Elf On The Shelf - SO ANGRY!!!!

[My3cents]

I was just thinking about something else ... I think I remember a while back ago where there wasa discussion about older kids ruining the spirit of christmas for the younger kids. Someone had a letter or something that the parents could read that could also be changed to explain to older kids about the "magic" of christmas. Does anyone remember? I bet that would be a great way to explain things in advance to revent this type of thing from happening.



I know I seemed really harsh with my words but I had put myself in bunnyslipper's shoes and thought how I would feel if a SA DCK ruined the magic of christmas (whether santa, elf on a shelf, angels etc) and I would be completely upset. I'm assuming that the child is in 1st grade or older and I think about my own 2nd grader DD who is 8 and even she still believes in Santa and now in Elf on a Shelf because we make is a HUGE thing here at daycare to encourage the littles to believe in magical things. Too soon do they grow up and learn that the real world is sometimes full of dissapointment and not so much magic so I try to give them just a little bit of extra time to believe. Saying such things about Elf on a Shelf to me would be the equivalent of telling another child that Santa is not real and that would really bother me.

Wiley our elf has only been here this year so my children and the DCK's have never heard of Elf on a Shelf until this Holiday season and it's wonderful to see their faces light up when Wiley is in a new location. They talk to him, talk to each other about him and what the other elf's must be doing and what it must be like to work with Santa and honestly it's wonderful.

My heart would break for my DCK's and my own kids if this were to happen to them .

I didn't think you were harsh at all, I thought you kept it very real. Kids need boundaries, strong loving, you were wrong to do that boundaries.

If I was that child, I wouldn't touch anything else with out asking first and I know I shouldn't ruin fun for other children too.

I loved your response, it was stern but gentle at the same time- Kudo'shappyface

[bunnyslippers]

The DCM just called me, letting me know that she "hopes this whole elf thing is resolved, because ____ is having a really hard time today about the elf." It would be helpful if "we just don't talk about the elf anymore" because he is having lots of issues with it today at school.

I am seriously at my rope's end. I am SO SICK of parents thinking they can dictate how my children live in their own home. This is my home, and I decide what happens here - they don't.

I wish I could just close down today, for good. So overly fed up!!!!!!

[Creek]

I know many children who have just FLIPPED when their elf's have been touched and rightly so. That is however why I skipped that part in the book for DD last Christmas time. DD is allowed to touch her elf Twinkle and return him to his place on the fireplace mantle every morning after she's found him.

I know that some people sprinkle their elf's with special Christmas dust (glitter) to give their elf back their magic so he can fly home to Santa though.

*hugs* for your poor DS, I absolutely hate when things like that happen in our own homes with DCK's. I mean we have to send them to school and worry about them getting hurt emotionally, it drives me batty thinking that sometimes with DCK they are not safe from it at home.

Btw, his mother's response about letting all the elf talk go - what a jerk!

[daycarediva]

The DCM just called me, letting me know that she "hopes this whole elf thing is resolved, because ____ is having a really hard time today about the elf." It would be helpful if "we just don't talk about the elf anymore" because he is having lots of issues with it today at school.

I am seriously at my rope's end. I am SO SICK of parents thinking they can dictate how my children live in their own home. This is my home, and I decide what happens here - they don't.

I wish I could just close down today, for good. So overly fed up!!!!!!

This would probably have made me more angry than the original issue! This dcm has no consideration for other people's feelings/beliefs and that's obviousy where her son has gotten that lovely trait. I would tell dcm flat out that it is something the chidren love doing at this time of year and you enjoy sharing it with them and that if she doesn't want dcb to hear it, she can find alternative care until after the season is over. (then again, I termed two people this month, so I'm feeling a bit fiesty!!!) ::

[My3cents]

The DCM just called me, letting me know that she "hopes this whole elf thing is resolved, because ____ is having a really hard time today about the elf." It would be helpful if "we just don't talk about the elf anymore" because he is having lots of issues with it today at school.

I am seriously at my rope's end. I am SO SICK of parents thinking they can dictate how my children live in their own home. This is my home, and I decide what happens here - they don't.

I wish I could just close down today, for good. So overly fed up!!!!!!

What did you say to her?

My response would have been ........ Elf on the shelf is a tradition we do at daycare here, so you will need to talk with your son about it and work it out. He needs to respect my things and not ruin Christmas for others-

Ugh I can only think that maybe it a religion issue? If so it is made clear at sign up that I celebrate everything that I want to celebrate. I tell my parents that I celebrate Christmas, but if I had a Jewish child in my care we would cover the candles too. Common sense of course.

[cheerfuldom]

I certainly wouldnt change a thing around for a random school ager. I would tell mom that if her son was having so much trouble at school because of it, then she should keep him out of daycare till the new year, problem solved. besides what does she even mean by trouble at school? i would imagine that this older boy actually wants one and mom said no so now he is mad and ruining things for everyone else.

[Blackcat31]

Perhaps next year BEFORE the elf comes out again, it wouldn't be a bad idea to be pro-active and send a short note home to parents explaining that you (and your kids) do the whole Elf on the Shelf thing and that you would appreicate it if they (DCP'S) talked with their children about ahead of time and that way if they do have older kids they can let them know that they are not allowed to ruin someone else's Christmas beliefs.

[Scout]

The DCM just called me, letting me know that she "hopes this whole elf thing is resolved, because ____ is having a really hard time today about the elf." It would be helpful if "we just don't talk about the elf anymore" because he is having lots of issues with it today at school.

I am seriously at my rope's end. I am SO SICK of parents thinking they can dictate how my children live in their own home. This is my home, and I decide what happens here - they don't.

I wish I could just close down today, for good. So overly fed up!!!!!!

Your house, your rules!

[Blackcat31]

Your house, your rules!

I fully understand what you gals are saying and yes, it is YOUR business so you do get to set the rules however, having a home daycare is also a situation where a little bit of give HAS to happen.

Yes, it is your home.
Yes, it is your child's home
Yes it is your choice to celebrate in whatever way you choose

But at the same time unless you discussed this kind of thing with parents upon enrollment, they don't know you are celebrating certain traditions and rituals etc.

Parents don't always view your home as a home in the same sense they see their homes. They only see it as the place little Johnny goes to be cared for and loved while they are working or where he goes to play. kwim?

When you open up your home to run a business from, you really can't just have it YOUR way. During business hours it is more than your home. It is a place of business.

We cant really complain that parents to do things, say things and act only in the best interests of their children and then turn around and do the same thing ourselves with our children just because our children happen to live in the daycare.

[bunnyslippers]

I fully understand what you gals are saying and yes, it is YOUR business so you do get to set the rules however, having a home daycare is also a situation where a little bit of give HAS to happen.

Yes, it is your home.
Yes, it is your child's home
Yes it is your choice to celebrate in whatever way you choose

But at the same time unless you discussed this kind of thing with parents upon enrollment, they don't know you are celebrating certain traditions and rituals etc.

Parents don't always view your home as a home in the same sense they see their homes. They only see it as the place little Johnny goes to be cared for and loved while they are working or where he goes to play. kwim?

When you open up your home to run a business from, you really can't just have it YOUR way. During business hours it is more than your home. It is a place of business.

We cant really complain that parents to do things, say things and act only in the best interests of their children and then turn around and do the same thing ourselves with our children just because our children happen to live in the daycare.

BC, I totally agree with you! The Elf is not used in my child care. It is in my home, not my child care space. I don't even discuss it with the dcks. This was just a random, quick interaction between the two little boys. This is also a family that does celebrate Christmas and all the hullabaloo that goes along with it.

I definitely will send a letter home next year (although I think I may be closed down by then). Thanks for the advice!

[Country Kids]

I fully understand what you gals are saying and yes, it is YOUR business so you do get to set the rules however, having a home daycare is also a situation where a little bit of give HAS to happen.

Yes, it is your home.
Yes, it is your child's home
Yes it is your choice to celebrate in whatever way you choose

But at the same time unless you discussed this kind of thing with parents upon enrollment, they don't know you are celebrating certain traditions and rituals etc.

Parents don't always view your home as a home in the same sense they see their homes. They only see it as the place little Johnny goes to be cared for and loved while they are working or where he goes to play. kwim?

When you open up your home to run a business from, you really can't just have it YOUR way. During business hours it is more than your home. It is a place of business.

We cant really complain that parents to do things, say things and act only in the best interests of their children and then turn around and do the same thing ourselves with our children just because our children happen to live in the daycare.

I really don't agree with this. It is a home/business and I think parents do know that its a home, some just want to see how far they can push to control what goes on in a home. When I step into a business and if I see something I don't agree with, the business isn't going to change it just for me. They would rather lose my business, have me go elsewhere and gain a new customer that likes what they offer.

My business is in my home (one reason its called a home business) and most people want that family feel. If they don't they need to be at a center.

[daycare]

I agree with BC..... I come from a much different walk than any of my DCK.

I would never ask someone or expect someone to believe in something. Adult or child.

I would be open to allowing every child to express their feelings openly. THEY are kids.

I don't understand this whole elf shelf thing, I don't even know what elf has to do with christmas, but I don't celebrate santa clause myself, my children know of him and I let them believe what they want. I don't do gifts from santa and I make the time we all have together a magial and loving experience.

I have about 4 different backgrounds within my own family. NONE of us believe the same ideas about christmas.

I have DCKs that celebreate Hanukkah, and I welcome them to share their cultures with the rest of us. I have some that are from other religions and some from different countries. I let them all believe what they want. they are welcome to share anything they want.

I think that perhaps the reaction of the adults are more damaging than that of the children.
Just this past weekend my friends 6 year old daughter told my son santa is not real...... I just responded, can you see him? does he move? does he breathe? Is he alive? well then he must be real. We left it at that and my son went on to believe that santa is real.....

I don't think its fair to expect every child to have the same beliefs and I don't think it is fair that a child cannot say what is on his mind. BOth good or bad. They do have to learn that if they choose to say bad things, there will be consequences about it.

Perhaps I am so not understanding of this whole thing, because I just don't know what it is and so its not a big deal to me......Perhaps DCK family feels the same way.....

[bunnyslippers]

I was not askitng this child to believe in the elf. He touched the elf intentionally, and he did it to be mean to my own son. It was a malicious thing to do, and he knew it when he did it.

I do not force kids to believe what we do, but I do expect mutual respect in my own home.

[Blackcat31]

BC, I totally agree with you! The Elf is not used in my child care. It is in my home, not my child care space. I don't even discuss it with the dcks. This was just a random, quick interaction between the two little boys. This is also a family that does celebrate Christmas and all the hullabaloo that goes along with it.

I definitely will send a letter home next year (although I think I may be closed down by then). Thanks for the advice!

I'm sorry I didn't mean to imply that YOU were having the kids celebrate in the way you do, I just meant that because we have so many different cultures and beliefs now it is important to be proactive about this kind of thing so hopefully this kind of thing doesn't happen.

I also wasn't understanding that it was just something random the DCK said.

I think you touched on something though that could definitely stop anything from happening like htis again...you said " I don't even discuss it with the dcks" which actually might not be a bad thing to start doing PRIOR to Christmas.

Have a unit about about respecting beliefs that other kids have. If you do that as part of your curriculum, you might help some of the older kids learn respect and show them other people's perspectives as well as kind of be able to spot anyone who might be a "snitch" during the holidays, kwim?

Anyways, when I said we are not just homes but businesses too, I was replying to the line of thought this thread was taking.

[jennifer lynne]

oops the elf is out

I made the right choice long ago...NO DAYCARE! I refuse to allow my daughter around (even if it is just a few) kids that will teach, impair, or ruin her. I feel awful I ever did the "elf on the shelf" #1...I had to put my child to bed devastated that her "ellie" was leaving !#2 I was devastated by finding out there was no santa. (At the same time catholic nuns were telling me to believe in God....) The elf was great for one thing; behavior, but now we are grieving her loss...If you don't want other kids to influence your child do not use daycare~! I feel we are setting our kids up for resentment anyways!
either way didn't get bent out of shape when they lie to you...Their environment and past experiences allows this...keep lying!