Hello And Confused Daddy Question

[Disgruntled Daddy]

Quite a few responses! Thanks folks! A bit more info...

Me and the mother are seperated (never married) and live around 30min drive apart. Mother lives with her parents, I live alone in semi-assisted living (disabled). It is hard for me to drive, I lock up after about 10 min of driving, so the back and forth is extremely difficult, but I do what I can to be the best father I can be (not saying for pity party by any means, just more that might help you see the situation a bit more).

Since prek started, I pick her up on fridays at the bus, keep her the weekend, and drop her off at the bus monday midday (1230-330 is school). This is every weekend. On 'no school' days, I have her the extra time.

She is only at daycare 2-3 days per week pending her mothers schedule.


@BlackCat

Yes, the provider is licensed.

@Craftymissbeth

That is where we are at, not sure how to hold them both accountable. Quit using the daycare? Is that accountable? Or some other way? How would we go about holding the school accountable? A sit down? Or?

@MrsSteinelshouse

Its tough to understand exactly how things are done at the DC because there is little conversation between me and the mother, as well as myself and the DC. The mother pays for daycare during her 'days' she has her (and therefore has a majority vote on what happens there, I am mostly out of the loop). My days are weekends and school breaks. Of course the occasional emergency (like today) falls in there somewhere too.

More info is that after our kiddo was dropped off from the bus, she did go to mommys (gramma/grampas) first, to an empty house, she was there for about 10 minutes, then walked outside trying to find someone (this was when the neighbor noticed her).

I can see how our little one has confusion, because some days daddy is there, some days mommy is there, other days to daycare and other times gramma grampa gets her. Since it is so confusing is why it's so vital that an ADULT is always there due to scheduling differences (other than my mon & fri, its different who gets her every day). Heavy emphasis on Adult for the main fact that since there isn't a set schedule weekly, there is no way to expect our 4yr to know each day.

@snbauser

I think the ball was dropped by the bus driver for sure! After speaking with the head honcho bus driver earlier, he insisted that there should be an adult able to see her leave the bus and that the daycare was totally irresponsible yesterday. They are now only dropping off on the side of the street of the daycare/house so she will not have to cross the street. He also mentioned "In a perfect world, this wouldn't happen". No S...Sherlock!? Basically talking with him they changed procedure, but he still insisted that there is no 'honk' at dropoff or verification of an adult to pick up kids. Pfft.

@TwinKristi

Me and the mother are speaking about what to do next (be it filing a report/etc). The problem is we have lack of communication and disagree quite often (hence not being together...). I usually back up her decisions but I am still shaken from this happening and not sure if I will ride this solo and suffer the consequences later (with the mother and her family).

She (daughter) went into her moms (gramma grampas) house and couldn't find anyone inside (no one was home). So it was then that she went outside looking for someone and it just so happens the neighbor was outside shoveling snow. This was 30'ish minutes past being dropped off by the bus before she was at the neighbors....what happened in-between we can only get bits of info from our little one since no adult saw exactly what happened and when.

---------UPDATE-----------

I did take her out of daycare this morning (the mother dropped her off on her way to work) and until further notice, she will not be returning to the DC. Of course, we still aren't sure exactly what to do next....

Thanks to all again who are asking questions and helping me (us) through this. I welcome any and all advice/ questions and I am still checking periodically (is there a settings for email notifications when someone posts?)

Thanks all, it is very appreciated!

[Blackcat31]

Thanks to all again who are asking questions and helping me (us) through this. I welcome any and all advice/ questions and I am still checking periodically (is there a settings for email notifications when someone posts?)

Thanks all, it is very appreciated!

Follow these directions:

https://www.daycare.com/forum/faq.php?s=&do=search&q=subscribe&match=all&titlesonly=0

[Disgruntled Daddy]

Thanks blackcat! All set up! Now I just have to figure out how to quote so its easier to respond....I am doing a quick response, but I am sure there is a more 'forum correct' way to do it.

[Neekie]

I have a four year old dck that goes to pre-k and gets dropped off by school bus right in front of my house. The driver will not even open the bus door until she sees me come out on my front porch. If by some chance I would not be there after she has honked and waited for a reasonable amount of time, she would leave and drop off the other kids and my dck would still be on the bus, never just dropped off alone. When she finishes her route she would come around again and see if I come out on my front porch. If I were not to be there again, the child would remain on the bus and the child would be taken back to the school or to the bus garage and the parents would then be called. This has never happened at my day care, but that would be the procedure. And preschoolers are never let off the bus on the opposite side of the street so that the child has to cross the street. We are on a very quiet street, but it is still considered a safety issue. The route is arranged so that little kids are always dropped off on the same side of the street as the house that they being dropped off at.

Sometimes my four year olds are dropped off at the bus stop with all the older kids. In that case the driver needs to meet me face to face and then once he gets to know me, I can stand on my sidewalk and he will release the child and allow him to walk down the sidewalk to meet me if he can clearly see me standing there. I am one house away from the bus stop on the same side of the street. Children can not be released to persons that the driver does not recognize.

Now as a provider, I am very busy and have many distractions, but that does not excuse me from my responsibility of getting a child from a bus if that is the agreement that I have made with the parents. Because it is so easy to forget when I am being pulled in so many directions at one time, I do set myself a timer. And I make sure that he school, the bus company, and the driver know that I am a child care provider in charge of a number of small children. I have requested that the drivers radio their dispatchers and have them call me by phone and let me know that the bus is outside my house and waiting in the event that I am not where they can see me. What would normally happen is that the bus would continue on it's route and then the dispatcher would call me to notify me that the bus had been here and that the bus will be circling back around again.

[Blackcat31]

Thanks blackcat! All set up! Now I just have to figure out how to quote so its easier to respond....I am doing a quick response, but I am sure there is a more 'forum correct' way to do it.

Check out the FAQ section. Filled with all sorts of easy shortcuts...

[Unregistered]

beware of the trolls, they seem to be loose this week ...

[Meyou]

beware of the trolls, they seem to be loose this week ...

This doesn't sound like a troll to me. :confused::confused:

[sleepinghart]

~Forgive me Disgruntled Daddy if you have already stated this, but how long has your daughter been getting off the bus with this provider, and does the provider usually walk outside to the bus everyday that she has your child in her care to get her or does she stay inside? Also, did you ask your daughter why she did not walk to either her provider's house or to her Mommy's house? If so, what was her response? -Okay, I see she went to Mom's/Grandparents house and no one was there and that is when neighbor got her. Did your daughter mention to neighbor that she usually stays with Miss so & so at daycare on days like these or do you know:confused:?

~Have you yourself actually talked to the provider or is the majority of what you've heard on this come from Mom(I just ask because you say it was hours before Mom even called to tell you about it)?

(Disgruntled Daddy quote)"She is only at daycare 2-3 days per week pending her mothers schedule."(end quote)

~Is it possible the daycare provider thought it was her mother's day off or something and therefore her mother had gotten her from the bus?

(Disgruntled Daddy quote) "She was only going to be there for less than two hours before we picked her up and we still had to pay the whole day (which I understand, the 'block' had to be reserved)." (end quote)

~Please don't take this the wrong way, but I am kind of confused here with this because-- If you do indeed understand because "the block has to be reserved" then I guess I just don't get the need to even bring it up.:confused:


~Thanks in advance !