Is Daycare A Women's World?

[GrannyJ]

My Son also helps me! He is an ex marine and in the evening he teaches Ju Jit Sue. He is a divorced father and loves children and the children love him. He only comes by now to visit because I only have 2 children right now but everyday the kids ask if he is going to be here!!!

I have to say I was shocked reading some of the post and almost brought to tears. I would expect this from parents but not from providers.

[Meeko]

So if all men are potential child molesters....I guess women should stay single and use a sperm bank......because men can't be loving and nurturing to children?????? What an insult to every loving father out there.

Men CAN be good care providers. More should go for it. Every client I have ever had over the years has been thrilled with the care their children received from my husband and my son. One client was single mother of two boys. She lived with her mother and her sisters. She loved the fact that her boys got to play ball with my guys and be "boys"!!

But I still do get calls from women who think my son must be weird because he chose working with kids as a career.

And yet they don't seem to balk at male pediatricians who get to touch their kids all over and see them undressed! Why the double standard? If men are so heinous, then why trust ANY man???? Just sayin'.....it's so silly.

[dave4him]

24 hours on this board and i already know how to start hot topics Fun. Glad there is so much imput really since you kind of feel alone when the stay at home mom groups in the area wont let you visit for play dates.

[Blackcat31]

24 hours on this board and i already know how to start hot topics Fun. Glad there is so much imput really since you kind of feel alone when the stay at home mom groups in the area wont let you visit for play dates.

Seriously? Bet they'd let you in if you said you'd change the oil in their cars! LOL!! Not funny. but that is sad that they won't let you join...

What kind of message is that sending to their children then? Wow, some people.

[nannyde]

One of my neighbors did day care for years when his kids were little. His wife worked at an insurance company and got him some of her work mates kids for business. I think he made it five years or so.

He only had little boys who were age mates to his kids.

I wouldn't hire a male staff assistant. It would be too big of an obstacle to get over. I can see husband and wife teams or mother son teams but a male non related assistant would markedly decrease my chances of getting the particular parent I'm after.

If I owned a center I would hire males in a heartbeat. The younger males with the three and up crowd is a big seller.

[Country Kids]

One of my neighbors did day care for years when his kids were little. His wife worked at an insurance company and got him some of her work mates kids for business. I think he made it five years or so.

He only had little boys who were age mates to his kids.

I wouldn't hire a male staff assistant. It would be too big of an obstacle to get over. I can see husband and wife teams or mother son teams but a male non related assistant would markedly decrease my chances of getting the particular parent I'm after.

If I owned a center I would hire males in a heartbeat. The younger males with the three and up crowd is a big seller.

Why would it be a big obstacle? Why would it decrease your chances for parents?

[nannyde]

Why would it be a big obstacle? Why would it decrease your chances for parents?

They wouldn't go for it.

[Michelle]

My hubby is my assistant too but I do have to admit that when I was at Ikea the other day, I wanted to put my dd in the daycare because she loves it and there was only a man in there and I just kept walking.
I'm sorry, but one little grab or one touch can dramatically change a child's life.
My job is to protect my child and I know it sounds ridiculous coming from me because my hubby is my assistant but I know he is awesome and would never hurt a child.
I have never had a single parent say anything about him being here.
They love him and so do the kids.

[dave4him]

Its a difficult thing really. I know i would have a hard time thinking of putting my kids in a daycare with a guy there unless i knew him really, really well. Trust plays a high role in anything though. I have seen plently of messed up women as well as men so im not sure gender roles cant ccarry both types.

[learn-n-grow]

I think it is wonderful (my DH is my backup) but you should be aware of the huge stigma attached to men and changing diapers/toileting.

I have worked in a few large centers, inspected and conducted trainings in even more... They all had one underlying theme.... No Men allowed in rooms with diapering or potty training.

Do I think it is fair? No. Is it real? Yes.

But what's sad is that women are very capable of doing the same things people fear that men would do and what sucks is a lot of women get away with it...some world we live in.

[Michelle]

Little girls get very shy at around 4 and 5 and some girls this age occasionally have toilet accidents or need baths, you can't imagine how uncomfortable these girls would feel having a man that's not her daddy change them or help them with their clothing. To me it's just not natural and not right to make a girl go through this.
I have heard people bring up the fact that kids have male teachers and pediatricians. Male teachers only teach, they don't change their clothes.
Pediatricians visits are usually only once a year for physicals and the parents can choose a male or female doctor.
I always let my child decide when they got to a certain age if they want a male or female doctor.
My hubby does not change diapers or clothing, he is their friend,preschool teacher,driver,cook, playground referee,and sometimes trampoline ::::

In todays day and age you can't be too careful and I don't know why a man would want the liability of being the only male adult in the house full of kids that we all know love to tell stories and with parents that love to blame every little scratch or rash on the provider.

[Blackcat31]

Little girls get very shy at around 4 and 5 and some girls this age occasionally have toilet accidents or need baths, you can't imagine how uncomfortable these girls would feel having a man that's not her daddy change them or help them with their clothing. To me it's just not natural and not right to make a girl go through this. I have heard people bring up the fact that kids have male teachers and pediatricians. Male teachers only teach, they don't change their clothes.
Pediatricians visits are usually only once a year for physicals and the parents can choose a male or female doctor.
I always let my child decide when they got to a certain age if they want a male or female doctor.
My hubby does not change diapers or clothing, he is their friend,preschool teacher,driver,cook, playground referee,and sometimes trampoline ::::

In todays day and age you can't be too careful and I don't know why a man would want the liability of being the only male adult in the house full of kids that we all know love to tell stories and with parents that love to blame every little scratch or rash on the provider.

Make a little girl go through what??? Why would they be traumatized by an adult caregiver attending to their basic needs? What about boys? They are changed and assisted by women who are not their mothers? Are they traumatized by that?

The only reason a child would be uncomfortable with that situation is if they somehow have the impression that one gender is safer than another. Children adopt the attitudes they have about the world around them from the adults in their lives.

I am really surprised and saddened by the attitudes some of the poster's have on this forum. Especially because we are child care providers and by taking on that role, we have a responsibility to teach our little ones, acceptance, tolerance, diversity and equality for both genders.

[mismatchedsocks]

I will go back to read the posts after I write. My assistant is my boyfriend Dave. He has been here for about 2 years, almost done with associates in early childhood, got a few grants and job offers JUST for being a guy in the field. I have had most parents love it! One parent did not sign because she didnt want him changing her daughter diaper...to each their own. ( she did call back a little while after and actually since we have become accredited to see if we had openings. NOPE!, not taking that liability)

His name is Dave too.


Just went back to read the posts. If and when I open a center I really hope there are males that apply. I would love to kick this sterotype in the butt. Yes it can happen, but it can happen at school as well ( are kids not supposed to be alone in classroom with male? ) it can happen anywhere, uncles, family, own fathers... how can you know? You cant. Just run background checks, have gut instincts and stay on top of your childs care, regardless if its male or female.

[daycare]

after reading some of these post, I recall a situation that had occured a few years ago. I was very ill and needed to go to the doctors. My daycare was full at the time. I had 4 boys and 4 girls here.

Well, I have never closed for illness and was not even taking the time to get regular medical check ups. After getting very ill, I had to start going to the doctors weekly. It was only going to be for about an hour maybe less. So I wrote to all of the familes to let them know that my husband would be my back up and that all of the appointments would be made during napping hours. This way it woudl be easy on everyone. Especially my husband.

Well most of the families felt horrible and some even asked me if they wanted me to just keep their kids home on those days I would need to go to the docs. I said no, everything is fine, my husand is here. One of the families that had two girls here threw a huge fit and said NO way.
So I told them that they would need to either come pick thier kids up or I could hire an asst they would have to pay.
Eventually they gave in. I just think that its so crazy that people think so closed minded..... I told them your a dad and you stay home with your girls, my husband is a dad too and he also stays home with our girl, whats the difference?
Ugh...people

[Michelle]

I am talking about a man alone with children all day everyday.
Not an occasional back up for appointments or emergencies.
If the flood gates get opened to this,(all male run family daycares) some Mc Martin type thing will happen, then it will be all over the news and parents will not want their kids in home care if there is even a man living there (such as a hubbie that works outside the home while wife runs the daycare)
We have all seen how the news often makes things worse. They put fear in people and then we will all have a very hard time getting parents to trust us.

Yes, there are male obgyn's and male teachers but when women go to the obgyn and have a male Doctor ... there has to be a nurse present. (to protect him)
When my teen daughters are alone in the room with their male counselors or male teachers, the adults always leave the door open, blinds open and sometimes even has another adult present to protect themselves.

I am all for male teachers,(my daughters have had many) just not at this young tender age.
Kids this age can not usually tell what has happened to them or even defend themselves.
Why would anyone want this liability?

Nobody has answered this question.