Picky Kid Won't EAT!! About to Term

[Blackcat31]

I have the kids sit at the table until everyone is done for two reasons:

1. Good manners
2. If one child leaves to play, the other kids tend to follow even if they aren't done eating. If they all sit together to finish the meal, even the kids who initially wouldn't eat anything might pick at their meal or even eat a good part of it. I WANT them to eat it because I want to instill good eating habits and want them to learn to like vegetables and other things that they might not eat at home (I have one parent who doesn't buy ANY vegetables for their home because none of the 5 members of their family will eat them-he DOES eat them here, especially broccoli, cauliflower, and green beans).

Thank you for your reply....

I am genuinely curious about this "practice" as I allow kids to leave the table for what I feel are the same reasons. ::

1. Manners ~ Leave if you are not actively participating in the current activity. (I think requiring a child to sit when they don't want to creates other issues).

2. If one child leaves to go lay down, the other kids tend to focus more on eating. They don't want to go lay down.
All my kiddos eat fantastic! I think because we don't allow unnecessary food drama at the table.

I have several families that don't buy veggies because the parents don't like veggies too! But oddly, their children are the biggest veggie eaters here. Favorites here are odd ones too....pepper strips, broccoli, asparagus, beets, snow peas etc.

I guess it's a perfect example of how different approaches can net the same results. Nice!

[Annalee]

Nap is directly after lunch here, too, after washing hands and pottying, so some will actually eat slow to avoid the nap::

[Pestle]

2. If one child leaves to play, the other kids tend to follow even if they aren't done eating.

This.

[MarinaVanessa]

2. If one child leaves to play, the other kids tend to follow even if they aren't done eating.

If you have play time after lunchtime or another activity then for sure the kids would pick playing over eating.
My schedule has nap immediately after lunch also so for me giving them the option to move on to nap after lunch works.

If my routine was different maybe it wouldn't for me as well.

[NiNi.R.]

I wouldn't give choices. He gets what you make, no special requests. If you have to, put one bite of each item on his plate so there is less waste. If he eats it and he wants more than that, then he can. If he doesn't want to eat, let him up.

Here they ask to be excused. Before they can do anything they must first clear their places, wash their hands and face, make their beds, then they may pick a quiet activity. However, by the time the first kid who got up from the table completes that, the last kid eating is finishing up.

Maybe if you let him up, you can give him a few uneventful things to do that the others won't feel like they are missing out on.

[AmyKidsCo]

I'm in the "I don't care" camp.

I have a 2.5 yr old who didn't eat a single thing her first whole month here. She drank her milk and that's it. Now she eats some things but is still VERY picky and sometimes goes a whole day without eating anything.

I NEVER comment on what she does or doesn't eat. I give her a bare minimum of food to avoid wasting too much - no alternatives. If she does eat something and asks for seconds I give her seconds, even if she didn't eat anything else (same rule as everyone). No one gets thirds unless their plate is clean. I give her the Food Program minimum requirement of milk, then 3-4 oz water so she doesn't fill up on liquids.

I think the lack of power struggle makes a difference because she does try some new things when she thinks I'm not looking. Most of the time she spits them out, but I don't say anything, not even "Good job!" for trying something new.

[Cat Herder]

We go to the playground after lunch to burn off energy and allow time for digestion before potty time. Limits those naptime accidents and they sleep well.

We eat in the dining room. "Go play toys" occurs in the playroom that they just left after 45 minutes of free play. They are over it and it removes their audience. ::

I have great eaters and the occasional moody 3-6 year olds that need reminding I am immune to tantrums.

[Alwaysgreener]

I have the kids sit at the table until everyone is done for two reasons:

1. Good manners
2. If one child leaves to play, the other kids tend to follow even if they aren't done eating. If they all sit together to finish the meal, even the kids who initially wouldn't eat anything might pick at their meal or even eat a good part of it. I WANT them to eat it because I want to instill good eating habits and want them to learn to like vegetables and other things that they might not eat at home (I have one parent who doesn't buy ANY vegetables for their home because none of the 5 members of their family will eat them-he DOES eat them here, especially broccoli, cauliflower, and green beans).

This plus I would not be able to supervise her properly and we go outside after lunch.

[Jdy2222]

All the kids remain seated together until the end of the meal here as well.

If you're finished that's fine, make pleasant conversation (I had a picky eater visiting this week ... he made conversation about how much he didn't like the food ... not quite what I was going for, but he was as pleasant as could be about it). Don't want to eat? No problem, sit and chat.

My family has always eaten meals together and remained at the table until the end so I guess it's just normal to me and I prefer it, I can't imagine not doing it this way, and it always catches me off guard when a new child starts and expects to get up when they're finished eating.

I do not base the menu around the kids preferences, for the most part. The exception is if someone really likes something I like to make - then I'll definitely serve that when they're here. And I often wait until the meal has begun to serve their milk - that way they'll eat before filling up on milk.

[getnsmart]

Alot of kids don't eat because the parents feed alot if junk food. Just do your best, present it and move on.

[Alwaysgreener]

Same boat here. Dcg8 will not eat anything. I have a rule, if you don't want it don't touch it.

Update - dcg8 is back in school now, on her last day here, she didn't touch her lunch. It was ham, potatoes, green beans and bread. Dcb2 was eating just fine but she keep telling him how to eat and what to eat but she didn't even try her food. At some point during the meal she asked for pb for her bread. I told her pb was not on the menu.
Later at last snack, she saw that I was serving yogurt and asked that I not because she doesn't like yogurt. I said sorry it is what is on the menu for today. She then was saying that she was hungry and started to beg, I got out wheat thins (which she has refused to eat before) and served them. She says I guess I will have to eat them. She asked for more, but it is a snack and I only served one serving.
(BTW it was dcb first day back after summer break and he knew he would eat everything I served that day, it was my way of celebrating his return and her departure)

[Silly Songs]

St our center, we try to have everyone stay at the table until we call that table to go throw out their trash. Obviously it doesn’t really work that well with the 2 year olds. But we all sit together and have our meal. Then it’s hand washing/ bathroom/ diaper change. They all know the routine. I cannot force anyone to sit at the table, but it’s not fun to get up when all your friends are at the table. We turn some of the toy shelves around to face the wall during lunch so there are less temptations, plus cots go near them. Anyway, we encourage everyone to sit until mealtime is done.

[Unregistered]

I just serve the food, tell them what all it is, and that's it. I don't engage in a food power struggle as that just causes more issues. If they say they don't want it, I just say "Ok, well we aren't eating again until (lunch)." And that's about it. Anything else is working against you.