Terming Unmedicated Child, Please Help

[familyschoolcare]

I would not link terming the child to med. you can not prove wither or not the child is medicated and you are not a doctor so you can not deiced that it is in his best interest (not saying it is not, just that you are not qualified to say so). I would link it to the child behavior and keep a log or daily report of everything the child does including when the child has good days and let mom deiced how to handle it.

[jen]

I have gotten that before, too. My son is not on the hyper or disciplinary issue side of the spectrum either. My own parents were the worst to give me a hard time about having him diagnosed.

I am also ADD (I bet nobody here figured that out, yet, right...: once I got out of my parents house (who tried to spank and ground it out of me ) I got a diagnosis. It was empowering.

I went from C's in high school to a 4.0 in college with Adderal XR. Yep, I mailed EVERY report card home blown up into poster size at kinko's for the first few semesters to torment my Mom.

Your experience with your son sounds just like ours.

IME, Once your child has test scores to back up what you believe in your heart, the other parents can no longer make you feel like you are making the "easy" choice.

ADD is not a behavioral thing like many believe.

Behavioral issues are not always ADD, either.

We've been struggling since Kindergarten when I finally gave in last year...
in 5th grade. His end of the year test scores were the FIRST year he has ever tested (on standardized testing) on target for his age group. It's was AWESOME to have him see that and start to believe in himself again. I actually feel bad that I resisted for so long; I made things a lot harder for him than I needed to.

We don't medicate when he's not in school and we will be keeping the tutor, but I am feeling really hopeful this year!

I love hearing stories like yours! They are really inspiring!

[cheerfuldom]

let us know how it goes. I know this decision for the mom is a tough one but after 20 providers, how can she not see that her little girl needs more than what the average provider/teacher can give?

[Cat Herder]

I actually feel bad that I resisted for so long; I made things a lot harder for him than I needed to.!

Dont!! Oh, please don't

My parents were not afraid of the medication effects. They were convinced it was laziness.

It was the 70-80's...THAT was the label they gave kids like me because once I got in trouble for talking in class/fidgeting/not completing classwork and was sent to ISS (isolation/in school suspension) I blew away all the school work without any effort.

They did not get that I could not hear the teacher in class because of his tacky tie, freaky bike handled mustache that kept tickling his nose and making his eye water or that the kids were sniffing, shuffling in their seats and smacking on their pencils.

It was too much I tell you....

To this day if I am writing something and someone talks to me, I write what they say, not what I was doing. I can't tell you how many book fair checks I have signed "hurry up mom" as they were rushing me to catch the bus.

[Sunshine44]

Ok, I'm not understanding why all of you are saying your kids ON meds made their scores better, they listened better, had more friends...but if they are not at school, or just don't want to give them meds anymore.

I know meds aren't anyones first choice, but some ppl NEED them. If it makes them a better person, then give them the meds.

Sorry, just drives me batty seeing you all say you would not medicate for certain reasons when you clearly state it helped. It's like a kid with strep throat, you can get over it yourself, but its easier with meds!

I would tell the parent in person how you are feeling. It is too hard to deal with without meds...so meds or gone. And you can keep a log and know if the meds are in their system. If things really change and she says she is giving meds, she needs to call doc.

[jen]

Dont!! Oh, please don't

My parents were not afraid of the medication effects. They were convinced it was laziness.

It was the 70-80's...THAT was the label they gave kids like me because once I got in trouble for talking in class/fidgeting/not completing classwork and was sent to ISS (isolation/in school suspension) I blew away all the school work without any effort.

They did not get that I could not hear the teacher in class because of his tacky tie, freaky bike handled mustache that kept tickling his nose and making his eye water or that the kids were sniffing, shuffling in their seats and smacking on their pencils.

It was too much I tell you....

To this day if I am writing something and someone talks to me, I write what they say, not what I was doing. I can't tell you how many book fair checks I have signed "hurry up mom" as they were rushing me to catch the bus.

LOL! You're still too much...but in a good way!!!

And thank you....I try not to dwell on it. You know, I said he shouldn't move on to first grade, I said he needed summer school every year...but when I met resistance, it was hard to know if my instincts were correct, or the schools were. Most teachers were HAPPY to write him off as disinterested so long as he wasn't disrupting the classroom

But that whole deal is part of what led me to Community Psychology and Education. Now I am the person staffing the Alternative to Suspension room! Hopefully my experiences as a parent will help me reach some of the kids that come my way! I got to see my classroom today and this weekend I get to order furniture for it! I am beyond thrilled! Everything for a reason for a reason!!!

[wdmmom]

My daughter was diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder a little over 4 years ago. After being hospitalized for 4 days (for threatening to kill herself, possessing a knife and kicking our pregnant nanny in the stomach), she was put on Zoloft. While I was getting better behavior results at home, I was getting calls from the school saying she was falling asleep in class. I knew right then that it had to be the medication because her sleeping habits were and have always been good. I chose because her education was crutial, I would eliminate the meds.

Over the past 4 years things have gotten far worse. We've visited phychologists, psychiatrists, therapists, counselors, medical doctors, pediatricians, etc only to be forwarded to another doctor, then another, then another. We had really hoped that we would be able to get her on a medication that wouldn't have an effect on her education. They all said the same thing...counseling and therapy are best and that they won't prescribe meds.

Now that she's a pre-teen...I wish someone would give meds to this kid!!! I wish doctors would understand my frustration and realize that medicating her isn't only going to help her but it will help everyone in this household.

[Cat Herder]

Ok, I'm not understanding why all of you are saying your kids ON meds made their scores better, they listened better, had more friends...but if they are not at school, or just don't want to give them meds anymore.

I know meds aren't anyones first choice, but some ppl NEED them. If it makes them a better person, then give them the meds.

Sorry, just drives me batty seeing you all say you would not medicate for certain reasons when you clearly state it helped. It's like a kid with strep throat, you can get over it yourself, but its easier with meds!

Are you talking about my posts??

My son and I both take ADD meds. We just had to try several different ones until we found what worked best for us.

It is a constant process working hand in hand with our physician.

[victorial]

I wanted to thank you again for the replies. It's hard to find time to log in here every day working 75 hours a week. Yikes.

I did have the conversation with mom that night without giving any type of termination notice because mom claimed (through tears) that she did realize child needed it and would begin giving it regularly.

Well, child showed up today (second visit since conversation) unmedicated and threw playground gravel at another child's head. Deliberately. This makes me so sad but I know I don't have any choice. Despite what mom claims, she is not going to consistently medicate her.

Like my husband tells me, I can't "save" everyone. (HUGE SIGH)

[Kaddidle Care]

No you can't. But you can save your other Daycare children from the abuse of this child.

Give yourself 24 hours (cool down period) to make your decision and then do what you have to do.

[Unregistered]

Us, too!

Are you talking about my posts??

My son and I both take ADD meds. We just had to try several different ones until we found what worked best for us.

It is a constant process working hand in hand with our physician.

My whole family (me, DH & DD) all have ADHD and we're all medicated for it!

Just imagine what our house looks like

[Cat Herder]

My whole family (me, DH & DD) all have ADHD and we're all medicated for it!

Just imagine what our house looks like

I guess the television remote ends up in your refrigerator, too, then?? ::::

It does strengthen a sense of humor and adds a little zing to life doesn't it?

I love that you guys can support one another, though. I makes it easier to live with.

[Kaddidle Care]

:: I do baskets.. a basket for the remotes, a basket behind the door for keys. And... I'm the only one that uses them!

If they'd only use the baskets, life would be soooo much easier around here! Getting an ADHD person to actually put something back in it's place is a blooming miracle!

I even bought hubby a key chain that beeps when you whistle - he's never taken it out of the box.

[Cat Herder]

I even bought hubby a key chain that beeps when you whistle - he's never taken it out of the box.

:::: Three words... DE NI AL

It will get easier for him to accept a little "help" as he gets older...::::::

[Unregistered]

That just about sums it up...

I guess the television remote ends up in your refrigerator, too, then?? ::::

It does strengthen a sense of humor and adds a little zing to life doesn't it?

I love that you guys can support one another, though. I makes it easier to live with.

Yesterday the remote was in the dryer because I got distracted by the telephone ringing and I was emptying the dryer at the time and just left the remote in the dryer

Also, once my husband put his wallet in the fridge!!!