, really hard because mom and dad don't follow through at home. Dcg wants to be rocked to sleep and held for the duration of the time that she sleeps and mom and dad give in! I won't. I think that the best that you can hope for is to sleep train the dck at your house at least. You can't make the parents change their ways but you can control how sleeping goes at your house. Good luck!

[LeslieG]

I have a 6 month old dcg that would only fall asleep if I rocked her in my arms. I would go in and rock her back to sleep every time she woke up. Once I started doing that, it just got worse. I would go in and rock her and then I would try to put a sleeping baby back in her crib but of course she would wake up (if not the second I put her back in her crib, then in 10-15 minutes). I couldn't do it anymore.. I was going crazy and I NEEDED my break at nap time!!

I tried cio, but that didn't work with her.

So I just started this method about a week ago, so I don't know if it will work long term or not. When she wakes up crying I go in there and pick her up. I do not rock or sway her.. I just hold her. I don't talk and hardly make any eye contact at all. I hold her for only 2-3 minutes max because I don't want her to fall asleep in my arms. I just want her to see that I'm there and calm her down. (If, while I'm holding her she arches her back or continues screaming, then I just set her down in her crib and walk away.) After 2-3 minutes of holding her, I put her back in her crib. Surprisingly, she will usually fall right back asleep on her own.

There have been days were I had to go in there 3 times in a row, and I decided after 3 times, I would just let her cio a little bit. She'll usually cry for about 10-15 minutes and then she's out.

I don't know.. I'm still trying this method out, but I just thought I'd share!! Hope it gets better :hug:

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I did CIO with my DS when he was about 4 months old. It took about a week, with each night becoming easier/quicker than the one before.

My technique was to have a nightime routine of bath, bottle, and cuddles before actual bedtime. At bedtime, I'd take him up, give him a hug and kiss, lie him down and cover him up, say good night and leave the room. Then I'd wait for him to start crying. After 5 minutes of crying (which is an eternity, btw), I'd go back in, make no eye contact, use no words, and simply lie him back down, cover him up, and leave again. Lather, rinse, repeat after every 5 minutes of crying (sometimes he'd be quiet for 10 minutes before crying again, but I always waited until he'd been crying for a full 5 minutes to go back in and resettle him). If he was quiet for 10 minutes, then cried for 3 minutes, then stopped, then started crying again, I'd still wait for 5 minutes of sustained crying before going back in. If it was coming up on five minutes but he sounded like he was almost cried out (the crying was winding way down), I'd consider not going in right away and maybe wait an extra minute before going back in.

Like I said, it took about a week until crying at bedtime became about 20 seconds of half-hearted fussing followed by quiet and sleep. We still had a very close bond and he seemed to trust me every bit as much as any other child trusted their parent (especially the primary caregiver). It wasn't the easiest bit of parenting I've done, but it's by far not the hardest, and DS seemed unharmed by it.

Now these teen years, OTOH. Not sure if DS and I will both live through them LOL.

I have an almost 18yo (adopted if it is confusing that the baby is my first baby) and I have let him have many a tantrum without any worry at all ::. Teen years suck. No nice way to put that!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I have a 6 month old dcg that would only fall asleep if I rocked her in my arms. I would go in and rock her back to sleep every time she woke up. Once I started doing that, it just got worse. I would go in and rock her and then I would try to put a sleeping baby back in her crib but of course she would wake up (if not the second I put her back in her crib, then in 10-15 minutes). I couldn't do it anymore.. I was going crazy and I NEEDED my break at nap time!!

I tried cio, but that didn't work with her.

So I just started this method about a week ago, so I don't know if it will work long term or not. When she wakes up crying I go in there and pick her up. I do not rock or sway her.. I just hold her. I don't talk and hardly make any eye contact at all. I hold her for only 2-3 minutes max because I don't want her to fall asleep in my arms. I just want her to see that I'm there and calm her down. (If, while I'm holding her she arches her back or continues screaming, then I just set her down in her crib and walk away.) After 2-3 minutes of holding her, I put her back in her crib. Surprisingly, she will usually fall right back asleep on her own.

There have been days were I had to go in there 3 times in a row, and I decided after 3 times, I would just let her cio a little bit. She'll usually cry for about 10-15 minutes and then she's out.

I don't know.. I'm still trying this method out, but I just thought I'd share!! Hope it gets better :hug:

I will keep this in mind, too!!! I am starting something tom night so all stories are super helpful!

[Jack Sprat]

I am trying so hard to get the dcm of my 13 month old dcg to understand that there is no need for her to be breast feeding thoughout the night at this point. She sleeps with her parents and mom still nurses throughout the night. Dcg wakes up no less than 5 times a night and mom is always complaining about being tired. I managed to get her to nap on her own at my house but it was really, really hard because mom and dad don't follow through at home. Dcg wants to be rocked to sleep and held for the duration of the time that she sleeps and mom and dad give in! I won't. I think that the best that you can hope for is to sleep train the dck at your house at least. You can't make the parents change their ways but you can control how sleeping goes at your house. Good luck!

Funny thing is the parents are totally on board with the way I am doing it. DCD wants to do it at home. DCM not so much. I know how she feels it is hard. But, it will be much harder when baby gets here and no one is sleeping well. I update her a lot with our progress hoping she will jump on board at home.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I am trying so hard to get the dcm of my 13 month old dcg to understand that there is no need for her to be breast feeding thoughout the night at this point. She sleeps with her parents and mom still nurses throughout the night. Dcg wakes up no less than 5 times a night and mom is always complaining about being tired. I managed to get her to nap on her own at my house but it was really, really hard because mom and dad don't follow through at home. Dcg wants to be rocked to sleep and held for the duration of the time that she sleeps and mom and dad give in! I won't. I think that the best that you can hope for is to sleep train the dck at your house at least. You can't make the parents change their ways but you can control how sleeping goes at your house. Good luck!

:: Well, this is my kid so I can control everything except her crazy self. Truly, so strong willed.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Funny thing is the parents are totally on board with the way I am doing it. DCD wants to do it at home. DCM not so much. I know how she feels it is hard. But, it will be much harder when baby gets here and no one is sleeping well. I update her a lot with our progress hoping she will jump on board at home.

If a daycare was doing this I would have no issue doing it at home, too. I would feel WORSE for confusing my poor child causing them to have freak outs at naptime every daycare day!!

[debbiedoeszip]

I have an almost 18yo (adopted if it is confusing that the baby is my first baby) and I have let him have many a tantrum without any worry at all ::. Teen years suck. No nice way to put that!

DS will be 17 in a week. I'm pretty happy to be almost "done". Yes, they do suck LOL.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

DS will be 17 in a week. I'm pretty happy to be almost "done". Yes, they do suck LOL.

Mine will be 18 in 2, how funny!! Yes ALMOST DONE!!!!!!!!! Praise Jesus! I am pulling my hair out with both crazies.

[debbiedoeszip]

<<<<I am pulling my hair out with both crazies.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

No doubt! I would be too.

[Jack Sprat]

Our DD just turned 12. We are pulling our hair out now and will be bald by the time she is 18!

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Our DD just turned 12. We are pulling our hair out now and will be bald by the time she is 18!

I joke quite seriously about it.
"WORST experience of my life!"
"Would you do it again?"
"Totally" :: ...insanity....

[Jack Sprat]

I joke quite seriously about it.
"WORST experience of my life!"
"Would you do it again?"
"Totally" :: ...insanity....

::lovethis

[Cradle2crayons]

She is queen of angry crying. She is stubborn so beingh patted to sleep is laughable! She would be enraged. :: NO, much of this does NOT work for us any longer.

Others may disagree... But my honest opinion.... Cold turkey... But you have to be seriously wanting to follow through. The first few weeks are hard. But well worth it in the end.

IMHO, I highly discourage he laying down with them thing... It backfires more than it works,

:hug: it's hard. Just keep repeating... She's warm, dry, fed and she's just pitching a fit... Rinse and repeat...