Michael-Are There Rules For The Forum?

[AfterSchoolMom]

I just stay out of the debates. I stay happier that way.

[SilverSabre25]

*sigh*

I apologize mac. I will not bring up your name again.

Even though what I was saying was true, I shouldn't have said it.

[mac60]

*sigh*

I apologize mac. I will not bring up your name again.

Even though what I was saying was true, I shouldn't have said it.

Wow, just wow. Do you never stop? Did it make you feel good to get that last dig in?

[saved4always]

I just wanted to say that I love this forum! It helped me get through a time in my business a few months ago when I had a family who was not being the nicest it could be and reading all the posts here helped me figure out that it was not me, it was them. I was able to get over them and go on in my business knowing that it is okay to have my own rules and that I do not have to change them to keep a family happy. I thank you all for that! This forum helps me gain perspective when I am looking at something too emotionally.

Anywhere there are differing opinions, there will be at least a little bit of drama. IMO, it makes things interesting and can make me ponder another point of view. If you all think there is a lot of drama here, you should check out the QVC beauty forum. It is funny how a forum about beauty can get so ugly.

[SunshineMama]

I just wanted to say that I love this forum! It helped me get through a time in my business a few months ago when I had a family who was not being the nicest it could be and reading all the posts here helped me figure out that it was not me, it was them. I was able to get over them and go on in my business knowing that it is okay to have my own rules and that I do not have to change them to keep a family happy. I thank you all for that! This forum helps me gain perspective when I am looking at something too emotionally.

Anywhere there are differing opinions, there will be at least a little bit of drama. IMO, it makes things interesting and can make me ponder another point of view. If you all think there is a lot of drama here, you should check out the QVC beauty forum. It is funny how a forum about beauty can get so ugly.

:: I am going to check out the QVC beauty forum today! ::

[CheekyChick]

In my opinion, I think this forum would have a more “family feel” if people were able to voice their opinions without getting jumped on. I learned early on that if you disagree with one of the regular posters, keep it to yourself. Since I had a difference of opinion with a regular poster a while back, I don’t feel super welcome here.

I’m guessing some people are either turned off by the treatment they receive for having a differing opinion, or are simply afraid to post for fear of being ostracized.

[MyAngels]

*sigh*

I apologize mac. I will not bring up your name again.

Even though what I was saying was true, I shouldn't have said it.

Seriously?! What a backhanded apology. I agree with Mac and the others - this kind of thing is totally uncalled for.

[nannyde]

Anywhere there are differing opinions, there will be at least a little bit of drama. IMO, it makes things interesting and can make me ponder another point of view. If you all think there is a lot of drama here, you should check out the QVC beauty forum. It is funny how a forum about beauty can get so ugly.

I've been on daycare and adoption boards since 98. Fourteen years and a number of forums and this board is very similiar to the ones back in 98. I met some of my good day care friends way back when and we STILL talk to each other every day. Fourteen years is a long time to talk child care.

For every person who I've seen say they will leave the board maybe one in ten or so actually do. Usually when people leave it's because life happens, they quit child care, or they get bored with talking about child care. A couple of years on one board and you see the same convo's over and over. It's pretty rare that something new actually comes up.

The debates are an integral part of a successful board especially in child care. People feel very pasionately about little kids and day care is HARD done well. This board is an excellent example of ways of doing child care that are vastly different and netting a successful long run of child care, happy and healthy kids, and satisfied customers. What would work with one provider wouldn't even be considered by another. One provider can build their entire business on a philsophy that another wouldn't dream of doing. Sorting that out can get downright complicated with strong debates and disagreements. Using the written word and a few emoticons complicates it even further.

It's not perfect but it's a good deal. Daycare.com hosts this board free of charge to us and I appreciate it. The advantages far outweigh the downsides IMHO.

[mac60]

I agree with you Nannyde. What I don't understand is how/why some think it is okay to bully others, belittle them, etc. Disagreeing is one thing, attacking is a whole other issue.

[nannyde]

I agree with you Nannyde. What I don't understand is how/why some think it is okay to bully others, belittle them, etc. Disagreeing is one thing, attacking is a whole other issue.

You know you are one of the main persons here that got me to go from lurker to poster. I lurked for a REALLY long time and read the entire archives before I posted. I have never posted unregistered here.

I read every post your wrote. You made me think and laugh.

[dEHmom]

I know a few people have been changing their usernames. Which isn't fun, because we form a bond with certain members, but once that name is gone, what we remember about them goes with it. But you could always creep into their posting history i guess.



As far as general rules and regulations here, I believe common sense and respect are 2 good rules.

It is not possible for anyone in this world to see things the same way as anyone else. Unless you are physically standing in their shoes, seeing through their eyes and processing the information with their brain. No one is going to see things as you do, but it is our job to HELP them understand our side of the story.

Rules of Engagement:
1. Everyone is always right
2. Everyone's greatest desire is to be right
3. You can't change another person's mind
4. You CAN help people shift their perspective.

[nannyde]

I know a few people have been changing their usernames. Which isn't fun, because we form a bond with certain members, but once that name is gone, what we remember about them goes with it. But you could always creep into their posting history i guess.

::

Or a few clicks into their posting history.

When their name is gone what we remember about them stays with them.

What happens on daycare.com STAYS on daycare.com ;-)

[Blackcat31]

In my opinion, I think this forum would have a more “family feel” if people were able to voice their opinions without getting jumped on. I learned early on that if you disagree with one of the regular posters, keep it to yourself. Since I had a difference of opinion with a regular poster a while back, I don’t feel super welcome here.

I’m guessing some people are either turned off by the treatment they receive for having a differing opinion, or are simply afraid to post for fear of being ostracized.

Cheeky, I definitely agree about the "family feel" and I wish members weren't "afraid" to post openly. Because I do think there are many who feel that way. I do think that differeing views and perspectives are super important, especially in this job where we are often homebound and not able to get out during the day. We become isolated from outside opinions or views that differ from ours.

I sincerely hope that the regular member you had a difference of opinion with with was not me.... I know we run our programs very differently but as a regular and active member of this board, I for one value what you have to say. I run my program more on the business side where as I am pretty sure you run yours more on the family-relationship side of things and I respect you for doing so.

I also want EVERYONE here to know that if you ever disagree or do not like something I have posted or said, please don't ever hesitate to call me out on it, post your honest response and/or PM me if necessary. I am human and I can lose sight of the point and let my feelings get in the way just as easily as anyone else.

I am a pretty outspoken person and I know I don't do things exactly the same as others (as we are ALL unique) but I would never personally want anyone to ever feel I was squashing their true feelings or thoughts for fear of any type of "flaming" in retribution. I just want to throw out there that I love this board and it really is my "outlet" for stress and helps me keep going on a regular basis.

I truly appreciate every single member here and I respect everyone for how they choose to run their businesses and for their thoughts AND opinions....ESPECIALLY when they are different from mine.

I love seeing things from another person's viewpoint. It gives us all a chance to evaluate our actions, thoughts and words which is a good thing since we all know that no two kids, days and/or situations are the same.

I think that we should all take a step back and re-read the posts we write. We all need to double check that our words aren't hurtful or mean towards any one. It is awesome if we want to disagree but we need to do it in a respectful manner. Kind of like how we teach our daycare kids, be nice or don't play together. Really NOT that hard to do.

[nannyde]

Cheeky, I definitely agree about the "family feel" and I wish members weren't "afraid" to post openly. Because I do think there are many who feel that way. I do think that differeing views and perspectives are super important, especially in this job where we are often homebound and not able to get out during the day. We become isolated from outside opinions or views that differ from ours.

I sincerely hope that the regular member you had a difference of opinion with with was not me.... I know we run our programs very differently but as a regular and active member of this board, I for one value what you have to say. I run my program more on the business side where as I am pretty sure you run yours more on the family-relationship side of things and I respect you for doing so.

I also want EVERYONE here to know that if you ever disagree or do not like something I have posted or said, please don't ever hesitate to call me out on it, post your honest response and/or PM me if necessary. I am human and I can lose sight of the point and let my feelings get in the way just as easily as anyone else.

I am a pretty outspoken person and I know I don't do things exactly the same as others (as we are ALL unique) but I would never personally want anyone to ever feel I was squashing their true feelings or thoughts for fear of any type of "flaming" in retribution. I just want to throw out there that I love this board and it really is my "outlet" for stress and helps me keep going on a regular basis.

I truly appreciate every single member here and I respect everyone for how they choose to run their businesses and for their thoughts AND opinions....ESPECIALLY when they are different from mine.

I love seeing things from another person's viewpoint. It gives us all a chance to evaluate our actions, thoughts and words which is a good thing since we all know that no two kids, days and/or situations are the same.

I think that we should all take a step back and re-read the posts we write. We all need to double check that our words aren't hurtful or mean towards any one. It is awesome if we want to disagree but we need to do it in a respectful manner. Kind of like how we teach our daycare kids, be nice or don't play together. Really NOT that hard to do.

I had this conversation with Cathearder on the phone a few months ago and she explained this to me in a way I could really get it.

She said that in the daycare world that we are so isolated that the adult contact we have on a day to day basis WEIGHS more to our brains and our hearts than normal people who work out in the real world and deal with adults all the time. She said after years of doing this business that we adapt to having little adult contact BUT the heaviness on our minds of the adults that DO talk to us daily gets higher and higher the longer you do the business.

So I keep this in mind with my daycare parents first. I have even HAD this convo with a daycare parent when we had a long convo about something that came up. When I explained it to her she readily understood. She said she felt that way for the few weeks she was on maternity leave and that was nuttin compared to doing childcare for 18 years.

To me, it makes sense.

We are a bit more hypersensitive because we naturally crave age mates or work mates in some capacity... so when we GET that here it matters to us a lot more than it would if we were all each one of forty work mates in an office.

That make sense?

[Blackcat31]

I had this conversation with Cathearder on the phone a few months ago and she explained this to me in a way I could really get it.

She said that in the daycare world that we are so isolated that the adult contact we have on a day to day basis WEIGHS more to our brains and our hearts than normal people who work out in the real world and deal with adults all the time. She said after years of doing this business that we adapt to having little adult contact BUT the heaviness on our minds of the adults that DO talk to us daily gets higher and higher the longer you do the business.

So I keep this in mind with my daycare parents first. I have even HAD this convo with a daycare parent when we had a long convo about something that came up. When I explained it to her she readily understood. She said she felt that way for the few weeks she was on maternity leave and that was nuttin compared to doing childcare for 18 years.

To me, it makes sense.

We are a bit more hypersensitive because we naturally crave age mates or work mates in some capacity... so when we GET that here it matters to us a lot more than it would if we were all each one of forty work mates in an office.

That make sense?

It absolutely makes sense! Look how many times a member has said something along the lines of their DH or SO or BFF makes fun or makes a comment about their sentences starting with "Well on the daycare.com forum.....". We are naturally drawn to others who have shared interests or common ground.

We definitely place a value on our friends (even virtual ones) because it is human nature to seek others out who "understand" or know where we are coming from. Even our family members don't always "get it".

We place ALOT of value on the opinions of members here because in an essence everyone here is a co-worker of mine. I have never met anyone on this board in person, I have talked to a few on the phone and I know what many of you actually look like but I wouldn't recognize anyone if I was standing in line next to them in Target...but some how, you are ALL my friends. VALUED friends.

Friends I look forward to talking to every day.