A situation...

[Unregistered]

I am new to this daycare thing, but I have a serious problem I need help with. A family with 3 kids had 400 in past due charges, 1425 in current charges, so total $1825 they owe me. I had my substitute watch all my kids when I had a root canal done, and when I got home it was late and everyone was gone(on a Friday). Then on Sunday night my sub facebook messaged me and told me about all the horrible things the above mentioned family's oldest daughter did the day I was gone. She is 10 years old, and should know better, but she called another girl some horrible names and made her cry, bossed around my substitute and told her she was doing everything wrong, and kicked a door and put a big dent in it. So during that message conversation, I told my substitute, in these exact words:
"I know, she is such a little bitch"
and
"don't worry, they will have their asses handed to them in the morning"

Which I know were not appropriate, but I was exhausted and fuming mad about being told all of this. Anyway, the 10 year old at some point Monday snuck into my office, turned on my computer, and logged into my facebook account while I was finishing feeding the toddlers lunch and she was supposed to be watching a movie with the other older kids. She called her mom, told her everything that the message said, and an hour later the mom showed up at my door, took her kids, and screamed at me(in front of all the other kids in my care) that I can't get away with calling HER daughter a bitch. I was confused until I figured out that the girl had logged onto my facebook, because I have NEVER used a foul word around any children.
So this week I sent a certified letter letting her know her charges, along with fees for 2 weeks because she didn't give me a notice, which is stated in my contract. She was very angry that I was charging her over $500 just for that, so she just called my surveyor and reported me that had called her daughter a bitch and threatened her children.

What do I do? I don't feel like I did anything wrong, or put any children in danger. I was venting to a friend, and hasn't everyone done that on facebook occasionally? Am I at fault? Should I be worried about my daycare license?

[nannyde]

I think the licensor issue is going to be that the child had access to adult conversations and your computer without having supervision. We have to supervise the kids at all times.

Whatever you have accessible to them has to be appropriate. What the child had access to was adult conversations that happened to be about her. The parent may be angry about the content of it but in reality it's the access to it that will most likely be your biggest problem.

School aged children need constant visual proximal supervision at all times. IMHO They are the most dangerous group and have the highest liklihood to cause the most serious issues in your business. When you look at all the kids in your care... do not overlook that this child, at the age of ten, needs an adult with her EVERY second she is in care.

What happened to you is a perfect example of the kind of danger in having a school aged kid unsupervised.

If these issues occured when you were gone then you also have to look at "is it possible to even leave these kids in someone else's care?" The ten year olds behavior is a clear indication that the adults caring for her MUST be able to handle her. If she has had bad behavior in the past... you have to really THINK about whether or not your business can sustain a substitute caring for her.

Whenever there is LARGE amounts of money involved... it won't take much to blow up a situation. When you let someone get into debt like that you are definitely going to have huge problems. It's always in the parents best interest to call licensing when they owe money. It's a good lesson to NEVER allow anyone to get behind. It's too risky both money wise... but most of all... blow out wise. You are guarnteed to have power issues with them when you are providing services to someone who is SO far in debt. They know they have a LOT of power because of what they owe you. You are more likely to tolerate really bad parent and child behavior in the chase for past due money.

[countrymom]

your first mistake was that you let them get way too far behind on payment
second, how did this girl log into your account and how did she know that the conversation was about her, and how did she call her mother, there seems to be way too much lapse of time here.
you do have your helper to verify your story, so that will is a good thing, by telling your supervisor what kind of children these are will help you too.

[LittleD]

Was this in private messages, or directly on your wall?

[Unregistered]

I agree your first mistake was watching the children after a week or two went by. Secondly its not anyones business what you did on facebook, and most importantly I would have told the mom you never said anything to her child. And I would make that point very clear, and again doesn't matter if the child read your stuff online, thats your personal opinion to someone else. Thats what I would reinforce to anyone, and what I got from your post; and the main issue should be getting money from them. Understand since she is a deadbeat she will USE this issue to avoid payment. *I would send them a second certified letter that if they don't pay by a certain amount of time you will take legal action and file a claim at the civil court whereby they could even be garnish.

Furthermore, you might consider changing you daycare, I personally won't care for children over 4 and only do f/t no before or after school. Also, I would screen the parents and the children much better, and make sure you lock your office and probably in general you need to make changes.

[Crystal]

I find this whole OP to be suspect. Really, just how does a ten year old get your login info, etc?
But, I'll play along.

All your fault. Honestly.

1. The child was left unsupervised, long enough to go unseen logging onto your computer.....it is your job to supervise the children.
2. The money situation never should have gotten so far.
3. YOU, an ADULT, called a TEN YEAR OLD a BITCH.....certainly she shouldn't have been on your computer logging into your FB account (again, your fault) But, knowing you called her that makes me wonder and worry about your working with children at all.

The parent has every right to be agry, to remove her child and IMO not pay you a cent for her notice. Honestly, I don't think you should even pursue the other fees. And, if it were my kid, you'd be the one having your ass handed to you.

[Unregistered]

I'm not really going to try and defend myself, but I am a generally good person and try to supervise every child as best I can. But I'm only human. I parked the 4 school age children on the couch around the corner from my kitchen, so no they were not in my direct eye-sight, but I started a movie they loved and I heard them chatting, so I didn't assume anything was wrong. The 10 year old has a facebook account, so she knows how they work. And my browser is Google Chrome, which uses auto-fill when you have a login page for any site.
As for calling the girl a naughty name, I am ashamed of myself, but I can honestly not think of a single person that hasn't had a lapse in judgement out of frustration. I did apologize profusely, I am so sad that the girl saw it. I treat every child with kindness and respect all the time, but that night I was so angry hearing about all the problems(not a great excuse).
I am so upset that my privacy was breached, and it just shows how disrespectful and conniving this girl is, so I don't think my name-calling was that far off the mark.
She was only $400 behind...the rest of the charges were current. She has 3 kids, and in a 5 week month that's how much the charges were. I don't think I'm out of line charging the late fees and 2 week notice fee, am I? She signed the contract that clearly stated both of those terms.
But my real question is, did I actually violate any rules that would cause my license to be revoked? Because that's what the mom wants, and she swore on my voicemail that she would see my daycare shut down.

[MarinaVanessa]

But my real question is, did I actually violate any rules that would cause my license to be revoked? Because that's what the mom wants, and she swore on my voicemail that she would see my daycare shut down.

DCM is going to bank on the fact that her child was left unsupervised. If she was properly supervised she wouldn't have gotten into your FB. And you wouldn't be here today. That's what the DCM is going to stick to because that's the only thread she has. That's an issue alltogether different than the payment issue.

The issue with DCM about getting you shut down is going to be with licensing. The issue with the money is civil. If you lose the argument with licensing you could still win civily and vise versa. I'm not sure what she's going to "claim" when she makes a complaint but your best hope is that she makes false accusations on top of the whole calling her daughter a foul name and her not being properly supervised and she's found out. Hopefully you can point out that although you've had ill personal feelings towards her daughter that you've always kept it proffesional and hid your feelings. If DCM was aware of how you felt towards her daughter then why would she all of a sudden act shocked and not pull her out immediately as soon as she first found out. If she lies on one thing, she'll lie on other things as well.

Be honest if you are investigated. No one was hurt so if anything you can hope that you'll get a citation but that's all. You'll probably be on licensing's "radar" for a while and may be frequently visited for the "unsupervised" thing but at least you won't get shut-down.

That's my opinion anyway. I don't think that it's anything to be shut-down over but I do think you could be receiving a serious violation. Any one else?

PS: KEEP THE VOICEMAIL and any other form of written communication that she makes with you. If she calls you before you let her say anything and before you talk about anything, tell her the call is being recorded (but I recommend screening her calls and not answering them, let them go to voicemail) and keep a written log of any communication that she makes with you.

[Cat Herder]

did I actually violate any rules that would cause my license to be revoked?

Leaving my personal opinion out of it. It depends on what State you are in.

I would be shut down pending full investigation once it was proven the 10 year old was left unsupervised while in my care. (that is a given in their eyes since she was able to read your private materials & call her mother, who then called in a report)

The whole thing would be posted on the State website for the general public to see, under my full name complete with street address and phone number, permanently.

Even if I was found to be compliant after attending whatever mandatory classes they would require of me PLUS whatever fee I would be required to pay, it would stay on my record, permanently.

[safechner]

I'm not really going to try and defend myself, but I am a generally good person and try to supervise every child as best I can. But I'm only human. I parked the 4 school age children on the couch around the corner from my kitchen, so no they were not in my direct eye-sight, but I started a movie they loved and I heard them chatting, so I didn't assume anything was wrong. The 10 year old has a facebook account, so she knows how they work. And my browser is Google Chrome, which uses auto-fill when you have a login page for any site.
As for calling the girl a naughty name, I am ashamed of myself, but I can honestly not think of a single person that hasn't had a lapse in judgement out of frustration. I did apologize profusely, I am so sad that the girl saw it. I treat every child with kindness and respect all the time, but that night I was so angry hearing about all the problems(not a great excuse).
I am so upset that my privacy was breached, and it just shows how disrespectful and conniving this girl is, so I don't think my name-calling was that far off the mark.
She was only $400 behind...the rest of the charges were current. She has 3 kids, and in a 5 week month that's how much the charges were. I don't think I'm out of line charging the late fees and 2 week notice fee, am I? She signed the contract that clearly stated both of those terms.
But my real question is, did I actually violate any rules that would cause my license to be revoked? Because that's what the mom wants, and she swore on my voicemail that she would see my daycare shut down.

No, they wouldn't shut your daycare down or revoked your license. There are many parents really want daycare shut down because they are angry, making up, owe money, etc... I don't think they have anything proof that you wrote on facebook. I would delete the message that you wrote on your facebook. All you can tell license the truth and they might will write you up or whatever reason. I recommend to lock your computer that no one can access your computer without your permission or unsupervised so it won't happen in the future.

[Meeko]

You WILL get a licensing visit, I am sure. You will probably get written up on supervision issues. However...it is hard for them to shut people down completely. That usually happens with ongoing verified problems.

We had a provider here in my town who duct taped a 3 year old to a pipe in her laundry room and her licensor showed up to do an inspection. She kept her license She got written up, but kept her license. I would have thought that was grounds for instantly revoking her license...but it wasn't.

I would call your licensor. Have her come to your home and sit her down and tell her EXACTLY what happened. Be honest and admit you made a mistake. I think this would go a long way in convincing her that this is not a matter she has to be worried about you repeating. Do not wait! I can pretty much bet on it, that the parents has already called and most likely embellished. Don't wait until licensing show up on the doorstep.

Tell them they are welcome in your day care. Admit you made a mistake (albeit a big one!)

Good luck and hopefully a lesson learned.

[wdmmom]

This child not only had access to a computer that had adult content on it but had access to a phone to call her mom?!

And what were you doing exactly???

[Unregistered]

Reading your post, she is 10 and that is not a age you have to be right on top of her. You could have gone to the bathroom and she could have done that. She could be working on the computer and could have happened. I think your mistake was apologizing because you are taking blame for which I don't think there's any guilt on your part. If it was in private, you are allowed to call her what you want, actually I think you were being kind! You are right she breached your privacy, and what you tell your friends in private is not the child, mother or anyones business. Clearly there are problems with the child and mother, and your best best is standing your ground with this lady and let the inspector know they have been trouble and you believe this is more to do with not paying for services that you DID RENDER. Just make sure you documented everything, and get tough.

You won't lose your license, you had a bad parent/child with money issues who you probably should have let go right away. That was probably the first mistake, however she owes you for services and doesn't matter if the mother is mad because the truth hurt. A decent mother would have really punished the child for hacking into your account, thats whats really scarey and she's not even a teen! So good luck and please don't apologize!

[sharlan]

I agree your first mistake was watching the children after a week or two went by. Secondly its not anyones business what you did on facebook, and most importantly I would have told the mom you never said anything to her child. And I would make that point very clear, and again doesn't matter if the child read your stuff online, thats your personal opinion to someone else. Thats what I would reinforce to anyone, and what I got from your post; and the main issue should be getting money from them. Understand since she is a deadbeat she will USE this issue to avoid payment. *I would send them a second certified letter that if they don't pay by a certain amount of time you will take legal action and file a claim at the civil court whereby they could even be garnish.

Furthermore, you might consider changing you daycare, I personally won't care for children over 4 and only do f/t no before or after school. Also, I would screen the parents and the children much better, and make sure you lock your office and probably in general you need to make changes.

You will find out that is not true. Many people have been fired for what they posted on facebook or other social networks. NEVER, NEVER put ANYTHING in writing that you don't want others to read.

[Unregistered]

Thank you all, that is sort of what I was expecting. The computer was shut OFF, so I don't really consider that making adult content accessible. It happened during the time when I was cleaning up from lunch in the kitchen and putting the toddlers down for a nap in the other room. And the 10 year old girl has a cell phone that she is allowed to call and text on all day long.
With the surveyor, I want to be up front of course, I don't feel like I have anything to hide. My error was human, and my intentions were completely innocent. But should I call her now, wait until she contacts me, write her an email explaining what happened, or just wait and see what happens?