2018 Hot Car Deaths

[Pestle]

If we were required to monitor the children's safety when they were not in our care, we would also, I hope, be entitled to the stipend the state pays to foster parents. Heck, they should just transfer right to our family, along with any 529 plans their families have for them.

If I'm parenting other people's kids when they're off my property, I should be able to rename them, make them mow my lawn when they're teenagers, and depend on them to take my car keys and pay for my retirement home when I'm 90.

[happymom]

You go on with your life knowing you did your small part.

I understand that it's a hard line to draw. I don't think they provider should bare the responsibility either. I wouldn't ever expect it, but one time my daycare forgot to let me know they were unable to pick up my kindergartner from school. I am grateful that the school called me.

My daycare charges $35 to a family who doesn't notify them if they don't need to pick up their child from school that normally gets picked up. BECAUSE they ARE responsible for finding that child and they can not leave without him.

But stuff happens. I have found myself in spacey situations where I turn down the wrong road, headed to daycare to pick up my kids, and then I realize my husband already picked them up. Thankfully I never got to daycare and looked stupid trying to pick up my kids that weren't there LOL

[happymom]

If I'm parenting other people's kids when they're off my property, I should be able to rename them, make them mow my lawn when they're teenagers, and depend on them to take my car keys and pay for my retirement home when I'm 90.

HAHA I love this.

[amberrose3dg]

If we were required to monitor the children's safety when they were not in our care, we would also, I hope, be entitled to the stipend the state pays to foster parents. Heck, they should just transfer right to our family, along with any 529 plans their families have for them.

If I'm parenting other people's kids when they're off my property, I should be able to rename them, make them mow my lawn when they're teenagers, and depend on them to take my car keys and pay for my retirement home when I'm 90.

I think it boils down to accountability. So many people dont want to hold themselves or others accountable. If they forget their child someone else should bare that responsibility.

[BrynleeJean]

If we were required to monitor the children's safety when they were not in our care, we would also, I hope, be entitled to the stipend the state pays to foster parents. Heck, they should just transfer right to our family, along with any 529 plans their families have for them.

If I'm parenting other people's kids when they're off my property, I should be able to rename them, make them mow my lawn when they're teenagers, and depend on them to take my car keys and pay for my retirement home when I'm 90.

Yup. I don't think we should be responsible for anything that happens to those children off our property. In fact I make it clear in interviews and contracts that I am not responsible for your child even as you enter my house and come in contact with your child, thats where I like my control to stop let alone 50 miles away at my parents office.
still very sad.

[mommyneedsadayoff]

I have a bit of a theory as to why this is happening more. It is not being distracted, in my opinion. It is being dissociated from reality. In a variety of ways. When we scroll through facebook, when we outsource our responsibilities, ect. I think the current state of daycare is a very important piece of the equation. Let me see if I can explain.

The other day, in a current thread, there was a link to an old thread on the topic. I went to it and of course, after reading it, I went on to read about 30 more, because the archives just suck you right in!:: The main theme (most of these were from the 2011 timeframe) was that kids spend more time in daycare than they do with their parents. A very common theme were kids at daycare open to close, every day, who would go home and be put to bed. The amount of awake time with the parent is getting less and less. We already know this is not good for the child, but I am curious as to how it effects the parent. This may be one of the effects. I don't think it is intentional, but I do think that it can be a result of habitual absence from your child. A mild and temporary form of dissociation is also called "daydreaming". Now, if you have children and are around your kids, you know that the luxury of daydreaming is very rare. They snap you back into reality every 15-30 seconds or so. If you are not around them, you can daydream to your brain's content. I wonder if parents who spend long hours away from their child every day are in a sort of altered state of reality for such a long period of time, that it transfers to the time they are actually with their children as well, hence forgetting your kid. As a nation, we have normalized the outsourcing of our parenting responsibilities to the point that we forget we are parents, even when we are with our children. It is kind of mind boggling. I think the chemistry of the brain plays a huge factor, but in terms of accountability, maybe parents need to be scared into coming back to reality. I know that daycare is our bread and butter, but I wish that when people got pregnant, their first concern was not about which daycare to send them too once they are born. Every single one of the stories listed in the OP would have been prevented if that was the case.

Anyways, this is just my theory and opinion on how we prioritize life in 2018. It kind of doesn't shock me anymore that kids are forgotten, since it is hard to remember something that you are rarely around. If parents had to feel the full impact of 24 hour care of their child, I think it would be incredibly hard to forget your child. They literally become a part of your normal, because they are the REALITY. We are parents 24/7, but I DO think daycare allows parents to check out for a very long period of that time, and maybe that messes with the brain chemistry and leads to these types of incidences.

[Cat Herder]

This is pretty interesting. I don't know if it has spread to other states, yet. Says 19. Found it just a minute ago.

"April 2, 2018, Kansas City, KS. On Tuesday, the Kansas Senate unanimously passed the Hot Cars Bill (HB 2516) protecting citizens from liability if they rescue a child, animal or vulnerable adult trapped inside a hot car. The “Good Samaritan” bill will now go to the Governor’s desk for his signature. The Hot Cars Bill passed the House on March 14, 2018." - http://www.kidsandcars.org/wp-conten...ses-Senate.pdf

[proudmommyofthree]

I'm with you on that one. I realise it's possible, but there's no way I'd forget that I have a kid in the back seat.

When my son was younger (about a year old) my husband wanted to take him to Home Depot. I told him no, more than once. Why? Because I knew that my husband was capable of forgetting him in the car. It wasn’t routine for my husband to have the kids when he made trips to Home Depot or the store. My husband works construction, so he always made these trips by himself, he would go on auto pilot. My husband was constantly thinking about work and the next project.My son was a very very quiet baby, never made a sound. So the few times he did take my son, I always called my husband and made sure he took the baby out of the car and i would ask him, do you have the baby. At first it bothered him, but then he realized that he does go on auto pilot sometimes.

Now that I am a provider, I will send a text to a parent who doesn’t show up, especially if the opposite parent would be dropping off. When it’s not your routine, to have the kids with you, you go on auot pilot. To me the parent or provider or whoever was supposed to have the child that day, should cal and ask if everything’s was ok. IMHO.

[proudmommyofthree]

I have a bit of a theory as to why this is happening more. It is not being distracted, in my opinion. It is being dissociated from reality. In a variety of ways. When we scroll through facebook, when we outsource our responsibilities, ect. I think the current state of daycare is a very important piece of the equation. Let me see if I can explain.

The other day, in a current thread, there was a link to an old thread on the topic. I went to it and of course, after reading it, I went on to read about 30 more, because the archives just suck you right in!:: The main theme (most of these were from the 2011 timeframe) was that kids spend more time in daycare than they do with their parents. A very common theme were kids at daycare open to close, every day, who would go home and be put to bed. The amount of awake time with the parent is getting less and less. We already know this is not good for the child, but I am curious as to how it effects the parent. This may be one of the effects. I don't think it is intentional, but I do think that it can be a result of habitual absence from your child. A mild and temporary form of dissociation is also called "daydreaming". Now, if you have children and are around your kids, you know that the luxury of daydreaming is very rare. They snap you back into reality every 15-30 seconds or so. If you are not around them, you can daydream to your brain's content. I wonder if parents who spend long hours away from their child every day are in a sort of altered state of reality for such a long period of time, that it transfers to the time they are actually with their children as well, hence forgetting your kid. As a nation, we have normalized the outsourcing of our parenting responsibilities to the point that we forget we are parents, even when we are with our children. It is kind of mind boggling. I think the chemistry of the brain plays a huge factor, but in terms of accountability, maybe parents need to be scared into coming back to reality. I know that daycare is our bread and butter, but I wish that when people got pregnant, their first concern was not about which daycare to send them too once they are born. Every single one of the stories listed in the OP would have been prevented if that was the case.

Anyways, this is just my theory and opinion on how we prioritize life in 2018. It kind of doesn't shock me anymore that kids are forgotten, since it is hard to remember something that you are rarely around. If parents had to feel the full impact of 24 hour care of their child, I think it would be incredibly hard to forget your child. They literally become a part of your normal, because they are the REALITY. We are parents 24/7, but I DO think daycare allows parents to check out for a very long period of that time, and maybe that messes with the brain chemistry and leads to these types of incidences.

I agree ☝️ 100%

[Josiegirl]

"Kids are forgotten, since it is hard to remember something that you are rarely around."

Such a sad statement but so very very true.

[amberrose3dg]

"Kids are forgotten, since it is hard to remember something that you are rarely around."

Such a sad statement but so very very true.

This is true. I have children that are in my care every day that parents are home.
A good example of something that I find sad.
One of my little guy's turned 3 last week. Mom took the day off and left him at daycare while she kept his baby sister home with her. He is literally picked up at 3pm on the dot. He also had a drs apt at 315. That said I do send text messages if a family doesn't show .I don't want to be held accountable if they don't and something has happened.

[nannyde]

I wonder why we don't hear of cold car deaths? Now that the word is out NOT to put your kids coat on in the winter and then put them in a car seat... why aren't parents forgetting their kids in the car when it is cold outside? With the bitterly cold winter we had here in Northern Iowa this last winter, I think a kid would freeze to death in a pretty short amount of time .

[Cat Herder]

I wonder why we don't hear of cold car deaths? Now that the word is out NOT to put your kids coat on in the winter and then put them in a car seat... why aren't parents forgetting their kids in the car when it is cold outside? With the bitterly cold winter we had here in Northern Iowa this last winter, I think a kid would freeze to death in a pretty short amount of time .

"And although it's true that the calamitous effects of leaving a kid in the car are statistically more pronounced in the warmer months, the fact that fewer children die in cars during winter compared to summer does not mean that the worry should wane completely, because it does happen year-round."


"According to NoHeatStroke.org, 700 kids have died in stationary cars from 1998 through the end of October 2016. That's a devastating number of children losing their lives in avoidable tragedies (most caregivers don't realize they've forgotten to drop their children off at daycare, for example, until it's too late), and the number of lurid instances that make headlines each year is somehow climbing, rather than receding, even as each new case ostensibly increases awareness about this issue."

"because the issue simply doesn't get the attention that it does during the months of high sunshine as the when the snow starts coming down. That makes sense, to an extent, because the deaths are concentrated in April through September. In 2015, for example, there was a total 24 instances resulting in kids dying in cars. There was one each in April and May, six in June, three in July, and eight in August, followed by five in September, according to statistics compiled by NoHeatStroke.org. But there are noted instances of a child dying during each calendar month. It's happened most in July since 1998, with around nine occurrences during that month on average. The most that ever happened in November were three in 2006; It happened one time each in December 2009 and 2012."

"The only recorded instance of a kid-left-in-the-car death in January was in 2016, when a Georgia grandmother purposely left her baby grandson in her vehicle for more than five hours while she visited with friends. The 13-month-old ultimately died of hypothermia in the car, which had been left in direct sunlight with the heat cranked up against the outside temperature of 53 degrees."

https://www.romper.com/p/why-do-babies-always-smile-at-me-heres-what-science-has-to-say-9170098

[Cat Herder]

Left out:

My personal opinion is that families have many more scheduled activities to juggle in warmer months than in colder ones. Sports, end of school activities/testing pressures, camps, recitals, etc.

Add to that the commercial focus on family time and photo op holiday gatherings keep the parents' attention more on the kids during the colder months.

[sahm1225]

Out if habit, I do send a text if someone is running late. BUT I would never want it to be my responsibility or required. I could never forgive myself if it was required and I texted an hour late and that’s what caused the death of a child. At an extreme, Parents could eventually rely on us to text as their reminder to drop off kids.

A quick text takes me a few seconds, but I don’t keep calling or texting or even glancing at my phone after I send it. I wold hate for licensing to come and I’m On my phone texting which results in a violations for not observing the Children in my care. Or if I’m busy tracking a family down and a preventable accident happens because I’m preochjpiex by a child who is NOT in my care.

It’s a double edged sword. If we call, we could possibly be assuming responsibility. If we don’t, we could posibly assuming responsibility.