Michael-Are There Rules For The Forum?

[Christian Mother]

Can I just say that for me...if I didn't have this forum I would be lost...

I come and go from here not bc I'm bored or upset from a post...but bc daycare sometimes doesn't leave me much time to get on here. And, I am going through a lot of personal things...things you all know I am not above putting out there..!! And right now I am sick but watching the kiddo's anyway...I share everything about my life. I am a open book and bc of that I open my self up to criticism. But that is good. I like all kinds of feed back and some of it isn't always going to be good. I am not overly sensitive and I can take the bad with the good. I already know i don't run a typical state ran daycare...I am not typical by any means judging on reading a lot of posts. But, I've learned that I can better my program here by your all's advice. And I recognized I still have a lot to learn.

[My3cents]

"Cheeky, I definitely agree about the "family feel" and I wish members weren't "afraid" to post openly. Because I do think there are many who feel that way. I do think that differeing views and perspectives are super important, especially in this job where we are often homebound and not able to get out during the day. We become isolated from outside opinions or views that differ from ours.

I sincerely hope that the regular member you had a difference of opinion with with was not me.... I know we run our programs very differently but as a regular and active member of this board, I for one value what you have to say. I run my program more on the business side where as I am pretty sure you run yours more on the family-relationship side of things and I respect you for doing so.

I also want EVERYONE here to know that if you ever disagree or do not like something I have posted or said, please don't ever hesitate to call me out on it, post your honest response and/or PM me if necessary. I am human and I can lose sight of the point and let my feelings get in the way just as easily as anyone else.

I am a pretty outspoken person and I know I don't do things exactly the same as others (as we are ALL unique) but I would never personally want anyone to ever feel I was squashing their true feelings or thoughts for fear of any type of "flaming" in retribution. I just want to throw out there that I love this board and it really is my "outlet" for stress and helps me keep going on a regular basis.

I truly appreciate every single member here and I respect everyone for how they choose to run their businesses and for their thoughts AND opinions....ESPECIALLY when they are different from mine.

I love seeing things from another person's viewpoint. It gives us all a chance to evaluate our actions, thoughts and words which is a good thing since we all know that no two kids, days and/or situations are the same.

I think that we should all take a step back and re-read the posts we write. We all need to double check that our words aren't hurtful or mean towards any one. It is awesome if we want to disagree but we need to do it in a respectful manner. Kind of like how we teach our daycare kids, be nice or don't play together. Really NOT that hard to do. "

I could have wrote most of the above- except I try to strike a balance with the business end and the family relationships. Everything is so multi faceted that I find myself spinning some days like a disco ball and bouncing back the reflections of the mirror images on each facet- We have to be, we wear so many hats in this job and in our lives outside of the job. All in all I hope my honey comb hide out has a special place in the nest/hive just as you all have that special place too- 3Cents

[AmyLeigh]

My opinion and experience only, take it for what it's worth.

Between this and another forum I am on, the posts I have learned the most from were the ones that offended me at first. Once I 'got over it', I went back, re-read the post and saw the invaluable advice in it. They forced me to look at a situation in a completely different way. That is how we learn, isn't it?
The debate threads here crack me up, actually. I was literally laughing outloud at the sprinkler thread yesterday. Kiddos were looking at me like I was nuts. ::
The other forum I am on has recently changed and now everyone is afraid of hurting each other's feelings. They water their points down soooo much, that no one can get anything out of it. There used to be a couple of straight shooters that got the ball rolling with some good posts, but they are gone now. That's what I appreciate about Nan, Blackcat, Crystal, and the many others that aren't afraid to post things as they see them. We can take what we can use and leave the rest. I have never seen anyone tell another that 'you must do as I do.' It's more like, 'this works for me.'

[My3cents]

Well that was nice. I needed that lovethis

I'm not tho. I'm a babysitter. That's all.. no more ... no less.

I like being a babysitter. I think it's a nobel job. I do think it gets confuseled here because we have the mix of different KINDS of child care providers. When I read posts of posters I know I try to think: Okay she's a professional child care provider... she's a teacher... she's a nanny... or a center worker. They ARE so different.. the day to day is different and the responsibility and pay is COMPLETELY different. Most of us have similiar age groups but what we DO every day can be totaly different from the poster responding to what we do.

no your not a babysitter. Your a childcare provider- Babysitters get paid much more then we do:: Babysitting is once in a while- you don't grow the same bonds that you have with your steady kids. I agree with BBO- you might not have a written title to all those things, teacher etc... but the experience brings you into those titles with out the certificate. The same for many of us here.

[nannyde]

no your not a babysitter. Your a childcare provider- Babysitters get paid much more then we do:: Babysitting is once in a while- you don't grow the same bonds that you have with your steady kids. I agree with BBO- you might not have a written title to all those things, teacher etc... but the experience brings you into those titles with out the certificate. The same for many of us here.

Well every year at Christmas when the bonus checks come rolling in it says "babysitter" in the bottom left hand corner of the check next to "memo".

happyface

so I'll go with that....

[My3cents]

Well every year at Christmas when the bonus checks come rolling in it says "babysitter" in the bottom left hand corner of the check next to "memo".

happyface

so I'll go with that....

I am guessing you correct the parents real quick in time of needing too::
check in hand not being one of those times-

My daughter babysits- she gets paid far better then I do for her time and efforts. I'm ok with that

[MizzCheryl]

My check memos say daycare

[melskids]

I don't care what mine say, As long as they don't bounce, we're all good.

[Michael]

I’m guessing some people are either turned off by the treatment they receive for having a differing opinion, or are simply afraid to post for fear of being ostracized.

I would say "let it roll off your back". Don't give it legs. If you get worked up about it you give the comment energy that manifests itself into something else. After 24 hours there is really little that stays with me from what I read here. Move on. happyface ( I need a male cheerleader smiley)

*sigh*

I apologize mac. I will not bring up your name again.

Even though what I was saying was true, I shouldn't have said it.

Kind of reminds me of driving on the freeway. Don't turn on your turn signal. The other driver will just rush up and not let you in. Just jump in (with a Hummer is preferred)

I just wanted to say that I love this forum! It helped me get through a time in my business a few months ago when I had a family who was not being the nicest it could be and reading all the posts here helped me figure out that it was not me, it was them.

Thank you, thank you, thank you! It is time consuming but this forum has become a second home for me. I'm glad you appreciate it.

#1 rule on being on a forum, don't take everything to heart.

It's impossible to see the body language on a monitor.

Exactly what I was saying in the first quote. Tomorrow is another day. Leave the crap behind.

[Lucy]

I know a few people have been changing their usernames. Which isn't fun, because we form a bond with certain members, but once that name is gone, what we remember about them goes with it. But you could always creep into their posting history i guess.

I should have probably alerted everyone that I changed my username. It had NOTHING to do with wanting to become someone else in this forum. One of my moms told me she found a great website with lots of info on kids in daycare, (not sure if it was THIS one, but could be) and I wanted to separate my internet life from my professional life (ya know... in case I post a gripe and they figure out it's me!! ) .... so I changed my username. I FULLY knew that you guys could VERY EASILY go back and read my old posts. In fact, I actually didn't say anything about the new name because I figured that's exactly what most of you would do!! Bottom line, I just didn't want it where a dc mom could google my name, and up pops a gripe about her!! LOL

[dEHmom]

I should have probably alerted everyone that I changed my username. It had NOTHING to do with wanting to become someone else in this forum. One of my moms told me she found a great website with lots of info on kids in daycare, (not sure if it was THIS one, but could be) and I wanted to separate my internet life from my professional life (ya know... in case I post a gripe and they figure out it's me!! ) .... so I changed my username. I FULLY knew that you guys could VERY EASILY go back and read my old posts. In fact, I actually didn't say anything about the new name because I figured that's exactly what most of you would do!! Bottom line, I just didn't want it where a dc mom could google my name, and up pops a gripe about her!! LOL

when we all got on the website kick, everyone was posting their website links, and all that. then reality hit that if you google the website, it will lead you to daycare.com and parents, especially potential clients, would be able to see your username, and go into your history.

you have to be very careful never to disclose anything on here that you don't want the whole world knowing.

[Heidi]

I should have probably alerted everyone that I changed my username. It had NOTHING to do with wanting to become someone else in this forum. One of my moms told me she found a great website with lots of info on kids in daycare, (not sure if it was THIS one, but could be) and I wanted to separate my internet life from my professional life (ya know... in case I post a gripe and they figure out it's me!! ) .... so I changed my username. I FULLY knew that you guys could VERY EASILY go back and read my old posts. In fact, I actually didn't say anything about the new name because I figured that's exactly what most of you would do!! Bottom line, I just didn't want it where a dc mom could google my name, and up pops a gripe about her!! LOL

Makes sense to me...I recently had a moderator remove some identifying info on a few of my posts. I don't want someone googling my dc and finding me here. I don't really have anything to hide, and honestly, if someone tried hard enough, they could figure it out. I just prefer to share my feeling here sometimes with people who get it, knowing that it doesn't mean I don't enjoy my job, and realize it's a privilege to have these kiddos in my life. Never-the-less, we do get frustrated!

[Lucy]

Makes sense to me...I recently had a moderator remove some identifying info on a few of my posts. I don't want someone googling my dc and finding me here. I don't really have anything to hide, and honestly, if someone tried hard enough, they could figure it out. I just prefer to share my feeling here sometimes with people who get it, knowing that it doesn't mean I don't enjoy my job, and realize it's a privilege to have these kiddos in my life. Never-the-less, we do get frustrated!

Yes... exactly. I have nothing to hide, but I've complained about my one PITA family (whose kids I ADORE, btw, but mom & dad are clueless), and it's just not stuff I would say TO them, so I don't want them reading it here. I post it here because you all "get me". That's the only reason I changed it. People want to put a whole lot of mystery and intrigue into it, and be proud of themselves when they bust the code, but it just isn't like that. So... whatever....

[CheekyChick]

I would say "let it roll off your back". Don't give it legs. If you get worked up about it you give the comment energy that manifests itself into something else. After 24 hours there is really little that stays with me from what I read here. Move on. happyface ( I need a male cheerleader smiley)

Michael,

Believe me, I have no problem letting things roll off my back. I get on these boards KNOWING that I will not agree with every opinion, nor will everyone agree with me. I was only stating that when I disagreed with a well-known poster – her and her friends jumped on me like gangbusters. Since then, I haven’t felt welcome here.

I’d also like to add, I am not afraid of a little friendly debate, or even a huge debate, but when I am personally attacked for giving MY opinion, I think that’s where the moderators should jump in and not allow the bullying or intimidation.

In closing, I think that giving a differing opinion does not bode well on this forum and I (personally believe) that many posters leave this board, stop posting (and begin lurking), or are simply too afraid to post. I think that is a shame because there is so much to gain by interacting with men and women who work in the same field.

Thank you for listening…

[Michael]

Michael,

Believe me, I have no problem letting things roll off my back. I get on these boards KNOWING that I will not agree with every opinion, nor will everyone agree with me. I was only stating that when I disagreed with a well-known poster – her and her friends jumped on me like gangbusters. Since then, I haven’t felt welcome here.

I’d also like to add, I am not afraid of a little friendly debate, or even a huge debate, but when I am personally attacked for giving MY opinion, I think that’s where the moderators should jump in and not allow the bullying or intimidation.

In closing, I think that giving a differing opinion does not bode well on this forum and I (personally believe) that many posters leave this board, stop posting (and begin lurking), or are simply too afraid to post. I think that is a shame because there is so much to gain by interacting with men and women who work in the same field.

Thank you for listening…

Here's a tip. PM me when something like that arises. Those that first make me aware of a situation will get me involved on thier side in viewing the conversation. If I see something that seems unfair or unwarranted, on either side, I will always PM or email those that are leveraging the forum in improper ways. I have a certain climate I want for this forum and no one member is bigger than it as a whole.