Rude To Feed Own Kids Dinner While Other Kids Are Present?

[jojosmommy]

Is it out of line to feed my own child dinner when a family has no consistent schedule and often picks up at or after my own child's dinner time?

I have one family still at daycare when my son needs to be fed. Sometimes they pick up at 4, 4:30, 5 and sometimes right at 5:30. There is little logic to when they are picking up at what time and even though I have repeatedly bothered them about it they still can't get their stuff figured out and tell me WHEN they will be picking up. Basically, my son is two and eats at 5:30 everyday. Sometimes we are leaving to go to my husbands softball or swimming lessons or other evening events THE MINUTE the last family picks up. Needless to say my son needs to eat BEFORE we go so I will occassionally (1x per week or so) feed him dinner while the other kids are still here.

Last night the mom picking up invited herself to the table and offered her own kids the food my son was eating. We had somewhere to be right after pick up and I didnt have time to feed her kids or clean up after them. :confused:

Is it wrong to tell a dck they will eat with their own family when they get home while my son is eating? especially since this family has an up and down schedule? I already feed this family breakfast lunch and snack.

[lil angels]

I do this sometimes to except I will have my husband feed my own kids in the house and I will have the dcks outside or something so they can't see.

[cheerfuldom]

We do this. We have an upstairs playroom and anyone still here at dinnertime plays in the playroom while the family eats. They are well within ear shot. I can't schedule my whole life around the DC families without losing my sanity. All of the parents know I do not serve their kids dinner nor would I let a DCM come in and try to help themselves. If it is just one younger kid, I just put them at the table in a booster while we eat. Sometimes they don't care and just hang out, sometimes they get a sippy just to feel that they have something too.

[Kaddidle Care]

Last night the mom picking up invited herself to the table and offered her own kids the food my son was eating. We had somewhere to be right after pick up and I didnt have time to feed her kids or clean up after them. :confused:

Well if it is this family only I wouldn't worry honey. It's clear that they don't know the meaning of the word rude.

I would go about my business and feed my child if you have somewhere to go afterwards.

I work in the Center and we have children that are there for morning care and then go off to Kindergarten in the afternoon. They have to eat early because that's the only time these kids can eat before school.

The others learn that their lunch time is later. Nobody is going hungry. I don't feel it's wrong to let the DC kids know that they will be eating dinner with their Mommy later. Maybe offer them a snack of raw veggies.

But... #1 is to set up a pick up time with the parents.

[PeanutsGalore]

Is it out of line to feed my own child dinner when a family has no consistent schedule and often picks up at or after my own child's dinner time?

I have one family still at daycare when my son needs to be fed. Sometimes they pick up at 4, 4:30, 5 and sometimes right at 5:30. There is little logic to when they are picking up at what time and even though I have repeatedly bothered them about it they still can't get their stuff figured out and tell me WHEN they will be picking up. Basically, my son is two and eats at 5:30 everyday. Sometimes we are leaving to go to my husbands softball or swimming lessons or other evening events THE MINUTE the last family picks up. Needless to say my son needs to eat BEFORE we go so I will occassionally (1x per week or so) feed him dinner while the other kids are still here.

Last night the mom picking up invited herself to the table and offered her own kids the food my son was eating. We had somewhere to be right after pick up and I didnt have time to feed her kids or clean up after them. :confused:

Is it wrong to tell a dck they will eat with their own family when they get home while my son is eating? especially since this family has an up and down schedule? I already feed this family breakfast lunch and snack.

Uhm, no, it's not wrong. It's sad for the child, though.

Is the number of meals/snacks and the pickup time solidified in the contract?

If so, you should be charging late fees and meal fees to cover the additional time, work and supplies this child is costing.

I'd also talk to the mom about helping herself to the food on the dinner table. I think sometimes the home environment makes the parents lose their minds and forget that we have a business arrangement, first and foremost. She's got to understand that pickup time is whatever you have decided it will be, and anything after that costs extra.

If you want to be nice, you can offer to extend the pickup time at night and include an additional meal (dinner) every day so the child doesn't feel left out. All at premium cost, of course.

I give parents a 15 minute cushion so long as they contact me. Anything after that is a dollar/minute.

They get here on time.

[LittleD]

I tell dck's that they will have supper with their parents. Then I tell them my kids didn't get to have a snack at snack time and they are hungry.
I have a family that has picked up as early as 2:30 (wondering why their infant is sleeping) and as late as 5:00. No call, no notice. I keep telling them to let me know when they are coming. I've gotten into the habit of asking "So what time will pick-up be today?"
To help themselves to your food is SO RUDE!!! I would've said Ï'm sorry, I only made enough for MY family.

[Mom_of_two]

It sounds like the problem is their schedule, not your dinner!! I personally would not be ok with the ups and downs. I guess if ou are ok with it, and they are too, then it should not be a big deal? I gotta know when people are leaving. I have it in my handbook that I don't charge late fees- I just won't continue to work with people that are late. I would not like my job if I had to deal with that all the time! I stayed open later once for a family in transition (moving oot) and decided I would not do that again- my family time is too important. If they don't need 7:00-5:00 I am not the provider for them. Keep us posted!

[momofboys]

I find it rude that the family invited themselves to your dinner! How did you handle thaty if you needed to leave??~

I don;t think it is rude though to have to eat without them. I have two school-age boys & this time of year we have a baseball game or practice almost every single evening. In most cases my boys have to be at their warm-up prior to the game by 5:15 (game is at 5:45) & some evenings the DC family I watch does not pick up until 5:30. So yes we all eat prior to the games out of necessity. Otherwise we'd come home at 7:30 & eat dinner & that is too late IMO. We do feed the kids a snack while we eat dinner.

[youretooloud]

I don't think it's rude at all.

I think it's kind of rude of the mom to assume you made enough dinner for three kids instead of one kid. I'll bet she still went home and made them a nice dinner in addition to your dinner.

If you wanted, you could make those kids a piece of butter bread "to hold them over til dinner" while your son eats his dinner.

But, that is only if you really want to... otherwise, YOUR child needs to eat, so you have to feed him before you leave. If the parents of these kids don't want them to see your son eat his dinner, they need to get there earlier so they can go home and feed their own kids. It's your job to feed them two meals and a snack, not supply them with their entire day's nutrition.

[nannyde]

If a kid is here past five they eat here. I don't even give the option for them NOT to eat here. We eat lunch early and have a snack at threeish. If the kid is here past five they need food.

With a schedule like that I would just assume they were going to be here as late as they can be every day and plan to feed them if it was past five.

I can easily feed my kid without the kids knowing it but I can't allow a kid to be hungry in front of me no matter what. (not saying you are doing that .. just saying) At my house the kids are hungry by five. They need a MEAL by that time. So... if they are here they eat whatever we are having for supper. If I have a kid that's normally picked up early... here accidently past five then I will give them my supper and just have a sandwich.

I've never had a parent complain. If they eat "first supper" here then it gives Mom a chance to take it easy to get the family supper ready.

[PeanutsGalore]

If a kid is here past five they eat here. I don't even give the option for them NOT to eat here. We eat lunch early and have a snack at threeish. If the kid is here past five they need food.

With a schedule like that I would just assume they were going to be here as late as they can be every day and plan to feed them if it was past five.

I can easily feed my kid without the kids knowing it but I can't allow a kid to be hungry in front of me no matter what. (not saying you are doing that .. just saying) At my house the kids are hungry by five. They need a MEAL by that time. So... if they are here they eat whatever we are having for supper. If I have a kid that's normally picked up early... here accidently past five then I will give them my supper and just have a sandwich.

I've never had a parent complain. If they eat "first supper" here then it gives Mom a chance to take it easy to get the family supper ready.

Nan, I figured out really quickly that I want the same thing. The lunchtime visits for breastfeeding that turned in to playtime visits or quick walks were so distracting with my last client...derails the whole day. 1 dropoff/pickup per day is going into the contract from now on.

How do you word it, and do parents feel like you are preventing them access to their child?

[Childminder]

We eat dinner here at 6pm. Any child here will sit down and eat with us. If the parent arrives they are welcome to sit and visit while the child finishes or they can/do wrap the plate with plastic wrap and finish at home. Usually they let them finish so they don't have to hurry home and fix them food. I have had parents call ahead and ask that they not eat with us because of a special dinner or whatever. They are counted in my meal count if they are here so I get paid for them to eat if they are 1 second past 6pm.

[CheekyChick]

Dinner

I consider myself the substitute mommy of the children I care for and I would never feed my own children and not my daycare children. In my opinion, that would be cruel. When I have a straggler, which I often do, I set an extra place setting and feed them - just as I do my own children.

[nannyde]

Nan, I figured out really quickly that I want the same thing. The lunchtime visits for breastfeeding that turned in to playtime visits or quick walks were so distracting with my last client...derails the whole day. 1 dropoff/pickup per day is going into the contract from now on.

How do you word it, and do parents feel like you are preventing them access to their child?

I don't have a way to word it. I just explain it in the interview process. If the parent or child needs more than one arrival and one departure per day they just don't pick me.

I would NEVER deny access to a parent. When they come when their kid is in the house they take the child with them. They don't come back until the next day of day care.

I do make exceptions for specialty medical appointments. Regular doc appointments are either before day care or after day care.

[nannyde]

Nan, I figured out really quickly that I want the same thing. The lunchtime visits for breastfeeding that turned in to playtime visits or quick walks were so distracting with my last client...derails the whole day. 1 dropoff/pickup per day is going into the contract from now on.

How do you word it, and do parents feel like you are preventing them access to their child?

I don't have a way to word it. I just explain it in the interview process. If the parent or child needs more than one arrival and one departure per day they just don't pick me.

I would NEVER deny access to a parent. When they come when their kid is in the house they take the child with them. They don't come back until the next day of day care.

I do make exceptions for specialty medical appointments. Regular doc appointments are either before day care or after day care.

I've read about providers having parents coming in and visiting in the morning... coming during the day and breast feeding and visiting... staying after care and hanging out.... dropping in unnanounced and hanging out with the daycare kids.... the kids doing really well with the adults coming in and out and the provider really enjoying it and wanting it. I'm just not one of those people.

If a parent wants that they just don't pick me. If they find they want it after they have been here for a while they find different care.

I like low traffic, reasonably quick arrivals and departures, and little to no chaos. That's what works in my setting.