CIO 7-Mos.-Old

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Please, for the love of God, tell me what you know about teaching an almost 8-month-old to SLEEP. My child is attachment parented. We weaned her off sleeping ON a parent, because it was irritating, at night but if she isn't in the bed where she can roll over to touch you and make sure you are there then she only sleeps 30-60 min. Naptime is even worse! To get her to sleep now is plain straight ridiculous and includes arched back screaming while being rocked until she falls asleep OR simply falling asleep eating because she was so crazy. If you put her down she wakes in 10 minutes!!!

I am going to pull my hair out. This is insanity. I wanted her to feel like her needs were met and she wasn't abandoned in a crib but now I feel trapped by horrendous sleeping habits. I had so many people telling me the negatives of CIO and I know there are many advocates here. Please tell me what you know...tell me I won't damage her ability to REALLY trust by doing it...

[Cradle2crayons]

Parents of my newer 22 month old are needing the same help. They want the girl out of the bed... But they don't want to do harm either. She was a heart baby and after she got well the parents couldn't get her out of te bed.

We had the same issue with my now 11 year old. We did CIO with her. The first week is hardest. But we found cold turkey and sticking to our guns were what we had to do. She isn't damaged if that makes you feel better?

[gracepatiencelove]

I don't know. I do know that I am in a similar situation and I am very anti CIO but I cannot ignore everyone else to constantly please my 7mo dcg. I feel bad when she cries but idk what else to do. She is dry, fed, not sick, moderate temp...

I'm roughing this out til schools out so...

Following

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

She is totally fine around the kids. It is the sleeping BATTLE that is killing me! I think I will start it tomorrow so that we have the 3 day weekend on our side. What do I do?! How do I do it?!? She is really stubborn.

Mine didn't have any issues at birth...she was just my first live baby out of 4 so I enjoyed the snuggling. Still do but the sleep battle is getting to be horrible and I could really benefit from a child that will nap on her own!!!
If she was over 1 I wouldn't even be worried since she was out of infancy. Ugh.

[spinnymarie]

If you REALLY want to get her out of your bed immediately, I'd look into the Ferber method, as it seems easier on parents
My own two-year old comes into our bed around midnight every night - but I've found that the closer the get to three years old, the less they wake all the way up from sleep and the easier it is for them to self soothe and go back to sleep on their own.
I do it out of pure laziness - I am not prepared to go in to her room 17 times a night, nor am I prepared to let her cry.
My older two simply stopped coming in when they go to be about 3

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

If you REALLY want to get her out of your bed immediately, I'd look into the Ferber method, as it seems easier on parents
My own two-year old comes into our bed around midnight every night - but I've found that the closer the get to three years old, the less they wake all the way up from sleep and the easier it is for them to self soothe and go back to sleep on their own.
I do it out of pure laziness - I am not prepared to go in to her room 17 times a night, nor am I prepared to let her cry.
My older two simply stopped coming in when they go to be about 3

Nighttime sleep doesn't bug me. I guess it is just the process and the fact that she won't nap unless she is being held or worn in an ergo or wrap. Ahhh.

[cheerfuldom]

I think the key to sleep training is learning to distinguish the cries of your child. Is your child truly suffering or is it an angry "give me what I want right NOW" type of cry? You will have to learn to say no to the spoiled crying and know when to intervene and when to be hands off. It takes time but the biggest factor in success is consistency. Stick to your nap routine, stick to your nap time frame. Put your child to sleep the same place the same way the same time every single day. Dont get emotionally involved in the screaming meaning keep your cool. Dont go in until you can be calm and consistent. If you are not ready to do that, then just let your child do whatever they want because inconsistency is really confusing to a child and just makes it worse. I believe that is what makes a child feel abandoned....when they are dumped somewhere at random and are confused about what is happening. If it is a part of your routine and you are doing this because your child NEEDS to sleep and are considering her needs versus her wants.....that is not abandoning, that is parenting. Just because a child is crying, does not make it CIO, in my opinion. One place to start would be here http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/12...-eileen-henry/

and here http://www.janetlansbury.com/2011/09...babies-crying/

and you also have to consider if wearing for naps and co sleeping is really working for you anymore. Just because she is passing out by night time does not mean that the whole picture of co sleeping is right for your family at this time.

[debbiedoeszip]

Will she nap next to you, as in on a couch with you sitting on same couch? Maybe with you patting or rubbing her back as she falls asleep.

My DS, at that age, would sometimes fall asleep on the living room carpet (only him and I at home at the time) if I got busy and missed his *I need a nap* cues. I'd just cover him up and let him sleep where he lay.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

She is queen of angry crying. She is stubborn so beingh patted to sleep is laughable! She would be enraged. :: NO, much of this does NOT work for us any longer.

[mountainside13]

A little out there but try a pack n play and make your bed level to the pack n play. Either by taking out the frame or just laying the mattress on the floor. Then have the pnp right next to your side of the bed. She will be very close to you, see you and feel comfort. Then every few nights move the pnp a little farther away. I had to do this with my youngest. Good luck! It's hard! He didn't sleep through the night until around 20 months

[Hollydawn]

Your little one and my Leo could be friends.

He is nine months and only sleeps when held or in bed with me. He also nurses a billion times per night.

He is my third. I parented my first two much the same but they were not like this guy. When I attempt to lay him down while he's asleep, he wakes up and screams like it's his job.

Fortunately, for him I am soft and will just ride it out until it passes or until he's older. I did a modified CIO with my middle son but not until he was almost two.

If you're comfortable with it, CIO will be your best bet.

Good luck!

[NightOwl]

Ok I'll be the devil's advocate on this one. I'm agreeing with the CIO, but not so much on the he/she WON'T sleep unless....
Yes, they will. It's us, the adults, who give in and then say my baby won't sleep unless... They may CIO, they may do it for hours, but in many cases, this is simply a war of the wills. Who's willing to hold out longer? You or your baby? It's almost always the baby because us moms are A1 suckers and can't stand to think our baby is unhappy. If they CIO long enough, they WILL go to sleep. It's biologically impossible not to. And before anyone takes offense, know that my 5.5 year old still sleeps right between my husband and I every single night, even though I know how I could end it. But I don't, because I'm also a sucker. Lol.

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

I will bring out the travel pack n play again but over ight she just doesn't get much sleep in it. I have tried. Is it possible to have her sleep in a crib or pack n play during the day and co-sleep at night or bad idea?

[EntropyControlSpecialist]

Ok I'll be the devil's advocate on this one. I'm agreeing with the CIO, but not so much on the he/she WON'T sleep unless....
Yes, they will. It's us, the adults, who give in and then say my baby won't sleep unless... They may CIO, they may do it for hours, but in many cases, this is simply a war of the wills. Who's willing to hold out longer? You or your baby? It's almost always the baby because us moms are A1 suckers and can't stand to think our baby is unhappy. If they CIO long enough, they WILL go to sleep. It's biologically impossible not to. And before anyone takes offense, know that my 5.5 year old still sleeps right between my husband and I every single night, even though I know how I could end it. But I don't, because I'm also a sucker. Lol.

She just wakes so often it is miserable at night!

[debbiedoeszip]

I did CIO with my DS when he was about 4 months old. It took about a week, with each night becoming easier/quicker than the one before.

My technique was to have a nightime routine of bath, bottle, and cuddles before actual bedtime. At bedtime, I'd take him up, give him a hug and kiss, lie him down and cover him up, say good night and leave the room. Then I'd wait for him to start crying. After 5 minutes of crying (which is an eternity, btw), I'd go back in, make no eye contact, use no words, and simply lie him back down, cover him up, and leave again. Lather, rinse, repeat after every 5 minutes of crying (sometimes he'd be quiet for 10 minutes before crying again, but I always waited until he'd been crying for a full 5 minutes to go back in and resettle him). If he was quiet for 10 minutes, then cried for 3 minutes, then stopped, then started crying again, I'd still wait for 5 minutes of sustained crying before going back in. If it was coming up on five minutes but he sounded like he was almost cried out (the crying was winding way down), I'd consider not going in right away and maybe wait an extra minute before going back in.

Like I said, it took about a week until crying at bedtime became about 20 seconds of half-hearted fussing followed by quiet and sleep. We still had a very close bond and he seemed to trust me every bit as much as any other child trusted their parent (especially the primary caregiver). It wasn't the easiest bit of parenting I've done, but it's by far not the hardest, and DS seemed unharmed by it.

Now these teen years, OTOH. Not sure if DS and I will both live through them LOL.