Can I Do Anything Other Than Terminate?

[Blackcat31]

Well, that didn't go well 🤦🏻*♀️ but ITS DONE happyface

Yay!!! Hoping the relief is super enjoyable!!

Now you just need to make it through the next two weeks.

Hopefully mom behaves. ::

[springv]

We had a REALLY bad termination about 4 years ago. I wish our director would have done what ya'll suggested and just written a note and put it into a sealed envelope and told the parent to read it later.

[Josiegirl]

I'm glad for you that it's over and done with but sorry it didn't go well. I'm sure when parents hear it, it's such a shock(usually) that their first reaction is a knee-jerk reaction. But at least now, the stress will be lessened for you!

[AmyKidsCo]

Sorry it didn't go well, but when I read "I'm pretty miserable" it was an obvious sign that it was time for them to go.

It is hard to terminate. So far I haven't been able to - I always talked myself into hanging in there until the family leaves on their own. I have really good families right now, but I think I'm finally at a point that I could terminate if I wasn't happy.

[e.j.]

I did not listen to my body.I had a very difficult group one child in particular.She cried constantly and didn't nap well.She would set the tone for the day .Others started crying when she started.I kept saying oh it'll get better then the youngest infant cried whenever he was put down.I did tell the parents that things needed to change.They were no help.Finnally that Feb .I actually had a heart attack.The stress of each day ws to much.I ended up retiring earlier than I wanted .I can't help thinking if I had just terminated the first child things would have worked out.My advice would be to give 2 weeks notice and if no improvement call it.I was close to retirement but you may want to work longer your health is important.

I have a very stressful group right now including an infant that sounds just like the one you described. I can't put her down without her screaming as though she's being tortured and like you said, that sets off the rest of the group - which doesn't need much help to be set off! In terms of behavior, it's the toughest group overall that I've had since I started doing day care. Lately, it feels like all I'm doing is running back and forth trying to put out fires that just keep re-igniting! You've been in my thoughts a lot these days! I've often wondered if you felt the stress of the job contributed to your heart attack and I've also wondered if I'm making a mistake trying to tough some of this stuff out. You've given me something to think about for sure.

[e.j.]

Well, that didn't go well 🤦🏻*♀️ but ITS DONE happyface

I'm sorry the termination didn't go well but hopefully things will only get better once they're gone.:hug:

[rosieteddy]

e.j I definitely feel the stress helped push towards the heart attack.It was a very hard winter as well.We had so much snow outdoor walks and play were impossible. The two main criers were constantly fussy ,one had actually been on probation.It was the perfect storm stress,long days and crying babies.Sometimes I wished I had cut down enrollment .Maybe that would have made a difference .Each of us need to know when to call it .It is hard we become attached ,we need the income and caring for children often is who we are.Its hard to know whats best.

[e.j.]

Each of us need to know when to call it .It is hard we become attached ,we need the income and caring for children often is who we are.Its hard to know whats best.

So true. All of my kids right now are 2 1/2 and under except for the school agers that come now and then when they don't have school. The older kids are wonderful but the youngers ones are keeping me hopping. I keep thinking I just need to hang in there until they turn 3. Usually it gets better from there.

[MamaG2903]

Let's just say, both kids are making it so I WON'T miss them 😂 Lord give me strength

[knoxmomof2]

So what happened with giving notice?

I'm working out a 2 week notice and am ready for it to be OVER. I just want normalcy and happiness around here again. The good thing about situations like these are they are great teaching moments about what not to allow or accept in the future!

I don't know for sure that I could've given notice after the incident with the bunny. Deliberate physical harm to one of my animals? Bye, right now!!! I've had impulsive kids that weren't allowed anywhere near my dogs (as in, don't even look at them.... Lol) but man that would not fly with me.

[MamaG2903]

So what happened with giving notice?

I'm working out a 2 week notice and am ready for it to be OVER. I just want normalcy and happiness around here again. The good thing about situations like these are they are great teaching moments about what not to allow or accept in the future!

I don't know for sure that I could've given notice after the incident with the bunny. Deliberate physical harm to one of my animals? Bye, right now!!! I've had impulsive kids that weren't allowed anywhere near my dogs (as in, don't even look at them.... Lol) but man that would not fly with me.

Trust me, I considered immediate termination. I have too much empathy I swear.

I told her that I was giving her two weeks notice and she acted completely flabbergasted. Asked me if this was a joke... Umm, no. I have a hard time believing that she's in that deep of denial about how her children behave, but whatever. Then she was pissed because "there's only 6 more weeks until summer break" and she's a teacher, and she said "well what if I can't find someone else" etc. I said simply "I have to do what is best for my health, my family and my daycare so this is your notice. You have 2 weeks to find alternate care. If there is any more violence towards my animals or another kid, I will terminate immediately. I wrote up a whole list of people and agencies to call, so I suggest you start calling" and that was that! Basically, she tried to get pissy with me and act like I was inconveniencing her and I just had the OH WELL, not my problem attitude right back. Because I'm making it no longer my problem.

Termination is hard, no matter how you do it. There will most likely be push back and the parent will be angry, but all you can do is hold your own. I always feel okay with terming because I know that I do more than most to try to avoid it... So I'm REALLY at the end of my rope if I'm terminating.

This is now my 5th or 6th termination in 10 years. Most were just for inconsistent or non-payment. A few were behavior related. It gets easier over time, but I still always dread the conversation.

Honestly, this DCM is extremely self-absorbed and makes me feel like I only exist for her to use me as needed. And I'm not okay with being treated like that, and the abhorrent behavior of her toddler and neurotic nature of her preschooler just sealed the deal for me. GIRL BYE!

[Firefly]

It’s her problem now. Good for you! And yeah, kicking one of my pets would have been the last straw.

[Josiegirl]

Good for you MamaG!!!!

[MamaG2903]

Good for you MamaG!!!!

happyface

[MamaG2903]

Mom now wants to argue with me on the deposit for last two weeks of care 🙄 she's not staying for the full two weeks and wants a refund. Yeah, no, that's not how this works and maybe you should read your contract next time!

Let this be a cautionary tale - daycare parents will always do what is best for them, even at your expense, so we need to do the same! I'm so guilty of having more empathy than most, and while I had every right to terminate immediately after the toddler punted my rabbit across the room, but I gave 2 weeks notice to help them have more time to find alternate care. However, mom is more than happy to screw me out of $275 by pulling them a week early! THIS is why we all need to have contracts in place and charge deposits! We also need to have more backbone when dealing with daycare parents... Myself included!