Daycare Without Cry-It-Out

[providerandmomof4]

As someone certifying to be a sleep coach, sleep training is so important. I recommend the sleep lady method. It really is a learned skill. It needs to be taught. I couldn't imagine having to constantly rock a baby. If babies were all I cared for that would be one thing. However, I have mixed ages in our current group.

I recommend reading the sleep lady book, (kim west)- "Good Night Sleep Tight: The Sleep Lady's Guide to Helping Your Child go to Sleep, and Wake Up Happy".

In it it discusses naps. I could not live without this book over the years!!

I cannot tell you how much I love this forum. I have been struggling with my dgd at naps and watching her mom struggle with her at bedtime. This child was a maniac because she was never getting an adequate amount of sleep. She is 13 mths and stubborn so we were all just giving in to her every whim...rocking, walking, bottles, it goes on. This was not working for me during dc when I had several other kiddos to watch, I couldn't spend an hour trying to get her to sleep. I was miserable-she was cranky and miserable.

I bought this book yesterday, and it is already working!!!!!happyfacehappyfacehappyface
Letting her cry it out was only making her furious, and when she finally did fall asleep, it was a short nap (30mins) and then she woke up hysterical. Today she woke early (5:45) and was down for her morn nap at 8:30 with minimal fussing and no bottle. I'll have to work on the morning nap being a little later, but...first things first, right?::

I can't thank you enough for sharing this book....AWESOME! I'll let you know how my dgd does when she realizes this is how it's going to work at every sleep time. .

[Blackcat31]

I do it just like Heidi as well.

I would never just plop a child into a PNP and leave them to fend for themselves. Just like any skill a child learns, being able to self-soothe or put yourself to sleep is a learned skill.

Like Cheer said, I think it works a lot better for child care providers because we base our days around consistency and routine whereas at home a child's family schedule may not be a strict or consistent and I think that plays a HUGE roll in sleep confusion for kids.

The activity leading up to sleep is just as important as sleeping and I think a lot of parents/providers over look that.

Another fantastic book about sleep and one that addresses the issue of "But he is so full of energy right before bed so I know he isn't tired...maybe he should start giving up his daytime naps even though he is only 2" words we often hear from parents is:

"Sleepless in America. Is your child misbehaving or missing sleep" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka FANTASTIC book and worth the read!!

http://www.amazon.com/Sleepless-America-Child-Misbehaving-Missing/dp/006073602X

[Play Care]

I do it just like Heidi as well.

I would never just plop a child into a PNP and leave them to fend for themselves. Just like any skill a child learns, being able to self-soothe or put yourself to sleep is a learned skill.

Like Cheer said, I think it works a lot better for child care providers because we base our days around consistency and routine whereas at home a child's family schedule may not be a strict or consistent and I think that plays a HUGE roll in sleep confusion for kids.

The activity leading up to sleep is just as important as sleeping and I think a lot of parents/providers over look that.

Another fantastic book about sleep and one that addresses the issue of "But he is so full of energy right before bed so I know he isn't tired...maybe he should start giving up his daytime naps even though he is only 2" words we often hear from parents is:

"Sleepless in America. Is your child misbehaving or missing sleep" by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka FANTASTIC book and worth the read!!

http://www.amazon.com/Sleepless-Amer.../dp/006073602X

[LaLa1923]

I cannot tell you how much I love this forum. I have been struggling with my dgd at naps and watching her mom struggle with her at bedtime. This child was a maniac because she was never getting an adequate amount of sleep. She is 13 mths and stubborn so we were all just giving in to her every whim...rocking, walking, bottles, it goes on. This was not working for me during dc when I had several other kiddos to watch, I couldn't spend an hour trying to get her to sleep. I was miserable-she was cranky and miserable.

I bought this book yesterday, and it is already working!!!!!happyfacehappyfacehappyface
Letting her cry it out was only making her furious, and when she finally did fall asleep, it was a short nap (30mins) and then she woke up hysterical. Today she woke early (5:45) and was down for her morn nap at 8:30 with minimal fussing and no bottle. I'll have to work on the morning nap being a little later, but...first things first, right?::

I can't thank you enough for sharing this book....AWESOME! I'll let you know how my dgd does when she realizes this is how it's going to work at every sleep time. .

You are very welcome! ! I've used this book a lot over the years! I hope it serves you well!
happyface

[LeslieG]

Instead of CIO (b/c it just didn't work for this particular child who is 11 months), if he wakes up still tired (I can usually tell) I go in and lay him back down in his crib and say "it's night night time". I usually have to stand in the room for 5-10 minutes until he falls back asleep, otherwise he will see that I am gone and stand up crying again.

Some days are better than others, but he is progressively getting better with naps!

[tjones34]

I have not had any nap time issues in my daycare. I put the kids down and read them a story after it is done I walk out quietly say goodnight and after about 15 minutes they are usually sleep. Including my 3 year old.

[countrymom]

I've been finding that when I tell the kids "good night" that it works, also, I give them a warning, like in 10 min. I tell them we are going to clean up because its going to be nap time, then in 5 min, I tell them we are going to go to the bathroom because its going to be time for a nap, then I tell them its nap time. I find sometimes when I give them a warning they are good too.

[Leigh]

Hi everyone,

I'm not here to start a debate for or against cry-it-out. We all have our own style, and in a group care setting, I can certainly see why CIO would be used. What I do want to know is if any providers do nap time WITHOUT doing cry-it-out. How do you make it work? I'd love to hear some examples.

Thanks in advance!

I do not do "cry-it-out". I see it as inhumane treatment. Babies cry when they have a need that hasn't been met. Meet the need, and the baby doesn't cry. I couldn't live with myself if I just laid an infant down and walked away. How do I make it work? I just pick the baby up and carry him/her with me until I have the time to meet his/her need. A baby carrier is a big help.

[preschoolteacher]

Leigh, I don't do cry-it-out either, and I'm not interested in starting. What I find confusing is how to get several children to nap at the same time and meet all their needs. One baby would be no problem, but I'll likely have three children under 2, and a couple 2 year olds on top of that!

[Heidi]

I do not do "cry-it-out". I see it as inhumane treatment. Babies cry when they have a need that hasn't been met. Meet the need, and the baby doesn't cry. I couldn't live with myself if I just laid an infant down and walked away. How do I make it work? I just pick the baby up and carry him/her with me until I have the time to meet his/her need. A baby carrier is a big help.

I REALLY wish people would stop suggesting that everyone is PRO CIO if they are not willing to carry babies around every moment. There is an enormous difference between carrying constantly and just laying a baby in bed and walking away, leaving them to cry for hours on end. I don't think there is a single person here that would do that.

Sorry...don't mean to be snarky! It's just that this conversation comes up once a week or so, and someone always suggests carrying. I have 3 infants and am 48 years old. Even at 28 I couldn't carry all 3 at once.

Yes, a baby cries because they have a need. But that need is not necessarily to be carried around like a sack of potatoes. That need might be hunger, discomfort, overstimulation, being tired, or just plain needing to cry. We all need to cry now and then; I sure do!

When I cry, the last thing I want is someone telling me to stop. What I want is someone telling me that they love me, they will support me, and that they are here to help me.

I don't "do" CIO. But within 2 weeks of being in my program, I could bet you big money that all my kiddos go to sleep happily, with rarely a fuss. They see their beds as comfortable, happy places to cuddle and sleep. Same as me at the end of a long day...

[Heidi]

Leigh, I don't do cry-it-out either, and I'm not interested in starting. What I find confusing is how to get several children to nap at the same time and meet all their needs. One baby would be no problem, but I'll likely have three children under 2, and a couple 2 year olds on top of that!

I'm in the same situation. Love every day of it, but it sure is a challenge, eh?

I found this blog with some great insights. Maybe she's written something you can relate to.

http://scienceofmom.com/2012/02/23/the-importance-of-self-soothing-to-infant-sleep/

[Heidi]

So...I have to ask a question of those folks who are super anti-CIO.

How many minutes would you find it acceptable for an infant to cry. Lets say, a 6 mo, to be specific.

I'm not being argumentative or snarky at all.

Just trying to find out what people are comfortable with. If a baby cries for 2 minutes, is that too long? 5, 10, 15? It doesn't matter the reason; they are hungry, tired, whatever. Your busy changing a diaper, feeding someone else, going potty, etc.

I'm thinking that even attachment or no-cry parenting acknowledges that a baby must cry momentarily at the least? Or is the theory that one would be so in-tuned with the baby that you anticipate it's every need?

[MyAngels]

I REALLY wish people would stop suggesting that everyone is PRO CIO if they are not willing to carry babies around every moment. There is an enormous difference between carrying constantly and just laying a baby in bed and walking away, leaving them to cry for hours on end. I don't think there is a single person here that would do that.

Sorry...don't mean to be snarky! It's just that this conversation comes up once a week or so, and someone always suggests carrying. I have 3 infants and am 48 years old. Even at 28 I couldn't carry all 3 at once.

Yes, a baby cries because they have a need. But that need is not necessarily to be carried around like a sack of potatoes. That need might be hunger, discomfort, overstimulation, being tired, or just plain needing to cry. We all need to cry now and then; I sure do!

When I cry, the last thing I want is someone telling me to stop. What I want is someone telling me that they love me, they will support me, and that they are here to help me.

I don't "do" CIO. But within 2 weeks of being in my program, I could bet you big money that all my kiddos go to sleep happily, with rarely a fuss. They see their beds as comfortable, happy places to cuddle and sleep. Same as me at the end of a long day...

Well said.

[Cradle2crayons]

While I don't do "CIO " officially, I absolutely do NOT agree with carrying a baby or child around all the time. My daughter went through aghast where the ONLY way she would go to sleep was to let her fuss a few minutes. She wouldn't sleep held,in anything,rocked, patted, nothing. I simply fed, changed,put on calm music just as I always had, and put her in the bed. Sometimes she would take 5 minutes, sometimes 10 or 15 minutes. And a few times more than that.

I agree with the pp sometimes babies needs are met and they simply are over tired etc and just need to cry. My experience carrying a baby around left to other habits that were undesirable. I think at some point it makes the come to the point that the ONLY need that the baby wanted met was to be held all the time ... Babies are smart. My daughter did that a lot because she was sick so much and was held a lot at first. Yanno one of those kids who cry like they are dying and you pick them up and immediately they are smiling. Put them back down, they cry again.

[Blackcat31]

I REALLY wish people would stop suggesting that everyone is PRO CIO if they are not willing to carry babies around every moment. There is an enormous difference between carrying constantly and just laying a baby in bed and walking away, leaving them to cry for hours on end. I don't think there is a single person here that would do that.

Sorry...don't mean to be snarky! It's just that this conversation comes up once a week or so, and someone always suggests carrying. I have 3 infants and am 48 years old. Even at 28 I couldn't carry all 3 at once.

Yes, a baby cries because they have a need. But that need is not necessarily to be carried around like a sack of potatoes. That need might be hunger, discomfort, overstimulation, being tired, or just plain needing to cry. We all need to cry now and then; I sure do!

When I cry, the last thing I want is someone telling me to stop. What I want is someone telling me that they love me, they will support me, and that they are here to help me.

I don't "do" CIO. But within 2 weeks of being in my program, I could bet you big money that all my kiddos go to sleep happily, with rarely a fuss. They see their beds as comfortable, happy places to cuddle and sleep. Same as me at the end of a long day...

Rock on!

Nicely said!