Daughter Says That Day Care Provider HITS Her..

[daycare]

I like all of the advice given. If this were me, this is what I would do.

DCP yesterday my daughter was pretending to be like you and was spanking herself on the butt and thighs. Is this a game you play or why are both of the kids doing this??

[jokalima]

Well... I hope this does not sound to bad or gets misinterpreted. S sometimes I catch myself doing something that makes me think that if kids tell their parents they will think I am hitting them, but I am not. Usually when they go potty and I've helped them pull up pants or I am talking to them closely and I tell them to leave my side or go on and play I pad t them on their behinds, is not hitting or spanking because is not hard, is like the baseball players do? IDK how to explain it but is not in any way hurting them, that is a bad habit and I don't realize I am doing it after I do it and then I think I will eventually get in to trouble for it. IDK what happen with this little girl but my point is that I would not go blind thinking that my child is being abused until I talk to provider and figure out what is going on.

[Play Care]

Well... I hope this does not sound to bad or gets misinterpreted. S sometimes I catch myself doing something that makes me think that if kids tell their parents they will think I am hitting them, but I am not. Usually when they go potty and I've helped them pull up pants or I am talking to them closely and I tell them to leave my side or go on and play I pad t them on their behinds, is not hitting or spanking because is not hard, is like the baseball players do? IDK how to explain it but is not in any way hurting them, that is a bad habit and I don't realize I am doing it after I do it and then I think I will eventually get in to trouble for it. IDK what happen with this little girl but my point is that I would not go blind thinking that my child is being abused until I talk to provider and figure out what is going on.

I understand what you are saying. I have this little guy in my care that you can't help but want to cuddle with - he just has that roly poly kind of shape now. When I finish changing his diaper I put him down and "pat" his bottom and say "go go go to the sink!" Mom knows this because she does it too:: One day his older brother saw me and said "you hit brother?" I explained I was not hitting but giving nice pats and showed him on his arm. I also told him "I used to do it when you were little too!" But I told mom at pick up so we were all on the same page as to what happened.

That said, I did work at a dc in college where an older employee was swatting the kids. When I said something to the supervisor I was told that there was no way it had happened because everyone LOVED Ms. Sue and she would NEVER. Years later Ms. Sue was arrested for "popping" a kid Point is I would be asking the provider to tell me what happened. And then go with my gut.

[jokalima]

Feel stupid but what is "poppin" a child?:confused:

[daycare]

I want to know too???

[youretooloud]

Feel stupid but what is "poppin" a child?:confused:

I think it's the same as smacking, or bopping.

[daycare]

OMG thank you for clearing that up. I looked up the sentence she used and it said to shot somone with a gun........................oh dear do I need to learn more slang.....

[Play Care]

Sorry, "popping" is slang for hitting. We actually had to sit through a class where the instructor (also a Licensor) went through all the slang- hit, pop, smack, bop, swat, spank, etc etc. etc. for spanking because she had gone on visits where the providers would "swat" a kid and be shocked, SHOCKED that it wasn't allowed - in their mind it wasn't hitting/spanking so it was okay

I actually gained two kids this year because their old provider would do similar things. Once when the older boy bit another child, she had the child bite him back to show him that it hurt. Another time the one child stepped on another kid and she stepped on his hand to show him why not to do that... Not to scare the OP, but it is something I would be checking into ASAP.

[daycare]

in all of my years of working with kids both teaching and coaching I have been taught the grandma method.... YOu only touch a child like you would touch your grandmother...kids over 3.5 don't get picked up here..


I was also taught that we only touch them lightly on their should when we did to get their attention or to guide them....

I would be clearing this up right this second. I don't mean to sound mean but what are you thinking?

NOOOOO way in this world would I be able to leave my kids with anyone when my kids just said that someone there hit them... I would just die......

[fairymama]

I was today with my husband at the daycare for picking up, then husband asked Mrs xx about kids and how are they doing with her?and asked about what happened in bathroom yesterday.. At first she didn't remember, so I said ( daughter's name) was messy yesterday in bathroom? Then Mrs xx said yeah she was playing with soap and throw it in the trash, she took a PAT yesterday.

I felt the lady honest and saying the truth, she didn't appear confused or trying to cover what happened.

So now what do you think ladies?

[Crystal]

Ha! She took a PAT? Ummmm......no. Apparently, since she said it like that, she thinks it is okay to PAT your child on the bottom. I would have been PISSED to say the least and would have immediatley pulled my child from care, without payment and tell her to take me to court. I would then be calling licensing and reporting it.

If it were me, she may also have recieved a pat of her own and would have been picking herself up off of the floor.

Your daughter is clearly upset over this, so I assure it was more than a PAT.

[daycare]

Ha! She took a PAT? Ummmm......no. Apparently, since she said it like that, she thinks it is okay to PAT your child on the bottom. I would have been PISSED to say the least and would have immediatley pulled my child from care, without payment and tell her to take me to court. I would then be calling licensing and reporting it.

If it were me, she may also have recieved a pat of her own and would have been picking herself up off of the floor.

Your daughter is clearly upset over this, so I assure it was more than a PAT.

this.....exactly what crystal said.


I would NEVER send my kid back there every again.....it is not legal in my state to ever hit a kid nor would I ever want to. I do know that in some states it's legal. Did your provider tell you that this was her form of discipline?

Ugh.....I am so sorry for you and your family...PLEASE listen to what crystal said and report her and pull your kids now. I am sure there are other great providers in your area that woule NEVER lay a hand on your kid. poor baby....

[mom2many]

I was today with my husband at the daycare for picking up, then husband asked Mrs xx about kids and how are they doing with her?and asked about what happened in bathroom yesterday.. At first she didn't remember, so I said ( daughter's name) was messy yesterday in bathroom? Then Mrs xx said yeah she was playing with soap and throw it in the trash, she took a PAT yesterday.

I felt the lady honest and saying the truth, she didn't appear confused or trying to cover what happened.

So now what do you think ladies?

What?!?! Are you kidding???? I'd be furious! When I first read this thread earlier, I thought as many did that maybe it wasn't really true. This is horrible. No one ever has the right to lay a hand on a child. I would let her know your children will not be back and report her to licensing ASAP!

[countrymom]

didn't the provider realize that she was in the bathroom too long. At 3 I would really keep an eye on them. Why didn't she just send her to the corner. I wouldn't take her back.

[Play Care]

I was today with my husband at the daycare for picking up, then husband asked Mrs xx about kids and how are they doing with her?and asked about what happened in bathroom yesterday.. At first she didn't remember, so I said ( daughter's name) was messy yesterday in bathroom? Then Mrs xx said yeah she was playing with soap and throw it in the trash, she took a PAT yesterday.

I felt the lady honest and saying the truth, she didn't appear confused or trying to cover what happened.

So now what do you think ladies?

It sounds like this is a case where she believes that a "pat" is okay because it's not *really* hitting. (and I want to point out this is NOT what I do!!) Personally that would be it for my kids in that care.