Daycare Without Cry-It-Out

[preschoolteacher]

Hi everyone,

I'm not here to start a debate for or against cry-it-out. We all have our own style, and in a group care setting, I can certainly see why CIO would be used. What I do want to know is if any providers do nap time WITHOUT doing cry-it-out. How do you make it work? I'd love to hear some examples.

Thanks in advance!

[Heidi]

There have been numerous debates here about CIO. I personally use a modified method of "sleep training", which should not be confused with CIO, but often is.

This means, baby is put to bed awake and prepared (talked to softly, a song, a little rocking). Then, I usually rub their tummy after they're snuggled in, and talk to them softly for a minute. Pacifier or thumb-either way is ok, if that helps them.

Then I walk out quiety, saying "nighty night"

If they fuss, I wait 3 or 4 minutes, then go back and rub, whisper, replace pacifier.

If they fuss, I wait a little longer, repeat...

Keep doing until baby sleeps.

When they wake, I always, always go in and talk to them before I get them up. "Hi...dck...you are awake! Are you ready to get up?" I never pick them up crying, but soothe them with my voice and gentle rubbing first. Once they've calmed, I pick them up.

For over 20 some years of working with young children, this has worked for me. With the exception of a few part-timers, I have had many happy sleepers in my home.

[Leanna]

I don't do cry-it-out. I personally do not believe that young infants have the ability to self-sooth enough to be expected to soothe themselves to sleep. I also do not think that it is appropriate for a child care provider to do cry-it-out because they are not the baby's main caregiver. When I have young infants they usually sleep for part of naptime and then cuddle & play with me while the toddlers sleep. I don't expect young infants to sleep as long as the older kids because they take morning naps too.

[Meeko]

I do it exactly like Heidi. Nap time is never an issue. The kids I have now lie and down and go to sleep without so much as a peep.

New kids can sometimes take a while, but in 28 years I have never had one that didn't settle into routine.

[WoodOx]

I dont do CIO at nap time. they fall asleep uneasy and restless when they cry to sleep.
if a baby needs comforting i will hold them for a little while. as they get older they learn to sleep with out help.

[blandino]

I do it exactly like Heidi. When we first start with a new child they fuss, but now out kids go right down. I think having a routine with k
Lots of external cues is very beneficial. We nap at almost the same time very day, and nap always comes in the same order. Everyone gets changed, lights off, shades drawn, music goes on, and into bed they go.

[AmyKidsCo]

I don't CIO - I rock the baby to sleep or wear them in a carrier, then put them down. Right now I'm a little frustrated because my 18m grandson is with me for a few weeks and he's still used to being rocked to sleep, but I do rock him instead of CIO.

[preschoolteacher]

Great tips. Thanks! I do not do CIO with my own son and do not want to do it with daycare kids either. I plan to just have 1 baby, so I can attend to that baby however he/she needs, but what I'm concerned about is 1-2 year old kids who don't go to sleep on their own in addition to the baby.

Amy, if your grandson was staying with you for more than a few weeks, what would you do to help him nap on his own?

[LittleD]

See, at 2, I think they are too big to be rocked to sleep. (at least my 2yr olds are) I'd break my back trying to rock them. Most of my kids have started here at approx 7-8mths, and I'd do the sleep training.

For older ones, I start with some sleep training, but allow them to CIO as well. Once they have been here a few weeks (FT) and all else seems to be well adjusted, I may go in twice to lay them down, cover them back up and whisper "Ït's rest time. Nigh Night"" Then they fuss them selves to sleep. Seems to work for me.

[LaLa1923]

As someone certifying to be a sleep coach, sleep training is so important. I recommend the sleep lady method. It really is a learned skill. It needs to be taught. I couldn't imagine having to constantly rock a baby. If babies were all I cared for that would be one thing. However, I have mixed ages in our current group.

I recommend reading the sleep lady book, (kim west)- "Good Night Sleep Tight: The Sleep Lady's Guide to Helping Your Child go to Sleep, and Wake Up Happy".

In it it discusses naps. I could not live without this book over the years!!

[cheerfuldom]

I think a big part of why kids normally do a lot better at daycare is because we providers generally run on a routine. The kids know what to expect and see everyone else going to nap and that all results in less of a fight. right now I have 7 kids here and routine causes five of the kids go to sleep with no problem whatsoever. One is special needs and her naps are unpredictable....thats a whole different scenario. One of them (almost 2) does fuss to sleep. I have tried rocking and also tried going in to comfort and what not. Its not working. If I leave her to fuss/cry for a few minutes, she does go down on her own. I dont just dump her in there and leave her to cry for hours. I think it is important for providers to prep kids for naps. Whatever way you do it, make sure it is consistent. Sometimes you have to change things up a bit for certain kids who might need some extra attention but I really do think that routine solves a huge part of the issues that parents see at home. Also, outdoor time in the morning plus a cool down period before bed (reading books or soft music) helps a lot.

Now for kids under 18 months....that can be tougher. Especially with infants and especially with parents that do something totally different than the provider. If they get their kid used to car drives each night to go to bed, there is no way that a provider than replicate that and then that leaves the provider and the child with a problem that is only seen at daycare.

I think it is a good idea to only take one or two at the very most, infants under 12 months at a time. Our rule for a most licensed home daycares in my area is no more than 2 under 2 years old and I think that is a good rule in general. Another suggestion is to adjust only one new kid at a time. If you can get some good nap habits established with one before adding the next, that will be easier on you.

Just make sure to keep your expectations reasonable. I think it is wonderful for providers to have a plan in place to avoid hard core CIO. I also think it is important to know that even with that goal in mind, kids will still cry. that is just a normal part of being a kid and sometimes there is nothing we can do. your best bet is to have a good routine in place and to find like minded parents. there is only so much we can do to overcome what the parents are doing at home, if it happens to be far away from the daycare policies.

[AmyKidsCo]

Amy, if your grandson was staying with you for more than a few weeks, what would you do to help him nap on his own?

Honestly, I think I'd still have to rock him to sleep for quite a while. I'm not sure I could overcome his habits of being swaddled (they still swaddle him), rocked to sleep, and sleeping on/with Mom. She's said that "they outgrow the cuddly stage so quickly I don't mind spoiling him now."

I do put him in bed awake and wait 20-30 min to see if he'll sleep on his own, but he's old enough to keep himself awake for a LONG time, even when he's really tired. And he has a really high-pitched scream, like fingernails on a chalkboard - I think if I tried CIO I'd give in before he did.

[countrymom]

I think it all depends on the situation. i really don't recommend the rocking, I've been down this road with my own. But I was home and could do it, but if I was bringing my child to daycare i would try and break them of this habit.

also routine is a big thing. I also think thats why kids do so much better here. They know what to expect when its bed time, and its at the same time every day. i hate hearing how on the weekends little suzie went to nap at 2pm and didn't wake up till dinner and then partied all night cause they weren't tired.

I have the dr ferber sleep book and its good too. It also talks about sleep training (easy read book) and basically he also recommends going in after a few minutes. It does work. But remember, that every child is different, what works for one doesn't always work for another.

[Lavender]

I'm different than most on here as I'm a lead teacher in a child care center. My kids are the mobile infants and I do not do cio in any way. To me a child at this age needs to have their perceived needs met, and they don't have the ability to discern what is a true need or what isn't. To them it just all feels like needs. Most of my kids are able to nap around the same time in the afternoon. As I'm getting everything ready (checking diapers, picking up toys) I slowly start making it darker and I turn on my nap music. I start talking in a soothing manner. I lay each child down in the way I know they like. I see who is having the hardest time settling and start with them first. Some like their backs rubbed, some like their butts gently pat, some just like a hand stroking the side of their face. I do everything I can to encourage them to go to sleep on their own, but I help anyone who needs it too. It is important to me that naptime feels like a happy and safe time for them. My babies don't cry at all and sometimes they all go to sleep on their own.

[Cradle2crayons]

I used a modified form of CIO with my daughter who is 10 now when she was little, my son simply went down in a melted heap when nap time came ... My youngest now is 15 months and she still needs two naps a day... If she's here long enough she gets both naps here.... But she gets up at her house at 530 and goes down for a nap here at 930 am and sleeps until 1145 and then eats lunch with everyone... Then all the older kids go down for a nap after lunch at 1245 or so...my son goes to sleep in his room and the others go to sleep in the nap room on their mats... Lights out, music on, out like a light, end of story. They wake up at 300 pm ready for their snack.