Is It Any Of My Business What Time A Child Goes To Bed?

[nannyde]

How do you get them back down for a nap?? Mine would be so wide awake because of that morning nap. In fact one of mine was still taking a morning nap and I let the parents know I wouldn't do that with my program because they would miss all the activities and then not want to sleep when nap time came. Has only fallen asleep twice in the mornings (not sleep good in the afternoon) and has always played well in the mornings and slept wonderfully in the morning. So how do you get them to fall asleep if they are wide awake from the morning nap?

Never had that problem but I would just shorten the morning nap if I did. Work it out over a couple of weeks to see what works to get the kid the freshest possible for the morning play time and back down for nap at nap time.

[TBird]

I think it's your business if it affects your business, LOL!!!

I've asked about bed times before and suggested that they put their 5 year old to bed by 9PM and take him off of Power Rangers which was making him aggressive. They did just that and I didn't have another problem out of that kid.

[PitterPatter]

Been there and I have been told 2 dif things. 1 was a nasty look like it was none of my business and she said "we have a bedtime routine thank u!" but never gave an actual bedtime.

And the other was with my angry child. Mom admitts that she puts him in his room and turns nick at night on and he just goes to sleep whenever. She said he's usually asleep when she checks on him before she goes to bed at 2am. 1 day she came in and admitted she fell asleep on the couch and woke up at 5am to find him still sitting on the floor watching George Lopez or something. He came in screaming and throwing his shoes at me and slapping DCM in the face. hmmm wonder why?

Bottom line is they usually don't care what u have to say or even how it effects your daycare. In my situations anyway, so I don't ask.

Oh on the flipside, a current client told me not to let the kids sleep longer than 1 hr for the nap because they wont go to bed when they want them to. If I have to I am to wake them up and keep them awake. I don't wake them up! I tried the 1st couple days but I stopped because 1 gets moody and nasty and the other just leans over and goes back to sleep no matter where he is. I didn't ask but they must be trying to put them to bed too early. 1 just turned 2 and the other is 3. My son still napped at 4 yrs old and went to bed at 9.

[cheerfuldom]

I agree, most of the time parents don't care, or at least not enough to change anything. Its your problem (in their view) and thats what they pay you to do so 99% of the time nothing will change. I have just gotten to the point where I either can deal with it or I term them. Sometimes you get lucky and there are parents that are really proactive and communicative about their child but most of them are just too busy to care or too lazy to set any boundaries at home.

[Unregistered]

IMO it is well with in your rights to ask what time a child goes to bed, esp if the lack of sleep effects the behaviour at dc. Infact on my enrollment paper work I ask when the child goes to bed at night. No parent has ever acted like that was a strange question. After midnite? that not enough sleep for sure.
Knowing what time a child goes to bed is very pertinent info. It speaks volumes as to his behaviour etc.
I just found out that my 2 y/o dc boy is no longer napping at home on the weekend b /c the parents dont feel he needs it. Im here to tell you that by the time monday rolls around he is very tired and he has a good nap.

[nannyde]

I think it's your business if it affects your business, LOL!!!

I love that. simple enough

We can easily accomodate kids who are exhausted. I have separate sleeping rooms and they can nap to their little hearts content even when we are in full action play.

I don't discuss bedtimes with the parents very much. They rarely bring it up. If the kid gets ahold of a Dr Pepper and stays up till midnight... well .. it's gonna happen to the BEST of them: (you know who your are

I don't think any of them have any issues with telling their kid to hit the sack when it's bedtime. If they get thrown off schedule because of something odd I just give them a nap before play time.

It's no problem for me to deal with a really tired kid. I can make it work. I only protect afternoon naptime. As long as it doesn't bother nap.... I can deal with it.

I've had parents before who purposely stay up late with their kids. They are the type who want as much face time as possible and want them to get a good chunk of sleep here so they CAN stay up with them. I have had that many times. If the parent is honest and just makes it be known from the go that they want a very rested kid when they pick up then I will do whatever I can to get them four/five hours sleep here so they are able to stay up later at night.

[PitterPatter]

I've had parents before who purposely stay up late with their kids. They are the type who want as much face time as possible and want them to get a good chunk of sleep here so they CAN stay up with them. I have had that many times. If the parent is honest and just makes it be known from the go that they want a very rested kid when they pick up then I will do whatever I can to get them four/five hours sleep here so they are able to stay up later at night.

In THAT case I wouldn't mind so much myself. But around here that's rarely the case.

[JenNJ]

No. It is none of your business.

[Cat Herder]

IMHO, If they are attending my daycare today it is my business.....

I base whether or not they are having a morning nap on whether they had a good night sleep.

I would hate to mistake an overly tired child for a child showing signs of illness causing parents to miss work, IYKWIM??

When their parents pick up it is also their business if they had a good nap at my house...especially if they had dinner plans with Grandma at a local restaurant that evening.... It works both ways.

[JenNJ]

When their parents pick up it is also their business if they had a good nap at my house...especially if they had dinner plans with Grandma at a local restaurant that evening.... It works both ways.

It's their child -- anything having to do with their child is ALWAYS their business. As a daycare provider, you don't have those same rights that a parent has.

As daycare providers, we have NO RIGHT to tell parents how to parent. Unless a provider suspects abuse, I don't see how it is any of your business. If the child is always cranky and tired from lack of sleep, you have the right to terminate, talk with the parents, or give the child extra rest time. But telling someone how to raise their own child is stepping WAY over the line IMO.

[Meyou]

It's in my PH that napping is totally at my discretion. I decided when the babies give up their morning nap and I "control" everything regarding sleep during the day. If I have a cranky kid I put them back to bed too. I always wake them by 10 so they get a good chance to play and be ready for nap again at 1pm.

When I interview I explain all this to the parents and include the information that my 7 year old is also under the nap policy and naps with the kids when she needs it. That usually shuts down any commentary about napping. Obviously if I feel that a 7 year old needs naps sometimes then I feel strongly about each child's sleep cycles.

I have parents walk in and tell me their child had a late night and that they might need a lie down this morning. They know we're busy and every kid has to be rested enough to keep up.

Napping and bedtime are one of my hot button topics. I feel VERY, VERY strongly about children getting the proper rest they need to grow and function.

[Blackcat31]

I have a dcm that I am currently going rounds with about sleeping. I guess I've never been concerned with what time dck's go to bed or get up until now. This dcm asked me not to giver her dd a nap anymore. She said she was having an awful time getting her to bed at night.

I agreed to work with her by shortening her rest time and providing a few more physical activities closer to pick up plus lots of fresh air but was not willing to keep one child up while all the others rested/napped. After a few days of this I started asking mom a bit more info about bedtime and the routine they used. Come to find out the child was put to bed at (6:30 p.m.) which is weird because the child is picked up from care at 5:30 and the mom said she woke her dd at 7:00 which is also odd because child is dropped off at 7:30.

Older brother later filled me in on the fact that both he and younger sister have to nap for 3 hours every Sat. and Sun. so it is all pretty clear now what the issue is. This is a family who attends M-F from open to close and mom only works 9-3 so...

The dcg is 4 and older brother is 5.5.

[daycare]

I think I have one of their siblings.... and DCM and I went rounds too until I told DCM that her Childs behavior was so out of sorts due to lack of sleep that if the child fell asleep, I was NOT going to try to keep her awake...

I think it is our business. How are we supposed to work as a team with these parents helping to support and raise their kids if the parents are not going to work with us?
We can't tell a parent how to do their job and vice versa, but I think that it is fair that we offer advice. Advice about how important sleep is for a child, or how eating candy is not a good source of nutrition for breakfast.

All of us have different programs that we run from our DCs. I run mine like a preschool, so I don't offer napping services in the morning, but I know that some of you guys like Nannyde, can offer that.

I would hate to have to term a family over something so silly as a tired kid, when all I have to do it suggest a plan to make it work. Now if that family chooses not to help work with the plan, then I guess I would have to term over it. But I would not term without trying to resolve the problem first.

[nannyde]

. I run mine like a preschool, so I don't offer napping services in the morning, but I know that some of you guys like Nannyde, can offer that.

They can sleep all day long at my house. I don't have a problem with it. As long as they get up to eat and sleep during nap... we can manage it.

[Unregistered]

I have a challenging nearly 5 year old. his grandma mentioned at drop-off last week that he didn't get to bed until after midnight. today, his mom dropped him off half asleep and he laid on the couch whining and throwing a fit for a half hour before he snapped out of it. the rest of the day has been a challenge.

Should I ask the mom what time he went to bed last night? is it even withing my rights to bring it up and ask that they put him to bed at a reasonable hour, or is that getting too much into their business?

I wouldnt bother. They will either get annoyed that you are questioning their parenting or lie and tell you an earlier time. You could hint that he should go to bed earlier by telling them how tired he is during the day and how he is missing out on things b/c of it.