Picky Kid Won't EAT!! About to Term

[mamamanda]

My own ds stresses me out at times over food. He legitimately has spd which is a huge factor in his "pickiness" and certain textures actually make him vomit so it's not just an I don't like it thing. But he also plays it at times & wants special. He informed me that he wanted fast food a couple days ago b& I told him no. We've explained to him that we're cutting way back on fast food both to save money & make healthier choices. He said he'd starve for 200 days before eating something I made at our house.

I said "Suit yourself, but stay out of the snack drawer." And that was that. No fighting, no nagging. Guess who was starving & ate the biggest meal of their life that evening. And he ate the lunch I offered him w/o issue the following day.

I think when they know we're upset about it it gives them power. I'd serve your food & not say a thing about it. You don't like it, suit yourself...and go on with your day. He'll either eat it, or he won't & his parents will fight that battle at home. It's so not worth the stress of worrying over it.

[Josiegirl]

I think when they know we're upset about it it gives them power.

This is so true about almost everything when you deal with kids!!!

[Annalee]

If this kid nursed all night he probably didn't need to drink much during the day as most calories were covered at night. I nursed my kid at night until I got sick of it around 9 mo. And kicked him out of my bed :: he didn't nurse much during the day at all ...then we switched to formula anyway. But he did eat food really well and water. I wouldn't be a fan of a parent doing what I did either. I needed to do it because honestly it is so hard to run a daycare alone and nurse during the day! I am responsible for my kids 24-7 (with their dad on evenings and weekends thank God!) so I didn't burden someone else with our "habits"

The problem wasn't the nursing, it was that he cried ALL DAY. He was fine for about an hour when he arrived but once he started wanting to nurse for milk he screamed and cried and NEVER SLEPT. I called them EVERY DAY for pickup. So glad that is over!

[Unregistered]

I once had a 6 month old, bottle-fed infant girl. On her first day I cradled her to feed her. She took one look at me and wailed. That day she wailed for each subsequent bottle feeding until hunger won out. She drank about 3 ounces and was done. It was a start.

I once had a 3 year old boy whose mother warned me that her son wouldn't eat anything while he was in daycare. She was right. He only drank milk. I offered him small amounts of food, but he never took a bite. I would smile and take his plate away when lunch time was over.

I once had an 8 year old boy that only ate organic foods and never drank milk at home. He would point out that humans were probably the own species that regularly drank the milk of another species and all those hormones etc were bad for him. No argument there. Over the next 3 years he tried milk, and non-organic casseroles. Sometimes kids are afraid.

It's all what they're used to at home.

[happymom]

My son does not eat much/well either. He is extremely small for his age, too (skinny AND short).

I might be an awful mom but I choose not to make it an issue. This is one thing my husband and I don't see 100% eye to eye on....I work hard making our meals and I want to enjoy the time with our family and not focus on forcing him to eat.

If he's hungry later, I remind him that he didn't eat whatever it was he was served.

[Leigh]

My son does not eat much/well either. He is extremely small for his age, too (skinny AND short).

I might be an awful mom but I choose not to make it an issue. This is one thing my husband and I don't see 100% eye to eye on....I work hard making our meals and I want to enjoy the time with our family and not focus on forcing him to eat.

If he's hungry later, I remind him that he didn't eat whatever it was he was served.

Not an awful mom at all! You made him the meal, it's up to him whether he eats it. Aside from forcing it in his mouth, you've done all you can.

[Pestle]

Everybody gets the same food. This isn't Burger King. There's a ton of variety on the plate. Don't like it? You still need to stay at the table, like a civilized human being, so the other kids don't pop up and start running around with you.

I have an occasional drop-in who doesn't eat here OR at home. He's sturdy so Mom and I aren't worried. The food was offered.

[Alwaysgreener]

Same boat here. Dcg8 will not eat anything. I have a rule, if you don't want it don't touch it. (This is for the kids that take the food they don't like off their plates)
When she started, DCM told me somethings the dcg liked nuggets, pasta, pizza..... So I served shaped pasta and cheese, she doesn't like the shape, pasta and spaghetti sauce, she only eats it with meat balls, nuggets she only eats with maynoise (which we don't currently have) shell pasta and cheese, she only eats it with chicken.... So I make pizza every kid likes pizza..... Nope before she sits down she is already saying she doesn't like..... I told her I don't care, she knows the rules, she must sit until everybody is done. She says she is waiting for it to cool, I respond others are eating so it must be cooled. She pushes the plate away saying she is not hungry. I take the plate and tell her that I do not wait to hear her ask when the next meal is or that she is hungry over and over like she had been doing before the meal. She then cries saying she is hungry. I told her that if she wants to eat she can, she can get her plate off the counter
but to stop lieing (which I did not call her out for until she kept changing the reason for not eating). She says she is confused and doesn't know what to tell me.
Now I am confused, I don't make her eat, I don't question why she doesn't like something, I don't engage, I just have her sit and wait and encourage her to drink her milk. What makes her feel the need to change her reason why she didn't want to eat? Did I not give her the reaction she wanted? Did she forget which lie she was using?
She cried until I went around the corner to check the thermostat. When I came back she was eating. When I excued another child she got up too when I was tending to another child and dumped her food.

Last week she kept asking for string cheese, I was going to serve it for snack but we were out. This week I served it, I left it wrapped, I excused another child and she dumped her plate (again) without waiting her turn, an unopen string cheese that she has been asking for. Are you kidding me, you requested string cheese!!!! Now I am pissed, sorry but I am. Why did she repeatedly ask for it if she wasn't going to eat it?

[Blackcat31]

Why did she repeatedly ask for it if she wasn't going to eat it?

It has nothing to do with food and everything to do with the game you are playing with her.

Stop being a participant. (see post #10)

[Leigh]

It has nothing to do with food and everything to do with the game you are playing with her.

Stop being a participant. (see post #10)

Exactly. I have two of those kids right now. Not hungry? OK, I would never make you eat anything that you don't want to. It's "disgusting"? You don't like that kind" OK, I would never make you eat anything that you don't want to. Maybe you'll like snack better. We'll have snack after nap.

That's as far as I'm willing to talk about it anymore. After lunch, if I hear when is snack time, I always respond with something like "You're hungry already? We just had lunch! Maybe you should have eaten more at lunch so you wouldn't feel so hungry so soon!"

[Alwaysgreener]

Exactly. I have two of those kids right now. Not hungry? OK, I would never make you eat anything that you don't want to. It's "disgusting"? You don't like that kind" OK, I would never make you eat anything that you don't want to. Maybe you'll like snack better. We'll have snack after nap.

That's as far as I'm willing to talk about it anymore. After lunch, if I hear when is snack time, I always respond with something like "You're hungry already? We just had lunch! Maybe you should have eaten more at lunch so you wouldn't feel so hungry so soon!"

Believe me I did just this, I just tell her okay and walk away. I don't let her go play instead I make her sit there during the meal until everybody is done. (We all stay at the table until everybody's done)

What I'm having trouble with is the logic behind it? What's the point in saying you like something but then refusing to eat it or asking for something and then not eating it?
Like the other day I made peanut butter sandwiches for snack. I asked her if she wanted jelly she said no and requested honey. I put honey on the sandwich, everybody sat down and ate except for her. Her sandwich was tossed untouched. I said nothing to her during the meal about eating the sandwich or after about throwing it away.
I just don't get why she does this?

[amberrose3dg]

Believe me I did just this, I just tell her okay and walk away. I don't let her go play instead I make her sit there during the meal until everybody is done. (We all stay at the table until everybody's done)

What I'm having trouble with is the logic behind it? What's the point in saying you like something but then refusing to eat it or asking for something and then not eating it?
Like the other day I made peanut butter sandwiches for snack. I asked her if she wanted jelly she said no and requested honey. I put honey on the sandwich, everybody sat down and ate except for her. Her sandwich was tossed untouched. I said nothing to her during the meal about eating the sandwich or after about throwing it away.
I just don't get why she does this?

I dont let food stress me out. I have a kid now 6 that literally complains about food each day. It does not matter what we have he doesn't like it and eats very little. You eat or you don't eat.

[Rockgirl]

Believe me I did just this, I just tell her okay and walk away. I don't let her go play instead I make her sit there during the meal until everybody is done. (We all stay at the table until everybody's done)

What I'm having trouble with is the logic behind it? What's the point in saying you like something but then refusing to eat it or asking for something and then not eating it?
Like the other day I made peanut butter sandwiches for snack. I asked her if she wanted jelly she said no and requested honey. I put honey on the sandwich, everybody sat down and ate except for her. Her sandwich was tossed untouched. I said nothing to her during the meal about eating the sandwich or after about throwing it away.
I just don't get why she does this?

After all these years in daycare, I don’t even attempt to understand their logic when it comes to things like this.

I don’t give them all those choices when I’m preparing food....I don’t want to be a short-order cook. I just make the food and serve it. Also, here they are not allowed to say it’s gross or they don’t like it....they don’t have to eat it, but they aren’t allowed to be rude about it. And it influences others, who would otherwise happily eat it.

[Blackcat31]

Believe me I did just this, I just tell her okay and walk away. I don't let her go play instead I make her sit there during the meal until everybody is done. (We all stay at the table until everybody's done)

Why? I know many providers have this rule but I am wondering why?

I think 9 out of 10 times it creates the power struggle.

What's after lunch? If kids don't want to come to the table to eat, then they can go directly to the next activity. Here that is rest.
Not hungry?
Don't like what we are eating?
Don't want to sit?
Then go lay down.

What I'm having trouble with is the logic behind it? What's the point in saying you like something but then refusing to eat it or asking for something and then not eating it?

Like the other day I made peanut butter sandwiches for snack. I asked her if she wanted jelly she said no and requested honey. I put honey on the sandwich, everybody sat down and ate except for her. Her sandwich was tossed untouched. I said nothing to her during the meal about eating the sandwich or after about throwing it away.
I just don't get why she does this?

She is doing it for the reaction/attention/control.

Stop playing.
Just serve what you serve.
Don't ask her if she has any special requests or if she likes anything or not.
That ^^ is where you are handing the power to her.

Unless you are a short order cook, YOU decide what's on the menu and then serve that. No edit, no alteration or additions/subtractions. Those choices are a privilege she has yet to earn at your house.

[Leigh]

Why? I know many providers have this rule but I am wondering why?

I think 9 out of 10 times it creates the power struggle.

What's after lunch? If kids don't want to come to the table to eat, then they can go directly to the next activity. Here that is rest.
Not hungry?
Don't like what we are eating?
Don't want to sit?
Then go lay down.



She is doing it for the reaction/attention/control.

Stop playing.
Just serve what you serve.
Don't ask her if she has any special requests or if she likes anything or not.
That ^^ is where you are handing the power to her.

Unless you are a short order cook, YOU decide what's on the menu and then serve that. No edit, no alteration or additions/subtractions. Those choices are a privilege she has yet to earn at your house.

I have the kids sit at the table until everyone is done for two reasons:

1. Good manners
2. If one child leaves to play, the other kids tend to follow even if they aren't done eating. If they all sit together to finish the meal, even the kids who initially wouldn't eat anything might pick at their meal or even eat a good part of it. I WANT them to eat it because I want to instill good eating habits and want them to learn to like vegetables and other things that they might not eat at home (I have one parent who doesn't buy ANY vegetables for their home because none of the 5 members of their family will eat them-he DOES eat them here, especially broccoli, cauliflower, and green beans).