Need Help Before I Cave

[Josiegirl]

It's the 2nd day of an 11 month old and she refuses to nap. They admitted she's always been rocked to sleep. Unfortunately she fell asleep in my arms yesterday at 11 and slept 45 minutes. That was it for the day. Today she tried to and I wouldn't let her. I put her down in the pac n play awake and she cried for 30 minutes as I went in and tried to quiet her off and on. I finally got her up and made her last until after lunch(she did surprisingly good!). Then I put her down after noon with the other kids. She has yet to fall asleep. I go in about every 10 minutes or so, try to quiet her but all she does it cry, reach up, and want me to take her out.
Tell me not to cave. She's exhausted, poor thing, but has no clue how to fall asleep.
How long does this take?

[Play Care]

It's the 2nd day of an 11 month old and she refuses to nap. They admitted she's always been rocked to sleep. Unfortunately she fell asleep in my arms yesterday at 11 and slept 45 minutes. That was it for the day. Today she tried to and I wouldn't let her. I put her down in the pac n play awake and she cried for 30 minutes as I went in and tried to quiet her off and on. I finally got her up and made her last until after lunch(she did surprisingly good!). Then I put her down after noon with the other kids. She has yet to fall asleep. I go in about every 10 minutes or so, try to quiet her but all she does it cry, reach up, and want me to take her out.
Tell me not to cave. She's exhausted, poor thing, but has no clue how to fall asleep.
How long does this take?

At the risk of being flamed, I would NOT go back in. A firm "SHHH, friends are sleeping!" would be my extent with a 2 yo. Then I would monitor the situation from the outside door (more to make sure she didn't escape) and get her when quiet time is over. I would also NOT put up with it for more than a week, tops. Mom and Dad created this, they can find a way to work it out.

[Cat Herder]

The more you cave, the longer it takes. :hug:

[Heidi]

DONT CAVE!


UNLESS...you want to be playing this little game for the next 2 years, assuming you don't term her by then.


again....



DONT CAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think you need to go in one last time, and say "It is nap time. I will come back when nap is over".

Then, when nap is over (other kids are getting up), go in, bright and sunny, and say "oh, nap is over...time to play". If she sleeps 10 minutes or 3 hours, you do the same thing. Start making some noise before you go in, so she knows you're coming. It has to be different than the quiet before and during nap. I sing "It's time to wake up, it's time to wake up, it's time to wake up now...it's time to wake up" loudly, to the tune of Happy Birthday. That means...naps over. Start singing it down the hall. Do it EVERY TIME. She'll learn to wait for it.
EVENTUALLY...

At 11 months, I'd give her a 45 minute nap in the am, then down with the others. She sleeps, she doesn't sleep, doesn't matter. Nap time is nap time. YOU decide...

[coolconfidentme]

It's the 2nd day of an 11 month old and she refuses to nap. They admitted she's always been rocked to sleep. Unfortunately she fell asleep in my arms yesterday at 11 and slept 45 minutes. That was it for the day. Today she tried to and I wouldn't let her. I put her down in the pac n play awake and she cried for 30 minutes as I went in and tried to quiet her off and on. I finally got her up and made her last until after lunch(she did surprisingly good!). Then I put her down after noon with the other kids. She has yet to fall asleep. I go in about every 10 minutes or so, try to quiet her but all she does it cry, reach up, and want me to take her out.
Tell me not to cave. She's exhausted, poor thing, but has no clue how to fall asleep.
How long does this take?

I'm really not trying to be mean, but she has trained you to come in when she cries. You need to take the control back. Do NOT go in about every 10 minutes or so. There is a difference between a hurt cry & a pick me up cry. If you don't know which cry it is, make a small noise outside of the room. If she pauses to hear it, she isn't hurt & just wants to be picked up. DON'T DO IT!!

[lovemykidstoo]

At the risk of being flamed, I would NOT go back in. A firm "SHHH, friends are sleeping!" would be my extent with a 2 yo. Then I would monitor the situation from the outside door (more to make sure she didn't escape) and get her when quiet time is over. I would also NOT put up with it for more than a week, tops. Mom and Dad created this, they can find a way to work it out.

She's an 11 month old, not 2. I have had it take up to 3 or 4 weeks for that age. She's just adjusting. I think that she's not going to get it for a little bit. She's probably just scared. This is a whole new place and whole new people for her. Make sure her needs are met and have minimal contact with her when she's supposed to be sleeping. When you go in, just give her a pat and leave.

[MyAngels]

DONT CAVE!


UNLESS...you want to be playing this little game for the next 2 years, assuming you don't term her by then.


again....



DONT CAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think you need to go in one last time, and say "It is nap time. I will come back when nap is over".

Then, when nap is over (other kids are getting up), go in, bright and sunny, and say "oh, nap is over...time to play". If she sleeps 10 minutes or 3 hours, you do the same thing. Start making some noise before you go in, so she knows you're coming. It has to be different than the quiet before and during nap. I sing "It's time to wake up, it's time to wake up, it's time to wake up now...it's time to wake up" loudly, to the tune of Happy Birthday. That means...naps over. Start singing it down the hall. Do it EVERY TIME. She'll learn to wait for it.
EVENTUALLY...

At 11 months, I'd give her a 45 minute nap in the am, then down with the others. She sleeps, she doesn't sleep, doesn't matter. Nap time is nap time. YOU decide...

I've had it take anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks. Hang in there.

[cara041083]

I agree. Don't go back in. It will be rough the first day and then tomorrow will be a lil better and then a lil better. After a few days she will get used to nap time at such and such time and it won't be an issue any longer

[Josiegirl]

It's now been 1 1/2 hours and she's still crying. Ugh. Problem is she's never been allowed and shown how to fall asleep. I can't expect her to do it all in one nap time. Poor thing. They did her a great dis-service by always rocking her to sleep if they expected her to enter daycare. Now they're expecting me to fix it.
On the report I sent home yesterday I told her I was giving them a 2 week trial period which is standard procedure.

So now...quiet time will be over in another half hour, do I just let her up and keep her up? She'll be hungry and want a bottle and I can 99.99% guarantee she'll fall asleep as she drinks it.

It's been so long since I had a difficult transition with little ones.

[renodeb]

I agree, I would not go back in. I'm not sure I understand. Is this the child's second day with? Usually when a parent has admitted that the child is rocked at home I rock them for a little, then each day I rock for a little less time then I lay them down and walk out. Usually by the end of the first week the are pretty weaned off of the rocking thing. Maybe give it a week of just laying her down and don't cave!
Deb

[cara041083]

It's now been 1 1/2 hours and she's still crying. Ugh. Problem is she's never been allowed and shown how to fall asleep. I can't expect her to do it all in one nap time. Poor thing. They did her a great dis-service by always rocking her to sleep if they expected her to enter daycare. Now they're expecting me to fix it.
On the report I sent home yesterday I told her I was giving them a 2 week trial period which is standard procedure.

So now...quiet time will be over in another half hour, do I just let her up and keep her up? She'll be hungry and want a bottle and I can 99.99% guarantee she'll fall asleep as she drinks it.

It's been so long since I had a difficult transition with little ones.

I would keep her in there for the rest of quite time and then if she falls asleep, let her sleep. But then I would let the parents know that she needs to be able to go to sleep on her own in a play pin and that you cannot rock her to sleep. It will take help from the parents if its gona work. But I would repeat this everyday and one day it will all fall into place. :hug:.

[Heidi]

It's now been 1 1/2 hours and she's still crying. Ugh. Problem is she's never been allowed and shown how to fall asleep. I can't expect her to do it all in one nap time. Poor thing. They did her a great dis-service by always rocking her to sleep if they expected her to enter daycare. Now they're expecting me to fix it.
On the report I sent home yesterday I told her I was giving them a 2 week trial period which is standard procedure.

So now...quiet time will be over in another half hour, do I just let her up and keep her up? She'll be hungry and want a bottle and I can 99.99% guarantee she'll fall asleep as she drinks it.

It's been so long since I had a difficult transition with little ones.

She's been crying all that time. At this point, wait until everyone else is up as I suggested above. She needs to learn the connection between the routine.

Does anyone else take a morning nap?

If not, I'd skip it. She's awfully young for one nap, but I couldn't go through all that drama 2x a day, and it's obviously hard on her.

Let her see everyone else getting ready for nap, take her around to wave night night to all the other kids, and then put her in her bed. Lay her down, tuck her in, and say "Night night. I will come get you when nap is over". Then walk out and stay out until you've determined nap is over. Now, get her up FIRST, and let her see you get the other kids up. Like I said, I think a song helps. Or, set a clock radio in the room she's in for wake-up time, and then she'll learn you open the door when the clock-radio comes on, not before.

[Josiegirl]

Well now wait a minute, I thought(for the ones that say don't go in until naptime is over) we were supposed to go in, talk quietly to them, reassure them, something like every 5-10 minutes, making that time between, a little longer. Am I not remembering that right?

I've got a 9 yo SA today that is like a lil mama and she's begging me to let her go cuddle with her. So that makes me feel even guiltier.
I can do this. I can do this. Just wish the parents had done it before.

[daycarediva]

I agree, I would not go back in. I'm not sure I understand. Is this the child's second day with? Usually when a parent has admitted that the child is rocked at home I rock them for a little, then each day I rock for a little less time then I lay them down and walk out. Usually by the end of the first week the are pretty weaned off of the rocking thing. Maybe give it a week of just laying her down and don't cave!
Deb

This is what I would try. Rock for 5 minutes day 1, then 2 minutes day 2 & 3, a minute or less day 4 and nothing day 5+.

I would also shush her "Shhh shhh friends are sleeping. It's nap time." and leave. No checks (if she can see/hear you). No patting. No eye contact if you can manage it.

Yes, her parents did do her a huge disservice. She will probably adjust and be fine as long as you stick to it. I would realllly encourage her parents to get on board. An 11mo fast becomes an 18mo and a 2+ year old who is still rocked to sleep. I have a dck who is still rocked to sleep at home, and they are transitioning to big girl bed, now their solution is to lay next to her and pat. She's 2! Goodness!

[daycarediva]

I do checks on YOUNG infants learning to self soothe, an 11mo KNOWS if she screams you will come check/get her. I think rechecking will just amp up her cries at this point.