Crystal...This One's For You!

[MommyMuffin]

you forgot your eye roll icon.

[jen]

While I believe the name of the thread could have been more tasteful, it is a great topic to have it's own thread.

I don't believe there is anyone attacking this particular member though. Except maybe the op.

I just wanted to make it clear that we are not saying we are using Caesars methods to "train" our children like they are animals. Just that his methods can be applied to other aspects of everyday life, including raising children.

Uhmmm no. I wasn't being rude to Crystal. If you look at the babygate thread, Crystal was doing her "Wow, just Wow" thing in response to a reference someone made regarding Cesar Milan. I'm sorry, but THAT is rude.

It just so happens that I came across an article regarding Cesar (I didn't know who it was, did a search) and discovered many people, including some child development experts are taking some key points from his theories and applying them to children and I wanted to point that out to her. None of us should be so quick to judge another providers or another "experts" school of thought.

Unfortunately, my point has been completely lost. Aside from making the more academic point, I am a little tired of Crystal rolling her eyes or doing the "Wow" thing which clearly implies that those of us who might disagree with her are simply beyone comprehension.

[MyAngels]

Uhmmm no. I wasn't being rude to Crystal. If you look at the babygate thread, Crystal was doing her "Wow, just Wow" thing in response to a reference someone made regarding Cesar Milan. I'm sorry, but THAT is rude.

It just so happens that I came across an article regarding Cesar (I didn't know who it was, did a search) and discovered many people, including some child development experts are taking some key points from his theories and applying them to children and I wanted to point that out to her. None of us should be so quick to judge another providers or another "experts" school of thought.

Unfortunately, my point has been completely lost. Aside from making the more academic point, I am a little tired of Crystal rolling her eyes or doing the "Wow" thing which clearly implies that those of us who might disagree with her are simply beyone comprehension.

I rarely get in on the "controversy" threads, but I do agree with this.

It is easy to deal with posters that you aren't interested in hearing from, though, just by adding them to your ignore list.

[dEHmom]

Uhmmm no. I wasn't being rude to Crystal. If you look at the babygate thread, Crystal was doing her "Wow, just Wow" thing in response to a reference someone made regarding Cesar Milan. I'm sorry, but THAT is rude.

It just so happens that I came across an article regarding Cesar (I didn't know who it was, did a search) and discovered many people, including some child development experts are taking some key points from his theories and applying them to children and I wanted to point that out to her. None of us should be so quick to judge another providers or another "experts" school of thought.

Unfortunately, my point has been completely lost. Aside from making the more academic point, I am a little tired of Crystal rolling her eyes or doing the "Wow" thing which clearly implies that those of us who might disagree with her are simply beyone comprehension.

It was a little rude and it threw me off when she made the comment. My defense went up.

However, by putting her name on the thread, you have finger pointed. And I would be incredibly hurt if someone called me out like that. Thats all I meant.



There is an ignore option! first i've heard of this.

[jen]

It was a little rude and it threw me off when she made the comment. My defense went up.

However, by putting her name on the thread, you have finger pointed. And I would be incredibly hurt if someone called me out like that. Thats all I meant.



There is an ignore option! first i've heard of this.

I totally get where you are coming from! I had considered simply doing a quote in the original thread. In the end, I decided it really is the same thing...when we quote and respond, we are calling someone out on something... and by chosing that option I would be taking that thread more off-topic then it already was. So, I created a new thread which was directed at Crystal, but not for the intention of being rude, but to share information directly with her. But, yes, I could have sent a pm and then posted a link for others who may be interested in a seperate thread. I did think the article was fabulous!

All of that aside, when one is rude to people, others are going to call you on it. Just as you have called me out! I'm OK with that...if we are going to make bold statements, rude remarks, or roll our eyes at people, we should expect it!

I don't think it's too far fetched to believe that she may have expected a harsh response to her post.

[DCMomOf3]

I totally get where you are coming from! I had considered simply doing a quote in the original thread. In the end, I decided it really is the same thing...when we quote and respond, we are calling someone out on something... and by chosing that option I would be taking that thread more off-topic then it already was. So, I created a new thread which was directed at Crystal, but not for the intention of being rude, but to share information directly with her. But, yes, I could have sent a pm and then posted a link for others who may be interested in a seperate thread. I did think the article was fabulous!

All of that aside, when one is rude to people, others are going to call you on it. Just as you have called me out! I'm OK with that...if we are going to make bold statements, rude remarks, or roll our eyes at people, we should expect it!

I don't think it's too far fetched to believe that she may have expected a harsh response to her post.

There was an easy way to start a thread without directly calling anyone out. Title the thread "Speaking of Cesear Milan.." and let the link speak for itself.

I am getting pretty sad from the P/A posting that has been going on this last week.:confused: there are ways to talk about something without bringing down anyone. And to say Crystal asked for/expected rudeness, reads like you think she is to blame for any negative response that is posted, when actually she is just responsible for what she herself said.

Everyone should remember that:

You can't control others, but you can control you.
Treat others as you wish to be treated.
You get more flies with honey than with vinegar.

and any other cliches that fit.

[kendallina]

I can't really speak for Crystal and her comment. But what I can say is that in real life when you network with other providers as much as she does I bet she never hears people saying many of the things that you read on this forum. There is a lot of misguided suggestions and advice doled out here on this forum that is shocking to say the least.

I seriously do worry about new providers coming on here and thinking that some of the misguided advice given here is appropriate and acceptable. There have been many times when I've read something and thought, 'wow'. And while I try (and I feel Crystal does as well) to normally be helpful in my responses, I know sometime (like today, for me) I just get so overwhelmed by the inappropriateness of the suggestions that it's hard to put words to it.

And, believe me, if the advice that Crystal was talking about was mentioned in a room full of real-life providers who understand child development, it would have been met with a room full of "WOW"s.

[kendallina]

Everyone should remember that:

You can't control others, but you can control you.
Treat others as you wish to be treated.
You get more flies with honey than with vinegar.

and any other cliches that fit.

Yes, thank you, you are absolutely right.

Now I'm going to dust off my smile and get back to the real world.

[Michael]

I rarely get in on the "controversy" threads, but I do agree with this.

It is easy to deal with posters that you aren't interested in hearing from, though, just by adding them to your ignore list.

MyAngels, although I've never used it. Would you mind telling everyone how to use it and how it works?

[nannyde]

Holy smokes! That is one cute puppy! What kind of dog is that? We have Teddy Bears...I love them!

She was sold to me as a teddy bear but I think she's got some kind of mickey mouse chasing dog in her.

She is SO fussy. I've never had a puppy like this. My son calls her a "Mom Addict" ::

[Unregistered]

Rudeness

I've seen posts that have been much more offensive than the OP's post. I think that maybe my perception of what I consider to be rude is a bit different than other people's idea of what "rude" is.

I'm not saying that this is right, but there are some people who put a bulls-eye on their chest when giving opinions not because of the content of their opinion, but in the way that it's delivered. Anytime a person makes a post that has a condescending tone, there could be people just waiting for the chance to knock her down a peg. Again, I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that I've seen it happen.

I don't consider this forum any more mean spirited than any other forum where there is a mix of parents and providers. I just think that some subjects can bring out the inner meanness in people, but it seems like it all passes pretty quickly for the most part.

[Michael]

MyAngels, although I've never used it. Would you mind telling everyone how to use it and how it works?

Ok, here is how you put someone in your "Ignore" list.

Click on the User CP link in the upper left side of the forum. (In the Dark Blue Section)

Click on Edit Ignore List in the left hand column (In the Dark Blue Section)

You can add member names there.

Ignore away!

[Michael]

I've seen posts that have been much more offensive than the OP's post. I think that maybe my perception of what I consider to be rude is a bit different than other people's idea of what "rude" is.

I'm not saying that this is right, but there are some people who put a bulls-eye on their chest when giving opinions not because of the content of their opinion, but in the way that it's delivered. Anytime a person makes a post that has a condescending tone, there could be people just waiting for the chance to knock her down a peg. Again, I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying that I've seen it happen.

I don't consider this forum any more mean spirited than any other forum where there is a mix of parents and providers. I just think that some subjects can bring out the inner meanness in people, but it seems like it all passes pretty quickly for the most part.

Yep, notice I haven't closed this thread yet. It is still civil.

[nannyde]

DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST CREATE A THREAD TO BE RUDE TO ANOTHER MEMBER??? If you have a problem with how someone handles things, please find your nice voice and send a PM.

I am very very sad that there are so many providers on this forum that have so little respect for others and have such a small amount of professionalism.

If you read the article and have been reading the boards you would see that someone else outside of our world has made the correlation to the techniques and heirarchy work that Cesar Milan does with dogs and pack of dogs as similiar to raising healthy balanced children in human "packs" or families.

It's not that big of a leap. Crystal thinks it's a shame and someone who writes for the New York Times thinks it's an interesting comparison.

That's all

There ARE similarities and it's OKAY to understand them. It doesn't mean we are mistreating kids... or not understanding their humaness or their differences to other species. It means we are celebrating the commonality between the species.

Sheesh what would be the purpose of studying different species if we didn't take the time to compare and contrast them to the human species?

Cesar very carefully fields these types of comparisons because the poor guy gets his arse kicked enough about saying no to dogs.

[Cat Herder]

I do think the concept is fascinating. I love to hear differing viewpoints...I could do with less condemnation, sure.

I refer to my "group" as my "herd" all the time (FTR, cats are very "individualized", hence the reference. It is supposed to be ironic) .

I lead by example in the hopes that my Littles will follow.

I feed them well, make sure they get plenty of exercise, mental stimulation, keep them groomed::, and let them feel safe and confident that there is a leader in the room. (Exploration is not as enticing when you feel unsafe or exposed.)

Just seems a simple concept enough?? :confused:

No need to throw colors, IMHO....::::::

There are thousands of theories and philosophies out there. Not every one will work for every child or adult. Not every one will stand the test of time (I recall being taught, in a classroom, how to "effectively" paddle back in the day).