Quite a few responses! Thanks folks! A bit more info...
Me and the mother are seperated (never married) and live around 30min drive apart. Mother lives with her parents, I live alone in semi-assisted living (disabled). It is hard for me to drive, I lock up after about 10 min of driving, so the back and forth is extremely difficult, but I do what I can to be the best father I can be (not saying for pity party by any means, just more that might help you see the situation a bit more).
Since prek started, I pick her up on fridays at the bus, keep her the weekend, and drop her off at the bus monday midday (1230-330 is school). This is every weekend. On 'no school' days, I have her the extra time.
She is only at daycare 2-3 days per week pending her mothers schedule.
@BlackCat
Yes, the provider is licensed.
@Craftymissbeth
That is where we are at, not sure how to hold them both accountable. Quit using the daycare? Is that accountable? Or some other way? How would we go about holding the school accountable? A sit down? Or?
@MrsSteinelshouse
Its tough to understand exactly how things are done at the DC because there is little conversation between me and the mother, as well as myself and the DC. The mother pays for daycare during her 'days' she has her (and therefore has a majority vote on what happens there, I am mostly out of the loop). My days are weekends and school breaks. Of course the occasional emergency (like today) falls in there somewhere too.
More info is that after our kiddo was dropped off from the bus, she did go to mommys (gramma/grampas) first, to an empty house, she was there for about 10 minutes, then walked outside trying to find someone (this was when the neighbor noticed her).
I can see how our little one has confusion, because some days daddy is there, some days mommy is there, other days to daycare and other times gramma grampa gets her. Since it is so confusing is why it's so vital that an ADULT is always there due to scheduling differences (other than my mon & fri, its different who gets her every day). Heavy emphasis on Adult for the main fact that since there isn't a set schedule weekly, there is no way to expect our 4yr to know each day.
@snbauser
I think the ball was dropped by the bus driver for sure! After speaking with the head honcho bus driver earlier, he insisted that there should be an adult able to see her leave the bus and that the daycare was totally irresponsible yesterday. They are now only dropping off on the side of the street of the daycare/house so she will not have to cross the street. He also mentioned "In a perfect world, this wouldn't happen". No S...Sherlock!? Basically talking with him they changed procedure, but he still insisted that there is no 'honk' at dropoff or verification of an adult to pick up kids. Pfft.
@TwinKristi
Me and the mother are speaking about what to do next (be it filing a report/etc). The problem is we have lack of communication and disagree quite often (hence not being together...). I usually back up her decisions but I am still shaken from this happening and not sure if I will ride this solo and suffer the consequences later (with the mother and her family).
She (daughter) went into her moms (gramma grampas) house and couldn't find anyone inside (no one was home). So it was then that she went outside looking for someone and it just so happens the neighbor was outside shoveling snow. This was 30'ish minutes past being dropped off by the bus before she was at the neighbors....what happened in-between we can only get bits of info from our little one since no adult saw exactly what happened and when.
---------UPDATE-----------
I did take her out of daycare this morning (the mother dropped her off on her way to work) and until further notice, she will not be returning to the DC. Of course, we still aren't sure exactly what to do next....
Thanks to all again who are asking questions and helping me (us) through this. I welcome any and all advice/ questions and I am still checking periodically (is there a settings for email notifications when someone posts?)
Thanks all, it is very appreciated!
Me and the mother are seperated (never married) and live around 30min drive apart. Mother lives with her parents, I live alone in semi-assisted living (disabled). It is hard for me to drive, I lock up after about 10 min of driving, so the back and forth is extremely difficult, but I do what I can to be the best father I can be (not saying for pity party by any means, just more that might help you see the situation a bit more).
Since prek started, I pick her up on fridays at the bus, keep her the weekend, and drop her off at the bus monday midday (1230-330 is school). This is every weekend. On 'no school' days, I have her the extra time.
She is only at daycare 2-3 days per week pending her mothers schedule.
@BlackCat
Yes, the provider is licensed.
@Craftymissbeth
That is where we are at, not sure how to hold them both accountable. Quit using the daycare? Is that accountable? Or some other way? How would we go about holding the school accountable? A sit down? Or?
@MrsSteinelshouse
Its tough to understand exactly how things are done at the DC because there is little conversation between me and the mother, as well as myself and the DC. The mother pays for daycare during her 'days' she has her (and therefore has a majority vote on what happens there, I am mostly out of the loop). My days are weekends and school breaks. Of course the occasional emergency (like today) falls in there somewhere too.
More info is that after our kiddo was dropped off from the bus, she did go to mommys (gramma/grampas) first, to an empty house, she was there for about 10 minutes, then walked outside trying to find someone (this was when the neighbor noticed her).
I can see how our little one has confusion, because some days daddy is there, some days mommy is there, other days to daycare and other times gramma grampa gets her. Since it is so confusing is why it's so vital that an ADULT is always there due to scheduling differences (other than my mon & fri, its different who gets her every day). Heavy emphasis on Adult for the main fact that since there isn't a set schedule weekly, there is no way to expect our 4yr to know each day.
@snbauser
I think the ball was dropped by the bus driver for sure! After speaking with the head honcho bus driver earlier, he insisted that there should be an adult able to see her leave the bus and that the daycare was totally irresponsible yesterday. They are now only dropping off on the side of the street of the daycare/house so she will not have to cross the street. He also mentioned "In a perfect world, this wouldn't happen". No S...Sherlock!? Basically talking with him they changed procedure, but he still insisted that there is no 'honk' at dropoff or verification of an adult to pick up kids. Pfft.
@TwinKristi
Me and the mother are speaking about what to do next (be it filing a report/etc). The problem is we have lack of communication and disagree quite often (hence not being together...). I usually back up her decisions but I am still shaken from this happening and not sure if I will ride this solo and suffer the consequences later (with the mother and her family).
She (daughter) went into her moms (gramma grampas) house and couldn't find anyone inside (no one was home). So it was then that she went outside looking for someone and it just so happens the neighbor was outside shoveling snow. This was 30'ish minutes past being dropped off by the bus before she was at the neighbors....what happened in-between we can only get bits of info from our little one since no adult saw exactly what happened and when.
---------UPDATE-----------
I did take her out of daycare this morning (the mother dropped her off on her way to work) and until further notice, she will not be returning to the DC. Of course, we still aren't sure exactly what to do next....
Thanks to all again who are asking questions and helping me (us) through this. I welcome any and all advice/ questions and I am still checking periodically (is there a settings for email notifications when someone posts?)
Thanks all, it is very appreciated!
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