DCD Followed Me to My Bedroom

[Core12]

I run an inhome daycare with my mother in our home. We have nine kids under three years old (one is my nephew).
Recently, a dcd came to pick up his son early unannounced during nap time. No apology, child did not have any appointments...basically dcd just smiled and didn’t say much. I explained that his 1 year old was napping and I would go and get him and he followed me all of the way into my bedroom! I had 2 other babies in my room sleeping in Pack n Plays. I felt like he was checking up on me and also I felt like he wanted to see that his kid was sleeping and not just crying bc they have such issues with him sleeping at night (bc they sleep w/him).
Now I wish I would have had a predetermined answer and said, “wait right here,” however, I also feel like these young parents think that it’s part of the deal for a home daycare to give up their privacy.
I’m hurt more than anything because I truly believe, “we teach ppl how to treat us” and apparently I need to show myself more self respect. I just did not want him to think I was up to no good by not allowing him into my bedroom.

[Josiegirl]

I think, in this day and age and with media shouting out all the evils of home dc a parent cannot be too careful. BUT this is our home and we do deserve privacy. Maybe it's time for a generic newsletter home, regarding that very issue and access to other's children, etc.
I have nothing against parents showing up, unannounced. And I would have nothing against a parent following me to where their child is sleeping. BUT I can certainly understand why anybody would have issues. Trust is so important in this business but it's also a wonder any of us can gain a parent's trust with media spouting off only the worst stuff.
JMO and we're all different.

[Annalee]

I have a foyer before entering my large room and I have a dcd that used to do this. Dcg has been here three years now. Some parents you just have to "tell". I don't assume anymore the parents will do the right thing. DCG3 always wants to run back when dcd picks up but I just say "NO, we do not do that". It is possible there was no "reason" at all with your dcd but you just need to TELL him "NO, wait for me".

[Cat Herder]

There have been a lot of news stories lately of providers doing shady things to attempt to force naps. Tying kids up, leaving them unsupervised behind closed doors, strapping them in unsafe confinement equipment, drugging them etc.

I would not take it personally. :hug: If it happened again I'd just ask what his concerns were to open discussion.

[LittleExplorers]

I would be open and talk with them. Good relationships with daycare families are so important. Like someone said, there are so many bad media reports and especially with a child not old enough to talk, it is somewhat understandable. Especially a parent who is over tired, possibly stressed and wondering how you get your sleep magic. :hug:

[Blackcat31]

I understand it's your home but to parents, it's just where their kids are and in most states any area or room you use for child care is required to be accessible to parents.

Also like Cat Herder mentioned, with the media stories etc as of late, parents are more aware of where their kids are in all aspects of the day.

I wouldn't take it personally. Sadly it's just part of operating a business within your home.

[Jupadia]

Personally I would not love to have a parent follow me, I would if a parent shows up at nap ask them to wait by the door, while I go get their child. But would also fully understand why they might wish to come with and see where and how child is napping. Personally I use my playroom / daycareroom for naps. Unless they are in pack n play and take 2 naps still then they sleep in my movie / family room (next door to playroom).
As a parent I get it they want to make sure all is good, as a daycare provider I would have problems if it was a repeated behaviour and explain to parent that pickups at nap can wake other kids and it's not fair to them.

[MyAngels]

I've had this happen. I personally think it's just cluelessness on the part of the parent. Whenever anyone picks up during nap now I say, "since other children are sleeping, wait here and I will get your child." Sometimes you just have to tell them what's expected and it's not a problem after that.

[Unregistered]

I think being followed by a man into my room in my home is unacceptable. They have no business doing that. Yes, you hear horror stories about daycares but what about the stories of men harming women? All my parents wait in the doorway entrance. Nobody is allowed to just go about my home. All parents are given a full tour of my home including where their child will nap during the interview. If I am not trusted and you try to follow me I would term. Trust is everything.

[hwichlaz]

You can think it's unacceptable all you like. However, he has the legal right to see his child IN THE ROOM his child is occupying.

I'd have followed you too.

I don't want parents in my room, so I don't nap their children in there.

I'm betting it doesn't happen again, that they just saw recent news stories and wanted to do a little spot check.

[hwichlaz]

I think being followed by a man into my room in my home is unacceptable. They have no business doing that. Yes, you hear horror stories about daycares but what about the stories of men harming women? All my parents wait in the doorway entrance. Nobody is allowed to just go about my home. All parents are given a full tour of my home including where their child will nap during the interview. If I am not trusted and you try to follow me I would term. Trust is everything.

If you didn't allow me to see exactly where and how you are keeping my child when I show up, I'd report you to DHS.

[ColorfulSunburst]

You can think it's unacceptable all you like. However, he has the legal right to see his child IN THE ROOM his child is occupying.

I'd have followed you too.

I don't want parents in my room, so I don't nap their children there.

I totally agree.

[ColorfulSunburst]

I think being followed by a man into my room in my home is unacceptable.

it is not your bedroom during business hours and if kids are there.

[Ariana]

There have been a lot of news stories lately of providers doing shady things to attempt to force naps. Tying kids up, leaving them unsupervised behind closed doors, strapping them in unsafe confinement equipment, drugging them etc.

I would not take it personally. :hug: If it happened again I'd just ask what his concerns were to open discussion.

Agree with this! I would err on the side of compassion for dad worried about his child and pat myself on the back for being one of the good ones with nothing to hide!
:hug:

[Unregistered]

If you didn't allow me to see exactly where and how you are keeping my child when I show up, I'd report you to DHS.

Yay, good for you