Need Help Before I Cave

[Heidi]

Thank goodness I found this! I have a newbie (12 months) here as well. Same scenario! This is her 2nd day. At home she is used to being rocked to sleep with a bottle and naps with mom. Yesterday and today she fell asleep in the van on way home from dropping DD at school. Yesterday she napped for 45 min and screamed for 30 minutes. Today she woke up when I laid her down but, went back to sleep. She has slept for 45 min, coughed pretty hard and woke up. She is crying off and on now. A mad as hell kind of cry. Part of me wants to go and rock and give her the bottle but, I know in the long run that will create more issues. She does great all morning, but I know she is exhausted! She is used to sleeping till 8. She arrives here at 7. I have thought about doing two naps but, like a PP said I can't stand the thought of going through this twice a day. Her parents are expecting there 2nd in May, and are hoping that the bottle and naps can be figured out by then. Thing is I don't see them doing Ferber or CIO but, I did explain that just because she does it here doesn't mean it will be like that at home

OP how is your little one doing?

Yes...update, please?

[Josiegirl]

Unfortunately, I never made it the 2 week trial period. The dcps are wonderful(I have their other dd) but they were hoping I'd be the one to train their littlest into napping after 11 months of being rocked to sleep. I told the dcps halfway into the 2nd week that it was affecting me and the care I was offering the rest of the group. What clinched the decision for me was having chest pains during the night before I told them and I was really starting to hate each day. I went back and forth so many times, and apologized over and over because I really did feel badly about failing them. But without her here, it's been nice. They found another dc and the part that kinda bothers me is they never tried to work with me on her sleeping issues but did as soon as they had to look for other dc.

I hope, Jack Sprat, your outcome is better than mine. But if it starts affecting you, and the rest of your kiddos, don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work out.

[blandino]

They found another dc and the part that kinda bothers me is they never tried to work with me on her sleeping issues but did as soon as they had to look for other dc.

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Yes, that can be quite annoying. But it is simply their misplaced anger/frustration. They SHOULD be irritated at themselves for causing this whole fiasco. However, people are quite horrible at letting the blame fall on themselves. They will blame you, in some ways (i.e. not trying to work on it), but they will fix it for another DCP.

It's very obnoxious, but the biggest lesson I have seen being a provider, is that people will blame everyone for their own issues, except themselves.

[Laurel]

I had a problem with a baby that age. He wouldn't sleep at all. So I tried different things and nothing worked. Finally, after months, I told the parents that I had a plan but if it didn't work then I wouldn't be able to watch him anymore. Wow, did they shape up and he was sleeping in a week and well.

It turns out that he would wake up at about 6 a.m. and they would give him a bottle and let him go back to sleep and arrive at 9 a.m. to my house. Once they stopped that and kept him up he slept at my house (and his at night). I didn't know what was going on at their house but I knew they did all kinds of things to get him to sleep at night including putting him in their bed and rocking him, etc.

I told them that I just couldn't work an 11 hour day with no break. They completely understood and said they would work on it. My plan was changing my whole nap system around. I decided to do like they must do in centers. Usually each child here has their own room to sleep in. I decided to have 3 in a room and I stayed in it (the one with my computer in it so I wouldn't feel like I wasn't getting a break). I took my two mat nappers and put his crib in the middle of the two of them. My idea was to have them show the baby how to sleep. The two and three year old 'really' got into this. They were still to 'show him' how big kids slept. He could lie down and still see them.

Then I set up a routine. After lunch, I'd put them down, make the room fairly dark, and put this music on youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU0fYzuypXg. Gosh, I even love this music and it goes for 8 full hours. It repeats about 5 or 6 songs. We use it every single day now. I rub backs if needed but don't have to do the baby's at all.

The combination of giving the parents an ultimatum (and I hated to cause they are wonderful) and doing my plan has worked and is still working. Yesterday though before lunch we were walking home from the park and he fell asleep in his stroller. Even that 15 minutes made him not nap AT ALL yesterday. So the key was once he gets up in the a.m. he stays up until nap.

Hope that helps.

Laurel

[Jack Sprat]

Dcb was very tired this morning. I wanted to avoid morning nap but, today she really needed it. I changed her laid her down at 9:30 she screamed till 9:40 when I went to check on her. Well, she had pooped. So, changed that. Held her for a minute really no more then that and laid her back down. She was sitting up, eyes closed, head swaying, screaming! I did try to lay her down. That was a mistake! Now, its quite in there has been for about 5 minutes. We do lunch at 11 so I will be waking her a little before then. She is doing great other then sleeping.

[Heidi]

Dcb was very tired this morning. I wanted to avoid morning nap but, today she really needed it. I changed her laid her down at 9:30 she screamed till 9:40 when I went to check on her. Well, she had pooped. So, changed that. Held her for a minute really no more then that and laid her back down. She was sitting up, eyes closed, head swaying, screaming! I did try to lay her down. That was a mistake! Now, its quite in there has been for about 5 minutes. We do lunch at 11 so I will be waking her a little before then. She is doing great other then sleeping.

Mine that age ( from 6-18 months or so) get a nap right after breakfast for 45 minutes (I wake them up), and then a full afternoon nap with the others at 12:15/12:30 (3 hours).

Here's my suggestions, amend as you need:

We have the same routine after breakfast and lunch. We eat together, then we read a story, then we sing the nighty night song (nighty nighty nighty night, nighty nighty nighty) dumb, but simple and a good "cue". You can make up your own song. Mine has no real tune...

Then I take each one to their bed (wave night night). My advice is take any other nappers first, then her, and have her see that other's are napping, too (unless in the am no one is...still try to stick as close to the ritual as possible). Put her in bed, say "I will come back when nap is over", tuck her in, and walk away. THE END.

After 45 minutes, go into the room singing "It time to wake up" brightly and loudly (tune of Happy Birthday), so she can hear you coming, and wake her up. Roses and sunshine...oh, did you have a nice nap? blah blah blah. Next nap, same thing, only longer time period. I have one who does not sleep as long, but he has a couple toys and a book (allowed here...no stuffed toys) and his pacifier, and he is learning to play and wait if he wakes up early. I still tell him "if you wake up early, you can play or look at your book. I will come back when nap is over".

The 8 month old here sometimes wakes up early. I go in, give paci, and say whisper "it's still nap time. Your friends are still sleeping. I will come back when nap is over". I will go in ONE time, and only after he's slept. It rarely happens, though, because even he will play quietly and wait now, on those rare occasions he wakes early.

Then, at the end of nap time...same thing again. Loud singing, same song.

My kids started singing along to the nighty night song at 10 or 11 months. It's hilarious to have 3 babies/toddlers singing with you, bobbing their heads back and forth.

[Jack Sprat]

Mine that age ( from 6-18 months or so) get a nap right after breakfast for 45 minutes (I wake them up), and then a full afternoon nap with the others at 12:15/12:30 (3 hours).

Here's my suggestions, amend as you need:

We have the same routine after breakfast and lunch. We eat together, then we read a story, then we sing the nighty night song (nighty nighty nighty night, nighty nighty nighty) dumb, but simple and a good "cue". You can make up your own song. Mine has no real tune...

Then I take each one to their bed (wave night night). My advice is take any other nappers first, then her, and have her see that other's are napping, too (unless in the am no one is...still try to stick as close to the ritual as possible). Put her in bed, say "I will come back when nap is over", tuck her in, and walk away. THE END.

After 45 minutes, go into the room singing "It time to wake up" brightly and loudly (tune of Happy Birthday), so she can hear you coming, and wake her up. Roses and sunshine...oh, did you have a nice nap? blah blah blah. Next nap, same thing, only longer time period. I have one who does not sleep as long, but he has a couple toys and a book (allowed here...no stuffed toys) and his pacifier, and he is learning to play and wait if he wakes up early. I still tell him "if you wake up early, you can play or look at your book. I will come back when nap is over".

The 8 month old here sometimes wakes up early. I go in, give paci, and say whisper "it's still nap time. Your friends are still sleeping. I will come back when nap is over". I will go in ONE time, and only after he's slept. It rarely happens, though, because even he will play quietly and wait now, on those rare occasions he wakes early.

Then, at the end of nap time...same thing again. Loud singing, same song.

My kids started singing along to the nighty night song at 10 or 11 months. It's hilarious to have 3 babies/toddlers singing with you, bobbing their heads back and forth.

We are similar with routine here. All my others are one nap a day kids. We read books right after lunch and do diaper changes. The older ones (2's) know the routine and handed her some books today. She comes in the room with me and watches them pick out their lovies, I tuck each one in and start their nap time music. I tell them "happy nappy and love you little men" and off I go. I took her in to her nap room. Closed curtains, said "good night world" cue the crying , turned on Pandora to Chopin, laid her down, and left the room. She did cry but, has been quiet for 19 minutes. I think she is getting better. The first day her nap was maybe 30 minutes. This morning she woke up after 45 min. But, she was happy and ready for lunch. DCM said she has been eating more at home then she has in months, she is also eating well here. I did mention that it may be because she only gets bottle right before nap and has to sit and drink it or I have to be holding her. DCM said at home she is allowed to have it whenever.

[Heidi]

We are similar with routine here. All my others are one nap a day kids. We read books right after lunch and do diaper changes. The older ones (2's) know the routine and handed her some books today. She comes in the room with me and watches them pick out their lovies, I tuck each one in and start their nap time music. I tell them "happy nappy and love you little men" and off I go. I took her in to her nap room. Closed curtains, said "good night world" cue the crying , turned on Pandora to Chopin, laid her down, and left the room. She did cry but, has been quiet for 19 minutes. I think she is getting better. The first day her nap was maybe 30 minutes. This morning she woke up after 45 min. But, she was happy and ready for lunch. DCM said she has been eating more at home then she has in months, she is also eating well here. I did mention that it may be because she only gets bottle right before nap and has to sit and drink it or I have to be holding her. DCM said at home she is allowed to have it whenever.

Oh, you've got this!

I think I would just try the morning nap, if she needs one, as early as feasible. That way, she will sleep in the afternoon, too, and you'll get that break. Mine are here at 7-7:30, though, so the are up at 6:15 already. If they could sleep later, they'd probably drop the a.m. nap now.

[Jack Sprat]

Oh, you've got this!

I think I would just try the morning nap, if she needs one, as early as feasible. That way, she will sleep in the afternoon, too, and you'll get that break. Mine are here at 7-7:30, though, so the are up at 6:15 already. If they could sleep later, they'd probably drop the a.m. nap now.

Going to try that! Today she sat in the little rocking chair and slept for 30 minutes. She probably would have slept longer but, it was lunch time. She cried today for 20 minutes before she stopped. At one point when I looked in she was standing in the corner scratching the pack n play quietly! I think she like the scratchy noise.

[Heidi]

Going to try that! Today she sat in the little rocking chair and slept for 30 minutes. She probably would have slept longer but, it was lunch time. She cried today for 20 minutes before she stopped. At one point when I looked in she was standing in the corner scratching the pack n play quietly! I think she like the scratchy noise.

Yeah! She is learning to self-soothe.

So...what time does she get there? Why is she falling asleep in the rocker? I personally, would not allow it. Sorry, but I'd sweetly get her up immediately and say "I know you're tired, it's almost rest time...we sleep in our beds at rest time".

If she needs a morning nap, she needs it early, otherwise, she waits. It's ok if she's a little crabby until she gets used to it.

Can you move lunch and nap up a little for a couple weeks, then once she's used to the routine, you can push it back?

[Jack Sprat]

She sat down in the chair while I was making lunch. Honestly, I thought about waking her up but, didn't as it made it easier to get lunch fixed. She gets here at 7a. So an early morning nap around 8:30 I think would be perfect. Although that screaming business kills me. We eat lunch at 11:00 so I really don't want to move it to an earlier time. I could even do an 8:15 nap. We eat breakfast at 7:45. She usually eats before she gets here(and with us) and of course has a bottle with her when she arrives. She did wake up after 40 min today. I peeked in and she was laying down, but crying. I watched her for a bit and she is now back asleep. I feel horrid and really want to go in and hold her. But, I do know in the long run this is best for her.

DCM has asked me to help wean her from the bottle. At this point that is the least of my concerns. I explained to mom that my first goal was to get her to nap. Then we would work on the bottle. She gets it at nap time only so it (to me) isn't as big of a deal as the sleeping thing. I also explained again that just because it happens at daycare doesn't mean it will happen at home.

[Heidi]

She sat down in the chair while I was making lunch. Honestly, I thought about waking her up but, didn't as it made it easier to get lunch fixed. She gets here at 7a. So an early morning nap around 8:30 I think would be perfect. Although that screaming business kills me. We eat lunch at 11:00 so I really don't want to move it to an earlier time. I could even do an 8:15 nap. We eat breakfast at 7:45. She usually eats before she gets here(and with us) and of course has a bottle with her when she arrives. She did wake up after 40 min today. I peeked in and she was laying down, but crying. I watched her for a bit and she is now back asleep. I feel horrid and really want to go in and hold her. But, I do know in the long run this is best for her.

DCM has asked me to help wean her from the bottle. At this point that is the least of my concerns. I explained to mom that my first goal was to get her to nap. Then we would work on the bottle. She gets it at nap time only so it (to me) isn't as big of a deal as the sleeping thing. I also explained again that just because it happens at daycare doesn't mean it will happen at home.

That's pretty early for lunch already then, agreed. Totally understand that about letting her fall asleep then, too. It's a real challenge to get lunch on the table some days!

I'd lay her down for a short nap right after breakfast, like you said. Maybe you could drop the mid-day bottle first? She'll in theory be full of lunch. Maybe just let her have a cup of formula with lunch, then whatever she doesn't finish goes in the bottle. If she drinks it all, skip the bottle completely. Bet she won't even notice that.

[Scout]

Last summer I started an 11 mo old that also got rocked to sleep. I had no choice but, to let him cry(and he would scream) until he didn't cry anymore and just gave up. I ended up after a day or 2 putting 2 toys in his pnp and for his morning nap would leave him in there with the toys until he got the hang of it. It only took about a week. He is such a great sleeper now! I put him in there, kiss his cheek, put music and a fan on and say "night buddy, see you in a bit" and walk out. I think she just has to get used to the fact that you are not going in.

A few weeks ago I started a 15 mo and she is in the same room with the above little boy. She would talk and talk for an hour and a half for the first week or so and then only sleep 45 min-1 hr. Now, I have an empty pnp between them and I hang a blanket over the side of the empty one so she can not see him. She is now a pretty good napper too! Only talks for about 5 min and then gets quiet and goes to sleep for 2 hours or longer! Don't give in!!

[misslori50]

She's an 11 month old, not 2. I have had it take up to 3 or 4 weeks for that age. She's just adjusting. I think that she's not going to get it for a little bit. She's probably just scared. This is a whole new place and whole new people for her. Make sure her needs are met and have minimal contact with her when she's supposed to be sleeping. When you go in, just give her a pat and leave.

I agree. Wouldn't a 11 month old still be taking 2 naps a day.

[Jack Sprat]

Most that I have known took two naps till 18 months. I don't think she has ever napped well at home. So the whole nap transition is going to be hard.

When she arrives with her bottle in hand I have been taking it and putting it away. She doesn't complain. So its milk at breakfast and lunch from sippy, milk at nap from bottle and water at snack if she is here for snack. Today she doesn't arrive till 11. So I'm not sure what her morning will be like. I know she sleeps till at least 8 and will sometimes take a 45 minute morning nap at home.

I plan on keeping same routine and nap time for her today as on her early arrival days.