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Can I Do Anything Other Than Terminate?

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  • Can I Do Anything Other Than Terminate?

    I've been doing daycare for about 10 years and stick to 2 toddlers and then get kids on and off the bus, because I prefer to be legally unlicensed. So my turnover is pretty regular due to kids going to school full time, every few years. I don't know why, but it seems that every new pair of toddlers are more spoiled and indulged than the last!

    Right now I have a pair of sisters - one just turned 2, the other is in half day Pre-K. They are SO high maintenance and their mother just gives in to every demand. "Paige wouldn't let me do her hair" and "Ava said she needs to nap in pajamas" and "Paige wouldn't let me xyz" and "Ava doesn't think she needs a nap" and so on. I've had them for just the past school year, because mom is a teacher. It seems like every day brings a new demand, from stuffed animals (I don't allow them to bring toys from home, as you ALL know how that goes &#128580 to "I'm early because Paige wanted to come" and so on. I just want to scream at this woman, THEY ARE 2 AND 4! BE A PARENT!! I've tried gently to tell her to be more assertive - the toddler lets me do her hair just fine, and no, your child doesn't need to put on pajamas to nap. Mom just has no interest in doing anything but indulging her divas, and I'm so tired of it. The toddler is a total bully with the other toddler I watch, because she's the Queen at home. The preschooler gives me grief every day about nap, but her mom wants her to nap and basically makes me the bad guy about it.

    Do I have any choice but to terminate at this point? I'm pretty miserable - the end of day report where I tell her that her toddler is a terrorist is ALWAYS met with "oh she's tired today/oh she doesn't do that at home" or whatever other excuse. I hate to terminate but I feel like I don't really have much of a choice anymore - mom doesn't seem to want to work with me on anything, and is perfectly content to let me be the heavy while she gives into everything. Any advice, or am I wasting my time trying to salvage this? You can tell me 😂

    I was hoping to hold out until next month when school ends, so that I can terminate and then she will have the whole summer to find someone else. But I have Fibromyalgia, I'm stressed all day every day which causes my symptoms to flare, and I'm so exhausted. I just know how hard it is to find care in this area and I feel bad 🤦🏻*♀️

  • #2
    Originally posted by MamaG2903 View Post
    I've been doing daycare for about 10 years and stick to 2 toddlers and then get kids on and off the bus, because I prefer to be legally unlicensed. So my turnover is pretty regular due to kids going to school full time, every few years. I don't know why, but it seems that every new pair of toddlers are more spoiled and indulged than the last!

    Right now I have a pair of sisters - one just turned 2, the other is in half day Pre-K. They are SO high maintenance and their mother just gives in to every demand. "Paige wouldn't let me do her hair" and "Ava said she needs to nap in pajamas" and "Paige wouldn't let me xyz" and "Ava doesn't think she needs a nap" and so on. I've had them for just the past school year, because mom is a teacher. It seems like every day brings a new demand, from stuffed animals (I don't allow them to bring toys from home, as you ALL know how that goes &#128580 to "I'm early because Paige wanted to come" and so on. I just want to scream at this woman, THEY ARE 2 AND 4! BE A PARENT!! I've tried gently to tell her to be more assertive - the toddler lets me do her hair just fine, and no, your child doesn't need to put on pajamas to nap. Mom just has no interest in doing anything but indulging her divas, and I'm so tired of it. The toddler is a total bully with the other toddler I watch, because she's the Queen at home. The preschooler gives me grief every day about nap, but her mom wants her to nap and basically makes me the bad guy about it.

    Do I have any choice but to terminate at this point? I'm pretty miserable - the end of day report where I tell her that her toddler is a terrorist is ALWAYS met with "oh she's tired today/oh she doesn't do that at home" or whatever other excuse. I hate to terminate but I feel like I don't really have much of a choice anymore - mom doesn't seem to want to work with me on anything, and is perfectly content to let me be the heavy while she gives into everything. Any advice, or am I wasting my time trying to salvage this? You can tell me 😂

    I was hoping to hold out until next month when school ends, so that I can terminate and then she will have the whole summer to find someone else. But I have Fibromyalgia, I'm stressed all day every day which causes my symptoms to flare, and I'm so exhausted. I just know how hard it is to find care in this area and I feel bad 🤦🏻*♀️
    I think you already know the answer.


    :hug: :hug:

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    • #3
      As hard as it is to give notice, I agree with BC, especially when it comes to our own health. If you have a family that isn't willing to acknowledge there are issues you need to both work on together to fix, then nothing will ever change. You'll be more stressed and you'll get sicker.
      Maybe give her 2 weeks to get it together and tell her if there's no improvement, she'll have to find other care. Your health and sanity depends on it. Good luck!!!

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Blackcat31 View Post
        I think you already know the answer.


        :hug: :hug:
        Thank you! I take termination super seriously so I always second-guess myself when I think it might be time!

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Josiegirl View Post
          As hard as it is to give notice, I agree with BC, especially when it comes to our own health. If you have a family that isn't willing to acknowledge there are issues you need to both work on together to fix, then nothing will ever change. You'll be more stressed and you'll get sicker.
          Maybe give her 2 weeks to get it together and tell her if there's no improvement, she'll have to find other care. Your health and sanity depends on it. Good luck!!!
          Thank you! I'm terrible about putting myself first but yes, it feels like it's time to face the music. I've been waffling on it for the last week or so because I'm ridiculous and worry they won't be able to find care elsewhere... Even though clearly that's not my problem! I'm too empathetic for my own good most of the time 😶

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          • #6
            I was in this same predicament last year. I had to term. It was just too much and I started to resent the parents. I took my time choosing better families to work with. Currently my situation is way better. Not perfect but the kids in my care have parents that try. Good luck to you!

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            • #7
              I did not listen to my body.I had a very difficult group one child in particular.She cried constantly and didn't nap well.She would set the tone for the day .Others started crying when she started.I kept saying oh it'll get better then the youngest infant cried whenever he was put down.I did tell the parents that things needed to change.They were no help.Finnally that Feb .I actually had a heart attack.The stress of each day ws to much.I ended up retiring earlier than I wanted .I can't help thinking if I had just terminated the first child things would have worked out.My advice would be to give 2 weeks notice and if no improvement call it.I was close to retirement but you may want to work longer your health is important.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by rosieteddy View Post
                I did not listen to my body.I had a very difficult group one child in particular.She cried constantly and didn't nap well.She would set the tone for the day .Others started crying when she started.I kept saying oh it'll get better then the youngest infant cried whenever he was put down.I did tell the parents that things needed to change.They were no help.Finnally that Feb .I actually had a heart attack.The stress of each day ws to much.I ended up retiring earlier than I wanted .I can't help thinking if I had just terminated the first child things would have worked out.My advice would be to give 2 weeks notice and if no improvement call it.I was close to retirement but you may want to work longer your health is important.
                Holy cow, I am SO sorry! A heart attack! I have had now two stress-induced non-epileptic seizures this year and my doctor has been pushing me to cut back but man, it's so hard!

                I did just type and print up their "walking papers". After this post, the toddler kicked my poor sweet house rabbit because I put her in time out, and then when I told Mom what an awful day we were having, she told me she got out of work and was going to walk the dog and pick up at normal time. SO, that was my breaking point. I'm giving them 2 weeks notice with the caveat that if any violence against my animals happens again, termination will be immediate. Now I internally spazz out until 3:30 when I get to break the news. Agh, this job!!

                Comment


                • #9
                  Originally posted by Valerie928 View Post
                  I was in this same predicament last year. I had to term. It was just too much and I started to resent the parents. I took my time choosing better families to work with. Currently my situation is way better. Not perfect but the kids in my care have parents that try. Good luck to you!
                  It's one of the hardest parts about this job! I'm super selective about who I'll take, given that I can only take 2 full timers - man, this family really snowed me over! I've hung in there for 9 months with them but it's gotten drastically bad in the last 2 months for some reason. I've decided not to even replace these two and stick with one fulltimer and the 2 before and after schoolers. I'm working towards closing all together but I'm not quite ready yet!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I think you are doing the right thing. You will feel so relieved once they are gone. There is only so much you can do when parents won’t cooperate. I hope your rabbit is ok.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Originally posted by MamaG2903 View Post


                      Holy cow, I am SO sorry! A heart attack! I have had now two stress-induced non-epileptic seizures this year and my doctor has been pushing me to cut back but man, it's so hard!

                      I did just type and print up their "walking papers". After this post, the toddler kicked my poor sweet house rabbit because I put her in time out, and then when I told Mom what an awful day we were having, she told me she got out of work and was going to walk the dog and pick up at normal time. SO, that was my breaking point. I'm giving them 2 weeks notice with the caveat that if any violence against my animals happens again, termination will be immediate. Now I internally spazz out until 3:30 when I get to break the news. Agh, this job!!
                      Oh no! I hope your rabbit is okay! Poor thing!


                      As for having to break the news.... that is hard.
                      Something that helps me when I don't want to do that part or atleast avoid the drama is that I write up the notice and put it in a sealed envelope.

                      At pick up, I hand it to the parent and say "This is for you. I don't really want to discuss it in front of the kids so please read it when you get home and if you have any questions, please feel free to email me. Thank you!"

                      If the parent asks what it is or starts to open it right away, I just say "Susan, please read the info at home. I will not discuss this issue right now. Have a great night!" and then turn around and walk away from them.

                      Good luck! It's hard right now (during the day) but once it's over and you've shared the news with them, you will feel soooooo relieved!!! happyface

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                      • #12
                        I also would do the sealed envelope.Trying to have that conversation in front of the children and or other parents is not right for you. I think once you get through pick-up you will feel much relief.I hope it goes well ,this is one of the hardest things of this job.Enjoy your weekend.

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                        • #13
                          Luckily, I'm NOT afraid of confrontation at all 😂 but I did have my husband come home from work a few hours early to help wrangle the kids! While I'm a bleeding heart, I have a steel backbone once I've made my mind up!

                          Pepper the bunny is a rescue and has some special needs, so I was SO scared but luckily she seems to be acting fine today!

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                          • #14
                            Originally posted by MamaG2903 View Post
                            Pepper the bunny is a rescue and has some special needs, so I was SO scared but luckily she seems to be acting fine today!
                            Oh so good to hear!

                            Originally posted by MamaG2903 View Post
                            Luckily, I'm NOT afraid of confrontation at all 😂 but I did have my husband come home from work a few hours early to help wrangle the kids! While I'm a bleeding heart, I have a steel backbone once I've made my mind up!
                            Awesome!

                            You are probably the first person to say that.....

                            I rarely look at anything in this line of work as confrontational but it seems a lot of others do so I am always prepared to offer an alternative suggestion or advice to avoid what feels confrontational for them.

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                            • #15
                              Originally posted by Blackcat31 View Post
                              Oh so good to hear!



                              Awesome!

                              You are probably the first person to say that.....

                              I rarely look at anything in this line of work as confrontational but it seems a lot of others do so I am always prepared to offer an alternative suggestion or advice to avoid what feels confrontational for them.
                              Well, that didn't go well 🤦🏻*♀️ but ITS DONE happyface

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